The Dissector #45.

DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)

[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]

"I need a Commodore Sixty-Four." Hank Pym, Mighty Avengers #5.

Sorry for the lateness, this column is for comics published the week before this one, and should have come out on Thursday or Friday as usual, but I've been swamped with a lot of stuff. Let's get started with the Dissect This!, which was the fact that Hal Jordan is shown after killing Kilowog, but he's only wearing one power ring, when by then he already had like ten. What are the Dissector's Picks of the Week, you say? Well, the best book for this week wasn't published the week in question, but about a month ago or so, and it's Atomic Robo #1. Yes, it's a blatant Hellboy rip-off, with a robot instead of a demon, but it's well written, with snappy dialogue like "Don't tell me I'm in the wrong mountain base", and a simple, but engaging plot, all by Brian Clevinger. The art by Scott Wegener is cartoony, in synch with the book's light tone and the (current) setting of the late 30s, and the color Ronda Pattison are clean, but not bland, like I usually complain about similar coloring. Plus, Robo was created by Nikola Tesla, which along with the pulp theme is what drew me to pick up the book... and I don't regret it.

The worst book of the week? Well, I have to say that it was the latest issue of Star Trek: Year Four, #4, and it's entirely a problem with the writing. The art by The Sharp Brothers is good (except for a couple of problems I write about further down as dissections), and even if it's not my cup of tea, it conveys a feeling of "sixtiesness" which is completely appropriate for the TOS setting, a feeling enhanced by Leonard O'Grady's colors. However, Tischman's plot looks like a reject script from TOS itself (and no, I don't think that this book should read like that), with an intended tongue-in-cheek jab at network executives... it's not bad, but it's... lackluster. I do like the idea about a Scott Tipton penned Starfleet Academy series (be it TV or comic)... will it happen?

Before we go on with the dissections, to no one in particular I declare that I want this shirt. It'd make me happy, as much as a t-shirt can.
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”UNNECESSARY…”

TITLE: Birds Of Prey.

ISSUE: 111.

CULPRIT: Tony Bedard (writer).

DISSECTION: So, the Calculator has to kill a poor tech-guy to steal his uniform and thumb, so he can use them to go to a seminar? Please, he shouldn't need to kill him, he could just knock him out and copy his thumbprint into some sort of glove or fake thumb, as seen on MythBusters and here. Calculator is much more subtle, as Gail Simone was subtler than Bedard.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
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”PLOT DEVICE-ARE-US.”

TITLE: Birds Of Prey.

ISSUE: 111.

CULPRIT: Tony Bedard (writer).

DISSECTION: Misfit cannot teleport from Metropolis to a well-known building in Seattle because her powers "don't work that way", but some issues ago she could teleport all the way to Russia with no point of reference? I say thee bullshit.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars, cheap plot devices won't save your story, Tony.
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”SHYA, LIKE IT’S ACTUALLY A COSTUME…”

TITLE: Brave And The Bold V3.

ISSUE: 07.

CULPRIT: George Pérez (penciller, and it's the first time I see it written correctly).

DISSECTION: Cyclone appears in a group shot, but her costume is drawn incorrectly.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
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”CAPTAIN AMERICA: PSYCHIC.”

TITLE: Captain America: The Chosen

ISSUE: 03 of 06.

CULPRIT: David Morrel (writer).

DISSECTION: Captain America says that the Supersoldier Serum gave him some sort of psychic abilities. I say thee bullshit. That's one of my new catchphrases.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
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”SLOW-MORPHING. ”

TITLE: Checkmate V2.

ISSUE: 19.

CULPRIT: Kalman Andrasofszky (cover artist).

DISSECTION: The cover features Amanda Waller's evidence against her fellow royals in Checkmate, including three photos of Black King Taleb Beni Khalid, who apparently is actually the Martian Manhunter, shifting from the human form to MM's current martianoid form. Problem is, it takes him a total of 29 seconds to transform, when his transformations are usually shown as instantaneous.

DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
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”BETCHA DON’T WRITE VONDOOM?”

TITLE: Checkmate V2.

ISSUE: 19.

CULPRIT: Greg Rucka (writer)

DISSECTION: In the roll-call on page 3, Fire's last name is given as "DACOSTA", when it should be "DA COSTA", or "da Costa", if not spelled in capitals.

DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars, repeat offense.
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”TONY THE TIGORR. ”

TITLE: Countdown.

ISSUE: 28.

CULPRIT: Al Barrionuevo (penciller).

DISSECTION: Bronze Tiger's mask looks wrong, more like Tigorr from the Omega Men.

DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
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”FOLLOW THE CRAZY.”

TITLE: Countdown.

ISSUE: 28.

CULPRIT: Tony Bedard (writer).

DISSECTION: Deadshot is giving orders to the Suicide Squad, when both its field leader (Rick Flag) and Amanda Waller's second in command (King Faraday, her Bishop) are present, and in fact, King is giving orders too. Also, not an error, but did they have to tell us that Barda was dead? I obviously read Countdown before Death of the New Gods, and Bedard spoiled that for me!

DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
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”YEAH, DICK’S GOT A KILLER FASHION SENSE.”

TITLE: Countdown.

ISSUE: 28.

CULPRIT: Al Barrionuevo (penciller).

DISSECTION: Kyle Rayner's mask is wrong, looks more like a Nightwing mask.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
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”EVERYBODY THINKS WE’RE EVIL, SO WHY BOTHER?”

TITLE: Countdown.

ISSUE: 28.

CULPRIT: Scott Beatty (writer, backup origin stories).

DISSECTION: Trickster and Pied Piper's origins make no mention (except for a very vague reference to Piper being friends with Wally) of their reforming.

DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
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”T IS FOR TRICKSTER.”

TITLE: Countdown.

ISSUE: 28.

CULPRIT: Ethan Van Sciver (penciller/inker, backup origin stories).

DISSECTION: Trickster's current uniform does not have a "T" emblem on its chest.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
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”WE HAVEN’T READ THAT ONE YET.”

TITLE: Countdown.

ISSUE: 28.

CULPRIT: Elisabeth V. Gehrlein (editor, backup origin stories).

DISSECTION: The essential storylines section of Piper's origin lists "Countdown Special: The Flash 80-Page Giant", a book that doesn't come out until the week after. Besides, since they're still handcuffed together, Trickster would also be an important part of that Special... or is he sleeping through the whole thing?

DISSECT-O-METER: 1 Bazzar.
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”THE NEWSBOY LEGION OF HAIRDRESSERS?”

TITLE: Death Of The New Gods.

ISSUE: 01 of 08.

CULPRIT: Jim Starlin (penciller, and writer, but I'll refer to each "role" he took as it pertains to the specific dissection).

DISSECTION: Jimmy Olsen's hairdo is completely different to what he currently sports in Countdown and the Superman books.

DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars. Yes, a little extreme, but I think it stands, for Shooter's not checking references..
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”WATCH OUT! ”

TITLE: Death Of The New Gods.

ISSUE: 01 of 08.

CULPRIT: Jim Starlin (penciller, and writer, but I'll refer to each "role" he performed as it pertains to the specific dissection).

DISSECTION: Jimmy's signal watch looks nothing like it should, it looks like a plastic wristband that he found in a child's party favor bag. I mean, look at this:

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars. He MIGHT have more than one watch, but I'm not buying it.
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”LOVE GLOVES.”

TITLE: Death Of The New Gods.

ISSUE: 01 of 08.

CULPRIT: Jeromy Cox (colorist).

DISSECTION: Jeromy! Nice of you to stop by, we hadn't had the pleasure of your presence since, oh, column #40! In this case, you've colored Big Barda's costume gloves blue, when they're yellow, at least in the latest version of her armor.

DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
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”A MONITOR? WHERE?”

TITLE: Death Of The New Gods.

ISSUE: 01 of 08.

CULPRIT: Jim Starlin (writer/penciller) and Jeromy Cox (colorist), though it's dubious the latter is responsible.

DISSECTION: Ah, the New Gods from New Genesis! Mighty Orion, wise and departed Highfather, Lightray, your brightness will be forgotten, as Big Barda's beauty and might will be remembered for eons. There's also Mr. Miracle, now in mourning, and one of the Monitors... what? A Monitor? Yes, a Monitor; look at this background (but clearly visible) figure from the spread in pages of 16-17:

It's a Monitor! I don't think poor Jeromy had anything to do with this, I'm pretty sure Starlin TOLD him to color the figure this particular way, but why the hell would this Monitor be there in full view?

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
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”GRRRRRRRR!”

TITLE: Death Of The New Gods.

ISSUE: 01 of 08.

CULPRIT: Jim Starlin (writer) and/or Jared K. Fletcher (letter).

DISSECTION: On page 27, Granny Goodness says "rouges gallery", instead of "rogues." Repeat after me, everybody: "rogues", "emperor", "klingons".

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. Yes, you wanna make something of it?
<-------------------------------->
”WE, UH…. MOVED?”

TITLE: Death Of The New Gods.

ISSUE: 01 of 08.

CULPRIT: Jim Starlin (penciller).

DISSECTION: Big Barda an Mr. Miracle arrive to their home... which looks nothing like the house they last showed living in.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
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”GREEN, BUT NOT EVERYWHERE.”

TITLE: Green Lantern V4.

ISSUE: 24.

CULPRIT: Moose Baumann (colorist).

DISSECTION: In last column's Dissect This!, Hal Jordan's costume is colored incorrectly, with the left sleeve (the only one left) being green instead of black.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
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”EACH TIME IT’S DIFFERENT, LIKE SNOWFLAKES.”

TITLE: Justice League Of America V2.

ISSUE: 14.

CULPRIT: Ed Benes (penciller).

DISSECTION: Killer Frost yet again looks different. Oh, well, at least Cheetah's got spots and Grodd doesn't look as big as King Kong.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
”RED EYE MAD.”

TITLE: Justice League Of America V2.

ISSUE: 14.

CULPRIT: Alex Sinclair (colorist).

DISSECTION: The Joker's eyes are, for some reason, colored red...

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
”TIME FOR A DISSECTION AT HOME!”

TITLE: Marvel Comics Presents V2.

ISSUE: 02.

CULPRIT: M. Zachary Sherman (writer, "Best Offense").

DISSECTION: What's wrong with this page? Dissect This!


DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
”THE PUTTY COMMANDER.”

TITLE: Marvel Comics Presents V2.

ISSUE: 02.

CULPRIT: M. Zachary Sherman (writer, "Best Offense").

DISSECTION: Maria Hill is presented as "Deputy Commander", when her rank is Commander, and her position (when Tony Stark is not around) is "Deputy Director".

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
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”YES, S.H.I.E.L.D. HAS A NICE HAIR SALON ON THE HELICARRIER.”

TITLE: Marvel Comics Presents V2.

ISSUE: 02.

CULPRIT: Sotocolor's A. Crossley (colorist).

DISSECTION: Dum Dum Dugan's hair is colored blond, and he's a redhead.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
”A.G.A.I.N.”

TITLE: Marvel Comics Presents V2.

ISSUE: 02.

CULPRIT: Rich Koslowski (writer) and/or Dave Sharpe (letterer).

DISSECTION: Not USAgent, it's U.S.Agent.

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
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”WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR MEMORY, HANK?”

TITLE: The Mighty Avengers

ISSUE: 05.

CULPRIT: Brian Michael Bendis (writer).

DISSECTION: Apart from the fact that Bendis makes Ares talk like a primitive retard, he has Hank Pym think, when faced with Ares, "There's a mythological god of war... in my face!" Yeah, what about all the years you spent on the same team WITH THOR, THE RAGNAROKING GOD OF THUNDER OF NORSE MYTH?!?!?!

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
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”HUUUUUGE-ERNAUT.”

TITLE: New Excalibur.

ISSUE: 24.

CULPRIT: Jeremy Haun (penciller).

DISSECTION: On the cover, Juggernaut is so fucking massive, that Nocturne is about the size of his head, and two Sages fit in one of his arms! Anyway, this was the last issue of New Excalibur, but Claremont is still writing Exiles, and he's doing a horrible crossover between these two books in X-Men: Die By The Sword; which should really have been done in either book, but no, they had to publish something with the word "X-Men" in the title!

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
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”UNTITLED.BMP.”

TITLE: The Nitpicker.

ISSUE: 22.

CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).

DISSECTION: So, it's time to pick on myself. While compiling information for the Autopsy Awards, I found some of my own mistakes. Column #22 is missing the title for each nit.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars, it's an integral part of the column.
<-------------------------------->
”WHAT YOU UNDERSTAND NOT THIS?”

TITLE: The Nitpicker.

ISSUE: 24.

CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).

DISSECTION: One of the nits is entitled "WHAT, ARE YOU TOLD FOR SUPERHERO NAMES?", when it should be "(...) TOO OLD (...)".

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
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”V2.V3.V4.V5?”

TITLE: The Nitpicker.

ISSUE: 43.

CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).

DISSECTION: All the nits regarding Justice League Of America V2 were labeled "Justice League Of America.V2."

DISSECT-O-METER: 1 Bazzar.
<-------------------------------->
”SEVEN OF NINE.”

TITLE: The Nitpicker.

ISSUE: 43.

CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).

DISSECTION: The "Star Trek: Year Four" nit says it's issue 03, omitting the fact that it's 03 of 06.

DISSECT-O-METER: 2 Bazzars.
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”NO BADGES FOR YOU.”

TITLE: Star Trek: Year Four.

ISSUE: 04 of 06.

CULPRIT: The Sharp Brothers (penciller/inkers).

DISSECTION: Speak of the devil... As you've read above, this issue wasn't of my particular predilection, but apart from that, out of 21 story pages, 16 have the recurring error of no department insignia on the character's Starfleet badge; even having some characters with the insignia showing, at the same "distance" from the camera than characters with no insignia, and when objects in the background are very detailed.

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars out of repeated offense and blatancy.
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”LIKE A PINCH ON THE SHOULDER BY MISTER SPOCK!”

TITLE: Star Trek: Year Four.

ISSUE: 04 of 06.

CULPRIT: The Sharp Brothers (penciller/inkers).

DISSECTION: Spock performs a Vulcan nerve pinch by pressing a guard's shoulder, instead of the base of his neck.

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
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”DIG MY TREADS.”

TITLE: Superman Confidential.

ISSUE: 07.

CULPRIT: Koi Turnbull (penciller).

DISSECTION: Superman's boots are show as if having treaded soles, and even heels. While the heels might be acceptable, it's been widely shown that his boot soles are plain.

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
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”18 AVEC UNE BALLE…”

TITLE: The Boys.

ISSUE: 11.

CULPRIT: Garth Ennis (writer).

DISSECTION: On page 19, The Frenchman says "Un balle...", meaning "A bullet"; but "balle" is a feminine noun in French, so it should be "Une balle...".

DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
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”HORNY WIENER OR HORNYWIENER?”

TITLE: The Boys.

ISSUE: 11.

CULPRIT: Garth Ennis (writer) and/or Simon Bowland (letterer).

DISSECTION: Vas, Butcher's Russian former superhero friend, says first that his codename translated as Love Sausage, but he then says Lovesausage.

DISSECT-O-METER: 1 Bazzar.
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”FANTASTIC CREDIT.”

TITLE: Ultimate Fantastic Four.

ISSUE: 47.

CULPRIT: I'm not really sure who does cover layouts (as in putting in the titles, barcodes, etc, on the art), but I'm betting in this case it's Anthony Dial, who's credited as "Production".

DISSECTION: Thanks to Bored (here's your HDSC badge buddy) for reporting this one; the cover to this issue credits Mark Brooks and Jaime Mendoza for the art, but the first page credits Pasqual Ferry and Justin Ponsor (and I know the pencils and inks inside are Ferry's); when Brooks (and maybe Mendoza) did the cover art, but you don't usually credit cover art on the cover itself.

DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
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”A BULLET THAT CAN’T FLY.”

TITLE: World War III.

ISSUE: 04 of 04.

CULPRIT: Jack Jadson (penciller) or maybe John Ostrander (writer).

DISSECTION: This is an old one that Miss Kitty Fantastico (badge for you buddy), who says "Anyway, got another one for you, from a while back - I did a quick search of the blog, but couldn't find a reference to it. I picked up World War III issue #4 today, just to fill in my Bulleteer collection (just IC #7 and Birds of Prey #100 to go, both of which I'll be getting trades of sooner or later), and seeing as she was the reason I bought it, I noticed the nits rather quickly, on pages 2 and 7 (the entirety of Alix's appearance in the issue, in fact): she's flying, which she can't do. 52 #50 also has her in the air, but I'm inclined to give them the benefit of the doubt - she's in a more leaping kind of pose, and given her powers, it's quite possible she could get up the momentum to take quite a leap. But WW3 has her in what I'd consider very 'I'm flying!' poses, so - assuming Ostrander didn't specify she be in the air (which seems unlikely), Jack Jadson should get, say, 6 Bazzars for that - she's just one of the background players, but whether or not she can fly is a pretty basic fact that an artist doing a group shot should check"

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars it is, then.
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The average for this column is 6.2, pretty up there, I did give out a lot of 10s... Now, I'll have this week's column ready later, like on Saturday... in the meantime, I leave you with the DAYAMN! moment of the week.... Metron has a bed! He actually leaves that chair of his!!!

That's it for now, until next week, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...

THE DISSECTOR!

My Readers Really Make It Worth It.

As you know, I love comments, suggestions, submissions, and even dissection of my own work from the readers. Well, some people haven't noticed at Shotgun Reviews (a fine site with not only comic articles, but music reviews, wrestling, TV, etc) that at the end of each of my columns there I post a link for the comments, and some, like Mean Jeff, realized it later. So here are some comments you might have not read about past columns. Specifically, columns #21, #2, #23, #25, #26, #27, #29, #30, #33, #34, #35, #38, #42, #44.

I also want to highlight some of the comments left, that really, really honor me. Mean Jeff said about column #25: "(...) I love your work, sir. Looking forward to the more frequent postings."

In that case, I'm glad to be delivering almost wekly.

Delvin Williams said about column #29: "(...) you’re the man. You should be an editor at one of the Big 2!"

I'd rather be a writer, but that'd be nice too.

Mean Jeff said about column #3: "Does this column ever get printed beyond the Shotgun site? Because it should. In fact, it should be a Newsarama feature. Not only that but it should be a morning e-mail to every writer/artist that gets their nit picked and every editor in charge of overseeing said writers/artists. They need to learn the errors in their ways. Oh yes, they need to."

My column appears here, and in the ICS; I posted it in Newsarama as a forum topic a couple of times to little success (though I did get noticed by Gail Simone for the first time); and even PMed Matt Brady to offer it, but he gave me no answer. I’ve offered to Wizard and to Knights of the Dinner table; no answer either. I’d love to have it read by all the creators and editors, though. Spread the word.

Thanks all for the kind comments (but please post them in this blog, to keep them centralized)... they're really what make it worth writing this column.

MaGnUs (not The Dissector, you know there is a difference)

The Dissector #44.

DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)

[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]

"Look! Up in the sky! It's... Actually, I don't know who that is!" Anonymous bystander, who doesn't recognize Wonder Girl in her new costume.

No more Nitpicker!!! So, here we are, in the first ever issue of The Dissector, which, nevertheless, is #44. Why? Because I hate unnecessary re-launches and new #1. I like history to show, mileage to be noticed, age to be worn as a badge of distinction. I accepted New Mutants V2, and when I learned to love it, BAM, they rename and renumber it to New X-Men: Academy X, which then gets renamed to just New X-Men. Then we have New Avengers, Flash: The Fastest Man Alive (they made that right again). Batman & The Outsiders, New Excalibur (that fiasco is over too), and I can go on.

Why did I change the name and look of the column? Well, like I said, Phil Farrand and his Nitpicker's Guild had the name first, and I don't want to usurp that. The look doesn't change, but it's enhanced. I keep my English green dominated color scheme, and add that beautiful logo by my dear friend Nysie, which has hints of Victorian mad science, just the way I like it.

We're approaching our second anniversary, because I'm not denying this column's past as the Nitpicker, as well as column #50. The first column was published on November 12, 2005, and on that date this year, I'll have a special column with my favorite nits... err... dissections! That'll be column #48, then #49 will be the regular column for that week; and on the following week, we'll have the 50th column, which will be in addition to that week's column (#51), and will feature the first EVER Autopsy Awards! Yes, I just came up with that...

Here's the deal: from my archives, I'll find out who are the most featured creators in the past two years of column, and award a first place and runner up in each category (writer, artist, colorist, etc). I might give an award for the company with most errors, and the book with most errors. Then I'll select between three and five dissections in each category, and put them to vote between you, my faithful readers (said in my best Stan Lee voice). And, even though they're more recent features, I can also have a best quote and best WTF/DAYAMN moment. What do you all think?

That said, I'm going to start now with this week's column, alright? Last week's Spot The Nit was nailed by Miss Kitty Fantastico; the Riddler's hair should indeed be black, not light brown. So, here's a HDSC badge for ya MKF! From now on, STN will be... no, not STD, I won't go there. It'll be called "Dissect This!", and will have the exact same mechanics as STN. Who's up for some Dissector Picks Of The Week?

My pick for best book of the week is Runaways V2 #28; because I really feel Whedon is growing into this book. Despite some mischaracterization issues with Molly (which I've mentioned before, and mention again later in this column), he seems to get most of the Runaways, particularly Chase and Karolina, who I see as Faith and Willow analogues (yes, I know Nico is the witch here). Plus, even though he can't technically play with the Pride, he still manages to use the kids’ families to give them some problems.

I also enjoy how he portrays the way mutants (or other superhumans) would organize themselves in the early 1900s. What's not to love about heroes with names as Engine, Nightstick, Daystick, Black Maria and Adjudicator (even though they're blatant homages to modern day characters, mostly)? The Engine is my favorite, being a differential engine, punch card spewing, steam-powered robot. That scores high in my book, and you know it.

And the villains? If the presence of the Yorkes (Gert's parents, but from a point in the Runaways' past where they're all still little kids and the Pride is alive) wasn't enough (they now know their daughter buys it in the future, and they'll do everything in their time-traveling hands to stop it), we now have the Witchbreaker, who turns out to be a Minoru! And then there's the Yorkes flunkies, from the strong guy whose name I can't remember, to Morphine (a mad doctor/chemist),. Kid Twist (an Irish mobster looking pistolero), and my favorite, Forget-Me-Not, a temptress with the power to release pheromones (apparently) that drive men wild, and who seems to live in a permanent state of orgasm.

And the art? Well, it's not my cup of tea, but it's flawless. It's not Michael Ryan's fault that I don't like it that much, his pencils are excellent, perfectly suited to this book. It's Christina Strain's colors, which makes the book look to manga for my taste... and yes, this has always been the case with Runaways. that doesn't stop me from thoroughly enjoying the book, and being glad now that it seems that Whedon has finally "clicked" with it.

So what's the worse book of the week then? Simply put, Fantastic Four #550 is a most disappointing end to an otherwise irrelevant and unoriginal plot that seems stolen from a bad Star Trek episode. Dwayne McDuffie's script is bland, and Paul Pelletier's art, while correct, does nothing for me, coupled with the fact that Paul Mounts' colors are bland and too bright. Let's get started with this week's dissections (and the first to be called thus):
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""ACME BRAND."

TITLE: Batman Confidential.

ISSUE: 10.

CULPRIT: Michael Green (writer) and/or Denys Cowan (penciller).

DISSECTION: I'm still frothing about this Joker origin story, but never mind. Still, I kind of doubt that a former chemical plant that manufactured legal drugs will have a giant vat labeled "anti-psychotics".

DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
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"WHO NEEDS MAPS?""

TITLE: Black Adam: The Dark Age.

ISSUE: 03 of 06.

CULPRIT: Peter J. Tomasi (writer) and/or Nick J. Napolitano (letterer).

DISSECTION: On page 9, Talia Head is shown as being somewhere of the coast of "Gilbralter", which should be "Gibraltar".

DISSECT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars.
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"DYE IS POPULAR IN THE DC UNIVERSE."

TITLE: Black Adam: The Dark Age.

ISSUE: 03 of 06.

CULPRIT: Nathan Eyring (colorist).

DISSECTION: Hal Jordan's hair is colored black on page 20, as is Vixen's, instead of Brown.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars, it could be odd lighting, so I'll just count it as one.
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"HE BUILT HIS EMPIRE, DOOR TO DOOR."

TITLE: Booster Gold V2.

ISSUE: 03.

CULPRIT: Geoff Johns & Jeff Katz (writers).

DISSECTION: Pages 6 and 7 state that Lionel Luthor (Lex's father) was a traveling salesman, when the current origin for Lex (Countdown #34, also available on DC's website) states that he was a "mogul". Now, I know this is an alternate reality, a possible timeline change that Rip is telling about, so that's why this gets a lower rating that it could.

DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
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"THE BRAVE AND THE BALD."

TITLE: Booster Gold V2.

ISSUE: 03.

CULPRIT: Dan Jurgens (layouts) and/or Norm Rapmund (finishes).

DISSECTION: Again, alternate reality and all that, but Lex is shown as completely bald from his teenage years, when his current origin shows that he lost his hair over the course of the years, still having hair into his adulthood.

DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"GOD, WHY?"

TITLE: Booster Gold V2.

ISSUE: 03.

CULPRIT: Dan Jurgens (layouts) and/or Norm Rapmund (finishes).

DISSECTION: Same spread, Lionel Luthor Jr.'s grave (that is, Superman in this alternate timeline) reads "LUTHER".

DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars, this is on par of web forum posters writing "Luther", "Emporer", "Klenons" and "Rouge". I just considered using this as a Dissect This!, but it was too easy.
<-------------------------------->
"IT'S MORE KUNG-FUEY THIS WAY."

TITLE: Countdown.

ISSUE: 29.

CULPRIT: Ian Churchill (cover penciller).

DISSECTION: Karate kid is, for some reason, barefoot on the cover, when he wears boots as part of his costume.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"ONE GIRL, MULTIPLE COSTUMES."

TITLE: Countdown.

ISSUE: 29.

CULPRIT: Ian Churchill (cover penciller).

DISSECTION: Again the cover, Una has a different cape clasp and belt that her costume has had before.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"BLUE, PURPLE, WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE?"

TITLE: Countdown.

ISSUE: 29.

CULPRIT: Thomas Chu (colorist).

DISSECTION: I still haven't opened the book, and there's more errors to be found. Una's costume is YET AGAIN colored blue instead of purple.

DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"GREEN, MUTABLE COLOR."

TITLE: Countdown.

ISSUE: 29.

CULPRIT: Manuel García (penciller).

DISSECTION: Kyle Rayner's costume keeps shifting ever so slightly.

DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"SOME CLONES GROW FASTER THAN OTHERS."

TITLE: Countdown.

ISSUE: 29.

CULPRIT: Manuel García (penciller).

DISSECTION: Jimmy Olsen runs into the Newsboy Legion, but the character heights are wrong. By this time, the Newsboys should be teenagers (at least physically), some of them maybe into their late twenties. However, the "younger" members (Scrapper and Gabby, if I'm not mistaken, and where's Flip, by the way?) look like midgets when compared to the "older" members (Big Words and Tommy, if I'm right).

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"HAIR ON!"

TITLE: Fantastic Four V1.

ISSUE: 550.

CULPRIT: Paul Pelletier (penciller).

DISSECTION: Johnny Storm's haircut is different than what it should be.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"BLACK OR BLUE?"

TITLE: Fantastic Four V1.

ISSUE: 550.

CULPRIT: Paul Mounts (colorist).

DISSECTION: I had discarded this one until the Guvnor Paul C also pointed it out, and I took a second look. On the first page of story, Ben and Johnny's costumes are blue, and afterwards, they're black, as they're supposed to be. I'm going to award the Guvnor a HDSC badge here.

DISSECT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars, it just might be a question of lighting.
<-------------------------------->
"YEAH, I HAVE CONTIGENCY PLANS FOR GALACTUS, BUT AFTER HIM, MY COSMIC KNOWLEDGE IS ZERO."

TITLE: Fantastic Four V1.

ISSUE: 550.

CULPRIT: Dwayne McDuffie (writer).

DISSECTION: Black Panther doesn't know who Eternity is, which is kind of doubtful.

DISSECT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"YOU DO KNOW SHE'S NOT A REAL GODDESS, RIGHT?"

TITLE: Fantastic Four V1.

ISSUE: 550.

CULPRIT: Dwayne McDuffie (writer).

DISSECTION: In order to fix reality, Dr. Strange has to operate on Eternity, placing his essence in another being's essence as a method of life support. He says that only himself (Strange) and Storm have the strength of spirit to survive that. What? Where does this come from? I can see Strange being able to house Eternity’s essence at least for a little while, as cosmically trained as he is, but Storm? What? You don't think that maybe, uhm... the Silver Surfer (who's also there) could do it better than Storm? Please.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"DIPLOMATIC MATTERS."

TITLE: Fantastic Four V1.

ISSUE: 550.

CULPRIT: Dwayne McDuffie (writer).

DISSECTION: At the end of the book, Sue Richards mentions that the Wakandan embassy in Washington, D.C. is available for T'Challa and Storm to live in... but again, as we've mentioned before, you can't have two embassies in the same country. An embassy and many consulates in the country's most important cities, yes, but not more than one embassy in the same country.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars, Sue could be mistaken, and it's a consulate.
<-------------------------------->
"KOLCHAK, IS THAT YOU?"

TITLE: Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man.

ISSUE: 24.

CULPRIT: J. Michael Straczynski (writer) and/or Chris Eliopoulos (letterer, if he lettered the cover).

DISSECTION: Thanks to the Guvnor for pointing this one out (another badge for him); the creatures that "guard time" or something like that, are called "Nightstalkers" on the cover, but "Nightwalkers" inside the book.

DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"AUNT MAY IS BEYOND HOPE, WE GET IT."

TITLE: Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man.

ISSUE: 24.

CULPRIT: J. Michael Straczynski (writer).

DISSECTION: Spider-Man searches for options to cure May, and one of the people he visits is the X-Men's Beast, to no avail. Again, are you telling me that Elixir can't heal may? He's restored Wolfsbane powers and brought a teammate back from death after his heart had been ripped out, by making him grow a new heart. And he can't heal Aunt May? Bullshit.

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"YEAH, I BEEN TOOK CARED OF THAT BIZZATCH!"

TITLE: Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man.

ISSUE: 24.

CULPRIT: Jonathan Couper-Smartt, Mike Fichera & Peter Sanderson (writers for the Mary Jane Profile).

DISSECTION: On MJ's profile, it says that she "took cared" of her cousin.

DISSECT-O-METER: 2 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"WHO CARES HOW IT'S SPELLED?"

TITLE: Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man.

ISSUE: 24.

CULPRIT: Jonathan Couper-Smartt, Mike Fichera & Peter Sanderson (writers for the Mary Jane Profile).

DISSECTION: The aforementioned cousin is called Kristie, then on the next line it's spelled Kristy. Yet another Guvnor spotted dissection, and yet another badge for the man.

DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars, it's the next freaking line.
<-------------------------------->
"WARDROBE MALFUNCTION."

TITLE: Gene Simmons' Dominatrix.

ISSUE: 02.

CULPRIT: Flavio Hoffe and/or Impacto Studios (artists)

DISSECTION: This one was spotted by Miss Kitty Fantastico, and I quote him "In issue #1 Dominique's outfit took some damage during the opening stage of her fight with lingerie ninja girl - the mask is torn beneath her right eye, and both gloves are looking a bit the worse for wear. At the start of #2 the damage to her mask has moved (albeit to her forehead, which is where she got kicked in #1), and it and the tears on her gloves vanish by page 4. Granted she just acquired superpowers from some pills, but I don't think costume repair is meant to be one of them. I'd call it a 6 - it doesn't ruin the issue or anything, but it could have easily been avoided."

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"TIME AND TIME AGAIN."

TITLE: Green Arrow / Black Canary.

ISSUE: 01.

CULPRIT: Judd Winick (writer).

DISSECTION: In what seems to be a retelling of their first encounter, Green Arrow mentions that he's a big fan of Black Canary's mother, but in her mini, only a few months ago, he said he thought she was her mother.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"I'M WEARING MY SPARES."

TITLE: Green Arrow / Black Canary.

ISSUE: 01.

CULPRIT: Cliff Chiang (penciller).

DISSECTION: Black Canary's gloves and boots are not drawn correctly.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"I'M DRINKING TOO MUCH."

TITLE: Green Arrow / Black Canary.

ISSUE: 01.

CULPRIT: Trish Mulvihill (colorist).

DISSECTION: Speedy's eyes are blue, yet on page eleven they're mysteriously colored yellow.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"I LIKE THIS OUTFIT BETTER, SO I IMAGINED MYSELF IN IT."

TITLE: Green Arrow / Black Canary.

ISSUE: 01.

CULPRIT: Cliff Chiang (penciller).

DISSECTION: On page 13 Black Canary remembers her wedding night, but the lingerie Chiang drew doesn't mach what she wore on the Wedding Special.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"MULTIPLE FRONTS."

TITLE: Green Lantern V4.

ISSUE: 24.

CULPRIT: Geoff Johns (writer) and/or Ivan Reis (penciller).

DISSECTION: The Justice League is shown battling Manhunters while Sinestro and his lanterns, along with Tom Welling Prime (I saw this denomination for him somewhere and loved it) are arriving on Earth. Superman, Batman, and Wonder Woman are there, but they weren't in the Cyborg Superman special from the previous week, in fact, Superman was fighting the Cyborg.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"I CAN'T FLY!!!"

TITLE: JLA: Classified.

ISSUE: 44.

CULPRIT: Justin Gray (writer).

DISSECTION: Get ready, for this book is one big dissection. Let's start by the fact that Flash asks for Martian Manhunter's help to go up a few feet in the air, when he's been shown to use his speed to create whirlwinds to carry him up and stuff like that.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"I KEEP CHANGING MY COSTUME DESIGN AT SUPERSPEED TO ANNOY PEOPLE."

TITLE: JLA: Classified.

ISSUE: 44.

CULPRIT: Rick Leonardi (penciller).

DISSECTION: Flash (Wally West) is in this issue, and his lightning bolt keeps shifting, sometimes it's joined (pointing down to his crotch), sometimes it's not joined, at some points it loses the serrated edges. Look at this page below, Leonardi, can't you at least keep things consistent within the same page?

It keeps getting worse all through the issue.

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"NOW YOU SEE THEM, NOW YOU DON'T!"

TITLE: JLA: Classified.

ISSUE: 44.

CULPRIT: Rick Leonardi (penciller).

DISSECTION: God, look at the third panel from the above page, not only is Flash's belt missing, his glove lightnings are gone! Same on page 18!

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"DON'T LOOK AT ME!"

TITLE: JLA: Classified.

ISSUE: 44.

CULPRIT: Rick Leonardi (penciller) and I.L.L. (colorist).

DISSECTION: Damn, his mask covers his entire face! And the same on page 18!

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"NOT FLASH."

TITLE: JLA: Classified.

ISSUE: 44.

CULPRIT: Rick Leonardi (penciller).

DISSECTION: Whoa, his chest emblem is blank! And it's gone again on the next page! And on page 16! And on the statue on page 18! I'll quit it with the exclamation marks!

DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"I KNOW HE'S A SHAPESHIFTER, BUT..."

TITLE: JLA: Classified.

ISSUE: 44.

CULPRIT: Rick Leonardi (penciller).

DISSECTION: I'm done with Wally, but look at that panel again, what the hell is up with J'onn's right shoulder?

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"YOU KNOW, DYES AND THE DCU."

TITLE: JLA: Classified.

ISSUE: 44.

CULPRIT: I.L.L. (colorist).

DISSECTION: Wally's hair is colored blond instead of red during the whole issue.

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"MARTIAN MEMORY IS SCREWY LIKE THAT."

TITLE: JLA: Classified.

ISSUE: 44.

CULPRIT: Justin Gray (writer) and/or Rick Leonardi (penciller).

DISSECTION: On page 12, J'onn's brother talks about Starro and the re-formation of the Justice League, and shows Superman, Green Lantern (Hal Jordan) and Orion fighting Starro. To my knowledge, and backed up by my research, Orion never faced Starro, but the Star Conqueror. Furthermore, Orion and Hal Jordan have never been members of the League at the same time.

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"FIRST TIME! NOT REALLY...."

TITLE: JLA: Classified.

ISSUE: 44.

CULPRIT: Rick Leonardi (penciller).

DISSECTION: See if you can Dissect This!


DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"NOT HAWKMAN!"

TITLE: JLA: Classified.

ISSUE: 44.

CULPRIT: Rick Leonardi (penciller).

DISSECTION: Same page, Hawkman's missing his chest emblem. Argh!

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"WE ASKED HER TO WEAR THE FISHNETS THAT ONE TIME."

TITLE: JLA: Classified.

ISSUE: 44.

CULPRIT: Rick Leonardi (penciller).

DISSECTION: Page sixteen shows Black Canary in the Bwa-Ha-Ha League when it's first formed, and she's wearing her classic costume, when she wore her "dance outfit" during that period.

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. Eleven dissections on a single book. Wow.
<-------------------------------->
"DA-DA-DA DE-DE-DE."

TITLE: Runaways V2.

ISSUE: 28.

CULPRIT: Joss Whedon (writer).

DISSECTION: *Sigh* I already ranted on this before, and on this same column: Joss Whedon is a good writer, and he's getting the hang of Runaways... except for Molly. Joss, she's supposed to be around 12, not five, she shouldn't be saying things as "extra-trestal". Although, with kids being how they are these days, I'll buy that she thinks that "Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds" is a song from around 1907.

DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"HALF A QUESTION MASK."

TITLE: Star Trek: Alien Spotlight: The Gorn.

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: David Messina (artist).

DISSECTION: Are these Star Trek books going to be remembered as "Star Trek: Comic Books: Overuse Of: Colons: To The Infinite: Overdrive?" But I digress, this was a good first Alien Spotlight, even though there's not much to the gorn to spot a light on. They're just reptilian Klingons. The art is acceptable, if not to my liking, although it suffers from the same ailment that all IDW Star Trek comics are suffering: poorly detailed art. The worst case is this panel, and look at Chekov:

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars, dammit, where the hell are his eyes?
<-------------------------------->
"GEE, IF ONLY WE HAD A SPACE COP IN THE TEAM!"

TITLE: Superman.

ISSUE: 668.

CULPRIT: Kurt Busiek (writer).

DISSECTION: Superman captures some Dominators experimenting on humans, and then damages their ship, leaving them with enough power for-life support. He sets them adrift in space, saying that "the Justice League will contact the appropriate interstellar authorities". Or, you could just, you know, call a Green Lantern yourself, couldn't you Clark?

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"YOU SURE TRAIN THEM WELL, RIGHT BATMAN?"

TITLE: Superman.

ISSUE: 668.

CULPRIT: Kurt Busiek (writer).

DISSECTION: Superman and Chris Kent (God, I don't know if I like that name, or if I find it too cheesy) fly into the Batcave, and since the biometric sensors of the place don't have the youngest Kryptonian registered yet, the alarm goes off. Apart from the fact that I don't think Bats would set an alarm to go "BLANGBLANGBLANGBLANGBLANGBLANG", Robin goes "AAHH! THE PERIMETER ALARM!" This is Robin, Mr. Busiek, he wouldn't scream like an old lady, he'd be on his feet and ready to defend the cave against intruders.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"SUPERMAN AND HIS DOLL SON."
TITLE: Superman.

ISSUE: 668.

CULPRIT: Rick Leonardi (penciller).

DISSECTION: Look at this panel below. Rick, haven't we talked about details?


Superman has no nose, his eyes are dark pits, and Chris looks like a freaking blow-up doll!

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"THIS IS A DISSECION."

TITLE: Superman.

ISSUE: 668.

CULPRIT: Kurt Busiek (writer) and/or Comicraft (letterer).

DISSECTION: On the final panel of page seventeen, Superman says "stating" instead of "starting".

DISSECT-O-METER: 1 Bazzar.
<-------------------------------->
"THEY'RE STREET CLOTHES, FOR ZEUS SAKE!"

TITLE: Wonder Girl.

ISSUE: 01 of 08.

CULPRIT: J. Torres (writer).

DISSECTION: Good book so far, I'm sure Miss Kitty Fantastico would like it. But the dissection her is that Cassie's outfit gets trashed, and she decides to wear the costume (battle armor) that Hercules gave her, as if she didn't go through a dozen costumes a month while battling evil, and doesn't any left. I don't buy it much. I do agree with Hercules that she needed a new costume that wasn't just jeans and a tank top.

DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"THE GODS STOLE HER FACE!"

TITLE: Wonder Girl.

ISSUE: 01 of 08.

CULPRIT: Sanford Greene (penciller).

DISSECTION: On page 18, Cassie is lacking a face in the first panel.

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars, people please DRAW FACES!
<-------------------------------->
"AND THIS IS A DISSECTOIN."

TITLE: Wonder Girl.

ISSUE: 01 of 08.

CULPRIT: J. Torres (writer) and/or Phil Balsman (letterer).

DISSECTION: Hercules says "sheild" instead of "shield" on page 19.

DISSECT-O-METER: 1 Bazzar.
<-------------------------------->
"SHE'S JUST A MERE MORTAL."

TITLE: Wonder Girl.

ISSUE: 01 of 08.

CULPRIT: J. Torres (writer).

DISSECTION: Cassandra says on page 20 "My family is the Teen Titans! My family are Diana and Donna!" Uhm... what about your mom, Cassie?

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"TWINDOW TWINDOW (NOT-SO) LITTLE STARS."

TITLE: Wonder Woman V3.

ISSUE: Annual 01.

CULPRIT: Terry Dodson (penciller) and Alex Sinclair (colorist).

DISSECTION: This one is a leftover from a few weeks ago. Ending spread of the main story, pages 24-25, Power Girl's costume is wrong, she has cleavage up from her neck, while her costume is closed on the top of her torso, with a twindow (you figure that one out) that allows you to see the, uhm... goods. After a lenghty discussion with Miss Kitty Fantastico (see here, I've agreed that it's also Sinclair's fault for not coloring it as he should.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"I'M JUST ANOTHER STRIPPER, THE REAL VIXEN IS BUSY."

TITLE: Wonder Woman V3.

ISSUE: 13.

CULPRIT: Julian Lopez (penciller).

DISSECTION: On page seventeen, Vixen's costume is wrong, she's not even wearing the Tantu Totem.

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"WELL, WHAT DO YOU KNOW, DYES ARE ALSO POPULAR IN THE MARVEL UNIVERSE TOO."

TITLE: X-Men: Die By The Sword.

ISSUE: 01 of 05.

CULPRIT: Rob Ro (colorist).

DISSECTION: So, did we really need a separate mini for an Excalibur / Exiles crossover? We couldn't do it inside one of those books? Well, I guess Exiles is already busy with... whatever the hell Claremont is doing with the book, and New Excalibur just got cancelled. Plus, why do it in a low profile book like Excalibur and Exiles, which only have an "x" as the second letter in their titles (well, fifth in New Excalibur), when you can have a mini that has "X-Men" as part of the title? Who cares if only half of the characters are actually X-Men, and then many of them are from alternate Earths?

Anyway, as unfulfilling as this first issue was, Claremont didn't make any errors this time. However, even if Juan Santacruz manages to make Psylocke look Asian, Ro colors her hair black, not purple, as her hair usually is dyed.

DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
Wow, that was a long column, with 50 dissections, and a (un)healthy rating of 6.2 Bazzars. Seeing as to how this was a long column, I'll go straight to the DAYAMN! moment of the week. It comes from Green Lantern V4 #24, and while it was a good issue, it didn't make pick of the week for best book. However, it did get best moment of the week, in a sequence that made me very happy.

Hal Jordan, John Stewart and Guy Gardner free Kyle Rayner from Parallax, and the Guardians Sayd and Ganthet imprison the creature inside the earthmen's power batteries (Guy's has a Michigan State sticker!). Kyle takes back his ring, and they all recite their oath together... I was so moved, that I recited the oath out loud along with them. Take a look:

Damn cool indeed. That's it for now, until next week, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...

THE DISSECTOR!

The Nitpicker Is No More! Long Live The Dissector!

Dissect: 2. to analyze and interpret minutely.

The Nitpicker doesn't exist anymore, but as you can see, it's not really gone, just renamed and with a new look. Now it's called The Dissector, and the best thing about the new look is that snazzy logo designed by my lovely and talented friend Nysie. Thank you Nysie, you now have the honorary rank of Admiral in the newly renamed Honorary Dissector Scout Corps... so it's doubly honorary...

The layout and colors haven't changed, I just made the central column wider so there's more text per line. Of course, anything named after The Nitpicker will have its named changed to reflect the new name. If you are coming in through the old address, you'll see that it auto-redirects you to the new site. I don't know what'll happen with feed subscriptions, but since I made a post on the old address that includes the link, you'll know to update your subscriptions accordingly.

Why the change? Well, almost accidentally I learned of the existence of Phil Farrand, the Nitpicker's Guild, and Nitcentral. Phil and his band have been doing what I do for comics, but TV shows and movies, mostly science fiction. He started in 1993 with Star Trek TNG, and the Guild has been finding plotholes and mistakes in shows ranging from Monthy Pithon to Dragon Ball.

I didn't feel it was right of me to use the name I did when these guys had started more than a decade before I did, and I'm in no way associated with them. Furthermore, the image I was using as a logo didn't look very professional, and it only featured a Marvel character, when this column is about any and all comics I get my hands on.

Don't fear, the quality won't decline, I will in fact strive to perfect my craft everyday. Thanks for reading.

Creator sighting!

Patrick Gleason, talented artist for the nerdgasming Green Lantern Corps, admits to his guilt in the comments section of last column.

The Nitpicker #43.

DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)

[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]

"Whafukupmudafuka?" Pony Moore aka "Mushmouth", meaning "How are you doing, Iron?", in Iron And The Maiden #3.

Welcome to this week's column, right on time, if I might say. That jewel up there is an example of exaggerated Ebonics, and I just loved the whole sequence where Pony's dialogue is subtitled. Before letting you know what the picks are this week, I need to say that last column I had a nit called ""BART WHO? I'M JUST A STRIPPER WITH MY SKIN PAINTED ORANGE.", about the Green Arrow-Black Canary Wedding special, where I mentioned that I only rated it as a 7 because I couldn't see Starfire using her powers... well, I had another look at the issue and she is indeed seen flying around, flaming tamarafro blazing. So it goes up to a ten, which raises the average for that column to 6.1. Not much, but it needed to be said.

The Nitpicker's Pick Of The Week of 10/03 for best book is issue #10 of Scalped. While this book has shown a high (and consistent) quality throughout the whole run so far, this issue was the first to depart a little from The Sopranos In A Reservation, and fully focus on the "little people". I've seen mixed reviews from Native Americans on this book, but as far as I can tell, Jason Aaron writes a compelling and basically correct picture of how things happen in Indian Country. Yes, he might embellish the organized crime part of it, but if he didn't we wouldn't have a work of fiction, would we?

R.M. Guera's art, as always, helped by Giulia Brusco's colors, provides the gritty ambience the story needs. I know that if we need a new writer for Hellblazer, Aaron might be the guy for it, and Guera could do the art if (I hope not) Leonardo Manco ever drops that book. Back on the topic of life on a reservation, I've been listening to some Native American hip hop, and I particularly recommend Canadian band War Party. And the worst issue of the week is Exiles #99. Really Chris Claremont, did you have to spend an entire issue on this?

As for last column's Spot The Nit, nobody got it, and it was so simple. Queen Clea is an Atlantean, who should have fins on the back of her lower legs. No HNSC badges this time around. Speaking of the HNSC, here's a rundown of the Corps, and the amount of badges each member holds. Grand Admiral: MaGnUs (N/A), Lieutenants: Miss Kitty Fantastico (9), Ensigns: Roy (4), Bea (3), Dominik B. (3), The Guvnor Paul C (2), Matt Brady (1), Paul O'Brien (1), Trasgo (1), Tylo (1), Mean Jeff (1), Ilustr8r (1), leahcim (1), TokerTheKid (1), Paul O'Brien (1). Keep it guys; Roy, two more badges and you'll make Lieutenant!

Alright, time for the nits.
<-------------------------------->
“I DIG THIS CITY, HOWEVER YOU SPELL ITS NAME."

TITLE: The All-New Atom.

ISSUE: 16.

CULPRIT: Roger Stern (writer) and/or John J. Hill (letterer).

NIT-TO-PICK: On page 10, Panda says "Ivytown" instead of "Ivy Town".

NIT-O-METER: 1 Bazzars, it could be a colloquialism.
<-------------------------------->
“STRING THEORY."

TITLE: Countdown.

ISSUE: 30.

CULPRIT: Ian Churchill (cover penciller), Elisabeth Gehrlein & Jeanine Schaefer (assistant editors), and Mike Carlin & Mike Marts (editors).

NIT-TO-PICK: Now, I was just checking out the cover to write up some nits I found, and I just noticed that it's got two intersecting circles, colored blue, and bearing the number 15... signaling that the Challengers From Beyond visit Earth 15... but they didn't do that for the last two Earths they visited. Nevertheless, that's not a nit, but the fact that Donna Troy is wielding a lasso on the cover, is. She hasn't used one in a long time (excepting the time she used one to go to Wonder Woman's aid in the annual we commented last column), nor she wields one inside the book.

NIT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
“GROWING GREENERY."

TITLE: Countdown.

ISSUE: 30.

CULPRIT: Ian Churchill (cover penciller), Elisabeth Gehrlein & Jeanine Schaefer (assistant editors), and Mike Carlin & Mike Marts (editors).

NIT-TO-PICK: Kyle Rayner's costume keeps shifting ever so-slightly. Yes, I know it's created by his ring, but still.

NIT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
“HAL RAYNER."

TITLE: Countdown.

ISSUE: 30.

CULPRIT: Ian Churchill (cover penciller), Elisabeth Gehrlein & Jeanine Schaefer (assistant editors), and Mike Carlin & Mike Marts (editors).

NIT-TO-PICK: Kyle Rayner's counterpart in the cover is Hal Jordan, not Earth-15 Kyle as inside the book.

NIT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
“I HAD TO LOOK MY BEST ON THE COVER."

TITLE: Countdown.

ISSUE: 30.

CULPRIT: Ian Churchill (cover penciller), Elisabeth Gehrlein & Jeanine Schaefer (assistant editors), and Mike Carlin & Mike Marts (editors).

NIT-TO-PICK: Jason's clothes, particularly his pants and boots, as well as his mask, are different to what he wears inside the book.

NIT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
“THESE ARE MY DRESS GOGGLES."

TITLE: Countdown.

ISSUE: 30.

CULPRIT: Tom Chu (colorist).

NIT-TO-PICK: On page 4, Plastic Man's goggles are colored yellow instead of white.

NIT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
“RIDDLE ME THIS..."

TITLE: Detective Comics.

ISSUE: 837.

CULPRIT: John Kalisz (colorist).

NIT-TO-PICK: Alright, this one's easy, what's wrong with this picture?

NIT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
“SCROUNGING NEW GOD."

TITLE: Detective Comics.

ISSUE: 837.

CULPRIT: Paul Dini (writer).

NIT-TO-PICK: A good story, but why would Desaad need WayneTech technology when he has access to Apokoliptian science. Is he hiding stuff from Darkseid? Well, he's done so in the past without the need to use terran technology. Well, he might want to cause some mischief that leads to earthly culprit.

NIT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
“BATMAN IS GOOD AT RIDDLES..."

TITLE: Detective Comics.

ISSUE: 837.

CULPRIT: Paul Dini (writer).

NIT-TO-PICK: At the end, all the dialogue seems to point to the fact that Batman was trying to test the Riddler's abandonment of his villanous ways. However, he says "Riddler knew the fee he'd collect from Wayne was more than he'd get trying to fence the serum.", which would only make sense if he said "less than..."

NIT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars, you can still pick it up from the context.
<-------------------------------->
“ITNEVERHAPPENED!"

TITLE: Exiles.

ISSUE: 99.

CULPRIT: Mark Paniccia (editor) and/or Nathan Cosby & Jordan D. White (assistant editors).

NIT-TO-PICK: The recap page mentions Morph without no indication as to the fact that he is in fact, Proteus.

NIT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
“AN ALIEN FROM THE PLANET TWIGGIA."

TITLE: Green Lantern Corps V2.

ISSUE: 16.

CULPRIT: Patrick Gleason (penciller).

NIT-TO-PICK: Salakk looks nothing like he should on the cover, for one, his arms are too skinny.

NIT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
“CREDIT DUE, WITH PROPER SPELLING."

TITLE: Green Lantern Corps V2.

ISSUE: 16.

CULPRIT: Eddie Berganza (editor), Adam Schlagman (assistant editor), and/or Phil Balsman (letterer).

NIT-TO-PICK: On page 2, on the credits, one of the inkers is credited as "Vincente" Cifuentes, when his name is Vicente. Furthermore, the name "Vincente" doesn't even exist. Cifuentes himself said to me "Easy, I'm already used to being named anything from "Vincente" to "Vincent"... it's the issue with having a name that's got different spellings in other languages. Pascual Ferry got named "Pascal"... hehe... things like this happen. (...) I don't really pay much attention to it, it's happened to big names before me, but thanks anyway for mentioning this incident on your blog."

NIT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. I do pay attention to it Vicente.
<-------------------------------->
“HEY, A MAN'S GOTTA LOOK GOOD EVEN IN BATTLE!"

TITLE: Green Lantern Corps V2.

ISSUE: 16.

CULPRIT: Patrick Gleason (penciller).

NIT-TO-PICK: On page 4, Vath's right sleeve is completely shredded, only a few swirls of cloth cover his shoulder. Then, by page seven, his sleeve is unscathed.

NIT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars, yes, he could have fixed the costume with his ring, but seeing as to how they're in the middle of combat, I don't buy it much.
<-------------------------------->
“OH, IS THAT HIS REAL NAME? I SEE, THAT'S WHY WE NEED TO BE READY IF HE GOES NUTS!"

TITLE: Green Lantern Corps V2.

ISSUE: 16.

CULPRIT: Dave Gibbons (writer) and/or Phil Balsman (letterer).

NIT-TO-PICK: On page five, Isamot Kol refers to Sodam Yat as Sodom. Ouch.

NIT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
“BLEEDING RED."

TITLE: Green Lantern Corps V2.

ISSUE: 16.

CULPRIT: Guy Major (colorist).

NIT-TO-PICK: There is a blue skinned alien on page seven, who's bleeding red blood.

NIT-O-METER: 2 Bazzars, possible, but unlikely.
<-------------------------------->
“FREEZE VISION?"

TITLE: Green Lantern Corps V2.

ISSUE: 16.

CULPRIT: Guy Major (colorist).

NIT-TO-PICK: Up to page eleven, Sodam Yat's eyes are green, then they turn blue, only to be green again by page 19.

NIT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
“OH NO, THE POOR SUPERBEING IS GETTING HIMSELF KILLED!"

TITLE: Green Lantern Corps V2.

ISSUE: 16.

CULPRIT: Dave Gibbons (writer).

NIT-TO-PICK: Arisia is suprised to see that Sodam Yat survives an onslaught by several Sinestro corpsmen and Manhunters, of an intensity that presumably his ring wouldn't stop. She shouldn't be surprised that a Daxamite has Superman-like powers under a yellow sun.

NIT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
“GIVING YOU THE FINGERS."

TITLE: Green Lantern Corps V2.

ISSUE: 16.

CULPRIT: Patrick Gleason (penciller) and Guy Major (colorist).

NIT-TO-PICK: On page 17, just for one panel, Salakk's right hand glove is fingerless. Even if they've shown him ocassionally wearing fingerless gloves, on the cover, and the rest of the book, his gloves have fingers.

NIT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
“STAR TREK BADGES AGAIN..."

TITLE: Star Trek: Year Four.

ISSUE: 03.

CULPRIT: Gordon Purcell (penciller/inker)

NIT-TO-PICK: Wow, this issue's art was actually good... or at least of a professional quality, if not of my particular predilection. Every single face is drawn, no matter how far away from the "camera", and almost every single department symbol is drawn on the insignias, except for the ones that are too small to actually see without zooming in. There is a Star Trek God... unless Steve Conley returns next issue. Only one problem, though, and it's that Nurse Chapel wears an insignia with a red cross, instead of the correct medical/science circle with two lines.

NIT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars, I couldn't find any picture where we could actually see her badge, but I'm pretty sure it would be as I said.
<-------------------------------->
“SAN ANTONIO, TEXAS, HOME TO MANY SPANIARDS."

TITLE: Super-Villain Team-Up: Modok's 11.

ISSUE: 04 of 05.

CULPRIT: Fred Van Lente (writer).

NIT-TO-PICK: Armadillo says, on page nine, "¿Qué coño es eso?", which is like saying "What the fuck is that?" Now, kudos to Van Lente for using the opening question mark and the tilde in the first word, as well as the ñ; but "coño" is not a word that's common, in Mexico, they would most likely say "¿Qué madres es eso?" Coño is used in Spain, and some Centro American countries, and while Armadillo was born in San Antonio, Texas, he is of Hispanic descent, and it's very likely that his roots are Mexican.

NIT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
“I'M A LITTLE BLUE..."

TITLE: Supergirl V5.

ISSUE: 22.

CULPRIT: Renato Guedes & Rod Reis (colorists).

NIT-TO-PICK: Una's costume is colored in a different shade of purple, almost blue.

NIT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
“I TORE THEM WHEN JUMPING FROM THE TRAIN."

TITLE: Supergirl V5.

ISSUE: 22.

CULPRIT: Renato Guedes (penciller).

NIT-TO-PICK: Una's costume is different than it should be, I'll ignore the fact that she still has the belt and bracers, since they've kept that consistent from the moment they changed it; however, her boots now have holes on the sides, as in Duo Damsel's old seventies costume, a feature Una's costume did not include.

NIT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
“DRUNKEN VISIONS."

TITLE: Supergirl V5.

ISSUE: 22.

CULPRIT: Renato Guedes (penciller/colorist) & Rod Reis (colorist).

NIT-TO-PICK: On the double page spread where Supergirl remembers the "threeboot" Legion, the legionnaire's costumes (and their physical looks, to a smaller degree) are slightly different, in both design and color. I'm willing to consider it a single nit, and give it a low rating, because it's a dream sequence of sorts.

NIT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
“PEOPLE ALWAYS LOOK WORSE THAN YOU ACTUALLY REMEMBER."

TITLE: Tales Of The Sinestro Corps: Cyborg Superman.

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: Patrick Blaine (penciller).

NIT-TO-PICK: On the flashbacks, Terri Henshaw (the Cyborg's wife) appears differently than what she looked like back on Adventures of Superman #466, the issue the flashbacks are referencing. Specifically, her hair is the wrong length, and the shape of her body is completely different (T&A, anyone?). I understand art styles have changed, but if you're doing flashbacks, do them right.

NIT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars. Check for the other guys.
<-------------------------------->
“THE RADIATION DYED IT!"

TITLE: Tales Of The Sinestro Corps: Cyborg Superman.

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: David Curiel (colorist).

NIT-TO-PICK: Terri's hair is correctly colored red for most of the flashbacks, except for page eight, where she suddenly turns brunette.

NIT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars, could be a lighting thing.
<-------------------------------->
“YEP, SAME ONE PA KENT USES."

TITLE: Tales Of The Sinestro Corps: Cyborg Superman.

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: David Curiel (colorist).

NIT-TO-PICK: On page fifteen, the JLAers on the Watchtower are shown, and apart from the HORRIBLE faces, Red Arrow's hair is colored blond, instead of red, only to be red by the next page.

NIT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
“STILL THE SAME BRAND."

TITLE: Tales Of The Sinestro Corps: Cyborg Superman.

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: David Curiel (colorist).

NIT-TO-PICK: Same page, Vixen's hair is colored light brown, when it's actually dark brown, almost black.

NIT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
“SHIT, SO THAT'S WHY MY POWERS ARE SCREWY!"

TITLE: Tales Of The Sinestro Corps: Cyborg Superman.

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: Patrick Blaine (penciller).

NIT-TO-PICK: Vixen is not wearing her Totem Tantu! She's just wearing some cheapass ethnic-looking necklaces!

NIT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
“NOTHING UP MY SLEEVES, AT LEAST NOT THE RIGHT COLOR."

TITLE: Tales Of The Sinestro Corps: Cyborg Superman.

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: David Curiel (colorist).

NIT-TO-PICK: Still on the same page, Vixen's "gloves" are incorrectly colored silver, when they're the same tan color than the rest of her uniform, only to be correctly colored two pages later.

NIT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
“ALRIGHT STARMAN, COME OUT WHEREVER YOU ARE!"

TITLE: Tales Of The Sinestro Corps: Cyborg Superman.

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: Alan Burnett (writer).

NIT-TO-PICK: Again that same page, Black Canary mentions that "Gravity's shifting. There's a mass beyond the moon creating a pull..." and Vixen says "Yes, I can feel it. It's barely perceptible." Uh.... how can she feel it? Who's power is she mimicking? Superman is not there, and unless Geo-Force is around, but off-panel, there is nobody else there she could be getting that kind of power from. Well, she could probably be mimicing a space animal, like Animal Man did when he used Sun Eater powers to get back to Earth in 52, but he needed an "upgrade" for that.

NIT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
“I'M MAD AT YOU SUPERMAN, YOU RUINED MY COSTUME!"

TITLE: Tales Of The Sinestro Corps: Cyborg Superman.

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: David Curiel (colorist).

NIT-TO-PICK: For the first part of the book, up until page seventeen, the Cyborg's costume has blue leggings, red boots and briefs, a blue/black cape, and the left part of his shirt is colored red, while the right side is colored black. Then by the aforementioned page, his leggings and his entire shirt are colored black.

NIT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
“THESE RINGS LOOK SO GOOD, I HAD TO PUT MORE OF THEM ON!"

TITLE: Tales Of The Sinestro Corps: Cyborg Superman.

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: Patrick Blaine (penciller).

NIT-TO-PICK: The Cyborg wears yellow power rings in his left hand, and nothing on his mechanic hand. However, from page 22 and on, yellow energy comes out of his right hand, and his knuckles glow yellow. Yes, it's possible that he has power rings cybernetically attached to his hand, and hidden inside it until he activates them, but...

NIT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
“THERE'S SOMETHING SLIGHTLY ABOUT THIS NIT."

TITLE: The Nitpicker.

ISSUE: 40.

CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).

NIT-TO-PICK: On the nit titled "GREEN GLOW OF FASHION MAKEOVERS", I wrote "Kyle Rayner's costume is drawn and colored slightly between", when it should be "slightly different".

NIT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
“I'M DOUBTING MYSELF NOW."

TITLE: The Nitpicker.

ISSUE: 42.

CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).

NIT-TO-PICK: I rated the nit called "WHO GAVE POWERS TO THE STRIPPER?" with 10 "doubts".

NIT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
“HE'S ALSO A FORMER AVENGER."

TITLE: Uncanny X-Men.

ISSUE: 491.

CULPRIT: Nick Lowe (editor) and/or Will Panzo (assistant editor).

NIT-TO-PICK: On the recap page, Caliban is referred to as "former X-Man", and he's never been part of that team.

NIT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
“SCREW THOSE OTHER TEAMS."

TITLE: Uncanny X-Men.

ISSUE: 491.

CULPRIT: Christopher Yost (writer, Endangered Species back-up).

NIT-TO-PICK: Beast mentions, via narrator boxes, that he's "seen many things in his years as an X-Man and Avenger". I highly doubt that he'd omit his stint as a Defender, or at least his time as founding member of X-Factor.

NIT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
So, the Bazzars average for this week is in the normal range, a 5.7. And as I don't feel like being too chatty this time around, the DAYAMN! moment of the week is the following: the Guardians of the Universe have removed the restriction on use of lethal force from the power rings, and of course, most lanterns hesitate to use their newfound ability. Not Salakk, since he's a no-nonsense mudafuka:

Now, I don't condone murder, but that was hardcore, and completely unexpected (although not out of character) from pickle-head. That's it for now, until next week, I'll be on the outlook for more nits, because (almost) nothing escapes...

THE NITPICKER!

The Nitpicker #42.

DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)

[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]

"How does Batman keep his kid focused. Swear he drugs Robin's water." Christopher "Peacemaker" Smith, Blue Beetle V7 #19.

Well, here I am, struggling to finish this column and post it in time. Yes Dominik, I know I said I'd most likely have it up by Thor's Day, but work's been heavy.... So, straight into the Nitpicker's Picks Of The Week, alright? The best book of the week (this is 09/26) was Green Arrow Year One issue five, almost close to resolution, is a great story by Andy Diggle which makes Ollie's origin more believable, and Jock's art is suitably rugged. Yes, the mini could have lasted three or four issues instead of six, but it's still a good read.

The worst book of the week was Avengers: The Initiative #6, not because it was a bad story (it was OK), but because the art was horrible. Not technically bad, but an awful match for this kind of book, it looks like it belongs in some videogame comic book... Last column's Spot The Nit was indeed the fact that Bucky's hair should be brown, not blond. Two weeks in a row Miss Kitty Fantastico, and yet another HNSC badge for you! Nuff' said, cut the chatter, nits now!
<-------------------------------->
"THEY'RE BUILT ON METAPHYSICAL THINGYDIBOPS."

TITLE: 52 Aftermath: The Four Horsemen.

ISSUE: 02 of 06.

CULPRIT: Keith Giffen (writer).

NIT-TO-PICK: The Horsemen are described as having "morphogenetic chassis, pathogens, ordnance"; and most of those things have nothing to with DC's definition of morphogenetic, the morphogenetic field being the "red" that characters like Animal Man and Vixen derive their powers from (or at least use their powers to tap into).

NIT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"I USE MY POWERS TO GROW AND IMPRESS GIRLS!"

TITLE: Avengers: The Initiative.

ISSUE: 06.

CULPRIT: Steve Uy (penciller/inker/colorist).

NIT-TO-PICK: On page 7 Hank Pym and Tigra are shown jogging around Camp Hammond's perimeter, and their heights (not to mention Tigra being a skinny modelette, instead of the buxom babe she's normally drawn as) are incorrect. Pym is, naturally, 6', while Tigra is only 2 inches shorter, and in this page she looks about a head shorter.

NIT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELS!!!!"

TITLE: Countdown.

ISSUE: 31.

CULPRIT: Manuel Garcia (penciller).

NIT-TO-PICK: Yeah, exactly, Mary Marvel has no heels on her boots.

NIT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"FASHION CHANGES FROM WEEK TO WEEK."

TITLE: Countdown.

ISSUE: 31.

CULPRIT: Manuel Garcia (penciller).

NIT-TO-PICK: Una is now wearing different looking bracelets.

NIT-O-METER: 7, because they just can't keep it straight.
<-------------------------------->
"COLOR ME DIFFERENT."

TITLE: Countdown.

ISSUE: 31.

CULPRIT: Hi-Fi (colorist).

NIT-TO-PICK: Una's costume is colored a decidedly different shade of purple, almost blue.

NIT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"AH, YES, THERE'S MUCH BEAUTY IN WORLDWIDE CONCENTRATION CAMPS!"

TITLE: Countdown To Adventure.

ISSUE: 02 of 08.

CULPRIT: Justin Gray (writer).

NIT-TO-PICK: Miss Kitty Fantastico found this nit, earning one more HNSC badge: "One more nit for you, from this week's Countdown to Adventure #2: on the first page of the Forerunner story, Monarch narrates that "...with fifty-two universes come variations of historical timelines so that one place of horror is potentially offset by a place of beauty. In this case the latter..." Granted I don't know a whole lot about Monarch's character, but seeing as he's referring to a worldwide Nazi empire, I kind of think he meant 'former' rather than 'latter'."

Yeah, I'm kind of thinking that however warped his mind might be, the former Captain Atom wouldn't consider a Nazi empire a place of beauty.

NIT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"EETS OUR GEERMAN ACZENT!"

TITLE: Countdown To Adventure.

ISSUE: 02 of 08.

CULPRIT: Justin Gray (writer) and/or Pat Brosseau (letterer).

NIT-TO-PICK: On page 26, first panel, one of the Nazi soldiers says "geet" instead of "get".

NIT-O-METER: 1 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"HERE COMES THE (RAYLESS) SUN."

TITLE: Green Arrow Year One.

ISSUE: 05 of 06.

CULPRIT: Jock (penciller/inker).

NIT-TO-PICK: On the spread formed by pages 9 and 10, Ollie discover that the island houses an abandoned WWII Japanese sub pen (or submarine base); which has a dam of sorts. The dam has a Japanese flag painted on it, problem is, it's the Nisshōki or Hinomaru; that is, the official flag of Japan, the one which is a red sun disc on a white background. The Imperial Japanese Navy (and almost all military divisions Japan has had since 1889) have used the flag commonly referred to as the Imperial Flag, the one with a number of rays coming out of the sun disk; with the most common variant being Hachijō-Kyokujitsuki (still in use today by the Japan Self-Defense Forces, except for their air division).

So, you see, particularly in WWII, a Japanese sub pen would have the Hachijō-Kyokujitsuki or a variant as their ensign, and not the "civilian" flag. Little known fact: although the Hinomaru, in one shape or another, was widely adopted as Japan's flag in 1854 (and has been in use by since the 12th century), the flag wasn't officially adopted until 1999. In that year, several teachers at a Hiroshima Prefecture high school graduation ceremony refused to participate in the raising of the flag and singing of Kimi ga Yo (the Japanese anthem). The school principal, caught between the demands of the Ministry of Education and the teachers, eventually committed suicide. The incident renewed interest in the official status of the national anthem and the national flag, which culminated in the proposal and passage of this Proclamation No. 127, which officially instituted the flag and anthem as official..

NIT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"TELEPATHIC SWITCHEROO?"

TITLE: JLA: Classified.

ISSUE: 43.

CULPRIT: Jared K. Fletcher (letterer).

NIT-TO-PICK: Oliver Queen (the playboy-turned-vigilante from the previous nit) chats in a bar with a human-morphed J'onn Jonzz, but their speech balloons in the last panel of page five are switched around, and then on the first panel of the following page, the balloon that says "Good eye." doesn't make sense coming out of Ollie.

NIT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"ARTHUR CURRY, WARLORD OF MARS!"

TITLE: JLA: Classified.

ISSUE: 43.

CULPRIT: Jared K. Fletcher (letterer).

NIT-TO-PICK: On page 13, panel 4, there's supposed to be two sets of speech balloons, but what Martian Manhunter says is not pointed at him, and joined to Aquaman's balloons. It makes Aquaman say "the kind of piece my people saw on Mars."

NIT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"YOUR HANDS SMELL LIKE FISH!"

TITLE: JLA: Classified.

ISSUE: 43.

CULPRIT: Rick Leonardi (penciller).

NIT-TO-PICK: Same page, Aquaman's gloves are missing.

NIT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"FASTER THAN LIGHTNING!"

TITLE: JLA: Classified.

ISSUE: 43.

CULPRIT: Rick Leonardi (penciller).

NIT-TO-PICK: Same page still, Flash's belt and glove lightings are uncolored on panel 4.

NIT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars, just because he keeps screwing up on the same page.
<-------------------------------->
"I'M JUST WINGING IT."

TITLE: JLA: Classified.

ISSUE: 43.

CULPRIT: Rick Leonardi (penciller).

NIT-TO-PICK: One more time, same page, Flash's boots are missing the wings.

NIT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars, keep on going Rick!
<-------------------------------->
"I'M SO FAST, I CHANGE COLORS!"

TITLE: JLA: Classified.

ISSUE: 43.

CULPRIT: I.L.L. (colorist).

NIT-TO-PICK: Yet again the same page, Flash's boots are colored red instead of yellow.

NIT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"GREEN, NOT WHITE, LANTERN."

TITLE: JLA: Classified.

ISSUE: 43.

CULPRIT: I.L.L. (colorist).

NIT-TO-PICK: Yes, the same goddamn page! And I.L.L. didn't want to contribute just one of the six, yes, six, nits on this single page, so he put in the sixth one. On panel four, Green Lantern's boots are colored white instead of green. I think six nits on a single page is some kind of record...

NIT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars. I bet if I keep staring at this page, I'm gonna find even more nits...
<-------------------------------->
"STILL DYING IT."

TITLE: JSA: Classified.

ISSUE: 30.

CULPRIT: Alex Sanchez (penciller/inker) and/or Pete Pantazis (colorist).

NIT-TO-PICK: Ted Grant's hair is black, when it should be brown with white/grey temples.

NIT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"MUSICAL CHAIRS."

TITLE: JSA: Classified.

ISSUE: 30.

CULPRIT: Alex Sanchez (penciller/inker).

NIT-TO-PICK: Page three, seating arrangement shifts from panel to panel.

NIT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"I ROLLED IT UP SO EVERYONE CAN SEE I'VE BEEN WORKING OUT."

TITLE: JSA: Classified.

ISSUE: 30.

CULPRIT: Alex Sanchez (penciller/inker).

NIT-TO-PICK: Same page, Stargirl's tank top covers her belly, but by the next page it's a top that bares her midriff, plus the neckline is different, the star on the top is not the same size, and she's ripped, with more abdominal muscles she's ever been portrayed with.

NIT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"WERNHER VON BRAUN, SS ÜBERKOMMANDO!"

TITLE: JSA: Classified.

ISSUE: 30.

CULPRIT: Arvid Nelson (writer).

NIT-TO-PICK: So, according to Nelson, Wernher von Braun was a member of the SS, and thus, a hardcore Nazi and friends with the SS's commander, Heimrich Himmler. Actually, he just held an honorary rank, and Himmler had him under surveillance since 1943, and had him arrested in 1944 because von Braun was making difficult for Himmler to take control of the V-2 program. He probably wasn't a good guy, since some accounts said he didn't care about the slave labor used in the V-2 production plants, but still, there's a long way from there to being SS hardcore.

NIT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"WHAT'S YOUR NAME AGAIN?"

TITLE: JSA: Classified.

ISSUE: 30.

CULPRIT: Arvid Nelson (writer) and/or Ken Lopez.

NIT-TO-PICK: Page six, Mr. Terrific (Michael Holt) calls Dr. Mid-Nite (Pieter Cross) "Michael". That, or the speech balloons are not clear or just plain switched around... still creating confusion.

NIT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"MILDLY COLD WAR."

TITLE: JSA: Classified.

ISSUE: 30.

CULPRIT: Arvid Nelson (writer).

NIT-TO-PICK: Mr. Terrific (or Dr. Mid-Nite, depending on those crazy word balloons) says that von Braun's defection to the US happened during the Cold War. It was in 1945, which I wouldn't call the height of the Cold War, which most historians agree began after WWII, in 1947.

NIT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"BEFORE YOUR TIME, PUP."

TITLE: JSA: Classified.

ISSUE: 30.

CULPRIT: Arvid Nelson (writer).

NIT-TO-PICK: Whoever mentions the Cold War, says "it's hard to explain how scary it was." Cold War or not (since it was 1945), whether it was Mr. Terrific or Dr. Mid-Nite, neither of them was alive at the time, not if they're supposed to be in their thirties or even their forties.

NIT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"UUUUH.... MULTIPLE EARTHS CONFUSE ME!!!"

TITLE: JSA: Classified.

ISSUE: 30.

CULPRIT: Arvid Nelson (writer) and Alex Sanchez (penciller/inker).

NIT-TO-PICK: Talking about a possible air attack on the U.S.A. by Nazi Germany, it's mentioned that even if the Germans could mass produce bombers capable of reaching America, U.S. superhero teams would destroy them before they were able to bomb the country... and they show Superman destroying the planes!!! It's World War II people, Superman wasn't around, it's not Earth-2!

NIT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. God, what the fuck are these people on?
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"GROUP SHOT."

TITLE: Justice League Of America.V2.

ISSUE: 13.

CULPRIT: Ian Churchill (cover penciller).

NIT-TO-PICK: Ok, I get that covers can be symbolic and all that... but there are some villains who just can't be here. I grant you that, say, Major Force may have escaped from that Phantom Zone like disk thingy Kyle put him in, or that Granny Goodness is pulling double duty, what with her faux Amazons and all that jazz.. But Black Adam doesn't have powers anymore, wherever he is; Validus is a Legion of Superheroes enemy who won't be born for another 1000 years, if ever; and Felix Faust is trapped inside Dr. Fate's tower. There's probably more villains I don't keep track off there that shouldn't be on that cover.

NIT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars, they're putting characters in the cover that not only shouldn't be there, aren't in the book at all.
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"NO MCDUFFIE, THIS IS NOT JLU, BATMAN IS NOT GOING TO FALL IN LOVE WITH WONDER WOMAN."

TITLE: Justice League Of America.V2.

ISSUE: 13.

CULPRIT: Dwayne McDuffie (writer).

NIT-TO-PICK: On page 3, Batman claims that Wonder Woman is "the best melee fighter in the world"; which is doubtful, because there's several characters who can kick her ass, even with less strength.

NIT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
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"OK, WHO THE FUCK'S BEEN PLAYING WITH THE STOLEN PYM PARTICLES?"

TITLE: Justice League Of America.V2.

ISSUE: 13.

CULPRIT: Joe Benitez (penciller).

NIT-TO-PICK: The spread of pages 4 and 5 looks awful, not only the anatomies are all screwed up, but the sizes are too. Gorilla Grodd has never been a gigantic ape as wide as five people, plus he's only four inches taller than Lex Luthor, who wearing a suit of Gigantic-Manga-Feet(TM) armor, stand two (human) heads shorter than Grodd, Also, Dr. Light's height is 5'11", yet he stands half a head taller than Joker's 6'5", and a head taller than Cheetah's 5'9". Then, on page 17, Grodd is again gigantic when compared to Dr. Light and Cheetah, and the wrong height difference between the latter two is still there.

NIT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars, for the clusterfuck, and I'm counting it as two nits.
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"HE'S THE BLACK LANTERN."

TITLE: Justice League Of America.V2.

ISSUE: 13.

CULPRIT: Pete Pantazis (colorist).

NIT-TO-PICK: Alright, I'm willing to accept some of Dwayne McDuffie's JLUization of this book, because the show was cool... even if he's replacing Hal Jordan with John Stewart. But Pete Pantazis, it's only in the cartoon that John Stewart has green eyes, got it? His eyes are black.

NIT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
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"MIGHTY MORPHING KILLER FROST!"

TITLE: Justice League Of America.V2.

ISSUE: 13.

CULPRIT: Joe Benitez (penciller) and Pete Pantazis (colorist).

NIT-TO-PICK: Killer Frost looks very different from the last time she was shown, only two weeks ago, different hair length, different length of the fur like parts of her costume, different cut and color of costume,.

NIT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
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"SCIENCE IS HARD!"

TITLE: Justice League Of America.V2.

ISSUE: 13.

CULPRIT: Dwayne McDuffie (writer).

NIT-TO-PICK: On page fourteen, Poison Ivy attacks Green Lantern (John Stewart) by multiplying part of his intestinal flora (mycobacterium paratuberculosis, to be precise)... but intestinal flora, despite its name, it's made of plants, it's made of bacteria.

NIT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars, dammit, if you wanna do science fiction, read up on science. Anyone who's finished high school and paid some attention should know that intestinal flora is made of bacteria.
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"SIPHON THIS, YOU VIXEN!"

TITLE: Justice League Of America.V2.

ISSUE: 13.

CULPRIT: Dwayne McDuffie (writer).

NIT-TO-PICK: Superman says on page sixteen that Vixen siphons powers from other superhumans; but her powers don't siphon (which would imply the other characters losing part of their powers), they mimic.

NIT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
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"WELL, TECHNICALLY..."

TITLE: (Supergirl And The) Legion of Super-Heroes V5.

ISSUE: 34.

CULPRIT: Tony Bedard (writer).

NIT-TO-PICK: On page one, Atom Girl's power is indicated as "size-changing ability", when she can only shrink.

NIT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
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"NITPICKER OR NIT-PICKER?"

TITLE: The Nitpicker.

ISSUE: Various.

CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).

NIT-TO-PICK: I've occasionally written "superheroes" instead of "super-heroes"; now, as a term, I didn't think it would be a problem, and it's not, since "superhero" is a valid word. Yes, "Super Hero" and its plural are a joint trademark owned by DC and Marvel (and they've also trademarked the hyphened version, or tried to); but "superhero" is the actual dictionary word. Still, the Legion is called "Legion Of Super-Heroes", including the hyphen, and I've been writing it wrongly occasionally.

NIT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars, I should know how to write the name of one of my favorite comics...
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"SPOT THIS ONE, AGAIN WITH 100% FEMALE CONTENT."

TITLE: Wonder Woman V3.

ISSUE: Annual 01.

CULPRIT: Terry Dodson (penciller).

NIT-TO-PICK: Check out this panel, and tell me what's wrong:

NIT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
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"ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE NOT NAMOR'S SISTER?"

TITLE: Wonder Woman V3.

ISSUE: Annual 01.

CULPRIT: Allan Heinberg (writer) and/or Terry Dodson (penciller).

NIT-TO-PICK: How is Queen Clea flying?

NIT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
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"YOU'VE ALREADY SPOTTED IT."

TITLE: Wonder Woman V3.

ISSUE: Annual 01.

CULPRIT: Terry Dodson (penciller).

NIT-TO-PICK: Cheetah is missing her spots on her face, arms, and visible parts of her torso, only to have some of them on page seven.

NIT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars, for lack intra-issue consistency.
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"OLD TIMES' SAKE."

TITLE: Wonder Woman V3.

ISSUE: Annual 01.

CULPRIT: Terry Dodson (penciller).

NIT-TO-PICK: The cavalry arrives on pages 8-9, and Green Arrow (Ollie) is wearing his Robin Hood cap, when he's been wearing a hood for a long time now.

NIT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
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"WHO GAVE POWERS TO THE STRIPPER?"

TITLE: Wonder Woman V3.

ISSUE: Annual 01.

CULPRIT: Allan Heinberg (writer) and/or Terry Dodson (penciller).

NIT-TO-PICK: Same spread, Starfire is there, she shouldn't have her powers. And this time I'm right without a doubt, because this happens shortly after 52.

NIT-O-METER: 10 doubts.
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"STILL RUNNING SO FAST I CHANGE BOOT COLORS."

TITLE: Wonder Woman V3.

ISSUE: Annual 01.

CULPRIT: Terry Dodson (penciller).

NIT-TO-PICK: Ending spread of the main story, pages 24-25, Flash's boots are colored red instead of yellow.

NIT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
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"WHAT'S NEXT, SARGE STEEL'S JLA?"

TITLE: Wonder Woman V3.

ISSUE: Annual 01.

CULPRIT: Allan Heinberg (writer).

NIT-TO-PICK: The backup story says that Nemesis served with "Sarge Steel's Suicide Squad"; but Steel never actually lead the Squad, he just oversaw it. Furthermore, Steel oversaw the Squad (along with Checkmate and other agencies) after the Janus Directive storyline, and Nemesis left the team well before that. He did rejoin it during the Phoenix Gambit arc; and for one mission, the Squad was still technically under Steel's jurisdiction, but that doesn't make Nemesis part of "Sarge Steels's Suicide Squad".

NIT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
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Wow, the average Bazzars this week is 6.9... I toned down a few costume errors from 7 to 6, if not we'd reached the 7.0 easily. I know I had a few 10s this week, but I swear, I'm still walking the line (to quote the great Johnny Cash) between overbazzaring and underscoring. Look at that, this column was all DC except for the one Marvel... odd, isn't it?

This week we have another Dayamn! moment that is sure to cause the same reaction on my readers than it did on me. If Black Adam can punch through some guy's head, and bungee jump with the innards of the Yeti he just gutted, why can't the original anti-hero pissed off monarch do something like that? Of course he can, Venom rips off some of Namor's ankle wings, so Namor retaliates by "catching" Venom’s tongue.... and ripping it off!

That's it for now, until next week, I'll be on the outlook for more nits, because (almost) nothing escapes...

THE NITPICKER!