The Dissector #134.

DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)

[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]

"I REALLY need to restructure my life so I can spend more time reading abstracts and less time punching dinosaurs." Atomic Robo, Atomic Robo And The Shadow From Beyond Time #5 (09/16).

"(...) you read a lot. You'd be the only other one in a town that values the weight of a pig more than the works of Nikola Tesla." Young Lex Luthor about Smallville, Superman: Secret Origin #1 (09/23).

"My girth brings fear to my enemies." Volstagg The Voluminous, Thor #603 (09/30).

Sorry it's taking me so long to catch up... I started a new position at work; completely new stuff; plus I changed to a day shift after more than three years working nights. It's taking me some time to adjust, that's all. This column, as you might have surmised from the three quotes above, is for comics published in the last three weeks of September. I still have the first week of October, and the second one will pile up with that one too; but I think I'll write two separate columns. The Rundown is gargantuan; so I've posted it a couple of days ago. You can check it out if you feel like it.

You had a long time to solve the last DT!, but it seems there's not enough trekkies among my readers. I'll elaborate later in the column, but the problem is that there was no Klingon Emperor in the time period the comic book "Romulans: Schism" takes place in. This column's DT! is not Star Trek themed, promise.

Now, The Dissector's Picks Of The Week(s), I'll try to make it as short as possible. Best Book Of 09/16 was Atomic Robo And The Shadow From Beyond Time #5; not the best issue in the mini, but better than the rest of the stuff that week. Worst Book of that week was Final Crisis Aftermath: Escape #5, awful like the rest of the series. Best Bok of 09/23 was Ghostbusters: Displaced Aggression, a good idea to have the 'Busters time travelling; and a steampunk wild west issue with Venkman was a great start. Worst Book of that week was Dark X-Men: The Confession; completely unnecessary, it was forced and it was hard to believe that Cyclops and Emma Frost really didn't know what the other was up to; or that they would really kick up a shit storm when they found out. I actually expected a confession that shocked readers; not stuff we already knew and the characters themselves didn't care much about.

Best Book for 09/30 The Last Days Of Animal Man #5; I wish Gerry Conway was given an ongoing book with Buddy, or at least a second feature... yes; please, a second feature of Animal Man in some other book!!! Worst Book of that week was Hulk #15; it's not really THAT horrible a book, it's just bland, and I don't like Ian Churchill too much.

Before moving on to the dissections; I'd like to announce the official opening of a comic book... publisher? Self-publishing group, is more like it; which will start as a digital endeavour; but might evolve into print in the future. I'm one of the founders; and I'm still working on stuff to publish, it'll eventually feature my work. It'll be mostly in Spanish; but my comics I'll try to publish both in that language and in English; so please stop by G.A.S. Digital (Grupo de Arte Secuencial, Sequential Art Group) to check it out. There; dissections time!
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"BLACKEST DISSECTION."

TITLE: Blackest Night (DC)

ISSUE: 03 of 08.

CULPRIT: Ivan Reis (penciller) and/or Geoff Johns (writer).

DISSECTION: Right away, spot me this one:


DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars. There's also dozens several occurrences of Hal Jordan's badge being incorrect.
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"DAYLIGHT SAVINGS."

TITLE: Blackest Night: Superman (DC).

ISSUE: 02 of 08.

CULPRIT: James Robinson (writer).

DISSECTION: A customer thanks the barber for staying open especially for him; a teenager is called to diner; but the very first caption says "This Morning".

DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars. This one was reported by Dominik, badge for him. There's also a minor art dissection.
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"COLOR BLIND DEAD."

TITLE: Blackest Night: Titans (DC).

ISSUE: 02 of 03.

CULPRIT: Hi-Fi Design (colorist).

DISSECTION: Piggylicious wrote on the TCN forums: "On page 15, Bart, Donna, and Cassie are seen in Ring-O-vision and Donna is violet. The text clearly states that she is showing "Will", which should be Green, because Green is the color of Willpower. If you want proof just read any Green Lantern title EVER, or hell, even any other Blackest Night Title."

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. Badge for you, Piggy, welcome to the HDSC. There's also a problem with some eyes colored incorrectly.
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"MAC GARGMOM."

TITLE: Dark Reign - The List: The Avengers (Marvel).

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: Brian Michael Bendis (writer).

DISSECTION: Venom is spelled "Venmom" at one point. Snakebyte spotted this one, welcome back, Vice Admiral.

DISSECT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars.
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"THE DISSECTTOR."

TITLE: The Dissector (Studio Robota).

ISSUE: 133.

CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).

DISSECTION: I wrote "Scarlett" instead of "Scarlet". Yes Snake, we get it, you're back.

DISSECT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars.
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"AIN'T NO TWO WAYS ABOUT IT."

TITLE: Green Lantern V4 (DC).

ISSUE: 46.

CULPRIT: Geoff Johns (writer).

DISSECTION: Dominik noticed that two conflicting stories as to how Black Lanterns can be killed. From his review: "After Indigo-1 has done it effortlessly in the last issue of Blackest Night, here’s the recipe to destroy a Black Lantern, finally spelled out. And I shall quote Hal Jordan here: “Sanitize the Black Ring with light, green or whatever other colour you’ve got. It leaves the ring brittle – you can shatter them – and it’ll cause a feedback that destroys the Black Lantern.” Basically, the recipe is to wash the black ring.

This – of course – doesn’t quite add up to the explanation given in Blackest Night #3 which goes as follows: “Green Light, reinforced with another such as ours will neutralize the Black Rings and leave them susceptible to conventional damage. Once destroyed, the ring initiates a feedback, which renders the Black Lantern inert. The more shades of the emotional spectrum shining together, the stronger the light.” Basically, Green plus X makes them vulnerable and then you can punch the death out of them."

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars. Another badge for you, Dom.
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"RANT COMING ONLINE... NOW!"

TITLE: Green Lantern V4 (DC).

ISSUE: 46.

CULPRIT: Andy Kubert (variant cover penciller).

DISSECTION: *sigh* HAL JORDAN'S BADGE IS THE ONE IN THE FREAKING LOGO OF THE COMIC!!! COME ON!!! HOW HARD CAN IT BE?!!!?!?!?! I'VE SAID IT SEVERAL TIMES ALREADY, AFTER SUPERMAN AND BATMAN, HAL'S EMBLEM IS THE MOST ICONIC OF ALL SUPERHEROES!!!!! In fact, icon-wise; graphic wise, it might just be the most iconic one... Variant cover artist Andy Kubert gets it wrong; but at least main cover and interior artist Doug Mahnke gets it right; which is a good thing, since he had been getting it wrong in previous issues and on Blackest Night: Tales Of The Corps. Let's see if he gets it right next issue... and if other artists can get it right.

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. Also, Mongul's blood is colored incorrectly.
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"RING YOUR RING."

TITLE: Justice League Of America 80 Page Giant (DC).

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: JT Krul (writer, main story).

DISSECTION: Hal Jordan's ring is taken from him, and oh no, he can't use it. Except it's been shown time and again that Lanterns can control their rings even if they're not wearing them; as long as they're nearby.

DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars. There's a few other art and writing dissections too.
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"SMELLS WRONG."

TITLE: Justice League Of America 80 Page Giant (DC).

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: JT Krul (writer, main story).

DISSECTION: I don't care if Cheetah's powers come from a goddess of fertility, or how heightened her sense of smell is; she can't tell that a newborn baby is not unrelated to another person just by scent.

DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars.
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"HISTORY FAIL."

TITLE: Marvel Divas (Marvel).

ISSUE: 03.

CULPRIT: Tonci Zonjic (penciller).

DISSECTION: Firestar is shown in the Massachusetts Academy; with Emma Frost as a teacher. Not only is she shown wearing normal clothes (instead of her usual lingerie), but she and a student have X-symbols in their clothes. Right. Tonci, you do know Emma frost was a villain and not a part of the X-Men family until a LONG, LONG time after Firestar left her Academy, don't you? I'll even overlook the fact that as far as I remember Emma Frost never actually taught the Hellions anything, and that the student with the X on the back of his shirt was never seen among them, but you might want to research before you draw.

DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars. Of course, there's also an accented letter smaller than it should be.
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"HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NURSE!"

TITLE: New Avengers (Marvel).

ISSUE: 57.

CULPRIT: Brian Michael Bendis (writer), Stuart Immonen (penciller), and Dave McCaig (colorist).

DISSECTION: The Night Nurse makes an appearance... but it's the wrong one. The one who treats superheroes and dated Doctor Strange is Linda Carter, and this (from the character design and the fact that she works at a hospital) is Christine Palmer. Several Avengers from this team have been treated by Carter, she's well known by them; while Palmer has only dealt with Storm and Nightcrawler.

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. Also, Daken's eyes are colored incorrectly.
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"BEWARE MY PRESCIENT SUPER STRENGHT!"

TITLE: Punisher V8 (Marvel).

ISSUE: Annual 01.

CULPRIT: Rick Remender (writer).

DISSECTION: One of the villains induces "clairvoyant rage" in other people. "Clairvoyant"? Rick, do you even know what the word means?

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars. There's also Frank's eyes colored blue instead of brown (Dominik spotted these), Letha's called "Leetha"; her hair braid is like a flat, bi-dimensional thing (Dom too), Spider-Man's chest emblem is wrong, and Lascivious' wounds disappear magically, as well as the dirt and blood around them (Dom as well).
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"PLAKH!"

TITLE: Star Trek: Romulans: Schism (IDW).

ISSUE: 01 of 04.

CULPRIT: John Byrne (writer).

DISSECTION: Like I said, before, Klingons didn't have an Emperor for a long, long time. Here's the crowning moment of this screw-up. While his Star Trek books are the best stuff Byrne's written in a long time (I love his work, but lately, he's been... out of touch with what comic book readers want); he's made a grave mistake. There's a Klingon emperor (and a Princess) during the late 2260s; when the story takes place. There was no Emperor in the Klingon Empire from the mid-21st Century to 2369 (and then only in a ceremonial position, the clone of Kahless).

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. It's one thing to make that mistake in an ad, but in the comic itself? Byrne could have perfectly used the patriarch of an influential Klingon house in that role; instead of making up stuff that's utterly wrong.
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"PUJ'O!"

TITLE: Star Trek: Romulans: Schism (IDW).

ISSUE: 01 of 04.

CULPRIT: John Byrne (artist).

DISSECTION: The Klingon princess (ugh) has completely human feet. Klingons have ridged feet.

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. Also, Klingon blood is colored pink... Byrne and Lovern Kindzierski need to catch up on their Trek.
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"IT'S SORT OF... KIND OF... FAMILIAR, I THINK..."

TITLE: Superman/Batman (DC).

ISSUE: 64.

CULPRIT: Joe Casey (writer).

DISSECTION: Gee Supes, good thing the markings on the Kryptonian battlesuits that are ALMOST EXACTLY like the one you own are familiar!

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. Also, it's either non-recombinant drive or neo-recombinant drive. Make up your mind, Joe.
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"WALLY SHARES THE SPEED FORCE."

TITLE: Titans V2 (DC).

ISSUE: 17.

CULPRIT: Ángel Unzueta (penciller).

DISSECTION: God, I didn't notice this when I read it, but look at blog entry by Bleyer (in Spanish). First Beast Boy has Wally on his left, and Roy on his right. Then Wally is on his right... and then Roy is on his left!

DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars.
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"WOULD YOU LIKE BODIES FLOATING IN YOUR DRINK?"

TITLE: Wolverine: Weapon X (Marvel).

ISSUE: 05.

CULPRIT: Ron Garney (penciller).

DISSECTION: I don't read this book, but Dominik says "Dead bodies don't sink in shallow water when wearing light clothes. Wearing heavy clothes, such as body armour, they don't get carried away by the water if they don't swim due to their kit. They get buried in sand."

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
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"WHEN IT'S NOT HIS FEET..."

TITLE: X-Men Forever V2 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 08.

CULPRIT: Steve Scott (penciller) and Lee Loughridge (colorist).

DISSECTION: Beast does not have yellow eyes without pupils or irises!

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. There's also an accented letter that's too small, Rogue's eyes are colored blue instead of green, and "Zigfried" Trask is a woman with a male name.
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This was indeed a macro-column; with an average of 6.6 Bazzars in a whopping one hundred and forty-five dissections! Of course, it was three weeks, and three weeks with a lot of content. Let me show you the Covers Of The Week(s):

Cover Of The Week of 09/16 goes for this simple, yet beautiful cover from The Mighty Avengers #29, by Khoi Pham, Allen Martinez and John Rauch:


Week of 09/23 had this nice, if not very original or breathtaking cover from Detective Comics 857, by J.H. Williams III:



And lastly, week of 09/30 had a very sexy, very spunky cover from The Amazing Spider-Man #607, which is purrfect for the character it portrays; courtesy of J. Scott Cambpell (whose stuff I don't normally dig that much) and Edgar Delgado:


To end the column, Moments Of The Week(s)? Just the one moment from 06/16, one of the funny moments Atomic Robo never fails to deliver:


Detect Evil is a nice spell, you know? Now, from 09/23, as if Utopia wasn't already a big target for the rest of the world:


Damn... Then, Bruce Banner has stones...


... and a kid made of stone, too. Then, speaking of Utopia, look who's back:


Yeah baby! The Mutant Master Of Magnetism himself! As for 09/30, we start with a revelation of another Legionnaire in the Metropolis Science Police Squad:


Nice surprise. Then, The Adventures Of Thing Thing!


That brought a smile to my face. Next, don't mess with Sinestro:


It doesn't matter that your skin matches the rings, it still is the "Sinestro" Corps... Now, who makes Ares a proud pops?


The God Of Fear himself! Speaking of divine beings:


That's where the quote for the week of 09/30 came from, but the whole scene (and it was longer) was just too funny not to single out. That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...

THE DISSECTOR!

The Dissector #131.

DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)

[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]

"Whoa. Jingoistic overload. Somebody's confused the American flag with patriotism." Zero Cochrane (Ghost Rider 2099) inside the Iron Patriot armor software, Timestorm 2009-2099 #4.

Now, here's the column for comics released on 08/26; some books I haven't received yet (Wednesday Comics, in particular, the last issue I received was #6), so those will come when I read them. In fact, Zorro #15, dissected here, is from the week before, and the aforementioned Wednesday Comics #6 is from weeks ago. As is customary these past few weeks, JohnnyDoe cracked the DT! again; he noticed that Claremont gave a diesel locomotive a furnace and the need for someone shoveling coal into it. He's found some other stuff too... see below... Badge for you, man.

Let's get on with the Dissector's Picks Of The Week, shall we? Best Book Of the Week goes to The Last Days Of Animal Man #4; as usual, Gerry Conway manages to write Animal Man perfectly; with Chris Batista's art being the perfect complement to his writing. Add a Brian Bolland cover, and it's a great book, solid. A mention goes to the newest Marvel/Soleil offering, Spin Angels, first issue out of three; an interesting tale about Catholic Church agents facing Templars and recovering early Christian relics to maintain the theological supremacy of the Church. I would have preferred it to bear the original title, Crossfire; but that's a minor matter. It has an interest plot, and a good blend of European comic book art (ligne claire, in particular) and manga styling; along with a dash of American comics... not as good a blend as Gipsy, as sometimes the manga elements overpower the other elements, and it distracts a bit from the story.

Worst Book Of The Week, and I'll keep it short, was Skrull Kill Krew #4. The art is sloppy, the plot is boring; the book is going nowhere... well, it's going to the last issue, next one.
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"I GOT A DYEJOB IN PRISON."

TITLE: Avengers: The Initiative (Marvel).

ISSUE: 27.

CULPRIT: Edgar Delgado (colorist).

DISSECTION: Hardball's hair is colored brown, when he's got blond hair.

DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
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"OH MY, SUCH TERRIBLE COMPLEXION!"

TITLE: Batman: The Widening Gyre (DC).

ISSUE: 01 of 06

CULPRIT: Kevin Smith (writer).

DISSECTION: It's good to read another Batman book by Kevin Smith, he's better suited for this kind of extemporal miniseries or one-shots. However, he claims that Waylon Jones, aka Killer Croc, is the way he is because he suffers from epidermodysplasia verruciformis, which makes him highly susceptible to human papillomavirus (which he also spells incorrectly as "papilloma virus"). First of all, it's been established in comics that Killer Croc suffers from a sort of genetic disease that gives him atavistic characteristics, essentially de-evolving him into a reptilian humanoid. Second, HPV could not give him the appearance and physical attributes of a crocodile.

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. Blüdhaven is spelled "Bludhaven" once; and artist Walt Flanagan overdoes the artistic license of drawing long bat-ears on Batman's cowl, when he makes them as long as Batman's head itself.
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"WHO'S THAT GIRL? QUIEN ES ESA NIÑA?"

TITLE: Dark Avengers (Marvel).

ISSUE: 08.

CULPRIT: Luke Ross (penciller).

DISSECTION: Look at the image below; I was reading through this issue and I spot that blonde girl with elf ears at Graymalkin's (well, Utopia now) control center:


Who is she supposed to be? I knew it wasn't Magik, because she's never had pointy ears, not even while she's all Darkchylde-y. It couldn't be Pixie, because she's in the next page (see above) with totally different hair (purple and wavy, as it should be), and while Luke Ross's art is weak in this issue, he's consistent. Or so I thought. So I asked on my Facebook for help, and a very enlightening discussion followed. Yog proposed it was a random person; but that wasn't possible, not on the X-Men's control room.

Korath suggested it could be Ariel, because she has teleportation powers, like Pixie and Nightcrawler, and are needed for the plan to work. But she's never had pointy ears, and she looks like this nowadays.

Mitch, via Nysie (High Admiral Nysie of the HDSC, to all of you) suggested it could be Meggan Braddock; and while it sure looks like her, she just got back to Captain Britain over in his own book, and they would have made a great fuss about her being in San Francisco (particularly her old teammates Colossus and Nightcrawler, particularly the latter).

Then Korath pointed out that Megan (Megan Gwynn, aka Pixie) has been wearing a headband in Uncanny X-Men, and that her normally pink hair looks blonde in the pinkish purple lighting. I countered that while Megan was wearing a headband in UXM #514; that doesn't mean someone else could have put one on. If it's Pixie, then Luke Ross fubarued BIG TIME, because in the next page, her hair and facial features look COMPLETELY different, she has no freckles, her ears are shaped differently, and she's not wearing a headband (see the above image again).

That's mystery girl on the left, and Pixie on the other two images. On the first one, her face is different, the freckles (an important feature on Pixie's face since she was first introduced) are missing, there's no headband on the ones we know it's her, and while the last two images don't have a completley consistent shape between them, they're definitely different from the one on mystery girl (mystery girl has an inward curve in the upward left backside of her ear, Pixie's ear is reversed). So, if that girl in the control room is supposed to be Pixie, Luke Ross did a poor job of portraying her. Oh, one more thing... the girl in the control room is wearing an earring. Next page, Pixie is not.

I kept researching. and scoured the "198" profiles, but couldn't find someone with elven ears that might be there plausibly; which makes me conclude that Luke Ross meant to draw Pixie in that scene, and screwed up. Badges for Yog, Korath, Mitch and Nysie for contributing with my research.

DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars. Ross also draws Nightcrawler with long hair; when he has it reasonably short, and Dean White gives Namor brown eyes, when he has blue-grey eyes. All in all, a great issue, though.
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"NOTHING LEFT TO SAI."

TITLE: Dark Reign: Elektra (Marvel).

ISSUE: 05 of 05.

CULPRIT: Clay Mann (penciller).

DISSECTION: The sai grip was perfect on the cover... but not inside. Now, did we need a five-issue mini for this story? Wouldn't an oversized one-shot sufficed?

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
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"PANCHO IBANEZ."

TITLE: Dark Reign: The Sinister Spider-Man (Marvel).

ISSUE: 03 of 04.

CULPRIT: Brian Reed (writer).

DISSECTION: "Ibanez", the last name of what seems to be NYPD's Chief should be "Ibáñez". "Ibanez" doesn't exist.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
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"ACCENTUATING THE BEGINING."

TITLE: Dark X-Men: The Beginning (Marvel).

ISSUE: 03 of 03.

CULPRIT: Rob Steen (letterer).

DISSECTION: Two accented letters are smaller than they should be.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars each.
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"STREAK ONE."

TITLE: The Dissector (Studio Robota).

ISSUE: 130.

CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).

DISSECTION: JohnnyDoe noticed (get off my back!!!) that when I corrected myself about his spotting the error with Streaky's gender; I said "Krypto" instead of "Streaky". Another badge for you. Do you ever sleep?

DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars. I also numbered the last column as #131, when it was #130.
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"RIDDLE ME THIS: WHAT CONTACTS BRAND DOES HE USE?"

TITLE: Gotham City Sirens 03 (DC).

ISSUE: 03.

CULPRIT: Guillem March (colorist).

DISSECTION: The Riddler's eyes are colored brown, when they should be blue.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
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"SINESTROPTICALS."

TITLE: Green Lantern V4 (DC).

ISSUE: 45.

CULPRIT: Randy Mayor (colorist).

DISSECTION: Sinestro's eyes are colored yellow and black, when they should be regular black eyes.

DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
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"DIACRITICAL MASS."

TITLE: Herogasm (Dynamite).

ISSUE: 04 of 06.

CULPRIT: Simon Bowland (letterer).

DISSECTION: A letter with a diacritic is smaller than it should be.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
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"RED HULK PUNY!"

TITLE: Hulk V3 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 14.

CULPRIT: Jeph Loeb (writer).

DISSECTION: Uh... are we really meant to believe that the Punisher can shoot some bullets and stab the red Hulk with a knife and make him bleed? I don't care what ordnance he's carrying, I don't buy that.

DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars. Also, Loeb, S.H.I.E.L.D. was not the USA's central intelligence agency. For one, that's the CIA, second, S.H.I.E.L.D. was a UN agency. There's also a small accented letter, courtesy of letterer Richard Starkings.
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"BOOTY CAP."

TITLE: The Incredible Hulk V1 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 601.

CULPRIT: Ariel Olivetti (artist).

DISSECTION: Great issue by Pak and Olivetti, certainly. Pak reminds us that Bruce Banner is a bona fide genius; and Olivetti's style recovers some plasticity, as opposed to the stiff figures he drew in Cable. There are a few writing and coloring mistakes in this issue; in particular Bucky Cap's boots are wrong.

DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
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"JUSTICE SOCIETY OF DISSECTION."

TITLE: Justice Society Of America V3 (DC).

ISSUE: 30.

CULPRIT: Jesús Merino (artist).

DISSECTION: See if you can spot this one:


DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. Also, Flash's boots are wrong.
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"THE INQUISITION... WHAT A SHOW!"

TITLE: Madame Xanadu (DC/Vertigo).

ISSUE: 14.

CULPRIT: Matt Wagner (writer).

DISSECTION: "The Inquisition" o "La Inquisición", but not "La Inquisition". Please. Also "pureza de sangre", not "limpieza de sangre".

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars each.
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"BLUE MOONSTAR."

TITLE: New Mutants V3 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 04.

CULPRIT: John Rauch (colorist).

DISSECTION: Dani Moonstar's eyes are colored blue, when her eyes are brown.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars. Come on, this is a Native American you're coloring, can't you apply a bit of common sense?
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"JIMMY OLSEN'S BLUES."

TITLE: Superman's Pal Jimmy Olsen Special (DC).

ISSUE: 02.

CULPRIT: James Robinson (writer).

DISSECTION: Natasha Irons tells Jimmy Olsen she can't be there (River City), but Jimmy asks "Metropolis?", when he's made it very clear that he's traveled quite a bit to get to River City.

DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
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"STATUTORY STATUES."

TITLE: Teen Titans V3 (DC).

ISSUE: 74.

CULPRIT: Joe Bennett (penciller).

DISSECTION: Out front of Titans Tower (East Coast), you can see Superboy's statue before he comes back and destroys it... only the base of the statue is wrong, the statue is horizontally inverted, and Kid Flash's is either not there, or too far away. I'm willing to consider all of this just one dissection.

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
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"UNITED... NOTHING OF NOTHING?"

TITLE: The Red Circle: The Shield (DC).

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: Scott McDaniel (penciller).

DISSECTION: An emblem on the floor of a government facility says "UNITED..." and part of the rest is obscured by another panel... but there's no space for a proper name, such as "UNITED STATES DEPARTMENT OF DEFENSE" or something like that.

DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
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"ESCARABAJAZÚ!"

TITLE: Wednesday Comics (DC).

ISSUE: 06 of 12.

CULPRIT: Eddie Berganza (writer).

DISSECTION: A story page narrated by Blue Beetle, of course, it's going to have bullshit Spanish. Apart from some awkward sentences, he writes the word "qué" as "qúe" twice.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars. At least letterer Nick J. Napolitano makes the accented letters the right size.
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"BOLT OF LIGHT."

TITLE: Wonder Woman V3 (DC).

ISSUE: 35.

CULPRIT: Gail Simone (writer) and/or Aaron Lopresti (penciller).

DISSECTION: Bolt I is shown attacking Black Canary, and he's dead.

DISSECT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars. Yes, it could be a new guy in his costume.
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"FOREVER ACCENTED."

TITLE: X-Men Forever V2 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 06.

CULPRIT: Tom Orzechowski (letterer).

DISSECTION: Two accented letters are smaller than they should be.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars each.
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"EL ZORRO ES MUCHO MACHO! YES, HE'S VERY MASCLEIN!"

TITLE: Zorro (Dynamite).

ISSUE: 15.

CULPRIT: Matt Wagner (writer).

DISSECTION: With all due respect, Mr. Wagner, I've said it once, and I'll say it again, and again: Zorro is a very enjoyable book, but you're detracting from the enjoyment with all the bullshit Spanish. Shall I go down the list for this issue? A servant would not say "perdóname" to the governor of California, he'd say "perdóneme". It's "buenas" noches, not "buenos" noches. It's "Vicente", not "Vincente". It's "Ángeles", "Señores", "Papá", and "Pérez" (MY OWN BLOODY LAST NAME), not "Angeles", "Señors", "Papa" (which means potato or Pope instead of dad), and "Perez". People don't say "Olé!" when they toast at dinner...

And now you're mangling up English again? "Captial", "noctrnal", and "propasal"? Come on, one proof read by someone who speaks both languages moderately well would be enough to STOP RUINING THIS BOOK!!! Also, I can't consider this a dissection, but if you insist in using random bits of Spanish, why do you refer to the Spanish monarch as Charles IV, instead of Carlos IV?

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars each. The bullshit Spanish dissections are getting a markup!!! And please, please, PLEASE teach Simon Bowland that ACCENTED LETTERS AND THE LETTER Ñ ARE NOT SMALLER THAN THE RESTS OF THE LETTERS IN THE SAME SENTENCE!!! Total: 36 dissections in one issue. Most dissected letterer, writer, company, and book of the year will not be a surprise at the next Autopsy Awards...
<-------------------------------->
This columns ends up with a 6.8 Bazzars average on seventy-five dissections. Pretty high; I say. Oh, while I was writing this column I friended Simon Bowland on Facebook... I made sure to compliment him on all the lettering he does (he single-handedly letters Dynamite's books, and he also works for Marvel, Dark Horse and Image)... then proceeded to ask if I could make him a suggestion... I hope he doesn't mind... honestly, it's with a great deal of respect for his work, I want to see him do an even better job.

It's time for the Best Cover Of The Week, and it's a tie. One from this week, and another a back-issue. The current cover is the alternate cover for Flash: Rebirth #4, a striking piece by Ethan Van Sciver (happy birthday, BTW, Ethan). The old cover is from Knights Of The Dinner Table #138, the Gary Gygax tribute issue. Every time we sit down to game, we're playing with Gary...


Now, it's Moments Of The Week time! First up, from Flash: Rebirth, Flash Facts:


Don't you mess with the Flashes, or Daddy Flash will pimp slap yo' ass!!! Then, what's Ed Benes the best at?


Drawing Starfire's ass, of course!!! Then, who can't the Black Lanterns reanimate?


Of course!!! Now, the obvious happens within the Dark X-Men's ranks:


Obvious, but not less amusing! And then, Utopia:


Way cool. Then, inside Namor's head...


Legal action. Yup. Now, from The Boys: Herogasm:


Secret Service sure sounds like a great job! Incredible Hercules brings...


Another mention, albeit indirect, of moi! Then, Greg Pak writes a great Bruce Banner:


Pwnd! Smart pwnd! Now, people shouldn't make Norman angry:


Those guys are in for a WORLD of hurt once Norman gets the upper hand back... And to finish, if I ever run a space police force, I want my base planet like this:


With facial hair! That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...

THE DISSECTOR!

The Dissector #118.

DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)

[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]

"Yuri is greatest hero of the Revolution and shit. Anyone who argues other the wise can eat asshole biscuits in Hell." Yuri, Ignition City #3.

This is the story of the continuing efforts of a man to catch up with his col... wait, I'm already caught up? Well, to quote the (not so) great Kitster Chanchani Banai "THAT IS SO WIZARD!" So, let's get on with the column for the week of 05/28; the DT! for the last column was cracked by, surprise, Snakebyte, who correctly pointed out that Blüdhaven was lacking the umlaut. You can't be hardcöre without an umlaut.

Let's move on to The Dissector's Picks Of The Week. Best Book Of The Week was, once more, Amazing Spider-Man #595; it has all we need: good art, great characterization, Peter worrying about his loved ones and being frustrated at not being able to take down Norman, and of course, Norman being a manipulative motherfucker, which is much better than just "ha-ha-ha-ha I'm crazy batshit Green Goblin!!!" You want an example of Norman's Palpatinic manipulations? Check out the Moments Of The Week at the end of this column. Oh, and by the way, how does Andy Lanning co-write about half a dozen books a month with Dan Abnett and still have time to ink this book (among others)?

Close second for Best Book Of The Week was the first issue of The Last Days Of Animal Man, but while the issue was good, it just lacked the awesomeness it required for Best Book. Still, a solid read with good writing by experienced pro Gerry Conway and nice art by Chris Batista. Read it.

Worst Book Of The Week was, unsurprisingly, Trinity #52... the only good thing about it is that it was the last issue. Kurt Busiek's and Fabian Nicieza's drawn out, weak, unimaginative plot, which could have been told in two or three issues, finally comes to a rest. How? Well, with a tying up of loose ends and a party at the Keystone Coffee Pier where both heroes and villains can chillax and have a drink, because, of course, since reality is re-arranging itself, nobody will remember secret identities that they shouldn't know. What?

Top that with four different artists, Mark Bagley, Mike Norton, Tom Derenick, and Scott McDaniel, who give the final issue a disjointed look. At best, the art is mediocre, and at worst, it's... well, this:


Eww.... Now, there was one good thing to come out of Trinity: Primat. Girly gorilla? Sold! Wait, no... I'm not a furry!!!


See, she's just fun and cute! You can't see it in that picture, but she's wearing pigtails! Okay, okay. Dissections...
<-------------------------------->
"WORLD WAR II OF FAKE LANGUAGES!"

TITLE: Airboy - 1942: Best Of Enemies (Moonstone).

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: Chuck Dixon (writer).

DISSECTION: Ah, some nice WWII fun, with a good mixture of modern and retro art. Unfortunately, there are some errors; the German is mostly wrong (thanks to Dominik for that), as well as most of the Russian; thanks to Rodiath and his mother for checking the Russian language. Badges for all of them!

In particular, I wanted to highlight a scene in which Soviet mechanics talk in English, but inside brackets, meaning its translated from Russian or some other local language; but it's still written in "bad English", such as "Is no good."

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. Also, having two artists in the book should make the editors mindful of having them follow the same character designs; Airboy gets a haircut between pages.
<-------------------------------->
"DANGER! WOLVERINE IMPOSTOR! WATCH OUT, SPIDEY!"

TITLE: The Amazing Spider-Man V1 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 595.

CULPRIT: Chris Chuckry (colorist).

DISSECTION: Now, is it so hard to remember that Wolverine has blue eyes?

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"YOU'RE THE FIRST, THE BEST, THE ONLY PANTHER!"

TITLE: Avengers/Invaders (Marvel).

ISSUE: 11 of 12.

CULPRIT: Tom Brennan (assistant editor) and/or Stephen Wacker (editor).

DISSECTION: The Avengers and the Invaders are fighting alongside the Black Panther from the period; perhaps T'Chaka, although he shouldn't be alive then; whoever it is, it's certainly not "the original Black Panther" as the recap calls him.

DISSECT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars. Also, why is the word "original" written with a capital "o"? And there's some bad German too (badge for Dominik), not to mention...
<-------------------------------->
"INVADING THIS AVENGING DISSECTION."

TITLE: Avengers/Invaders (Marvel).

ISSUE: 11 of 12.

CULPRIT: Steve Sadowski & Patrick Berkentotter (artists), maybe even Tom Mason (colorist).

DISSECTION: Catch this one, it's pretty simple.


DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"BATMAN IN BARCELÖNA."

TITLE: Batman In Barcelona: Dragon's Knight (DC).

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: Steve Wands (letterer).

DISSECTION: Now, this issue is a bag of lame; while it's not bad, it's filler crap at its best. Writer Mark Waid puts in a few unbelievable ideas, such as Batman not being recognized outside of Gotham (Justice League, anyone?), or him not being able to sneak a utility belt through customs (he built Brother Eye, he has access to alien tech, and the best tech humanity has to offer); and there's a few Spanish language mistakes too.

However, what made me cringe were the accents on letters in Spanish or Catalá; I'm used by now (even if I hate it) to letterers making accented vowels smaller in languages like these, but Wands takes the cake here. Look at this couple of examples:


Not only are the accented letters about three quarters the size of the rest of the font (and almost half in some other cases), but also, he's made the accents as almost horizontal lines above the letters! Good God!!!

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"YES CAPTÄIN!"

TITLE: Battlefields: The Tankies (Dynamite).

ISSUE: 02 of 03.

CULPRIT: Garth Ennis (writer).

DISSECTION: An officer of the SS is given (in a German dialogue) the rank of "Sturmbanfuhrer", when the rank should actually be "Sturmbannführer". Incidentally, this is the SS rank equivalent to a Wehrmacht (army) Major, and it translates as "Storm Unit Leader".

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"NOT HOLDING IT CORRECTLY, PER SAI."

TITLE: Dark Reign: Elektra (Marvel).

ISSUE: 03 of 05.

CULPRIT: Lee Bermejo (cover artist).

DISSECTION: Bermejo again has Elektra grip her sai on the cover incorrectly.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"THE SNAKE AND THE DOE BYTE."

TITLE: The Dissector (Studio Robota).

ISSUE: 117.

CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).

DISSECTION: Of course, Snakebyte finds dissections in my dissections. I had one typo that made a sentence sound weird; and most importantly, I credited Chris Claremont with creating Cecilia Reyes, when it was Scott Lobdell. Two badges for Snake.

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. One badge for JohnnyDoe too, for finding that I had an extra "it" in the Cecilia Reyes dissection.
<-------------------------------->
"HE'S A STREET LEVEL KIND OF GUY."

TITLE: Gotham Gazette: Batman Alive (DC).

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: Alex Konat & Mark McKenna (artists for the Harvey Bullock story).

DISSECTION: I doubt Commissioner Gordon's office is street level? Also, not a dissection, but using a year (2009) for the dates in newspapers and such is not a great idea in a superhero comic with sliding timelines.

DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"BLACK LANTERN."

TITLE: Green Lantern V4 (DC).

ISSUE: 41.

CULPRIT: Hi-Fi & Rod Reis (colorists).

DISSECTION: The circle of the emblem on Hal and John's costumes should be white, not black.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars. Thanks to Kal for noticing this, badge for him.
<-------------------------------->
"INCREDIBLE ACCENTS."

TITLE: Incredible Hercules (Marvel).

ISSUE: 129.

CULPRIT: Simon Bowland (letterer).

DISSECTION: Bowland, as usual, makes accented letters smaller, including those in the name of colorist Raúl Treviño. And I actually noticed these two when I was looking at the credits to see who the letterer was.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars for each.
<-------------------------------->
"BLACK LANTERN RAGE!!!"

TITLE: Justice League Of America V2 (DC).

ISSUE: 33.

CULPRIT: Rags Morales (penciller).

DISSECTION: Ugh, I don't know if Rags Morales is just not putting any effort to these issues, or if the inker and colorists are destroying his art.

In any case, why the hell is John Stewart holding up his fist in "BLACK RAGE!" style to provide light with his ring? He can create a globe that floats with him, or light that spreads from his ring without him having to carry his fist like a torch...

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars. Also, Vixen's incredibly large hand is big enough to cover John Stewart's chest emblem, apparently.
<-------------------------------->
"MADAMA SHANADU."

TITLE: Madame Xanadu (DC/Vertigo).

ISSUE: 11.

CULPRIT: Matt Wagner (writer).

DISSECTION: As with Zorro, I'm enjoying this book by Wagner, but same as the aforementioned comic, this particular issue has several non-English language mistakes, all in Spanish, except for one in Latin.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars for each. At least letterer Jared K. Fletcher can get accented letters right.
<-------------------------------->
"OKAY, SOMEONE IN WAKANDA JUST FARTED!"

TITLE: New Avengers (Marvel).

ISSUE: 53.

CULPRIT: Brian Michael Bendis (writer).

DISSECTION: Brian, are we really supposed to believe that Wolverine's sense of smell is so good he can specify that a person is four blocks away, in the middle of a city, with brimstoney explosions

DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars. Methinks this is an exaggeration.
<-------------------------------->
"NORTHALNDERS."

TITLE: Northlanders (DC/Vertigo).

ISSUE: 17.

CULPRIT: Brian Wood (writer).

DISSECTION: "Relfexes" instead of "reflexes".

DISSECT-O-METER: 1 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"OUT OF YOUR WORLDMIND."

TITLE: Nova V4 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 25.

CULPRIT: Dan Abnett & Andy Lanning (writer).

DISSECTION: Ego/Worldmind says "Xanadarian" instead of "Xandarian".

DISSECT-O-METER: 2 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"DRAW HER ANY YOUNGER, AND SHE'LL BE A CRAWLAWAY..."

TITLE: Runaways V3 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 10.

CULPRIT: Sara Pichelli (artist, "Mollifest Destiny").

DISSECTION: For the Nth time... Molly Hayes is not a midget, she's not five, she's a thirteen-year-old girl, who is NOT half as tall as Wolverine. Pichelli also draws her with short arms and facial features belonging to five-year-old kids...

DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars. Also, Klara, although she's probably smaller than a modern pre-teen, due to her background, should not be as small as she's drawn, and should not change sizes between panels. Last, I thought Christina Strain had colored Molly's eyes incorrectly, but she confirmed that her eyes are indeed green. However (I'm sorry, CeeCee), she did color Klara's way too light in the first story.
<-------------------------------->
"LIGHT IN YOUR EYES."

TITLE: Superman V1 (DC).

ISSUE: 688.

CULPRIT: David Curiel (colorist).

DISSECTION: Dr. Light (Hoshi Kimiyo) has black eyes, but here they're colored brown.

DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"RINGING ALAN SCOTT."

TITLE: Trinity (DC).

ISSUE: 52.

CULPRIT: Tom Derenick (penciller).

DISSECTION: Alan Scott's ring doesn't look like it should.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars. Also, Vixen's costume is again colored brown.
<-------------------------------->
"SCALPED?"

TITLE: War Machine V2 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 06.

CULPRIT: Greg Pak.

DISSECTION: War Machine, wanted under the Superhuman Registration Act, and whatever laws have put Norman Osborn in charge of H.A.M.M.E.R. and all that jazz, takes refuge in an Indian reservation; and apparently, he'll be safe inside the "rez", under tribal law. Uhm, no. Tribal law applies to everyday stuff, but someone who breaks Federal law is persecuted even inside reservation borders. If you have any questions, just ask my new to-go-guy for Tribal Law, Charles S. Aspinwall, Attorney At Law, Cowboy Of Regulations


And he kind of looks like my dad, but in a Cowboy Parallel Universe version!!!!! First my dad looks like a Sinestro Corps Member, then he looks like a Starfleet engineer... and now a Cowboy Lawyer!!! At least they share a profession (lawyer, not cowboy).

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. I had a dissection similar to this one, which only got 8 Bazzars, but this time around it's not about a tribal citizen avoiding charges for not being registered; but rather a fugitive fleeing Federal authorities by running into a reservation. Federal authorities (and particularly H.A.M.M.E.R.) would not stop at the "rez" border. Just ask Chuck Aspinwall.

On another note, I'd like to congratulate my dad for being named judge for the Inter-American Court of Human Rights. He's one of Uruguay's (and the Americas') top lawyers, a great teacher, father, and excellent person, and I'm very proud of him. He'll be rocking one of these snazzy robes, yet no wig. I think I'll get him a Green Lantern emblem so I can pretend he's a Guardian Of The Universe. CONGRATULATIONS DAD!!!
<-------------------------------->
"LE ACCENT, MA PETIT."

TITLE: X-Men: Legacy (Marvel).

ISSUE: 224.

CULPRIT: Cory Petit (letterer).

DISSECTION: The accents in Gambit's French make the accented letters smaller, three times.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
Well, a heap of dissections for this week, seventy-two, with an average of 6.6 Bazzars. Nice. Now, the Moments Of The Week, so I can put this column to bed. First up, Battlefields is good (well, except for Dear Billy), but Tankies is the best so far... look at this:


A chap in your tracks!!! Damn, that's priceless and I love it! Next, Norman Osborn's manipulations at its best:


So, Harry's (Goblin serum injected) girl has a (goblin serum fucked up) bun in her oven, courtesy of Harry... or Norman? Both of them with goblin serum in them, I bet! And finally:


Yes, finally! Gambit and Rogue finally, after around fifteen years, What they could have done with an inhibitor collar, or a five-buck bribe to Leech! That's it for now, until next week, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...

THE DISSECTOR!

The Nitpicker #24-END OF 52 SPECIAL.

DISCLAIMER

[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]

Well, here's the end of 52 special; only a week later after 52 #52 came out. You'll find nits that have already been featured in the column, back before it was in the form of this blog, but after a certain point, I decided to save all 52 nits for a special... this special! You can see how, up to week 34 (the first nits written up especially for this installment), I give less Bazzars than you'd expect me to... that only goes to show how I grow less and less intolerant month after month!

Enough chatter, on with the nits!
<-------------------------------->
"I'M FROM THE FUTURE! I KNOW EVERYTHING! SAY... WHO'S THAT GUY WITH THE GLASSES? HE KINDA LOOKS LIKE SUPERMAN!"

TITLE: 52.

ISSUE: Week 1 of 52.

CULPRIT: Geoff Johns, Grant Morrison, Greg Rucka & Mark Waid (writers, henceforth known as The Writing Team).

NIT-TO-PICK: Wonderful start for 52, I've been eagerly awaiting for this book to start, not only because it will tell you what happened during the past year in the DCU, but because one of the main stars is The Question, and he's one of my favorite characters.

But alas, there had to be a nit, even if I have to grasp at straws to find it. In page 21, when Booster Gold goes haywire, he punches somebody while he's struggling and Martian Manhunter and Green Lantern (Hal Jordan) are trying to restrain him (BTW, I know Booster's armor is from the future, but really, can't J'onn and Hal restrain him?).

In the next panel we see that who he hit is Clark Kent, who is bleeding from his nose, meaning that the loss of powers he suffered during this year was already in effect this early into the year. When Booster punches him, Clark says from off-panel, that Superman, Batman and Wonder Woman are not coming; and in the following panel, Booster looks straight at him and asks him "How the hell do YOU know?"

I'd wager that Booster, after his time with the JLA, probably knew Supes' secret ID... even if he didn't, he has detailed historical records from the 25th Century, and he stresses that several times... even if they were wrong because of the Infinite Crisis, the little tidbit about Clark's ID should be there. But then again, he could be so out of his mind with the shock of his records being wrong that he doesn't recognize Clark.

NIT-O-METER: Can't give this more than a 2, since it's very easy to explain as I said above, with Booster is not thinking straight at the moment.
<-------------------------------->
DOPPERGANGLINESS IS IN THE EYE OF THE BEHOLDER."

TITLE: 52.

ISSUE: Week 3 of 52.

CULPRIT: The Writing Team, but I think this particular scene is the handiwork of Geoff Johns.

NIT-TO-PICK: In page 16, when the scientists at Star Labs and John Henry Irons (aka Steel) find out that the Lex Luthor corpse they have is not "our" Lex, but Alexander Luthor, from Earth 3... Are you really telling me that the only way to find out when somebody is from an alternate reality than by his eye color? Something like the vibrational frequency of the body's matter?

I mean, I bet Alex Luthor could change his vibrational frequency... couldn't he change his eye color as well?

NIT-O-METER: Just a small nit, 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
IT'S IN HIS EYES, THAT'S WHERE IT IS!"

TITLE: 52.

ISSUE: Week 9 of 52.

CULPRIT: Shawn Moll (penciller), and/or David Baron (colorist).

NIT-TO-PICK: Page 14, first panel, Adam Strange clearly has eyes, even if they're white, and none of the scarring around where his eyes used to be.

NIT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars, big but not important, this nit was even admitted by Stephen Wacker (editor of 52 at the time) on Newsarama.
<-------------------------------->
"EYE SEE YOU!"

TITLE: 52.

ISSUE: Week 9 of 52.

CULPRIT: Shawn Moll (penciller).

NIT-TO-PICK: Alright, this is one of my pet peeves... mostly because it's one of my favorite characters. On page 21, panel one, The Question's mask has eyes... IT DOES NOT HAVE EYES. THE WHOLE POINT OF THE MASK IS THAT HE LOOKS FACELESS!!!

NIT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"OH, I'VE BEEN EXCERCISING, THANKS FOR NOTICING."

TITLE: 52.

ISSUE: Week 11 of 52.

CULPRIT: Keith Giffen (breakdowns) and Joe Bennett (penciller for this particular subplot).

NIT-TO-PICK: On page 11 (and on the rest of the book), Charlie (aka The Question) looks too big, too beefed up; he looks more like Batman or Superman. The body type is wrong, Question is fit; muscular, but not broad shouldered as they've drawn it here.

NIT-O-METER: Just 3 Bazzars, can't give it more.
<-------------------------------->
"IT JUST GREW BACK."

TITLE: 52.

ISSUE: Week 11.

CULPRIT: Dan Jurgens (layouts) and/or Andy Lanning (finishes).

NIT-TO-PICK: In the History of the DCU section, namely in page 25 of the book, panel 5, we have a reproduction of a section of the scene from Infinite Crisis 7 where Wonder Girl mourns the death of Superboy... and we got ourselves a DOUBLE NIT!!!! I'm not going to bitch about the tears in the costumes or the poses not matching the original art (because they don't), but there's two things that do bother me. The first one, and the subject of this particular nit? Well, Superboy (Kon-El) lost his right hand in the battle against Superboy Prime, and in Infinite Crisis 7 you can clearly see it was cut-off at the wrist, even leaving what appears to be a "closed" stump... but in this recreation of that scene, even though the panel border cuts it off, you can see the beginning of his right hand, specifically his thumb joint.

NIT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"WHILE IT GREW BACK, I HAD TIME TO CHANGE CLOTHES."

TITLE: 52.

ISSUE: Week 11 of 52.

CULPRIT: Jeromy Cox & Guy Major (colorists).

NIT-TO-PICK: Aaaaaaaaaaaaand the second part of this double nit is brought to us by two of our favorite colorists. Who can forget Jeromy Cox, who gave us such classics as "THE INCREDIBLE COLOR CHANGING CAPE" (I'm going to milk this one forever, am I not?) and "GREEN LANTERN GLOVES, THEY COME AND GO...". And nobody will fail to remember Guy Major... well, yes, I think he's only appeared here once, and for something minor.

So, what did they do? Simple, they colored Wonder Girls pants blue, instead of red... they might have been thinking of the jeans she wears OYL... tsk, tsk, tsk...

NIT-O-METER: Just 5 Bazzars, can't go higher with this one.
<-------------------------------->
"I JUST HAD TO SAY IT AGAIN."

TITLE: 52.

ISSUE: Week 12 of 52.

CULPRIT: Travis Lanham (letterer).

NIT-TO-PICK: On page 7, the last dialogue by Adrianna Tomaz (soon to be Isis) on panel 1 is repeated as her first dialogue in panel 2.

NIT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars, it's a stupid error, but hardly major.
<-------------------------------->
"I SHUST DONT KNOW HOW, TO WRITE THIS SENTENCE."

TITLE: 52.

ISSUE: Week 13 of 52.

CULPRIT: Nick J. Napolitano (letterer) and/or (but not very likely) The Writing Team.

NIT-TO-PICK: On page 9, panel 1, Green Lantern (Hal Jordan) says to Ralph Dibny (aka Elongated Man) "You wanted friends here (...) you're afraid you've cofused desperation, for judgment." Wow, that's three nits in one sentence! First, and most obvious, the word is not "cofused", but "confused", second, between "you're afraid" and "you've cofused", there should be a comma, which, third, appears in "desperation, for judgment", where there should be none. The correct sentence would have been "(...) you're afraid, you've confused desperation for judgment."

NIT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars, even if it's big, it doesn't make the dialogue impossible to understand. Just because you're the letterer doesn't mean you get to screw up.
<-------------------------------->
"GOTHAM CITY, CITY STATE?"

TITLE: 52.

ISSUE: Week 14 of 52.

CULPRIT: Travis Lanham (letterer) and/or The Writing Team, Greg Rucka being the writer most likely in charge of this scene.

NIT-TO-PICK: When Renee Montoya's passport is stamped in Khandaq (page 2, panel 8), it reads "U.S. Embassy, Gotham City, United States"... wtf? I thought Gotham went back to being part of the USA after the No Man's Land. Since when countries have embassies in their own cities?

NIT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars, big mistake, but not story-affecting.
<-------------------------------->
"ALL THESE INJUNS ARE THE SAME TO ME"

TITLE: 52.

ISSUE: Week 22 of 52.

CULPRIT: The Writing Team.

NIT-TO-PICK: This is an old one, and one I found out thanks to 52 Pickup, a wonderful fellow blog that picks apart 52 on a, what less, weekly basis.

This issue has the appearance of the new "Super Chief", who gets his power from a "Manitou Stone. "Manitou" is a word used by the Algonquin speaking peoples of New England to mean 'spirit,' as in having spiritual power. Thing is, the legend of the first "Super Chief", states that he was "A great noble of the Iroquois nation". An Iroquois wouldn't have called on "manitou, the great spirit in things"; he'd have called it "orenda."

NIT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars, a little research, particularly on cultural issues such as this one, doesn't hurt.
<-------------------------------->
"THEY CHARGED BY THE CANDLE..."

(NOTE: This nit, and another one further down originally contained the word "Jew" in some instances, as I believed "Jew" and "Jewish" were the same when referring to a person. Apparently, it is, but some Jewish people take offense at the use of "Jew", due to its past use as part of racial slurs. I opted to change the wording as to not offend anybody.)

TITLE: 52.

ISSUE: Week 33 of 52.

CULPRIT: Keith Giffen (breakdowns) and Joe Prado & Tom Derenick (pencillers).

NIT-O-METER: It's the end of Hanukkah, and on page 10, we can see that at Renee Montoya's apartment, the Jewish festivity has been celebrated by herself, Aristotle Rodor, Vic Sage, and Katy Kane (aka Batwoman, who's the only Jewish person of the bunch). There's a menorah, the seven-armed candelabrum used by the Jewish people; problem is, on Hanukkah, they light a Hanukkia, which has 9 arms. Oh, there it is again, on page 13.

NIT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars, please research this kind of cultural/ethnic things.
<-------------------------------->
"I KEEP IN SHAPE!"

TITLE: 52.

ISSUE: Week 33 of 52.

CULPRIT: Joe Prado & Tom Derenick (pencillers).

NIT-TO-PICK: On pages 10 and 11, Vic Sage (aka The Question) is shown with his face emaciated due to cancer, gaunt, as if he's lost a lot of weight; which one of the symptoms of lung cancer; yet his pecs are looking as muscular as ever. His open shirt shows his chest muscles, which look athletic as he was before the disease kicked in... and as far as I know, if you lost enough weight as to make your face look quasi-skeletal, you're gonna lose muscular mass.

NIT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"I'M NOT REALLY HERE"

TITLE: 52.

ISSUE: Week 33 of 52.

CULPRIT: The Writing Team, and/or Keith Giffen (breakdowns) and/or Joe Prado & Tom Derenick (pencillers).

NIT-TO-PICK: On page 14, several scenes of DC heroes celebrating Christmas can be seen, and one of them is Green Arrow, with what are most likely Black Canary, Arsenal and Speedy in the background. Wait, isn't Green Arrow, along with most of his "family", supposed to have spent the 52 year in a remote island, training?

Incidentally, on the same page, Guy Gardner is seen creating a Santa-with-reindeers-and-sled, and a menorah with his ring, he's excused from knowing which candelabrum is the correct one, since he's not Jewish, and apparently doesn't have any friends that are. I do, and that's why I know the difference.

NIT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars, I guess they could have returned home for a few days to celebrate the holidays.
<-------------------------------->
"THE BATSIGNAL IS BROKEN, SO WE'RE USING SMOKE SIGNALS"

TITLE: 52.

ISSUE: Week 33 of 52.

CULPRIT: Keith Giffen (breakdowns) and/or Joe Prado & Tom Derenick (pencillers).

NIT-TO-PICK: On page 16, Jim Gordon is shown smoking a pipe. I thought he'd quit.

NIT-O-METER: 2 Bazzars, he might have started again.
<-------------------------------->
"ESSENTIAL... A MATTER OF SEMANTICS"

TITLE: 52.

ISSUE: Week 33 of 52 (backup origin story).

CULPRIT: Mark Waid (writer) or Michael Siglain (editor).

NIT-TO-PICK: At the end of the Martian Manhunter's origin story, an essential storylines list is given. Among them are two stories where J'onn only has small appearances, almost cameos: Formerly Known as the Justice League (which in fact has been largely ignored by DC's editorial, as if where out of continuity) and Countdown to Infinite Crisis.

There's other problems with this essential storylines list, mainly continuity issues stemming from the reboot to Earth-1 after Crisis on Infinite Earths, and the semi-reboot into New Earth after Infinite Crisis. A good analysis of these problems, and other issues with the Martian Manhunter's can be found on Everyday Is Like Wednesday, another damn fine comics blog.

NIT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"WHAT'S IN A NAME?"

TITLE: 52.

ISSUE: Week 33 of 52 (backup origin story).

CULPRIT: Mark Waid (writer) or Michael Siglain (editor).

NIT-TO-PICK: On the last page of the Martian Manhunter's origin story, specifically in the "Powers and Weapons" section, his name is misspelled as "Jonn", instead of "J'onn".

NIT-O-METER: 2 Bazzars, might be a typo, but it's still in something important like a name.
<-------------------------------->
"TIME IS BROKEN!"

TITLE: 52.

ISSUE: Week 34 of 52.

CULPRIT: And the first freshly-written nit of the bunch goes to.... The Writing Team and/or Travis Lanham (letterer).

NIT-TO-PICK: The opening fight scene, on the first page, opens with "Week 34, Day 1"; and two pages later, still the same scene, reads "Week 34, Day 3."

NIT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars, it confuses the hell out of you, since the chronology of this book is really important. I think Wacker admitted to this one as well.
<-------------------------------->
"DAMN HIPPIES! THEY'RE TOO LAZY TO USE TWO SEPARATE WORDS!"

TITLE: 52.

ISSUE: Week 34 of 52.

CULPRIT: The Writing Team and/or Travis Lanham (letterer).

NIT-TO-PICK: On page 6, the famous environmental organization is referred to as "Green Peace"; when their name is only one word, "Greenpeace".

NIT-O-METER: 2 Bazzars, because a little research wouldn't hurt. Even my word processor's spell check knows it's one word.
<-------------------------------->
"MR. MIRACLE TAUGHT US THIS TRICK!"

TITLE: 52.

ISSUE: Week 36 of 52.

CULPRIT: Chris Batista or Jack Jadson (pencillers).

NIT-TO-PICK: On the first panel of page 5, you can see that Animal Man and Starfire are wearing some sort of restraints, shackles on their wrists, and some sort of thick metal collar. You can also see Buddy's on panel 3. But then, from panel 4 (when they're mobbed by the Lady Styx's goons) on, they're clearly not wearing any restraints, not on their neck, not on their wrist. In that same panel, number 4, Animal Man asks Lobo to release them, but you don't see Lobo doing that.

NIT-O-METER: 2 Bazzars, I guess Lobo could have some sort of remote for the restraints, but it wouldn't have hurt showing how he activated it, or having Buddy ask him to release them one panel earlier.
<-------------------------------->
"I'M STILL KEEPING IN SHAPE."

TITLE: 52.

ISSUE: Week 36 of 52.

CULPRIT: Chris Batista or Jack Jadson (pencillers).

NIT-TO-PICK: Back when talking about Week 33, I commented on how gaunt Vic Sage, aka Charlie, aka The Question looked due to his lung cancer (now extended to other parts of his body), or at least, how his face looked emaciated, but the rest of his body was as buff as a healthy man's. Well, three weeks later, and he's supposed to be even worse; yet on page 12 his face and what little we can see of his body look normal.

NIT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars, it's getting worse, and not only Vic's health!
<-------------------------------->
"SORRY, I JSUT SLRUR WHEN I'M DRURRNK!"

TITLE: 52.

ISSUE: Week 37 of 52.

CULPRIT: The Writing Team (most likely Mark Waid or Geoff Johns) and/or Travis Lanham (letterer).

NIT-TO-PICK: What an issue! The Supernova reveal, he's Booster Gold, so Booster ain't dead! I loved this particular issue.... for that, and for learning that Animal Man had not really died. But there has to be some nits in this issue, right?

Well, on the first panel of page 18, Lobo says "partorl" instead of "patrol"; and I know he's talking in "tough guy speak", saying things like "figgered" or "stoopid" (a dialect made famous by Ben J. Grimm, aka The Thing, so much that I expected lobo to call Adam Strange "Stretcho"), but "partorl"?!?!??!

NIT-O-METER: 1 Bazzar.
<-------------------------------->
"GET RID OF THE BODY!"

TITLE: 52.

ISSUE: Week 37 of 52.

CULPRIT: The Writing Team (Grant Morrison, most likely).

NIT-TO-PICK: Well, are we supposed to believe that Adam Strange and Starfire would leave Animal Man there for there? What makes them experts in his physiology, in his powers, that they are 100% sure that he's really dead? But that's not the point here... or actually... .yes, it is. Both Adam Strange and Starfire are smarter than that.

NIT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING, YOU CRAZY BLIND MAN!"

TITLE: 52.

ISSUE: Week 37 of 52.

CULPRIT: The Writing Team and/or Travis Lanham (letterer).

NIT-TO-PICK: On page 19, panel 2, Adam Strange speaks as if he's replying to something Starfire just said.... but Starfire is silent, there's no speech balloon there or on the previous panel!

NIT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"I'VE BEEN WORKING OUT TOO!"

TITLE: 52.

ISSUE: Week 41 of 52.

CULPRIT: Giuseppe Camuncoli (penciller), and maybe also Rodney Ramos (inker) and Alex Sinclair (colorist).

NIT-TO-PICK: Apart from the fact that Aristotle "Tot" Rodor looks nothing like he used to (from frail old hippy to rugged Telly Savalas); why are his eyes lacking pupils on page 5, panel 5?

NIT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"WEAREATAPREMIUFORSPACE!"

TITLE: 52.

ISSUE: Week 46 of 52 (backup origin story).

CULPRIT: Mark Waid (writer) and/or Phil Balsman (letter), or perhaps Michael Siglain (editor) and/or Harvey Richards & Jeanine Schaefer (associate editors).

NIT-TO-PICK: Not really sure who writes the text on the little profile at the end of these origin stories; but on Batman's, on page 23 of this issue, the "Essential Storylines" section lists as its last item "Batman: The GreatestStories Ever Told".

NIT-O-METER: 1 Bazzar.
<-------------------------------->
"HELL, WHAT A FUN PLACE!"

TITLE: 52.

ISSUE: Week 41 of 52.

CULPRIT: The Writing Team (most likely Greg Rucka).

NIT-TO-PICK: On page 4, Renee Montoya says "(...) a place where sins are indulged with abandon. (...) Hell." Uh.... isn't Hell where sins are, you know, punished?!?!?!?!

NIT-O-METER: 2 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"I'M GOING FOR THE MARYLIN MONROE LOOK!"

TITLE: 52.

ISSUE: Week 49 of 52 (backup origin story).

CULPRIT: Alex Sinclair (colorist).

NIT-TO-PICK: I found these origin stories to be nicely done, but, for the most part, they didn't add anything to what we already know. It was hoped that they would give some insight as to how the DC Universe has changed after Infinite Crisis, but apart from the JLA's origin, not one story told us something new (perhaps there were other stories that did, but I can't remember them). We didn't even get a definitive (until the next retcon or reboot) Superman origin!!!

But in this case, on the second and last page of the JSA's origin (page 23 of the book), Power Girl's hair on the last panel is a very faint shade of platinum blond; almost white (you can only tell it's not actually white by comparing it at the white fabric of her costume). She's blonde, a regular blond shade that is usually the same as that of Alan Scott or Stargirl (and you can see that the two ladies share the same hair color, as they're depicted together in the first panel of the same page).

NIT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars. Liberty Belle (Jesse Chambers) also has the same hair color than Power Girl, Stargirl, and Green Lantern; maybe even a little bit darker... she's shown here in a platinum blond color one shade darker than Power Girl's wrongly colored hair, but I will let this one slide as due to lighting.
<-------------------------------->
"DON'T CALL ME THAT!"

TITLE: 52.

ISSUE: Week 49 of 52 (backup origin story).

CULPRIT: Mark Waid (writer) and/or Rob Leigh (letterer).

NIT-TO-PICK: On the last panel of page 23, still on the JSA origin story, the current (as of that issue of 52, more or less) lineup of the team is show, and Stargirl is incorrectly billed with her previous codename, Star-Spangled Kid. And why the hell is Obsidian smiling? Creepy!

NIT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"WHAT, ARE YOU TOLD FOR SUPERHERO NAMES?"

TITLE: 52.

ISSUE: Week 49 of 52 (backup origin story).

CULPRIT: Mark Waid (writer) and/or Rob Leigh (letterer).

NIT-TO-PICK: Same page and panel, if Starman (Thom Kallor), Hourman (Rick Tyler), Liberty Bell (Jesse Chambers), Mr. Terrific (Michael Holt). Dr. Midnite (Pieter Cross), and Sandman (Sanderson "Sandy" Hawkins), are all called by their codenames, even if they're not the first person to use that name (the whole JSA and the DC Universe in general is about legacy heroes); why then are Flash and Green Lantern billed as "Jay Garrick" and "Alan Scott".

NIT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars, if you don't know that there are several people called "Flash" and "Green Lantern", what are you doing reading 52? It's kind of insulting.
<-------------------------------->
"THIS HEADLINE IS A KLUE!""

TITLE: 52.

ISSUE: Week 52 of 52.

CULPRIT: Gee, good question. I really don't know who this could have been. It could have been The Writing Team, and/or any of the pencillers (although this particular poem definitely looks like Mike McKone's art), or it could have been Ken Lopez (letterer). I don't think it was Lopez, however, since it does look like part of the art. So I say it was The Writing Team and/or Mike McKone.

NIT-TO-PICK: So, 52 had to end with a nit, even if it's a very small one. On panel 3, where we're shown Earth-2, Huntress (in her very groovy 70s getup) holds up a newspaper, the Gotham Gazette, showing that Earth-2's Kryptonians (Kal-L and Kara Zor-L, otherwise known as Superman and Power Girl) are missing (we all know what happened to them, Kara is in Earth-1, or is that New Earth, and Kal is dead, courtesy of Superboy Prime).

However, the secondary headline says "LUTHOR CLAIMS INNOCENSE"... so, Earth-2 newspaper editors and journalists can't spell?

NIT-O-METER: 1 Bazzar.
<-------------------------------->
"IS THE QUESTION STILL A DUDE?"

TITLE: 52.

ISSUE: Week 52 of 52.

CULPRIT: One of the pencillers, although I'm pretty sure it's not Mike McKone, Pat Olliffe or Darick Robertson, so it's Eddy Barrows, Chris Batista, or Justiniano.

NIT-TO-PICK: Speaking of 52's end, on that last page, is it me or does Montoya/Question (yay, Vic Sage is alive in Earth-4) look ... portly, to say the least? I know she's supposed to be the gruff cop type, and she is a lesbian... but she never struck me as butch... In fact, she actually looks like a man here. Look at Renee in the first weeks of 52:


And look at her on the last page of 52 #52:


I was going to let this slide as just an observation tucked away in the previous nit, but come on, not only does she look like a different person, she looks like a man! I know she's wearing baggy clothes, but her chest is flat, and she looks like she's doubled her body mass! If anything, after training with Richard, she should be leaner.

I am willing to over look the fact that, since she's wearing the mask, her trench coat should be blue, and her hair black, (since the chemicals used to affix the mask to her face react to the specially treated clothes and shampoo/lotion); but she might not be using her special shampoo, or wearing that particular trenchcoat.

I'm also going to be nice and overlook the mask having eyes, as they actually seem to an overly exaggerated depiction of the indentation the mask shows around the eyes. Look at the picture above were she's wearing the blue trenchcoat, that's how you draw The Question's mask if you don't want to show any facial features at all. If you do want to show at least the "topography" of the face underneath the mask, you do it this way:


See the difference?

NIT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. I know interpretations of a character can vary between artists (just look at the first three images of Montoya above, in the first one she's definitely more buxom on the first on from the left); but this is too much. Come on guys, look at the rest of the comic you're working on!!!
<-------------------------------->
Well, so that's that for 52... it was a hell of a ride; like a TV show, some episodes were better than others, and some were great, and some we didn't need. But overall, it was a great book, with well written plots, and a great artistic layout. The only thing that suffered was the art, since they had to use different artist almost every week just to keep up; but luckily, Keith Giffen's breakdown's kept the whole look and feel of the book artistically cohesive. Speaking of Giffen, having been along for the whole ride, why didn't he commit any more nits.

The Writing Team is responsible (totally or fully) for about 14 nits; while Keith is the culprit of only 4... and two of those are "maybes". Did he bribe me to stay off my radar, then tell me to blame me for a couple of things so nobody would get suspicious? Not exactlty... I wish he had, do you know how great a Blue & Gold or Legion original art would have looked in my place? What happened is that I could verify that many of the nits I credited him for at first were not his fault, but the fault of that issue's penciller or pencillers.

How did I do this? Well, 52thecomic.com is a great site that DC built as if it were the Daily Planet's webpage, and it's just great.... but I'm rambling... what's great about that site, is that under the SPECIALS section, you can see almost all (if not all) the breakdowns Giffen did for 52. And by looking at them, I was able to see whether a particular error had been made by Giffen, and then carried over by the penciller, or if Keith's layouts had it right, and then the penciller screwed up.

As for this special's average Bazzars, it's a measly 4.9; a lot lower than last week's 6.5, and the lowest since column 11's 4.7 Bazzars. I'm not surprised, because about half the nits in this special are from old columns, when I was softer. Every nit from before Week 34 would probably be a couple of points higher, and we'd obviously see a few more 10s around.

When should you expect my next column? Good question... I've got quite a few nits from the books already released in May; but I'd rather write them up and save them to have all May nits in one column at the start of June. If I get the time, I might to a Backlog column with the nits I have filed from February, and that will make us catch up with all of 2007 up to date. And don't, even for one tiny moment, think that that will deplete my mighty vault of nits. I have nits from almost every month of 2006, then a few from 2005, not to mention the whole lot of ancient stuff that I have saved up for a rainy day. And thank God that I let some stuff slip by; like typos in KODT and Sluggy Freelance, or some stuff that would only get me yelled at for considering them nits... or if not, I would have to write a 20+ nit column every day just to cope!

That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more nits, because (almost) nothing escapes...

THE NITPICKER!