The Dissector #130.

DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)

[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]

"Georgie Porgie is naught but a breathing transport for Georgie Porgie's pudding, which seeks out peculiar quim and holes in young bucks trousers with the snuffling alacrity of a Provençal truffle pig." Percy Shelley, about Lord Byron, Frankenstein's Womb.

Welcome the column for comics released on 08/19; trying to stay on top of deadlines... The Dissector's Picks Of The Week are the following: Best Book Of The Week was, and I'm sorry Amazing Spider-Man, you were close, Atomic Robo And the Shadow From Beyond Time. Atomic Robo (sorry, Dr. Atomic Robo Tesla) teaming up with Carl Sagan is just priceless. Worst Book Of The Week was Final Crisis Aftermath: Dance #4... nonsense plot keeps getting worse.

A close runner-up for Worst Book was the Hellblazer graphic novel "Dark Entries"... first quarter of the book is pretty good, with John Constantine investigating some supernatural mumbo jumbo on a Big Brother meets Haunted Mansion reality show... which turns out to be a reality show with dead people (who don't know they're dead) in a section of hell which reminds you of Mojoworld... yawn...

The Dissect This! was cracked (for the third time in a row) by JohnnyDoe; who spotted that Geoff Johns had written "afflication" instead of "affliction". Badge for him. He also spotted an error I hadn't noticed, and one on my own work (see below for both).
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"PESKY GRAVITY."

TITLE: Adventure Comics (DC Comics).

ISSUE: 504.

CULPRIT: Geoff Johns (writer).

DISSECTION: Starman's powers are described as "gravity manipulation", when he actually manipulates the density and mass of objects. Similar effects, different methods. Badge for JohnnyDoe.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"THIS-ECT THIS AND THIS-ECT THAT."

TITLE: The Dissector (Studio Robota).

ISSUE: 131.

CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).

DISSECTION: I credited JohnnyDoe for cracking the DT! last week, but I said it was because of Krypto's gender, and that had been the week before. Last week's DT! was about the prosthetic hand on a character on "The Good, The Bad And The Ugly", which was colored and drawn as a normal hand in one panel, and then correctly the next one.

DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars. Yet another badge for you, JD, keep raking them in.
<-------------------------------->
"FRANKSTEIN'S TYPESETTER."

TITLE: Frankenstein's Womb (Avatar).

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: Warren Ellis (writer) and/or non-credited letterer.

DISSECTION: Psst, it's "Provençal", not "Provencal".

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"Закон средних."

TITLE: G.I. Joe Origins (IDW).

ISSUE: 06.

CULPRIT: Chuck Dixon (writer).

DISSECTION: Don't have the resources or time to check all the Russian or Uzbek in the issue, but knowing Chuck Dixon, and the disaster he made of Spanish and French in "The Good, The Bad And The Ugly" (see column #128), I'm being benign if I just default it to three language errors in this book.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars each. Am I being unjust? I don't think so, it's the law of averages... and I'm being lenient.
<-------------------------------->
"DISSECTNEXT."

TITLE: GeNext United (Marvel).

ISSUE: 04 of 05.

CULPRIT: Chris Claremont (writer).

DISSECTION: Looks like Chris can't keep his nose clean for too long. Dissect me this, please:


DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"LIKE AN ANDROID'S BUM."

TITLE: Punisher: Frank Castle MAX (Marvel).

ISSUE: 73.

CULPRIT: Goran Parlov (artist).

DISSECTION: Frank has absolutely no scars on his body? In his MAX book? I don’t buy it. Particularly when his hillbilly paramour says she likes his "muscles and scars"

DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars. Also, colorist Lee Loughridge gives Frank green eyes.
<-------------------------------->
"REFLECTING IN YOUR BIG BLUE EYES."

TITLE: Star Trek: Spock: Reflections (IDW).

ISSUE: 02 of 04.

CULPRIT: Ilaria Traversi (colorist).

DISSECTION: Spock's eyes are colored blue. Come on, Ilaria, just watch a Star Trek episode!

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"TINY UN-RANT."

TITLE: Tiny Tyrant: The Ethelbertosaurus (First Second).

ISSUE: One-shot (apparently).

CULPRIT: Lewis Trondheim (writer) and/or unknown editor.

DISSECTION: Ah, tanjit, I can't consider what I found a dissection. But this book was a fun read, so I recommend it.

DISSECT-O-METER: N/A.
<-------------------------------->
"OH, MON PETIT CORY!"

TITLE: X-Factor V3 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 47.

CULPRIT: VC's Cory Petit (letterer).

DISSECTION: How cliché to have the "é" in that word be too small.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"JE T'ADORE, CORY!"

TITLE: X-Men: Legacy (Marvel).

ISSUE: 227.

CULPRIT: VC's Cory Petit (letterer).

DISSECTION: Same thing, but in the word "chére". Pretty much a given when Gambit is around.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars,
<-------------------------------->
Meh, nothing too exciting, huh? On the other hand, it made for a faster writing of this column. This week's column had an average of 6.7 Bazzars in twelve dissections, higher than lately... Okay, The Cover Of The Week is...


Ex Machina #44. Pulp jacket? Check. Pulp goggles? Check. Steampunk cog? Check. Yeah, I'm easy. Thanks, Tony Harris and company. Now, the Moments Of The Week. First up, a familiar crew goes to the movies, and the slickest ladies man in Caltech hits on Power Girl:


... with predictable results. Then, Atomic Robo geeks it out:



Dammit, Robo, can't you see a bug is about to jump you? Who we gonna call?



CARL SAGAN! Hehe. Then, a historical moment in Archiestory:


Poor Betty! But fear not, here comes Jughead:


... he goes for the rebound... and MISSES!!! Last up, taking a page from The West Wing:


The president of the USA in New Earth, DCU is Hispanic. Nice. That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...

THE DISSECTOR!

The Dissector #129.

DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)

[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]

"My name is Peter Parker. I am Spider-Man. I was bit by a one-of-a-kind spider and now I have one-of-a-kind spider-powers. I saved the world. Or at least helped save it. I almost died doing it. A couple of times. For real. But I didn't. I've fought bad guys of every shape and size. True bad guys. World-class villains. Bad bad guys. I've met super heroes, icons. Captain America. Yep. You're talking to a sixteen-year-old who can swing across the city on a web line he actually invented. A guy who can lift a city bus over his head. A guy who has fought the Hulk and walked away from it. We're talking' vampires, mutants, Doctor Doom, Sandman, Green Goblin, Doctor Octopus... I have already seen and done more than most people will ever get to do in their whole lives. And now I have one question, and I want you to think about this very carefully. I want you to look me in the eye and I want you to tell me: Do you want fries with that?" Peter Parker, working in a fast food restaurant, Ultimate Comics Spider-Man #1.

Well, that quote is certainly a mouthful... Welcome to the column for comics published on 08/12. Without further ado, let me tell you that JohnnyDoe is now a Lieutenant in the HDSC, thanks to the badge he earned by figuring out that Streaky was being called a "she", when he's male. Simple as that, nice keen eye for the Silver Age, LT!

Now, The Dissector's Picks Of The Week; for your reading pleasure. Best Book Of The Week was a tie, between Adventure Comics #1 (or #504, I prefer to call it, and DC hasn't forgotten about that). Geoff Johns is without a doubt one of the best superhero comic writers of the past decade, and Francis Manapul, now using a painted, more realistic style (as opposed to the blocky manga-like style he used on LSH) is a perfect fit for Superboy. Of course, a second feature (have I mentioned how much I love DC's second features idea?) starring the Legion doesn't hurt at all, and Clayton Henry does a pretty good job with the art for that story.

I'll have to mention Ultimate Comics Spider-Man #1 came very close; Bendis and Lafuente provide a very good Spidey story. Bendis obviously knows the characters, and Lafuente's art, while not my favorite kind, allows us to remember that Ultimate Spidey is a sixteen years old kid... and a comparatively scrawny and short one. Good job, and while not as good, Ultimate Comics Avengers #1 was very good too.

Worst Book Of The Week? Surprisingly, not Final Crisis Aftermath: Escape #4. While still boring, and not making much sense, at least it's not drawn by Marco Rudy (remember his awful and inconsistent Fire?), but by Cliff Richards (who doesn't destroy Fire). I've toppled a bad artist!!! (Nah, not really) No, Worst Book Of The Week was The Red Circle: Inferno... muddy art, and a boring, confusing, and un-engaging story. With The Red Circle: The Hangman, which wasn't that much (but still passable), DC's revival of The Red Circle characters doesn't look good so far. That's it then, dissections!
<-------------------------------->
"BLUE EL."

TITLE: Action Comics (DC).

ISSUE: 880.

CULPRIT: Javier Mena (colorist).

DISSECTION: Christopher Kent's eyes are colored blue, when he's brown-eyed.

DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"SWITCHEROO!"

TITLE: Adventure Comics (DC Comics).

ISSUE: 504.

CULPRIT: Sal Cipriano (letterer).

DISSECTION: Yes, I've decided to refer to this book with the original numbering; since the dual numbering is not just on the covers, but on the indicia of the book, which makes it pretty clear that is more than just a gimmick. No dissections on the Superboy story, but in the Legion character spread Night Girl and Shadow Lass have the info caption boxes switched between them.

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. There are other mistakes, such as omitting important powers from certain info boxes (namely Superman's invulnerability, or the fact that Polar Boy doesn't just control cold, he generates it too).
<-------------------------------->
"DISSECT THE LEGION."

TITLE: Adventure Comics (DC Comics).

ISSUE: 504.

CULPRIT: Geoff Johns (writer).

DISSECTION: Try this one, it's easy.


DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"LIKE FATHER, LIKE SON."

TITLE: The Amazing Spider-Man V1 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 602.

CULPRIT: Jeromy Cox (colorist).

DISSECTION: Harry's eyes are colored incorrectly.

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. Also, there's an accented letter smaller than it should be.
<-------------------------------->
"LE BUREAU DU ACCENTS."

TITLE: B.P.R.D.: 1947 (Dark Horse).

ISSUE: 02 of 05.

CULPRIT: Clem Robins (letterer).

DISSECTION: Two letters with accents are smaller than they should be.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars each.
<-------------------------------->
"BLACKEST NIT."

TITLE: Blackest Night (DC).

ISSUE: 02 of 8.

CULPRIT: Ivan Reis (penciller).

DISSECTION: Again, Hal's chest emblem, and his ring, are wrong over and over.

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"BOOSTER EYES."

TITLE: Booster Gold V2 (DC).

ISSUE: 23.

CULPRIT: Hi-Fi (colorist).

DISSECTION: Raven and Rip Hunter get their eyes colored incorrectly.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars each. Second feature (have I told you how much I love these second features?) colorist Guy Major also gets the eye color wrong for Blue Beetle's friend Paco.
<-------------------------------->
"VERY WEL."

TITLE: Captain America Theater of War: To Soldier On (Marvel).

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: Fernando Blanco (artist).

DISSECTION: Yeah, I love it that more non-American artists work in big American comics these days, but can we at least make sure they spell check stuff, even if their English is not good.


DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"52."

TITLE: The Dissector (Studio Robota).

ISSUE: Various.

CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).

DISSECTION: I've been labeling issue numbers of Wednesday Comics as if it had twelve issues only; when it's a yearlong weekly comic. I've done it three times.

DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"SEVEN OF EIGHT."

TITLE: G.I. Joe Special-Helix (IDW).

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: Andy Schmidt (editor).

DISSECTION: At the end of the book, there's an ad for G.I. Joe regular series, issue #7... when issue #8 came out this month.

DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"BADGE SWITCHEROO."

TITLE: Green Lantern Corps V2 (DC).

ISSUE: 39.

CULPRIT: Patrick Gleason (penciller).

DISSECTION: Kyle Rayner's badge (I'm going to start calling them badges, which is what they are) is wrong. Some people have suggested that perhaps Hal Jordan changed the look of his own badge, but when they get several Lanterns' badges wrong, and now they're giving Kyle the same badge Hal should have, and Hal a badge that looks a lot like Kyle's should.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"INCREDIBLE HERCULOR."

TITLE: Incredible Hercules (Marvel).

ISSUE: 132.

CULPRIT: Guillem Mari (colorist).

DISSECTION: Both Hercules' and Athena's eyes are colored incorrectly.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"A BREEZE OF EYE COLOR CHANGE."

TITLE: JSA VS Kobra (DC).

ISSUE: 03 of 06.

CULPRIT: Art Lyon (colorist).

DISSECTION: Cyclone's eyes are colored blue, when she has green eyes.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars. Jay Garrick's boots are drawn wrong too.
<-------------------------------->
"S.C.A.R.F."

TITLE: R.E.B.E.L.S. (DC).

ISSUE: 07.

CULPRIT: Andy Clarke (penciller).

DISSECTION: I'm glad Andy Clarke is back, but he got Scar's emblem and robes wrong.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"ALL HAIL MIGHTY DARKSEID."

TITLE: Titans V2 (DC).

ISSUE: 16.

CULPRIT: Brian Cunningham (editor).

DISSECTION: An editor caption says that Darkseid's Justifier helmets enslaved most of the DCU in Final Crisis; when they only enslaved most of the population of Earth.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars. Also, Red Arrow's hair is colored blonde, when he has red hair.
<-------------------------------->
"THE MISWRITTEN."

TITLE: The Unwritten (DC/Vertigo).

ISSUE: 04.

CULPRIT: Todd Klein (letterer).

DISSECTION: Two accented letters are smaller than they should be.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars each.
<-------------------------------->
"DEFECTIVE COMICS. TAKE TWO."

TITLE: Various DC Books Released On 08/12 (DC).

ISSUE: N/A.

CULPRIT: Pat Brosseau (letterer).

DISSECTION: So, the new Magog book is written by "Kieth" Giffen?

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"WEDNESDAY MIXUP."

TITLE: Wednesday Comics (DC).

ISSUE: 05 of 52.

CULPRIT: Blambot's Nate Piekos (letterer, Metamorpho story).

DISSECTION: Metamorpho has a plan, then congratulates Element Girl on her good thinking.

DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars. Iris West's eyes are colored incorrectly, again.
<-------------------------------->
"ACCENTS FOREVER."

TITLE: X-Men Forever V2 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 05.

CULPRIT: Tom Orzechowski (letterer).

DISSECTION: Just an accented letter smaller than it should be, a surprise when it comes to a Chris Claremont book these days.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
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So, we had a 6.3 Bazzar average in thirty-seven dissections; pretty standard. Before the Moments Of The Week, I have a new section, which I've been wanting to do for a while... The Cover of The Week! Turns out there weren't any fantastic covers this week, so I went with one with classic value:


Mister Dave Cockrum's lovely Storm, from the Marvel 70th Anniversary variant cover for X-Men Forever #5. It's nice, not awesome, since they just took a Cockrum sketch, colored it and slapped it on a cover, but it's the best this week. Alright then, we've got quite a few Moments Of The Week this week, so here we go, first up is Starman confirming that Quislet is still around:


Of course, Starman is insane, but Geoff Johns himself told me we'd see more of Quislet. Is Geoff insane too? Next up, I know Rond Vidar's been an honorary Legionnaire, but this preview is just too cool:


An actual Green Lantern Legionnaire!!! Nerdgasm!!! More Lantern stuff, this is scary:


And that's why you should cremate your super powered dead. Next, how do you honor a dead Wolverine?


Of course, the German guy gets it! And I betcha he didn't get him American beer! Next, from an older comic, Comic Book Comics #2 (a book I recommend heartily, from the same creators as Action Philosophers), a look on Wertham's scientific method and its "rebukal" by comic book advocates:


Ah, William Moulton Marston, you kinky bastard. Next, from the same book, TV stars' wacky anticks:


Indeed, Caped Cuckolder! And, yet one more from this book:


So true... Last, but not least, the Avengers Assemble!


The Pet Avengers, that is! That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...

THE DISSECTOR!

The Dissector #128.

DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)

[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]

"Yeah, well, I know this is Gotham, where it's law apparently that people conduct every important conversation on a rooftop (...)" Hal Jordan, Justice League: Cry For Justice #2.

Welcome to the column for comics released on 08/05; I'm still missing a couple of books, but I'll get them eventually. Let's start with the DT!, JohnnyDoe does it again, noticing that Supergirl calls Streaky "she", when the supercat has always been male. Good job, Ensign, one more badge and you make Lieutenant.

The Dissector's Picks Of The Week are as follow; Worst Book Of The Week was Ultimatum: X-Men Requiem; pure crap, top of the shit that they've done with the Ultimate Universe. Remember when it was good? Best Book Of The Week was an easy choice; The Amazing Spider-Man #601... fun story, moving along the plot, and cementing the idea that Mary Jane remembers what really happened between her and Peter. Well, what are you waiting for? There're dissections to be read!
<-------------------------------->
"ACCENTS OF ATLAS."

TITLE: Agents Of Atlas V2 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 09.

CULPRIT: Tom Orzechowski (letterer).

DISSECTION: A letter with a diacritic is smaller than it should be.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"ALL-HYPHEN-COMICS."

TITLE: All Winners Comics 70th Anniversary Special (Marvel).

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: Jared K. Fletcher (letterer) and/or Karl Kesel (writer), and/or Anthony Dial (production), and/or Jeanine Schaefer (associate editor), and/or Tom Brevoort (executive editor).

DISSECTION: The original book's name is "All-Winners...", yet this special is "All Winners...".

DISSECT-O-METER: 3 Bazzar. Can't really give it any higher, as it might be intentional, but I don't really see the reason. On another note, cover artist Daniel Acuña is credited as "Acuna", and variant cover artist Marcos Martín is credited as "Martin".
<-------------------------------->
"CAGE ME AND DYE MY HAIR."

TITLE: The Amazing Spider-Man V1 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 601

CULPRIT: Morry Hollowell (colorist, back up story)

DISSECTION: Danielle Cage's hair is colored a reddish brown instead of black.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars. Also, her mother's eyes are colored incorrectly too; and there's an accented letter that's smaller than it should be. Argh, I'm going to have to come up with a shorthand term for that... or not, since there might always be new readers, and it'd be a pain to link to a glossary.
<-------------------------------->
"LÁ PÁNTHÈRÉ NÓÍRÉ"

TITLE: Black Panther V5 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 07.

CULPRIT: Jonathan Mayberry & Reginald Hudlin (writers).

DISSECTION: A political commentator on Wakandan television uses the word "lattes", but it's spelled "lattés" (and of course, the accented letter is smaller than the rest), but the word is just "lattes". This is what linguists call a hypercorrection; something that occurs when a real or imagined grammatical/phonetical rule is applied in a mistaken or non-standard context, so that a desire to be "correct" leads to an incorrect result.

I love it that there's even sub-forms, like hyperurbanism ("an indulged desire to be posher than posh") and hyperforeignism, but it can occur in the attempt to adapt to any mode of speech. Go check out that wiki article, it's very enlightening.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars each, the hypercorrection and the smaller letter.
<-------------------------------->
"I STUBBED MY TOW."

TITLE: The Boys (Dynamite).

ISSUE: 33.

CULPRIT: Garth Ennis (writer).

DISSECTION: The phrase "tow the line", a variation on "toe the line", is used when the original was intended.

DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"IT'S CRITI NOLL!"

TITLE: Captain America: Reborn (Marvel).

ISSUE: 02 of 05.

CULPRIT: Paul Monts (colorist).

DISSECTION: Hank Pym's eyes are colored brown, when he has blue eyes. Of course, Norman's eyes are also colored incorrect.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars for Pym, 8 for Norman.
<-------------------------------->
"..."

TITLE: Dark Reign: Zodiac (Marvel).

ISSUE: 02 of 03.

CULPRIT: Jose Villarubia (colorist).

DISSECTION: Norman. That's all I'll say.

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"DOOMED DRAWINGS."

TITLE: Doom Patrol V5 (DC).

ISSUE: 01.

CULPRIT: Matthew Clark (penciller).

DISSECTION: YEAH! A new Doom Patrol book! By Keith Giffen, no less, who as far as I know has never written them in a regular basis, but I trust him with the characters (yeah, like he asked). Good start, but there's a couple of dissections. In particular, Matthew Clark draws Negative Man with some drawings (a la cast graffiti) on his bandages... that weren't there the panel before.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars. Also, colorist Guy Major gives Rita Farr green eyes when they should be brown, on both covers, and on the second feature (I love this second feature thing DC's got going on) he gives Doc Magnus green eyes instead of blue ones.
<-------------------------------->
"THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE DISSECTED."

TITLE: The Good, The Bad And The Ugly (Dynamite).

ISSUE: 01.

CULPRIT: Esteve Polls (artist) and Marc Rueda (colorist).

DISSECTION: Yes, this is from last month, but I noticed the dissection on this issue just now. See if you can spot it:


DISSECT-O-METER: Double dissection, really, with a 7 Bazzars rating.
<-------------------------------->
"EL HORRIBLE, EL MALO, Y EL ESPANTOSO."

TITLE: The Good, The Bad And The Ugly (Dynamite).

ISSUE: 02.

CULPRIT: Chuck Dixon (writer).

DISSECTION: *sigh* There's a TON of wanton attacks on the Spanish language, atrocities that make me cringe, like translating "Yes, boss!" as "Si, el jefe!", which, of course, means, "Yes, the boss!" Not even Google makes that mistake:


There's some French mistakes, and small accented letters galore. What can we expect of the quality control of a company which has the book on its website as "THE GOOD THE BAD AND THE ULGY"... "Ulgy"?!??!

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars for this one, I just can't let it pass, it's atrocious. The rest get lower ratings, but are still horrible. Come on Chuck, you're a professional. Seriously, I'll translate ALL Spanish dialogues for ALL comic book writers out there... the time I spend doing that will be less time I spend writing this column!
<-------------------------------->
"ARES GOES NORMAN."

TITLE: Hulk V3 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 13.

CULPRIT: Dan Brown (colorist).

DISSECTION: No, it's not Norman's eyes!!! This time it's Ares, who gets his normal brown colored eyes in most of the issue, but has his eyes colored blue for a few panels.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"CRY FOR SPELLING JUSTICE."

TITLE: Justice League: Cry For Justice (DC).

ISSUE: 02 of 07.

CULPRIT: James Robinson (writer).

DISSECTION: "Villians"?

DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars. Also, numerous incorrect renderings of Hal Jordan's emblem by Mauro Cascioli.
<-------------------------------->
"PICARD WEARS CONTACTS, HE BUYS THEM WHERE NORMAN BUYS HIS."

TITLE: Star Trek: Alien Spotlight: Q (IDW).

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: Ilaria Traversi (colorist).

DISSECTION: Cool! Q! The Tipton brothers manage to convey the feeling of a TNG episode, well done! However, colorist Traversi decides that Picard has green eyes, instead of brown.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"BLUE EYE HARVEST."

TITLE: Star Wars: Dark Times - Blue Harvest (Dark Horse).

ISSUE: 00.

CULPRIT: Dave McCaig (colorist).

DISSECTION: Don Alférez Carlos, from the Cuerpo Honorario De Exploración Disectiva, or, to drop the Matt Wagner Zorro crap, Ensign Carlos from the HDSC spotted a Kilmaulsi (birdlike alien) changing eye colors between panels.

DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"CROUCH LOWER."

TITLE: Star Wars: Invasion (Dark Horse).

ISSUE: 02 of 05.

CULPRIT: Colin Wilson (artist).

DISSECTION: Lowbacca (Chewie's nephew) is drawn at around the same height than the Solo twins, when he's much taller.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars. Nice to have a comic book in the New Jedi Order era, it had been neglected because of the prequels.
<-------------------------------->
"ULTIMATE SCIENCE!"

TITLE: Ultimatum: Fantastic Four Requiem (Marvel).

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: Joe Pokaski (writer).

DISSECTION: Sue Storm says that "any fire needs oxygen", when that's not true. The Human Torch's fire needs oxygen, but not all fires do.

DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars, as much as she is a brilliant scientist, she's nervous, trying to save her brother.
<-------------------------------->
"DEFECTIVE COMICS."

TITLE: Various DC Books Released On 08/05 (DC).

ISSUE: N/A.

CULPRIT: Pat Brosseau (letterer).

DISSECTION: So, the new Magog book is written by "Kieth" Giffen?

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"FORTUNE 500."

TITLE: War Machine V2 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 08.

CULPRIT: Greg Pak (writer).

DISSECTION: I forgot to thank War Machine artist Leonardo Manco, who I recently interviewed in his hometown of Buenos Aires, Argentina. Not only he graciously returned to the site of the interview after I was late because I had gotten lost in an unfamiliar area of the city, but he wouldn't let me pay for the beer and snacks we had; and on top of that gave me a stack of autographed War Machines, plus an issue of Skorpio with featured one of my all-time favorite stories: Tauromaquia.

I met Leonardo, who I'm now proud to call a friend, back in 2006 in a con in Montevideo, my hometown, and interviewed him as the artist for Hellblazer. Talking to him, he mentioned that his first pro work had been "Tauromaquia" (a story about futuristic bullfighters), and I was flabbergasted! One of my favorite comics ever! We struck up some conversation, he sketched a wonderful John Constantine for me... and earlier this year we got in contact again through Facebook. The interview was wonderful, and he's a very nice guy... if anyone wants to listen to the interview (in Spanish), you can find it here, or here.

Anyway, we had a dissection, right? And it's not Leo's fault; in fact, I'm happy to say I've never featured him in this column as a culprit. In this case, Ronin (Clint Barton) thinks Tony Stark's the CEO of Stark Solutions; when it's public knowledge that Tony's a wanted man, and the dismantling of his company has been all over the news.

DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
This week's column had an average of 6.3 Bazzars in fifty-seven dissections. Now, let's go to the Moments Of The Week. First, from Star Trek: Alien Spotlight: Q, Picard enjoys seeing Q sweat while the godlike creature takes control of Picard's body to learn better what it is to be human:


I loved it how Q episodes could be humorous, dramatic, or any mix of the two. Then, the War Of Kings comes to an end, and I didn't expect this:


I certainly didn't... Then, Black Bolt literally screams Vulcan's face off:


Ouch! Next up, Hal Jordan's Adventures In Planet Femme:


With grappa! How Uruguayan of him! Then, Gail Simone fills her Secret Six issues with a lot of cool or funny moments, like this one:


Now there's a man (?) who enjoys his job! And last, the Skywalkers just can't run away from...


... incest! That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...

THE DISSECTOR!

The Dissector #127.

DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)

[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]

"The zombie horde tears into you like a pack of three year olds into a bag of two cent candy." B.A. Felton, Knights Of The Dinner Table #139.

Yes, that quote is from last year, but it’s still funny, and I just got the issue. Trying to stay on top, here's the column for comics released on 07/29, and let's start by congratulating Ensign JohnnyDoe for cracking the DT! from last week. Tigra's feet look like normal female feet, instead of having claws like she should. JD also pointed out that her hands look too much like claws, but I'll let that pass as artistic license. Badge for you, old bean!

Now, The Dissector's Picks Of The Week: Best Book Of The Week was Ignition City #4; nothing spectacular, but Warren Ellis writes a nice tale, no matter the setting, and "pulppunk" is a strong suit for him. Worst Book Of The Week was Ultimatum #5... last issue of a stinker of an event, which probably ruined the Ultimate universe. Dissections time now.
<-------------------------------->
"DOOMED LETTERING."

TITLE: Batman: The Brave And The Bold (DC).

ISSUE: 07.

CULPRIT: Travis Lanham (letterer).

DISSECTION: A word balloon intended for Batman points towards Robotman. Travis, you're just not paying attention to the Johnny DC titles, eh?

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"ALBERT MATCH FREE."

TITLE: Battlefields: The Tankies (Dynamite).

ISSUE: 03 of 03.

CULPRIT: Garth Ennis (writer).

DISSECTION: As usual, Dominik helped me with the German in this issue. Ennis has a Nazi officer use the phrase "Arbeiten sie ihre besondere zauberei", which is Babelfish translation of "Work your special magic." However, that phrase doesn't exist in German, and the verb "arbeiten" can't be used in that way. A suitable alternative would have been "Tu das, was du am besten kannst.", which translates as "Do what you do best".

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars. Badge for you, Dom.
<-------------------------------->
"HE BOUGHT IT ON AMAZON."

TITLE: Blackest Night: Tales Of The Corps (DC).

ISSUE: 03 of 03.

CULPRIT: Mike Mayhew (artist) and/or Peter J. Tomasi (writer).

DISSECTION: Arisia's father gives her a book by Tomar Re... and Re's name is on regular Latin characters on the cover. I'm not buying that.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars. Also, when Arisia joins the Corps, Guy Gardner is seen in Oa. He wouldn't have been there at the moment, since he was in a coma at the time; plus, he wouldn't have been wearing his personalized uniform, even if it was during the short time before his coma where he covered for Hal.
<-------------------------------->
"THE GOBLIN AND EYE."

TITLE: Dark Reign: The Goblin Legacy (Marvel).

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: Tom Chu (colorist).

DISSECTION: Even if this very book includes profiles for Harry and Norman Osborn stating their eyes are blue, they still get their eyes colored incorrectly. Consistency, please.

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"LETHAL EYES."

TITLE: Dark Reign: Lethal Legion (Marvel).

ISSUE: 02 of 03.

CULPRIT: Chris Sotomayor (colorist).

DISSECTION: You've guessed it, it's Norman's eyes again.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"SIÑISTER SPIDER-MAN."

TITLE: Dark Reign: The Sinister Spider-Man (Marvel).

ISSUE: 02 of 04.

CULPRIT: Brian Reed (writer).

DISSECTION: "Ibanez", the last name of what seems to be NYPD's Chief should be "Ibáñez". "Ibanez" doesn't exist.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars. Norman's eyes are colored incorrectly.
<-------------------------------->
"NORMAN IN DA HIZZAZ!!!"

TITLE: Dark Reign: Young Avengers (Marvel).

ISSUE: 03 of 05.

CULPRIT: Sotocolor's Larry Molinar & Adam Street (colorists).

DISSECTION: Norman Osborn is in this issue. Take a guess.

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. There's also a letter with a diacritic that's undersized.
<-------------------------------->
"WOLVEINE."

TITLE: Dark X-Men: The Beginning (Marvel).

ISSUE: 02 of 03.

CULPRIT: Rob Williams (writer).

DISSECTION: Norman Osborn calls Daken a "berserker", but Daken answers with "beserker".

DISSECT-O-METER: 2 Bazzars. Also, since Norman is in this issue, so you know what that means.
<-------------------------------->
"BOW-CHICA-WA-WA."

TITLE: Detective Comics (DC).

ISSUE: 855.

CULPRIT: Greg Rucka (writer).

DISSECTION: If Varga's dialogue is between brackets, to signify that it's actually in Spanish, why does it include the word "chica" in Spanish, instead of "girl" in English?

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"YO, SISTER!"

TITLE: Detective Comics (DC).

ISSUE: 855.

CULPRIT: Greg Rucka (writer) and/or Jared K. Fletcher (letterer).

DISSECTION: Mean Jeff sent me this dissection he spotted:

"Herr Magnus,

In case you don't know, just thought I'd bring to your attention page 5 of the Question back-up in Detective 855.

On the first page, Renee tells Varga, "Hector Soliz wants to know where his SISTER is, Varga." Yet on page 5, after she puts a beatdown on Varga, she asks "Where's Hector, Sister?"

If you're an editor, are you supposed to READ the rough draft before it goes to print and make corrections, or is the title just a formality?

Seems to be a lot of this going around.

-Mean Jeff"

DISSECT-O-METER: 2 Bazzars. Thanks for this, Jeff, and here's another badge for you.
<-------------------------------->
"MEA CULPA, MEA."

TITLE: The Dissector (Studio Robota).

ISSUE: 127.

CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).

DISSECTION: JohnnyDoe caught this one:

"Another thing, in the "FANTASTIC CONTACT LENSES." part you wrote "DISSECTION: Mr. Fantastic's eyes should be brown, but they've been colored brown.".
Well if that is the case all should be fine then :-)"

DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars. Thanks JD, another badge for you. Two more and you'll make Lieutenant. I've also been neglecting to label Unknown Soldier as V4.
<-------------------------------->
"LAURIE LEMMON, NOT LORI LEMARIS."

TITLE: Final Crisis: Legion Of 3 Worlds (DC).

ISSUE: 05 of 05.

CULPRIT: Geoff Johns (writer).

DISSECTION: Over at the Legion Omnicom, Boox909 gave me a heads up that on this issue, Superboy-Prime's girlfriend, Laurie Lemmon is called "Lori" in this issue, when she was correctly called "Laurie" in previous issues.

Boox9009, allow me to welcome you to the Honorary Dissector Scout Corps, with your first badge and the rank of Ensign.

DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars. Also, on the credits, George Pérez' "é" gets mangled.
<-------------------------------->
"BLUE MARBLES."

TITLE: Justice League Of America V2 (DC).

ISSUE: 35.

CULPRIT: Pete Pantazis (colorist).

DISSECTION: It's not Norman, but Hoshi Kimiyo's eyes are colored blue, when they should be black. Do you just start coloring a comic book decide to give a Japanese character blue eyes, and you can't see anything odd about that?

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars. Plastic Man's legs are painted as if he wore pants... and he doesn't; all in the same page where he is colored correctly in the rest of the panels
<-------------------------------->
"A TRUE MAMMOTH."

TITLE: Justice Society Of America V3 (DC).

ISSUE: 29.

CULPRIT: Jesús Merino (artist).

DISSECTION: Mammoth is a large man, but he's not inhumanly big; yet Merino draws him so that each of his arms is the size of Citizen Steel's entire body.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars. There are also a few costuming mistakes, plus Merino's first name is shown in the credits as "Jesus".
<-------------------------------->
"SENORA SANADÚÚÚÚÚÚÚÚÚ!!!"

TITLE: Madame Xanadu (DC/Vertigo).

ISSUE: 13.

CULPRIT: Matt Wagner (writer).

DISSECTION: Matt, it's "Señora" and "Tomás", not "Senora" and "Tomas".

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars each.
<-------------------------------->
"BABIES: IN THE MARVEL UNIVERSE, THEY SHIFT SIZE ALL THE TIME."

TITLE: New Avengers (Marvel).

ISSUE: 55.

CULPRIT: Stuart Immonen (penciller).

DISSECTION: Danielle Cage is drawn much smaller and younger than she should be, and bald, as a two or three months old baby, when she's shown to be at least one year old. and with a full head of hair.

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. There are other mistakes, like making Jessica Jones' hair orange, and drawing and coloring Captain America's boots incorrectly.
<-------------------------------->
"TO BOLDLY PUT YOUR BALLOONS..."

TITLE: Star Trek: Mission's End (IDW).

ISSUE: 05 of 05.

CULPRIT: Neil Uyetake (letterer).

DISSECTION: A word balloon for Kirk is actually pointing at Spock. Oh, I got my Burger King Spock Prime toy today!!! I still want a Scotty and a regular Spock toy, but even though I've been to BK four times in the past month and a half, I haven't been able to get one. Kewl toys, except that the Spanish voices for the chips were recorded by Polish people who don't speak the language...

My kid opted for the ships and instruments, he has the communicator, the Jellyfish, and the Enterprise. Here's the whole set.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars. The Star Trek II add is also on this book.
<-------------------------------->
"SOLO TUS OJOS."

TITLE: Star Wars Adventures: Princess Leia and the Royal Ransom (Dark Horse).

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: Michael Atiyeh (colorist).

DISSECTION: Han Solo's eyes are colored green during most of the issue... then brown (as they should be) for a couple of panels... then green again. So, not only are you unable to look at character references for one of the MAIN CHARACTERS OF THE STAR WARS SAGA, but you're also unable to keep your crap consistent for a single comic?

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. Yes. It's Han FUCKING Solo, not BoShek (who has brown eyes too, BTW & FYI).
<-------------------------------->
"COLORINKA, TOVARISCH."

TITLE: Thunderbolts (Marvel).

ISSUE: 134.

CULPRIT: Frank Martin (colorist).

DISSECTION: Incorrectly colored eyes? Yes, but not Norman's but Natasha Romanova's. Her eyes should be green, but they're colored blue here.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars. Also, there's a Russian vowel with diacritic that's smaller than it should be.
<-------------------------------->
"UNKNOWN SEÑOR."

TITLE: Unknown Soldier V4 (DC/Vertigo).

ISSUE: 10.

CULPRIT: Joshua Dysart (writer).

DISSECTION: Please, please!!! It's "señor", not "senor"!!!

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"WEDNESDAY THIS!"

TITLE: Wednesday Comics (DC).

ISSUE: 04 of 12.

CULPRIT: Jimmy Palmiotti (writer).

DISSECTION: Find me this one:


DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars. There are also some eyes colored incorrectly, Iris' and Hawkman's.
<-------------------------------->
MAGNITO.""

TITLE: X-Men Forever V2 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 04.

CULPRIT: Chris Claremont (writer) and/or Jordan D. White & Charlie Beckerman (assistant editors) and/or Mark Paniccia (editor).

DISSECTION: On the recap page, what's a "supremicist"?

DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars. There are also several smaller accented letters.
<-------------------------------->
We had an average 6.4 Bazzars in forty eight Dissections. Now it's time for the Moments Of The Week. First up, the Tankies say goodbye having a good smoke:


Reminds me of a story... a guy I know used to smoke Russian cigarettes he bought from sailors in the harbor. They were NASTY pieces of shit that smelled awful; probably made out of one third normal tobacco, one third black tobacco, and one third Chernobyl waste. One day, in college (when you could still smoke in class), he left his pack of smokes on his chair, and went to ask the professor a question. When he returned to his seat, the smokes were gone, but he found some money and a note that read "BUY YOURSELF SOME MARLBOROS, YOU SON OF A BITCH!"

I guess it's funnier when he tells it... Next up, I get a guest spot on Ignition City!!!


And this is how my house would smell:


... if it wasn't for my wife. Now, for some Star Wars fun, what's 100% necessary in Star Wars? Starships? Jedi? Adventure? Aliens?


No, incest. Even they are half-siblings, you just need to add their mom, Nyna Calixte (aka Morrigan Corde) and we'll have a threencestsome! And last, still in Star Wars, Grand Admiral/Grand Moff/High Moff Morlish Veed adds another title to his collection:



Yeah, he's not going to take advantage of his situation.... particularly not when it would shorten his business card by just making it read "Emperor". That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...

THE DISSECTOR!

Honorary Dissector Scout Corps Ranks.

Just to have them someplace neat and on their own, here are the ranks of the Honorary Dissector Scout Corps and the amounts of badges needed to reach them:

High Admiral 131-infinite
Admiral 101-130
Rear Admiral 81-100
Vice Admiral 66-80
Commodore 51-65
Captain 41-50
Commander 26-40
Lieutenant Commander 16-25
Lieutenant 6-15
Ensign 1-5

And here's the current roster:

Grand Admiral MaGnUs
High Admiral Nysie (Honorary)
Vice Admiral Snakebyte 46
Cmdr. Dominik B. 25
Lt. Cmdr. Miss Kitty Fantastico 16
Lt. Cmdr. Guvnor 16
Lieutenant Sully 12
Lieutenant DrSilent 13
Lieutenant J. Corbin 9
Lieutenant Snarf5181 6
Ensign Roy 5
Ensign JohnnyDoe 4
Ensign Bea 3
Ensign Bored 3
Ensign Lucas Siegel 3
Ensign Kal 3
Ensign Tylo 2
Ensign Shadz 2
Ensign Mato 2
Ensign Mean Jeff 2
Ensign Matt Brady 1
Ensign Paul O'Brien 1
Ensign Trasgo 1
Ensign Ilustr8r 1
Ensign leahcim 1
Ensign TokerTheKid 1
Ensign Teukro 1
Ensign Wolfie 1
Ensign Jordan 1
Ensign Gary Greenwood 1
Ensign Rodiath 1
Ensign Emerre 1
Ensign Carlos 1
Ensign Michael (Legion Omnicom) 1
Ensign Boox909 1

Grand Admiral MaGnUs
HDSC Flagship DSS Tesla

The Dissector #126.

DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)

[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]

"Inside that room is a temporal paradox. Open it and... well.. you know Schrödinger's cat? No? Well that, is Schrödinger's Tyrannosaurus Rex." The Doctor, Doctor Who: Room With A Déjà View.

Ah, the good Doctor, he always treats us to with excellent quotes. Welcome to the column for comics released on 07/22, and thanks for reading. Oh, in case I didn't mention it before (and I haven't), take a look at new TV show Warehouse 13. It's kind of like Torchwood America, or X-Files lite... but with a decidedly more steampunk and weird artifacts twist. I never enjoyed the X-Files, but I already love this show.

So, The Dissector's Picks Of The Week were pretty easy, and they're both Final Crisis related. First, Worst Book Of The Week was Final Crisis Aftermath: Dance #3. It's not as bad as Escape, but it sure is boring as hell. Best Book Of The Week? Well, of course it's Final Crisis: Legion Of 3 Worlds #5. One heck of a last issue for the mini; and it was worth the wait. It has everything a Legion fan would want, and it gives a clever resolution to Superboy Prime's rampage... for now. It was just nerdgasmic... take a look at the Moments Of The Week, for some samples.

Before we go to the dissections, let me tell you what the DT! from last week was, since no one got it: Hammerhead's shirt has no buttons, it's like he's wearing a polo shirt with a tie... and I doubt he would do that.
<-------------------------------->
"VENOM: MORE THAN A NAME."

TITLE: All-New Savage She-Hulk (Marvel).

ISSUE: 04 of 04.

CULPRIT: Fred Van Lente (writer, Scorpion story).

DISSECTION: Scorpion's (Carmella Black) power is to absorb toxins... but she absorbs the Venom symbiote's powers, even for a brief time? Bullshit.

DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"MIX AND MATCH."

TITLE: The Amazing Spider-Man V1 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 600.

CULPRIT: John Romita, Jr. (penciller).

DISSECTION: Captain America's costume is severely misrepresented, both by artist Romita and by colorist Dean White (ironic, innit?). Look:


DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars for the pencilling mistakes. Plus, there's hair and eye coloring mistakes galore, and a small accented letter. Still, a good issue, worthy of a 600th one. See the Moments of The Week if you don't believe me.
<-------------------------------->
"DISSECTION: THE INITIATIVE."

TITLE: Avengers: The Initiative (Marvel).

ISSUE: 26.

CULPRIT: Rafa Sandoval (penciller).

DISSECTION: See if you can crack this one:


DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"BLACKEST EMBLEM."

TITLE: Blackest Night: Tales Of The Corps (DC).

ISSUE: 02 of 03.

CULPRIT: Ed Benes (cover penciller).

DISSECTION: *sigh* Can we please get Hal Jordan's emblem right?


DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"FANTASTIC CONTACT LENSES."

TITLE: Dark Reign: Fantastic Four (Marvel).

ISSUE: 05 of 05.

CULPRIT: John Rauch (colorist).

DISSECTION: Mr. Fantastic's eyes should be brown, but they've been colored brown.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars. Also, Norman Osborn's eyes are colored first green, then blue (his correct eye color).
<-------------------------------->
"EXO-NERATED."

TITLE: Dark Reign: Mr. Negative (Marvel).

ISSUE: 02 of 03.

CULPRIT: Fred Van Lente (writer).

DISSECTION: Both my friend Carlos, and regular reader JohnnyDoe noticed that on the DT! for last column there was another error... Norman Osborn says Hammerhead has an exoskeleton, when it's all inside of his body. Badge for both.

DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"DISSECTION OF THREE WORLDS."

TITLE: The Dissector (Studio Robota).

ISSUE: Various.

CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).

DISSECTION: In past columns, I've referred to "Legion Of 3 Worlds" incorrectly as (Legion Of Three Worlds", eight times, to be exact.

DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars each.
<-------------------------------->
"TANZ!"

TITLE: Final Crisis Aftermath: Dance (DC).

ISSUE: 03.

CULPRIT: Joe Casey (writer).

DISSECTION: There's two instances of incorrect German; thanks to Dominik for helping with that.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars. There's also five instances in which a diacritic makes a letter smaller.
<-------------------------------->
"BRAINIAC FIVE EYE COLORS."

TITLE: Final Crisis: Legion Of 3 Worlds (DC).

ISSUE: 05 of 05.

CULPRIT: Hi-Fi (colorist).

DISSECTION: Once more, Hi-Fi colors all Brainiac Five's eyes purple, instead of green. In fact, while other fourteen times he colors them purple, he colors the eyes of one of them green in one page, and the third one's eyes he colors blue. He also colors Duplicate Damsel's eyes blue, when she has brown eyes, and to booth, he colors Superboy's eyes brown, even after correctly coloring them blue before.

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. On another note, Shikari's name is misspelled "Shakari", and Michael, at The Legion Omnicom noticed that Karate Kid II's name, "Myg" is incorrectly spelled as "Mygg".
<-------------------------------->
"AIRPORT!"

TITLE: G.I. Joe (IDW).

ISSUE: 07.

CULPRIT: Chuck Dixon (writer).

DISSECTION: Snake Eyes sneaks into a plane at "Cheplap Kok Airport"... which does not exist. Dixon meant to use HKG, Hong Kong International Airport, which is colloquially called "Chep Lap Kok", for the island it was built on (thanks to land reclamation). Not only is it wrong to call it by a colloquial name when you're setting the location in the military report style that Joe comics use, he didn't even use the right coloquial name.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"CATSEYE."

TITLE: Gotham City Sirens (DC).

ISSUE: 02.

CULPRIT: Guillem March (cover artist).

DISSECTION: Catwoman's eyes are colored blue, when she has green eyes.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"BADGE PROBLEMS."

TITLE: Green Lantern V4 (DC).

ISSUE: 44.

CULPRIT: Doug Mahnke (penciller).

DISSECTION: Hal Jordan's chest emblem shifts between his right one and a modified one.

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. Mahnke also gives John Stewart an emblem that looks more like Hal's.
<-------------------------------->
"BOWLAND'S ORGASM."

TITLE: Herogasm (Dynamite).

ISSUE: 03 of 06.

CULPRIT: Simon Bowland (letterer).

DISSECTION: Of course, an accented letter is smaller than the rest of the letters in the word.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"ACCENT ON SIMON BOWLAND."

TITLE: The Incredible Hercules (Marvel).

ISSUE: 131.

CULPRIT: Simon Bowland (letterer).

DISSECTION: Good God, Simon Bowland! Can you please understand that accented vowels and Ñs are not smaller than other letters? Now you've even mangled colorist Raúl Treviño's name... even if he does color Hercules' hair sandy blonde, instead of dark brown.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"DOCTOR... NOT OF ANATOMY."

TITLE: The Incredible Hulk V1 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 600.

CULPRIT: Ed McGuiness (penciller).

DISSECTION: A few minor mistakes, for example, look at Doc Samson's arm... does he have extra muscles?! Like the liefieldceps?


DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"TRAUMA-TURGICAL."

TITLE: Phonogram: The Singles Club (Image).

ISSUE: 04 of 07.

CULPRIT: Kieron Gillen (writer).

DISSECTION: Gillen uses the word "thaumatological", which does not exist. He probably meant "thamaturgical".

DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"SOMETHING'S MISSING..."

TITLE: Power Girl V2 (DC).

ISSUE: 03.

CULPRIT: Amanda Conner (artist).

DISSECTION: Manhattan, lifted from the ground into space by the Ultra Humanite, is returned to Earth... but no subway tunnels, sewers or the like can be seen in the ground under it.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars. Also, variant cover artist Guillem March strikes again, changing Terra's hair and eye color.
<-------------------------------->
"BACK ISSUE OF KHAN."

TITLE: Star Trek: Spock: Reflections (IDW).

ISSUE: 01 of 04.

CULPRIT: Scott Dunbier (editor).

DISSECTION: Nice first issue, a good idea to explore Spock's work as main promoter of the reunification of Vulcans and Romulans. Still, the Wrath Of Khan adaptation ad is still claiming "JUNE 2009" and all that.

DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars. If you want to sell back-issues, edit the ad, come on!
<-------------------------------->
"TINY LETTERS."

TITLE: Tiny Titans (DC).

ISSUE: 18.

CULPRIT: Unknown letterer.

DISSECTION: An "é" is smaller than it should be.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"DISORDERED NATIONS."

TITLE: X-Force V3 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 17.

CULPRIT: Mike Choi (penciller).

DISSECTION: Even with all the fictitious countries that exist in the Marvel Earth, I don't see why the United Nations' flags in the front of the building would be in a different order than they are in reality.

DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars. Also, Elixir's eyes are colored brown when he has blue eyes.
<-------------------------------->
We had a whopping seventy dissections, and an average of 6.6 Bazzars! We have a large Moments Of The Week section, so let's get through them. The first few are from Legion Of 3 Worlds, first up, the obligatory "Legion Assemble!" splash page:


Then, the founders meet themselves. And Lightning Lad is a conceited douche:


Heh. Next up, Superboy Prime goes back home:


Who said you could never go back home? Then, the Green Lantern Corps comes back to life in the 31st Century:


Nice! Then, Superboy Prime goes back to being the troll he's always been:


See how awesome LO3W was? Now, one of those moments that make me love Atomic Robo:


Priceless! Now, what's most likely the scariest moment of the week:


Franklin has his powers back? *shivers* Let's get our mind off that, and relax with a joke:


Funny... sort of. Now, from Phonogram: The Singles Club (a quaint little book):


It has his cute little moments. Now, from Amazing Spider-Man, the sweetest moment of the week:


And then, a nice return:


Hey, tiger! And for our grand finale, what's cooler than an airship?


An airship piloted by a dog wearing goggles! With a gun! That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...

THE DISSECTOR!