DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)
[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]
"Wait. I was slidin' down a pole... into a cave.. I was wearin' shorts an' pixie boots-- and this wasn't a dirty movie...?" Alternate reality Dick Grayson, Trinity #25.
Happy New Year everybody!!! I intended to post this column before the year ended, but I couldn't... so here it is, to welcome 2009... damn, already? Hope everyone had happy holidays; and the fat man in red was good to you. This is the column for comics published on the week of 11/19. Last column's DT! was subtle, so I didn't expect anyone to notice it... I numbered issue #191 of X-Men as #192 in a past column, then noticed it when I was writing about the actual #192 issue.
The Dissector's Picks Of The Week are as follow; Best Book Of The Week was Amazing Spider-Man #578. I've said it, and I'll say it again, this book is a good read. Guest writer Mark Waid provides a good superhero tale, while artist Marcos Martin, along with colorist Javier Rodriguez create a suitable retro vibe, with Martin's ditkoesque art, and Rodriguez' simple but effective colors. Worst Book Of The Week was Ambush Bug: Year None #4... come on Giffen, this book was supposed to be funny! Now, the first dissections of the year:
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"GIVE ME SOME AIR."
TITLE: Air (DC/Vertigo).
ISSUE: 04.
CULPRIT: G. Willow Wilson (writer).
DISSECTION: This is a good, if strange, book... supposed to be in the vein (spiritually, if not thematically) of other Vertigo books like Y: The Last Man... pick it up, it's a good read. First issue I've had to report dissections on; in this case, with scenes set in Mexico, there are two wrong uses of the Spanish language, the most annoying one the use of the word "vamanos" instead of "vamonos" (let's go). I can accept it from an American character trying to use Hispanic lingo; but not from a Mexican character.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
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"DC MACHINATION."
TITLE: Ambush Bug: Year None (DC).
ISSUE: 04 of 06.
CULPRIT: Jann Jones (editor) and/or Chris Conroy (assistant editor).
DISSECTION: The DC Nation column and Hot List This Week are a few weeks old.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
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"OUTSOURCING LANTERNS."
TITLE: The Brave And The Bold V3 (DC).
ISSUE: 19.
CULPRIT: David Hine (writer).
DISSECTION: Hal Jordan and the Phantom Stranger go to aid Orlan, Green Lantern of Space Sector... 3897?!?!?!?!? Hine, if you wanted to write Green Lantern, you should have done your homework... the Guardians divide the Galaxy into 3600 sectors...
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. Also, Colorist Brian Reber gives Hal white boots... ew...
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"CHALLENGE OF THE SUPERDISSECTION."
TITLE: DC Super Friends (DC).
ISSUE: 09.
CULPRIT: Heroic Age (colorist).
DISSECTION: See if you can spot it, young friend:
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
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"IN THE FUTURE, YOU CAN HAVE WHATEVER EYE COLOR YOU WANT."
TITLE: Justice Society Of America Kingdong Come Special: Magog (DC).
ISSUE: One-shot.
CULPRIT: Hi-Fi (colorist).
DISSECTION: Starman's eyes should be brown, not green. On another note... he makes that beard look good!
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
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"BRING IN THE IDAHO GHOLA!"
TITLE: Moon Knight V5 (Marvel).
ISSUE: 24.
CULPRIT: Mike Benson (writer).
DISSECTION: Iron Man calls Dum Dum Dugan "Duncan". Yeah...
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. Also, Dum Dum Dugan refers to Maria Hill as "Director Hill"; when she's Commander Hill. She could be referred to as "Director" when she was Deputy Director in Tony Stark's absence; but Dum Dum is talking directly to Tony.
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"EL PUNISHOR!"
TITLE: The Punisher V7 (Marvel).
ISSUE: 64.
CULPRIT: Gregg Hurwitz (writer).
DISSECTION: "Buenas dias" is not right in Spanish Gregg, it's "Buenos dias"... also, your letterer has to watch out for accented letters in Spanish words: they should be the same size as the other letters, not smaller to accommodate the tilde.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
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"OW... I STEPPED ON A ROCK..."
TITLE: Rann/Thanagar Holy War (DC).
ISSUE: 07 of 08.
CULPRIT: Ron Lim (penciller) and/or John Kalisz (colorist).
DISSECTION: With one issue to go, why would Animal Man wear his boots?
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
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"IT'S AN ADD FROM THE 31ST CENTURY!"
TITLE: Tiny Titans (DC).
ISSUE: 10.
CULPRIT: Jann Jones (editor) and/or Simona Martore (assistant editor).
DISSECTION: Rub it in, wouldja? An add for Legion Of Super-Heroes In The 31st Century, when the book's last issue was published the week before, with the caption "Monthly!"?!?!?
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
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"YOUNG AND UNTANNED..."
TITLE: Young X-Men (Marvel).
ISSUE: 08.
CULPRIT: José Villarubia (colorist).
DISSECTION: Apart from mistakes in a Spanish name by the writer; Villarubia colors Dani Moonstar (a Native American) and Sunspot (mixed race Brazillian) as having Caucasian skin colors, exactly the same between them, and as Cyclops... To top that, he colors their eyes a very light blue, when they both have brown eyes; and a light blue for Dust, who also has brown eyes.
DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars. Come on, coupled with artist Rafa Sandoval making Sunspot seem almost Asian, you can't even tell which characters they're supposed to be unless they tell you...
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Now, a 7.1 Bazzars average in nineteen dissections is a very good end of the year. Now, the Moments Of The Week; first up, Dan Didio takes the heat:
Heh... and then, NORMAN FOR PRESIDENT!!!
It's not coincidental that he does a V sign with both hands, a la Nixon... That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...
THE DISSECTOR!
