The Dissector #72.

DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)

[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]

"This job would be a lot easier if it was more like television. I'd find a clue during a special effects montage, and use it to solve the whole case in under an hour. That, and my assistant would be a beautiful woman in a tight sweater." NYPD Crime Scene Investigator, Witchblade #117.

Well, about a month have passed since I last posted a column, and since I started this one, just putting in the Quote Of The Week... and I'll confess that even if for most of that month I've been swamped with work, this past week I just slacked. So let's see if I can finish this column today. Comics in this column were published on the week of 04/23... I still have two more weeks from April, the whole month of May, and three weeks (soon to be four) from June... Catch up time, yet again.

Thanks to Alejandro Castro, aka "Peter Parker", for this shout out about the Incredible Hulk #118 thing. Moving on to business, Matías, from the ICS.net crew discovered the "Dissect This!", at least partially. John Stewart's wearing gloves instead of bracers. His chest emblem is also wrong, Mat didn't spot that, but he still gets the badge. Welcome to the HDSC, Ensign Matías N.! As it's usual with catch-up times, the Dissector's Picks will be as short and sweet as possible. Best Book Of The Week is Everybody's Dead #2, just chockfull of fun and gore. Worst Book Of The Week is Flash Gordon #0, call me old-fashioned, but it's just horrible how they turned Flash Gordon into a manga. Shoo now, dissections time.
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"WELL, IT'S JUST SUPERMAN, IT'S NOT LIKE HE'S GOT A CLASSIC, RECOGNIZABLE COSTUME."

TITLE: Checkmate V2 (DC).

ISSUE: 25.

CULPRIT: Santiago Arcas (colorist).

DISSECTION: Good God, Arcas! How can you work as a comic book colorist and not know that Superman's CAPE emblem is all yellow, not red and yellow like his chest one?!?!

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. Also, Fire's name is spelled incorrectly, as usual.
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"MULTI-EMPLOYMENT, IT EVEN PLAGUES SUPERHEROES"

TITLE: Countdown To Infinite Crisis (DC).

ISSUE: 01.

CULPRIT: Paul Dini (writer).

DISSECTION: Kyle Rayner and Donna Troy decide to team up again, to go around the galaxy, and yadda-yadda... but this does not mesh at all with Kyle's role in GL Corps, where he LIVES in Oa, and works directly for the Guardians as Guy's new partner in the Honor Guard.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars. Also, Ray Palmer's eyes are colored blue, when they should be brown.
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"LIKE I SAID, JUST SUPERMAN."

TITLE: Death Of The New Gods (DC).

ISSUE: 08 of 08.

CULPRIT: Jim Starling (penciller)

DISSECTION: There's no shield on Superman's cape in one panel, or it's too small because it's covered by a small caption box.

DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars.
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"A PROTEAN NAME, IT CHANGES..."

TITLE: The Dissector (Studio Robota).

ISSUE: 66.

CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).

DISSECTION: Just found this one while checking something for another dissection, I talked about "Proteus" (a Marvel character), when I meant "Prometheus", a DC character.

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
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"BACK TO THE FUTURE!"

TITLE: Justice League Of America V2 (DC).

ISSUE: 20.

CULPRIT: Dwayne McDuffie (writer).

DISSECTION: Flash (Wally West) says he just "came back from the future". Uh... Dwayne, he didn't go to the future...

DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars.
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"IGNORING THE CHANGES, OR SAVE?"

TITLE: New Exiles (Marvel).

ISSUE: 03.

CULPRIT: Mark Paniccia (editor) and/or Nathan Cosby & Jordan D. White (assistant editors).

DISSECTION: Morph is still not acknowledged as Proteus in the recap page.

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
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"FACE ME!"

TITLE: Star Trek: The Next Generation: Intelligence Gathering (IDW).

ISSUE: 04 of 05.

CULPRIT: David Messina (artist).

DISSECTION: PEOPLE WITHOUT FACES!!!

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. Also, Picard's eyes should be brown, not green, and there's a panel where Chief O'Brien's hair looks like it's a wig made of yarn...
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"MULTI-TASKING ROBOT."

TITLE: Star Trek: The Next Generation: Intelligence Gathering (IDW).

ISSUE: 04 of 05.

CULPRIT: Scott & David Tipton (writers).

DISSECTION: Data, who is the Enterprise's Operations and Science officer, is ordered by Picard, and makes analysis about tactical situations, which is a job for the Tactical officer (Worf, in this case).

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
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"WHO'S THAT OLD MAN?"

TITLE: Star Trek: New Frontier (IDW).

ISSUE: 04 of 04.

CULPRIT: Leonard O'Grady (colorist).

DISSECTION: Hash's hair is still colored white, when he's blonde.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars. Also, not a dissection (but only after careful considering), why does Admiral Shelby (an ADMIRAL) have a Lt. JG as her second in command? As her adjutant, I could see it, but she should at least have a Lt. Cmdr. or a Cmdr. as her first officer.
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"DISSECT THE FORCE!"

TITLE: Star Wars: Legacy (Dark Horse).

ISSUE: 22.

CULPRIT: Alan Robinson (artist).

DISSECTION: Check this out, besides the simplified figures, what looks wrong?


DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
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"OH, SURPRISE!"

TITLE: Superman/Batman (DC).

ISSUE: 47.

CULPRIT: Michael Green & Mike Johnson (writers).

DISSECTION: Superman is surprised to find a government military unit dedicated to defeating him if he goes rogue, when he faced a similar unit not too long ago in one of his own books.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
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Wow, I'm back with a vengeance! The average Bazzars for this column is 7.6, in 15 dissections, and the highest average since column 31, back in July, 2007. Statistics out of the way, let's go with the Moments Of The Week. First up, the return of a classic:


OMAC! Then, one of the funny moments that make Everybody's Dead book of the week:


Just one word: LOL! Now, Hulk shows us why he's so incredible:


Then, cloning Doomsday is stupid, what's more stupid?


Cloning him and adding kryptonite! And last, an awesome "viking" moment from Thor and Odin:


Damn. That's it for now, until next week, hope to have a new column in a couple of days. I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...

THE DISSECTOR!

The Dissector #71.

DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)

[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]

".... my keen deductive mind says that Arcade is behind this. That and he had his face and name scrawled on the big rock. That was a tip-off." Jamie Madrox, X-Factor V4 #30.

I tried to catch up almost a month ago, and failed, big time. But I'll keep on trying, here's the column for the week of 04/16, and nobody found the answer to the Dissect This! from last column, I'm a bit sad at that. The answer was simple: the writer makes a distinction between android and robot; saying that robots are simple automatons with no free will, and androids are distinguished by having ambition. WRONG! R2-D2 and Johnny 5 are not androids, yet they have free will and aren't simple automatons; while some androids (for example, the animatronics at Disneyworld) that lack free will, or even intelligence. Quickly, The Dissector's Pick Of The Week for Best Book is Hellblazer #243, which reads like classic Hellblazer, and the Worst Book was X-Factor V4 #30... not because it's bad, but because it's not up to par with the usual quality one expects from Peter David (although there's funny moments like this week's quote), and the art is not that much. On with the dissections!
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"KRAUT POLICE!"

TITLE: Avengers: The Initiative (Marvel).

ISSUE: 11.

CULPRIT: Dan Slott & Christos N. Gage (writers).

DISSECTION: Blitzschlag's German is wrong. And I didn't even need Dominik for this!

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
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"THAT'S NOT OLLIE!"

TITLE: Batman And The Outsiders V2 (DC).

ISSUE: 06.

CULPRIT: Chuck Dixon (writer).

DISSECTION: I'm sorry, but there's no way Grace can make Green Arrow trip. Yes, she has superpowers (half-Bana Amazon), but Ollie has at least 10-15 years of combat experience on her, plus that time in the island during the missing year.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
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"MARKOVIAN LANGUAGE INSTITUTE."

TITLE: Batman And The Outsiders V2 (DC).

ISSUE: 06.

CULPRIT: Chuck Dixon (writer).

DISSECTION: This one comes from good ICS.net editor Dominik B.: "When Geoforce escapes from the Chinese missiles, he swears in Markovian, which is a country close to the Russian border. He goes “Zürflackt” and “Våerzelph,“ both of which are supposed to be Markovian obscenities. However, those are, if you have as much as an inkling of knowledge about eastern Europe/Western Asia, you will know that the å is a Scandinavian letter, not used anywhere else in the world. And Z’ürflackt has the ü in it, which is only used in German or the translated versions of Chinese or Arabic languages. However, neither of those countries are anywhere near Russia and given the geographical and geopolitical situation of the area, it’s highly unlikely that the language made it that far. So, Z’ürflackt to you too, Mister Dixon!"

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars. Badge for you, Dom, two more and you make it to Lt. Cmdr.
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"BARRY, BACK SO SOON?"

TITLE: Countdown To Final Crisis (DC).

ISSUE: 02.

CULPRIT: Tom Chu (colorist).

DISSECTION: Wally West's eyes are colored blue, instead of green as they should.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
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"DYING YOUR HAIR AGAIN, OLD TIMERS?"

TITLE: DC/Wildstorm Dreamwar (DC/Wildstorm).

ISSUE: 01 of 06.

CULPRIT: Randy Mayor (colorist).

DISSECTION: Jay Garrick and Ted Grant's hair are colored incorrectly.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
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"JUSTICE LEAGUE OF DISSECTION."

TITLE: The Flash V2 (DC).

ISSUE: 239.

CULPRIT: Freddie E. Williams II (artist).

DISSECTION: Come on, this one is easy.


DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars.
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"LEGACY OF A BROKEN KEYBOARD."

TITLE: Iron Man: Legacy Of Doom (Marvel).

ISSUE: 01 of 04.

CULPRIT: David Michelinie (writer) and/or Artmonkeys Studios (letterer).

DISSECTION: Snakebyte spotted this one, there's a sentence that goes "You might have mentioned there was a war going on! Doom."; a random use of punctuation.

DISSECT-O-METER: 2 Bazzars.
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"YOU CHEETER!"

TITLE: Salvation Run (DC).

ISSUE: 06 of 07.

CULPRIT: Sean Chen (penciller).

DISSECTION: Cheeta looks like a regular human, and last I heard, she couldn't transform back.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars. Coloring errors too; Joker's eyes and Mammoth's hair.
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"GALILEO! GALILEO! GALILEO FIGARO!"

TITLE: Star Trek Year Four: Enterprise Experiment (IDW Publishing).

ISSUE: 01 of 05.

CULPRIT: D.C. Fontana & Derek Chester (writers) and/or Gordon Purcell (penciller).

DISSECTION: The Galileo shuttle is shown here, but being the year 2269, it should be the Galileo II, as the first and second Galileo shuttles (with no numeration in their name) were lost in 2267 and 2268. Good art, and everyone has their department insignia.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
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"OH, I KNOW, HE'S A MUTANT!"

TITLE: Star Trek Year Four: Enterprise Experiment (IDW Publishing).

ISSUE: 01 of 05.

CULPRIT: D.C. Fontana & Derek Chester (writers).

DISSECTION: What? Arex is a telepath? Since when? Yes, you can come up with this stuff, particularly if you're D.C. Fontana (we're not worthy!)... but never in his many animated series appearances, and handful of novel and comic book appearances has it ever been said that Arex is a telepath... so why start now, just for a cheap plot device, that could have easily been substituted with saying that his species has very sharp senses or something that wouldn't be as blatant as telepathy?

DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars.
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"IF DADDY CLARK USES GLASSES AS A DISGUISE, I'LL DO THE SAME WITH CONTACT LENSES!"

TITLE: Superman V1 (DC).

ISSUE: 675.

CULPRIT: Comicraft (letterer).

DISSECTION: Artist Jorge Correa Jr. is credited as "Jorgé", which is atrocious.

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. Also, Chris Kent's eyes are colored green instead of brown.
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"NO-EARTH."

TITLE: Tangent: Superman's Reign (DC).

ISSUE: 02 of 12.

CULPRIT: Dan Jurgens (writer).

DISSECTION: Again, New Earth is mislabeled "Earth-1".

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
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"WOLBERINE: ORIJINS."

TITLE: Wolverine: Origins (Marvel).

ISSUE: 24.

CULPRIT: Daniel Way (writer) and/or VC's Cory Petit (letterer).

DISSECTION: Snakebyte, who earns another badge, tells us that this comic uses 'hippocrite" instead of "hypocrite".

DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
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"IT'S NOT M, IT'S N."

TITLE: X-Factor V4 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 30.

CULPRIT: Jeromy Cox (colorist).

DISSECTION: Jeromy, Jeromy, Jeromy. M's skin should be dark, not as fair as Siryn's, and her eyes should be black, not light blue.

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. Twice. It's like he doesn't even know what character he's coloring. Also, Cannonball's accent in his story is gone.
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"LA WAKANDA, CUBA."

TITLE: X-Men: Divided We Stand (Marvel).

ISSUE: 01 of 02.

CULPRIT: Sana Takeda (artist, "Home").

DISSECTION: The streets of Wakanda's capital city look like a former European colony, including old, 1950s looking cars that make it seem more like Cuba.

DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars. Also, Takeda draws a truck with a regular, fossil fuel burning exhaust, he obviously knows nothing about Wakanda.
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Twenty-one dissections, and an average of 7.0; not bad. Let's end this column with the Moments Of The Week, first up we've got one of Marvel's true heroes:


Then, Countdown To Final Crisis might not have been as good as 52, but it had cool moments like this fight between Darkseid and Orion:


Cool! Back to Marvel, we learn who that Captain America that the Red Skull and his buddies have in cold storage:


The Grand Director, aka Commie Smasher Captain America! More Marvel, Dum Dum Dugan does it Nick Fury style:


You'll be missed, Dugan. Speaking of old school, everyone knows that even a blind Deadshot is still deadly:


Look at those faces, priceless!!! And to end, it's Marvel's "Who's Killed More Mutants" ranking!


Oh, come on! Bolivar Trask shouldn't be allowed to compete, he's really in league of his own. That's it for now, until next week, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...

THE DISSECTOR!

The Dissector #70.

DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)

[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]

"We're going to burn it all down. Because this is not the future we were promised. And if we can't have that, then we shouldn't have anything at all." Doktor Sleepless, Doktor Sleepless #6.

Damn, that Doktor Sleepless quote is harsh, but it's a good example of the comics "philosophy", as it takes a definitely "punk-ier" turn. On another note, and before I go on with the rest of the column, I'd like to thank my new friend Julia, from Russia, who works for the same company I do; and gladly helped me with some Russian inquiries (yes, Mike Mignola did his homework for BRPD: 1946) when I contacted completely out of the blue. благодарю, Julia!

Thank you all for putting up with my delays, I've had some very busy weeks at work, and then I was sick, and then... then it makes it even harder to catch up, I'm way behind, but I've caught up before, I can catch up now, can't I? Speaking of catching up, let's get the introductory sections out of the way. The Dissect This! from last column (yes, almost a month ago, I know!) was that Morph is still not being acknowledged as Proteus in New Exiles. Both Snarf5181 (who's one badge from becoming a Lieutenant) and Snakebyte (who's just reached Lt. Cmdr.) found it.

Best book of the week was, without a doubt, Doktor Sleepless #6, as we get to learn more of Dok's plans and mindset; but Titans V2 #1 gets a special "I love cheesecake" mention, as you'll see in the Moments Of The Week. Worst Book Of The Week was the first issue of Number Of The Beast, it was just too generic for my taste. By the way, this is the column for comics published on the week of 04/09.
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"POPULAR BOOK."

TITLE: The Amazing Spider-Man V1 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 556.

CULPRIT: Zeb Wells (writer).

DISSECTION: The sacred Mayan text "Popol Vuh" is spelled incorrectly as "Popul Voh".

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
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"ONE OF HIS POWERS IS CHANGING BETWEEN PANELS."

TITLE: Countdown To Final Crisis (DC).

ISSUE: 03.

CULPRIT: Freddie Williams II (artist).

DISSECTION: Jimmy Olsen is wearing different pants and shoes than all the previous issues.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars. Also, Kyle Rayner's emblem and hair are colored incorrectly, and Black Canary's costume is wrong,
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"IF IT'S A ROBOT, THEN IT'S NOT A DISSECTION, IT'S MORE LIKE... I DON'T KNOW...."

TITLE: Countdown To Final Crisis (DC).

ISSUE: 03.

CULPRIT: Scott Beatty (writer, backup origin story).

DISSECTION: What's wrong in this panel's writing? There's two problems, so, you can win two badges.


DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars, both of them.
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"SHE'S A LIGHTHOUSE'S GIRL"

TITLE: Danger's Dozen Interlude (First Salvo).

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: Thad Branco (writer) and/or Norm Breyfogle (layouts) and/or Kevin Breyfogle (finishes).

DISSECTION: There's a book in the second-to-last panel of the story "Aman Ascendant", called "The Pharoh's Bride", and as far as I can find, "pharoh" is not an acceptable spelling for the title of the ancient Egypt ruler, but a common misspelling.

DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
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"GREEEN."

TITLE: Green Lantern Corps V2 (DC).

ISSUE: 23.

CULPRIT: Peter J. Tomasi (writer).

DISSECTION: Salaak. Ugh!

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
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"NEW COSTUME?"

TITLE: Justice Society Of America V2 (DC).

ISSUE: 14.

CULPRIT: Dale Eaglesham (penciller).

DISSECTION: Hawkman's (hairy) chest emblem is drawn incorrectly, as a talon, not a hawk head.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars. Also, Jay Garrick's boots are drawn incorrectly.
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"FLOWERS? YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE BOTHERED!"

TITLE: Number Of The Beast (DC/Wildstorm).

ISSUE: 01 of 08.

CULPRIT: Scott Beatty (writer).

DISSECTION: Speedster Hotfoot runs through Tumbleweed (Wildstorm's Swamp Thing), and the former ends up in pain because "his body's natural fauna germinated" when he tried to vibrate through the latter. Oh no Scott Beatty, you didn't.... *sigh* First of all, it's called "flora", as "fauna" means "animal life". And second, as it's been previously established (remember this?), not just by me, but, oh, I don't know, THE WHOLE OF THE SCIENTIFIC COMMUNITY, that the so-called "gut flora" is not really made of plants; that's an old misconception. It's made of microbial life such as bacteria, and as such, someone with control over plants cannot affect it, and much less, make it GERMINATE.

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars, and it's a double, for calling it "fauna".
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"SU PERMAN."

TITLE: Superman Confidential (DC).

ISSUE: 14

CULPRIT: Rob Clark Jr. (letterer).

DISSECTION: Tiny, very small dissection: one of Supes' thought balloons says "Pla net", with a space in the middle.

DISSECT-O-METER: 1 Bazzar, because there's no fractions.
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"CHEST, BUT NOT STARFIRE'S."

TITLE: Titans V2 (DC).

ISSUE: 01.

CULPRIT: Ian Churchill (penciller).

DISSECTION: Like it happens all the time in Countdown, Kyle Rayner's emblem is drawn incorrectly.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars. It's also colored incorrectly, as are Raven's eyes.
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"PROCEDURE? WHAT PROCEDURE?"

TITLE: Wonder Woman V3 (DC).

ISSUE: 19.

CULPRIT: Gail Simone (writer).

DISSECTION: Procanon Kaa, the Green Lantern from the Khund's sector takes on a Khund as his partner... just because Wonder Woman convinces him to do so. It doesn't work that way, partners are not chosen by individual Lanterns, they're chosen by the Guardians (or at least, by someone like Kilowog or Salakk), and they must go to Oa for training before they receive their "badge".

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. Also, penciller Bernard Chang keeps drawing simply as muscular humans wiht pointy ears.
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We had a 6.5 Bazzar average, in eighteen dissections; not too bad. Now, the Moments Of The Week, first, we get Ian Churchill's lovely rendition of Starfire; who has definitely surpassed Jean Grey as "comics most hottest girl".


HUBBA HUBBA HUBBA!!! Cliff Baker is a lucky kid. Now, Mike Mignola's BRPD: 1946 is fun, it's got monsters, russians, and this scary demon in the shape of a porcelain doll, who also has a doll which, after this, is scary as hell:


Wear an apron. And why is BRPD cool, you ask, you need another reason? Well, this:


Nazi. Cyborg. Apes. Nuff said. Next, a simple superhero comic book moment, Superman pimp-punches Darkseid:


Dang! Also, from Countdown, they say a Green Lantern's ring is the most powerful weapon of the universe... then how about a Green Lantern himself?


Reminds me of some RPG sessions... Next, Doktor Sleepless' speech about love was too long for a "Quote Of The Week", but it's still great:


What do you think? Then we have the quote I ended up using, but the visuals are fantastic:


The Sleeplessignal! Then, things that can only happen in British comics (or TV):


Reminds me of a moment in the first Doctor Who Christmas Special (of this new era), where Rose, Ricky, and Jackie (plus the unconscious Doctor in his new body,) all hide inside the Tardis, and they start drinking tea, and Ricky says "Look at us, it's the end of the world and we're having tea. How British!" Next, Guy Gardner teaches us some poetry:


Heh, you tell that robot, Guy. Last, Cyborg tells the rest of the Titans why he's cooler than them.


Okay, he's not... but I love how oblivious the rest are to the fact that they are indeed sidekicks. That's it for now, until next week, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...

THE DISSECTOR!

The Dissector #69.

DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)

[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]

"If you're hunting nerds for sport I'd like you to know I'm PERSONALLY offended." Spider-Man, Amazing Spider-Man V1 #555.

Well, here's the column for last week's comics, and I'm sure a lot of you take it personally, like Spidey. Last week's DT! was correctly assessed by Snarf5181; the post Infinite Crisis Colossal Boy does not grow, he's a giant who shrinks. Badge for ya! The Dissector's Picks Of The Week will be short and sweet; as I'm not feeling very well as I write this (my neck is killing me).

Best Book Of The Week was, hands down, Action Comics #863. A great finale for the Legion arc; it's obvious that Geoff Johns understands the characters, and Gary Frank even managed to make them look a little bit less like heroine addicted schizophrenics. Great dialogue, excellent pacing, amazing action... and awesome moments for the MOT... this is a great year for the Legion, a good 50th anniversary. On the other hand, the Worst Book Of The Week was Cable V2 #2. Inconsistent art, boring plot, crappy pacing. There, presto!
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"EVENTUALLY, HE'LL REMEMBER."

TITLE: Action Comics (DC).

ISSUE: 863.

CULPRIT: Geoff Johns (writer)..

DISSECTION: As usual, important things are missing from Superman's power listing.

DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
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"IT'S MICROMAX'S DAUGHTER!"

TITLE: Cable V2 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 02.

CULPRIT: Ariel Olivetti (artist).

DISSECTION: The size changing of the baby is a bit less outrageous, but it's still happening.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
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"BLACK LIGHTINING BELONGS IN ANOTHER BOOK..."

TITLE: Countdown To Final Crisis (DC).

ISSUE: 04.

CULPRIT: Edgar Delgado (cover colorist).

DISSECTION: Mary Marvel's lightning bolt is colored black. Same goes for the interior art, colored by Tom Chu.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars. Also, Kyle Rayner's emblem is also colored incorrectly, and there's a panel where people are missing their faces.
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"THEY'RE MAGICAL!"

TITLE: Detective Comics (DC).

ISSUE: 843.

CULPRIT: John Kalisz (colorist).

DISSECTION: Zatanna's sweatpants change color from one page to the other.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
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"YOUR PHONEY MACHINE LANGUAGE DOES NOT COMPUTE!"

TITLE: Metal Men V4 (DC).

ISSUE: 07.

CULPRIT: Duncan Rouleau (writer).

DISSECTION: Again the binary speak by U.N.I.O.N. is not right, binary must be divisible by 8.

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. Still, this issue was better than all the rest of the mini... which is waaaaay too long. This story can be told in four issues.
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"HEY, IF HE'S NOT ALLOWED TO DYE HIS HAIR, WHO'S GONNA TELL HIM SO?"

TITLE: Midnighter (DC/Wildstorm).

ISSUE: 18.

CULPRIT: Gabe ElTaeb (colorist).

DISSECTION: Midnighter's hair should be blonde, not brown.

DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
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"EXILED DISSECTION"

TITLE: New Exiles (Marvel).

ISSUE: 04.

CULPRIT: Jordan D. White (assistant editor) and/or Mark Paniccia (editor).

DISSECTION: I rant about this one all the time.


DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
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"ATTACK OF THE TERRIBLE GIRAFFE GIRL!"

TITLE: DC Special: Raven (DC).

ISSUE: 02 of 05.

CULPRIT: Damion Scott (penciller).

DISSECTION: Scott's style is a weird blend of manga and... I don't know what else, but it fits the book. His anatomy is a bit distorted, but it's a stylistic choice, I assume. However, when he does things like that giraffe girl's body below, I got to call him on it.


She looks eight feet tall!

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
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"SAVAGE MEMORY."

TITLE: Secret Invasion (Marvel).

ISSUE: 01 of 07.

CULPRIT: Brian Michael Bendis (writer) and/or Chris Eliopoulos (letterer).

DISSECTION: The lettering makes it confusing, so it might be another character (it could only be Echo, though, but it doesn't sound like her), because someone says that he/she thought the Savage Land wasn't real. If it's not Echo, it could only be Iron Fist, and even if he's never been there, it still makes little sense for him to say something like that.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars. Good start for this event. Not great, but still good.
<-------------------------------->
"JARVIS... IS THAT YOU?"

TITLE: Secret Invasion (Marvel).

ISSUE: 01 of 07.

CULPRIT: Leinil Yu (penciller).

DISSECTION: Jarvis looks nothing like he should, in fact he doesn't look the same from panel to panel. One panel he looks nothing like he should, but at least he's the right build; next panel he's fat and short as his Ultimate counterpart... sheesh!

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"WELL, EXCEPT FOR THE FIRST.... TWO, OR THREE..."

TITLE: Young X-Men (Marvel).

ISSUE: 01.

CULPRIT: Marc Guggenheim (writer).

DISSECTION: Yay! We needed to reboot more titles and give them lame names like his one!!! Argh, just call this New Mutants V3!!!! It was a passable start; we'll see how it evolves. There is, however, a dissection: Cyclops says that "No Brotherhood (of Evil Mutants) since the first has been led by Magneto." This is not true; even if they were successive, Magneto led a few different line-ups of the Brotherhood. They were different enough to qualify as different teams; and there was at least one of them (the one that was later Mutant Force and the Resistants) that was completely lacking in returning members, so in my opinion, it qualifies as a new incarnation.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"MUCHO BARATO."

TITLE: Zorro (Dynamite).

ISSUE: 02.

CULPRIT: Matt Wagner (writer) and/or Simon Bowland (letterer).

DISSECTION: Well, well, well. Much better! They've downplayed the mystic element, they've reduced the number of unnecessary Spanish words to 1 in 20 instead of 1 in 10; and they've used tildes and Ñs! Still, it's not devoid of errors. First, they say "señors"; the plural should be "señores". That's the one I'll be rating below; but there's more: first, Ñs and vowels with tildes should be the same size un-tilded vowels or Ns; not smaller to accommodate the tilde, the letterer should adjust his font. Then, opening exclamation marks are missing, Alejandro de la Vega calls his wife "querido" (the word should be "querida", since she's female), and also calls her "amano" (it should be "amada", "amano" doesn't even exist). Lastly, there's a few Spanish words that are missing their tildes; I used to forgive this (even if it's incorrect), but if you use tildes for some word, use tildes for all words that need them.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars. Wow, that's 12 dissections in one book (out of 26 for the whole week)... I could have done this column just on Zorro #2!!!
<-------------------------------->
Nice week, with a 6.1 Bazzars (hmm...) and of course, Moments Of The Week! Forgive a couple of the MOT being several pages long, they were just too cool. First up, a quick look at the Action Comics LSH storyline's finale:


Simply breathtaking... but less impressive than the previews at the end of the book:


Geoff Johns + George Perez + LSH From Three Worlds = Geekgasm Maximus! Next, Cap has fun with Giant Man:


Kinky! We continue with one of the crappiest names in superhero history (and I'm counting the Triathlon):


John Henry, stick to engineering. Next, Colonel Magnus' (you don't know how hard it is for me to not write "MaGnUs" automatically) BURNS his Metal Men making brother:


That was harsh...And now:


Yes, I know it's not noticeable unless you've read Secret Invasion but... JARVIS IS A SKRULL!!!! So THAT'S why he hasn't looked like himself lately! Almost at the end of our column, The Boys venture where no other comic (that I know of) has: tasting the rainbow:


God, Billy Butcher's face in that first panel is priceless! And if you didn't know what "tasting the rainbow" was before this (apart from a Skittles slogan), now you do. Last, but certainly not least (how many times have I said this?), Young X-Men show team spirit, despite their crappy, John Henry Irons given team name:


Rockslide might be a jerk, but he's a loyal jerk. That's it for now, until next week, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...

THE DISSECTOR!

The Dissector #68.

DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)

[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]

"(...) a plan that probably involves Sentry being asked to do something that'll make him cry." Build-A-Recap, World War Hulk Aftersmash: Damage Control #03.

That quote made me laugh out loud. Have I ever mentioned that I think Sentry sucks? Last column's DT! was spotted by Sully and Snarf5181, and it was that "Qurac" was spelled as "Quarac".... that's like misspelling Latveria! *whistles looking up, since for more than two decades he thought it was Lavteria*

Time for the Dissector's Picks Of The Week, I'll make them short. Best Book Of The Week was Blue Beetle V7 #25; it was just an explosive, edge-of-your-seat ending to the plot that started in issue one; and we even get a JLI (sort of) guest spot. Vibrant art, snappy dialogues, great pacing... it all adds up to comic book gold. See more about this in the Moments Of The Week (and I had to leave some out). I have to admit that I'm a bit afraid of next issue being "all-Spanish!"; but I guess I'll just have to read it.

Worst Book Of The Week? Transhuman #1; it was dense, not funny, and just plain boring. It does, however, have an interesting enough backdrop for me to check out next issue. On with the dissections, then.
<-------------------------------->
"HE WAS AN ABIN SUR FAN."

TITLE: Batman Confidential (DC).

ISSUE: 15.

CULPRIT: Rags Morales (penciller).

DISSECTION: This is actually a good story, a better anti-Batman than Prometheus, really. However, they show the original Wrath being put in a Gotham orphanage, back in the time where Gordon gets transferred to Chicago (when he was a simple patrolman, not long after the Waynes' murder). So, this is, easily, 20 years ago. Twenty years ago in DC time, none of the "Silver Age" heroes were active; so why is a kid wearing a t-shirt with a Green Lantern Corps logo?

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"THERE ARE MANY, MANY, MANY MODELS."

TITLE: Battlestar Galactica: Origins (Dynamite).

ISSUE: 04.

CULPRIT: Inlight Studio (colorist).

DISSECTION: Despite the sub par art, this book is actually the best so far of the Dynamite new BSG books. Still, there's an error. When we see the Cylons prior to their attack on the colonies, a Simon model can be seen with the others, but his skin is colored Caucasian, instead of black, as it should be. By the way, I haven't seen the first episode of the new season, but I'm told it's great.

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"BREAKING NEWS! T'CHALLA CAN'T READ WAKANDAN!"

TITLE: Black Panther V4 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 35.

CULPRIT: Cafu (penciller). Oh, look, two-times World Cup winner footballer Cafu is now a comic book penciller?! Or actually this one should be for Reginald Hudlin (writer).

DISSECTION: The Black Panther's monitors again have text in English "Incoming Call - Mother" such and such... uhm... no, I don't think so.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"TRUE COLORS."

TITLE: Blue Beetle V7 (DC)

ISSUE: 25.

CULPRIT: Guy Major (colorist).

DISSECTION: Guy Gardner's emblem is colored incorrectly.

DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"ANIMAL MAN, NOT CYPHER."

TITLE: Countdown To Adventure (DC).

ISSUE: 08 of 08.

CULPRIT: Adam Beechen (writer).

DISSECTION: Now Animal Man has (since 52) the ability to tap into the morphogenetic fields of the whole universe, and mimic abilities from animals from other planets. Still, that doesn't give him the ability to speak any alien language, since that's a learned skill, not an inherent ability.

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. Good mini, a bit too long (it shouldn't have taken more than four issues to tell this story), but this is a fundamental misunderstanding of Animal Man's powers, and an unnecessary one, since a) it was plausible that either Starfire or Adam Strange spoke a language the Healers would understand, and b) Starfire can absorb languages through physical contact.
<-------------------------------->
"WHO IS THAT GIRL?"

TITLE: Countdown To Final Crisis (DC).

ISSUE: 05.

CULPRIT: Jim Starlin (penciller).

DISSECTION: Nice nod Kamandi; I'm surprised that they didn't make a special or a miniseries to tell this story, when less-tangential arcs to Countdown have been done as such (The Search For Ray Palmer, anyone?). Still, Starlin gets Una's costume wrong, drawing very thin bracelets on her wrists instead of bracers.

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. Also, Kyle is missing his chest emblem in one panel.
<-------------------------------->
"MYSTERIOUS SPELLINGS."

TITLE: The Dissector (Studio Robota).

ISSUE: 66.

CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).

DISSECTION: I misspelled Jeromy Cox's name as "Jeremy". Sully spotted this one, and one where I misspelled "Mystery" as "Mistery".

DISSECT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars. Also, the Guvnor found a typo I made
<-------------------------------->
"OHNOES, THE COPS!"

TITLE: JSA: Classified (DC).

ISSUE: 36.

CULPRIT: B. Clay Moore (writer).

DISSECTION: Since when does Wildcat run from the police after detaining a perp? He's a member of one of the most important, public, and even down-to-Earth superhero teams in the DCU!

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"SHE MARRIED NITRO?"

TITLE: Knights Of The Dinner Table (Kenzer & Co.).

ISSUE: 134.

CULPRIT: Barbara Blackburn (assistant editor)

DISSECTION: One of the footnote quotes is credited to "Sara Fergueson", when her last name is "Felton". Fergueson is the name of another character (Victor "Nitro" Fergueson). Kudos to her and her husband Jolly for taking the heat on this one, and being such great sports about it. They make the finest comics/gaming magazine out there, along with the rest of the team, and they're so down to Earth and willing to talk in the forums with their fans, that I regret having to report errors in their books. But... the Dissector doesn't, and he's sometimes stronger than I am.

DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars. There's also a repeated quote in two consecutive pages (that one's for Jolly and the lovely Bev Shideler, the typo slayer).
<-------------------------------->
"DISSECTION OF THE FUTURE!"

TITLE: The Legion of Super-Heroes V5 (DC).

ISSUE: 40.

CULPRIT: Jim Shooter (writer).

DISSECTION: Easy one:


DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"DOOM TALKS BACK!"

TITLE: The Mighty The Avengers (Marvel).

ISSUE: 11.

CULPRIT: Brian Michael Bendis (writer).

DISSECTION: Even if he's a Skrull (he might be), Doctor Doom does not say things like "You're a fat piece of furniture I may need for trade! So shut your cow-mouth or I'll remove your face by hand before I stop your whore's hear!"

DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars. Also, why would Tony Stark have to "reverse-engineer" tech he himself developed and has all the specs for?
<-------------------------------->
"JUST IGNORE THOSE."

TITLE: Robin V2 (DC).

ISSUE: 171.

CULPRIT: Chuck Dixon (writer).

DISSECTION: This issue is from February, but since I wanted to read all about the possible return of the Spoiler, I got this one and 172 to read. Not bad, I'll say, but I have a hard time believing that Robin actually thinks that "The criminal element is made up technophobes." Uhm? And what do you call Lex Luthor, Brainiac, Captain Cold, Mirror Master, etc, and even the lame-ass Condiment King guy you just fought in this very issue? DC has a lot of tech-villains, even among the non-superpowered variety.

DISSECT-O-METER: 2 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"MASTER OF STEALTH!"

TITLE: Robin V2 (DC).

ISSUE: 172.

CULPRIT: David Baldeón (penciller).

DISSECTION: Robin's utility pouches are not fixed on both ends to his belt, flapping around wildly when he runs. Yes, very stealthy.

DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"DUH!"

TITLE: Robin V2 (DC).

ISSUE: 171.

CULPRIT: Chuck Dixon (writer).

DISSECTION: Since when is Robin stupid enough to phone his girlfriend in the middle of an important case. Dixon, this is not the same Robin appearing in Teen Titans or Batman.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars. Also, Greek themed casino, lots of "Z" banners, and a guy who looks like Maxie Zeus, and Robin even doubts it's him?
<-------------------------------->
"THE UNIVERSAL TRANSLATOR IS BROKEN!"

TITLE: The Secret History Of The Authority: Jack Hawksmoor (DC/Wildstorm).

ISSUE: 01 of 06.

CULPRIT: Mike Costa (writer).

DISSECTION: Nice first issue, this is my favorite Authority character (him and the previous Doctor). Nice writing by Mike Costa, and good art by Fiona Staples; we need more women in comics. However, I have a problem with one of the lines said by the current Doctor (who, comically, Fiona has making Ditkoesque Dr. Strange hand-gestures). The Authority is fighting some sort of mythical giant (similar to the Millennium Giants in DC a few years back), whose language they can't translate, because according to the Doctor "It's a proto-language. It comes from a time when language and culture were inextricable from each other." Uhm, what?

DISSECT-O-METER: 2 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"ALLEN-NATION."

TITLE: Spider-Man: With Great Power... (Marvel).

ISSUE: 03 of 05.

CULPRIT: David Lapham (writer) and/or VC's Joe Caramagna (letterer).

DISSECTION: Liz Allan, not Allen. Yes, I know, I've made that mistake too.

DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"YOU'RE PALE..."

TITLE: Star Trek: New Frontier (IDW).

ISSUE: 01.

CULPRIT: Leonard O'Grady (colorist).

DISSECTION: I expected no less from Peter David, this was a good issue, though I wish I hadn't missed the few latest New Frontier novels. The art is not fantastic, but it's certainly better than the norm in IDW's Trek titles. Still, there's a couple of errors. First up, Kalinda's skin should be, as with all Thallonians, dark red, or even light red... not dull pink.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars. Also, Romeo Takahashi's hair should be blonde, not white.
<-------------------------------->
"WORFZILLA."

TITLE: Star Trek: The Next Generation: Intelligence Gathering (IDW).

ISSUE: 03 of 05

CULPRIT: David Messina (artist).

DISSECTION: This was the best issue so far of the IDW TNG comics; even the art was better... but that's probably because apart from David Messina on the art, Gianluigi Gregorini is credited as "art assist"... Still, Messina still draws Worf in a scene as if he was three times larger than a human being. Psst, Dave... he's a Klingon, not the Hulk...

DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"DEMOTED!"

TITLE: Star Trek: The Next Generation: Intelligence Gathering (IDW).

ISSUE: 03 of 05

CULPRIT: David Messina (penciller).

DISSECTION: Chief O'Brien is never wearing any rank insignia. Yes, I know he has a history of screw-ups on part of production regarding his rank and insignia, perhaps that was Messina's reason for not drawing any on him? Also, I'd like to thank Messina for including my dad in Star Trek:


First he was a Sinestro Corpsman, now he's a Starfleet Engineer? Nah, he'd be best suited for the JAG.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars. Also, Picard's eyes are not green.
<-------------------------------->
"SLACKERS."

TITLE: Star Trek: The Next Generation: Intelligence Gathering (IDW).

ISSUE: 03 of 05

CULPRIT: Scott & David Tipton (writer).

DISSECTION: O'Brien claims that a after level 3 diagnostic, there is not much more they can do without pulling into a space dock; but actually, a level 1 diagnostic is the most exhaustive one they can do.

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"MONKEY BUSSINESS."

TITLE: Transhuman (Image).

ISSUE: 01 of 04.

CULPRIT: Jonathan Hickman (writer).

DISSECTION: The test apes are referred to, in what's supposed to be official research reports as "monkeys". NO. APES ARE NOT MONKEYS!!!

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. Also, one of the analysts uses the word "fucking", it's supposed to be a scientific study.
<-------------------------------->
"IS SHE WOODY'S DAUGHTER?"

TITLE: Ultimate Spider-Man (Marvel).

ISSUE: 120.

CULPRIT: Brian Michael Bendis (writer), and/or Lauren Sakovitch (assistant editor), and/or Bill Roseman (editor).

DISSECTION: Liz Allan guys, let's all get that right, yes?

DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars. And also, I can't count it as a dissection, but I'm feeling that Bendis calling Blob "Franklin" instead of "Frederick" was a mistake, not an intention to rename the character for the Ultimate Universe.
<-------------------------------->
Well, this week we had a 5.8 Bazzar average; not too shabby. What? You wanna see the Moments Of The Week? Here we go: First, Jack Hakwsmoor shows you why he's the "King Of Cities"!


Henry Bendix (the guy with the wings) just peed himself a little. Next, we learn exactly what "Khaji Da" means:


That's the scarab talking, and it rebels completely against the Reach, befriending Jaime. Cool! Talking about cool, check this out:


"I'm the crazy one." indeed Guy. Check out Milagros' face (I can see a Guy Gardner poster in her room), and the Reach soldier who realizes they're screwed. Priceless. More Blue Beetle, last one actually, the Reach is low-tech pwnd!


Jamie Reyes is a credit to modern teenagers. Next, the death of a beloved character:


Holy crap! Last, Ben Grimm shows us he's not just beauty and brawn:


Gotta love the Thing. That's it for now, until next week, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...

THE DISSECTOR!

The Dissector #67.

DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)

[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]

"You can call me an "innovator"... You can call me a "child prodigy"... But I don't really know what those words mean." Franklin Richards, Franklin Richards, Franklin Richards: Spring Break.

Aaaaaaaaand.... CAUGHT UP!!! YEAH, BABY, YEAH!!! This is the column for the books published on 03/19, which means that I'm back on schedule. I've gotten such a workout from this catch-up series of columns, that I can make them faster than ever, but still, I'll slow down in future columns and take the time to rant more extensively when things bother me. The Dissect This! for last column was solved (only in part) by Snakebyte, who saw that the map in the UN seal was any but Earth's. Marvel's Earths have a few extra islands, and of course, Atlantis underwater; but the regular continents' shapes are still the same. Also, the general design of the seal was screwed up, apart from the map. But... this was a double DT, and nobody got the second one (I know, I'm not letting you guys breathe between columns), which was that the two seals in the picture... were not the same. The maps were different, for starters.

Now, The Dissector's Picks Of The Week are as follow: Best Book Of The Week goes to Everybody's Dead #1; with a hilarious script by Brian Lynch, and art... well, the art by Dave Crossland was a bit subpar, more suited to a webcomic than something put out by IDW... but at least it was consistent and not just plain BAD as most of the IDW Star Trek book's art is. Worst Book Of The Week goes to World War Hulk Aftersmash: Warbound #4 of 5. Is it bad? No, but it was the most boring thing I read in the week, and this story certainly did not need five issues to be told. The art in the first story is a bit plain, and while the art on the backup tale is good, I really don't feel the need to learn about the Warbound's pasts. That's it then, on to the dissections!
<-------------------------------->
"BLANK WITH FEAR."

TITLE: The Amazing Spider-Man V1 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 554.

CULPRIT: Phil Jimenez (penciller).

DISSECTION: First story page, Randall Crowne lacks pupils and irises.

DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"STRAP IN."

TITLE: Captain America V5 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 36.

CULPRIT: Butch Guice (penciller).

DISSECTION: Yeah, I know... I'm way to nitpicky.... but Captain America's shield straps are drawn incorrectly.

DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"POWERLESS!"

TITLE: Checkmate V2 (DC).

ISSUE: 24.

CULPRIT: Joe Bennett (penciller).

DISSECTION: Vixen is not wearing her Tantu Totem!

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. Also, Red Arrow's costume is wrong, and so are Jay Garrick's boots... and Superman's cape shield!!! And of course, Fire's name.
<-------------------------------->
"OH NO HE DIDN'T!"

TITLE: Checkmate V2 (DC).

ISSUE: 24.

CULPRIT: Santiago Arcas (colorist).

DISSECTION: Arcas incorrectly colors SUPERMAN'S CAPE SHIELD!!! He colors it as if it was the chest shield, blue and yellow

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. Un-for-gi-va-ble.
<-------------------------------->
"GOOD NA-NITE."

TITLE: Countdown To Final Crisis (DC).

ISSUE: 06.

CULPRIT: Adam Beechen (writer).

DISSECTION: I understand how the Morticoccus virus evolved after infecting Karate Kid... but what the hell is this "Thirty-First century nanites in the virus"... I assume they mean Karate Kid Thirty-First century antibodies, but if they meant the virus itself, it's still wrong, because it's not from the 31st century (or it hasn't been mentioned), and nanites would imply that it's a technovirus.

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. Also, Tom Chu colors Donna Troy's eyes incorrectly, and Mary marvel's lightning.
<-------------------------------->
"GET IT RIGHT!"

TITLE: The Dissector (Studio Robota).

ISSUE: 52.

CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).

DISSECTION: Every time I type "Countdown To Final Crisis", I need to make sure I don't write "Infinite Crisis"; and I have dissected myself on the matter in the past; but I just re-checked, and I missed it in column 52. A sign?

DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars, and I did it twice.
<-------------------------------->
"WHAT GIVES?"

TITLE: Everybody's Dead (IDW).

ISSUE: 01.

CULPRIT: Brian Lynch (writer).

DISSECTION: The issue opens with a flyer for a frat Halloween party, stating that men pay ten dollars, and girls are free (costumed girls are "double free", whatever that means, heh). Yet not ten pages later, Jack's girlfriend complains that Aurora got in free. Huh?

DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"EYE MACHINA."

TITLE: Ex Machina (DC/Wildstorm).

ISSUE: 35.

CULPRIT: Tony Harris (penciller).

DISSECTION: This has got to be one of my favorite books, but it's been slower than a turtle, lately. Still, it hasn't ceased to be a good read. In this case, first dissection I ever find in this comic, in one of Mitch Hundred's flashbacks to his time as "The Great Machine" (actually told by his deputy mayor), his goggle lenses get shattered, and in one panel you can't see his eye, and on the other one you can... it's quite confusing.

DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"SUPER GREEN! LANTERN GREEN!"

TITLE: Justice League Of America V2 (DC).

ISSUE: 19.

CULPRIT: Peter Pantazis (colorist).

DISSECTION: John Stewart's eyes are NOT green! And why does Pantazis get credited as Pete sometimes and as Peter other times? Shouldn't they have some sort of standard?

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. I'm just tired of this.
<-------------------------------->
"TEXTBOOK DISSECTION."

TITLE: Justice League Of America V2 (DC).

ISSUE: 19.

CULPRIT: Alan Burnett (writer) and/or Rob Leigh (letterer).

DISSECTION: This is an easy one, tell me what's wrong here:


DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. Also, guys, the word is "scepter", not "sceptor".
<-------------------------------->
"ZZZZZZZZZT!"

TITLE: Super Friends V2 (DC).

ISSUE: 01.

CULPRIT: Sholly Fisch (writer).

DISSECTION: I know this is a book aimed at children, and I find it pretty good, even to read it to my own kid. However, being a kids book does not give you a license to write as if for idiots. Amazo, the android who can copy all of the Super Friend's powers, is defeated because they dupe him into duplicating Aquaman's powers, jumping into the water and short-circuiting, because... "everyone knows that water and electrical machines don't mix!" Sholly, even kids have heard about submarines and motor boats.... Not only you're treating kids as morons, but you're swiping a story from the Super Friends cartoon, where Batman defeats ROMAK, the evil computer, with a bucket of water ("The Evil Machines").

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"BLACK CELEBRATION."

TITLE: Superman/Batman (DC).

ISSUE: Annual 02.

CULPRIT: Jorge Molina (colorist).

DISSECTION: Superman's emblem in a monitor has the background colored in black. Nice of Joe Kelly to nod to the Silver Age story where Superman loses his powers and becomes Supernova; but he should have changed the name and costume (which looks silly) after 52, with this story being early in their careers, why didn't anybody make any mention of the "original" Supernova during the missing year?

DISSECT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"ONE EARTH."

TITLE: Tangent: Superman's Reign (DC).

ISSUE: 01 of 12.

CULPRIT: Dan Jurgens (writer).

DISSECTION: There's a sequence in the "central" DCU, which is labeled as "Earth-1"; but Earth-1 is a different one, this should be New Earth, as there's Earths "New to 51".

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. Also, John Stewart's costume bracers are colored silver.
<-------------------------------->
Well, 21 dissections and an average of 7.1 Bazzars... not that's more like it! Moments Of The Week, now, we start with P.I.M.P.:


Sorry, I meant H.E.R.B.I.E.! Next, fear Spin, a villain who gets his powers from BDSMing an alien!


Disturbing... not as much as that snake a few columns ago, but still... Then, the fight we all want to see:


Place your bets! Mine's on the dragon, of course. And now, Spidey does the unexpected:


He gives JJJ yet another heart attack!!! Now, a funny scene from Everybody's Dead:


The frat's Recording Secretary, Mosby, show's a rival fraternity what it is to stare at a barrel of a gun... or at least, at Megatron's! Next up, Alfred shows his taste in cars:


Heh! Then, the Dibnys return!


I did NOT expect that. And for a finale, somebody gets sliced and diced by a WWI fighter plane!


Guts, it had to be Ennis, and guts! That's it for now, until next week, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...

THE DISSECTOR!