The Dissector #160.

DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)

[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]

"We are all family here... all children of God. No need to fight. Remember what it says in Psalm 27... or is that Matthew 32? Wait, now I remember... it's Smith & Wesson 639!" Lt. Colonel John "Hannibal" Smith, A-Team: Shotgun Wedding #4.

Welcome to the column for comics released on 04/21; a little later than usual, but still in time... I try to keep a Friday date for the column. Before anything, I'd like to just showcase my son's new blog (and first one, since he's five), Bedtime Comics With My Dad, where we'll read comics together and he'll review them. Leave him a comment, he'll be glad to answer.

On matters pertaining to this column, JohnnyDoe cracked the DT!, noticing that the cot in Captain Boomerang's prison cell was gigantic, and I can add that it even grows between panels. Ezequiel pointed out that it's a TARDIS cell. The Dissector's Picks Of The Week are these: Best Book Of The Week was Supergirl #52, good art, and great writing, solving a continuity conundrum, and preserving one of comics greatest love stories. Worst Book Of The Week was Avengers Vs. Atlas #4; as much as I enjoy Jeff Parker's Atlas stuff, this mini was convoluted and too long for its own good. The art by Gabriel Hardman was good, and I enjoyed the backup Gorilla Man story by Jason Aaron and Giancarlo Caracuzzo, but it doesn't save the book.

The Rundown: A-Team: Shotgun Wedding (Spanish language mistakes), The Amazing Spider-Man (weird English in the recap), Batman: Streets Of Gotham (Batman's belt and chest emblems are wrong), Brave And The Bold (the terrorist Wonder Woman captures changes eye colors between pages), Green Lantern V4 (Hal's badge), Spider-Man: Origin Of The Hunter (Anna Kravinoff's eyes are the wrong color), X-Men Forever V2 (accented letter, cedille, "micro-molecular level", Beast has yellow, featureless glowing eyes, X-Men Legacy (wrong German).
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"AMERICAN DISSECTION."

TITLE: American Vampire (DC/Vertigo).

ISSUE: 02.

CULPRIT: Rafael Albuquerque (penciller) and Dave McCaig (colorist).

DISSECTION: Dissect This!


DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars. Pretty good book, so far... enjoying the old west back up by Stephen King himself... but there was some wrong use of German, and letterer Steve Wands made an "ñ" smaller than he should have.
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"MINUS TAUR."

TITLE: Hercules: Fall Of An Avenger (Marvel).

ISSUE: 02 of 02.

CULPRIT: Paul Tobin (writer) and Reilly Brown (penciller).

DISSECTION: Some medieval and renaissance conceptions of the Minotaur depicted in an inverted way than the more common depiction; body of a bull, with a man's torso, not unlike a "bull-centaur". If you were to use that version, and make a female minotaur, you'd give her the lower body of a cow... not the lower body of a horse... because that's a centaur.

DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars. Also, Namor and Banner have their eyes colored incorrectly, and Phobos' hairdo is incorrect.
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"WHO IS DONNA TROY? WHO CARES!"

TITLE: Justice League Of America V2 (DC).

ISSUE: 44.

CULPRIT: James Robinson (writer).

DISSECTION: The JLA satellite's hull is breached, and Donna Troy gets sucked out into space, clutching her throat as if she can't breathe, until "Starman" (the blue guy) comes to her rescue. Uhm... while I know she can't actually survive in space on her own, she's tough enough to resist WHILE SHE FLIES BACK INSIDE UNDER HER OWN POWER!!!

DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars. Batman's emblems are wrong, and some of the German dialogue is incorrect as well. Oh, and Power Girl's sleeve is missing on the cover, and why does the "J" in James Robinson in the credits have a dot? Upper case "J"s don't have dots.
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"RIP IT! AND RIP IT GOOD!"

TITLE: Siege: Spider-Man (Marvel).

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: Brian Reed (writer).

DISSECTION: WTF? Are we really supposed to believe that it's possible for Ms. Marvel to separate Mac Gargan from his symbiote just by PULLING HIM OUT BY FORCE?!?!?!? The symbiote is not a suit, it's BONDED with its HOST (not wearer)... this is one of the lamest storytelling devices I've seen. It was perfectly possible to have her use her powers to generate intense heat, which is one of the weaknesses of these creatures.

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
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This week's average was 6.8 Bazzars in thirty dissections; pretty high, but we had some outrageous stuff. This week's Cover is another Iron Man variant, this time by Mike del Mundo for The Amazing Spider:


Tony Stark's Metropolis! Now, Moments Of The Week, first up, Power Girl gets nasty:


Will Cousin Clark be happy? Then, great romances never die:


Thank you, Sterling Gates. Now, who said you feel no pain when music hits you?


Ouch. Now at Ultimate Marvel, don't let your ex-girlfriends and your current one team up:


Charlie Brown! And for our ending, more Marvel, one of my favorite characters:


SELF WILL KICK YOUR ASS!!! That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...

THE DISSECTOR!

The Dissector #159.

DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)

[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]

"--The hell? (...) they're in prehistory (...) I hope no one steps on a butterfly and makes me have a mustache." Bob, Agent of Hydra... or A.I.M., Hulked-Out Heroes #1.

Sorry for the lateness, but here we are with the column for comics released on 04/14. Donald313 correctly noticed that Odin has two eyes in the retro-DT!, so that solves that. Now, the Dissector's Picks Of The Week are the following: Best Book Of The Week was Star Trek: Leonard McCoy, Frontier Doctor #1. John Byrne's artwork might be a tad outdated, but it's detailed and clean, perfect for a Star Trek book based on TOS, and it's clear he understands the setting and the characters. Worst Book Of The Week was Hulked-Out Heroes #1... pointless, I'm tired of Deadpool, at least the Sentry is lame but he's not the star of seven or ten books at the same time. It did have ONE quote that made me laugh, as you can see.

The Rundown: A-Team: War Stories: Face (French language mistake), Action Comics (Jay Garrick's emblem, Captain Atom's hair), Adventure Comics V1 (Matter-Eater Lad's gloves should be fingerless, and you can even see the aritst drew them that way, but the colorist just painted his fingers black), Batman (Riddler's hair is colored wrong), Booster Gold V2 (Rip Hunter's eyes and hair are wrong), Fall Out Toy Works (Tiffany's eyes are colored wrong on the cover), Green Arrow V4 (Atom's eyes are colored wrong, and Batman's chest emblem is completely wrong), Iron Man: Legacy ("paramiltaries"), Iron Man Noir (Pepper Potts' eyes should be green), Siege: Loki (numerous accented letters, also eye colors and designs), Siege: Young Avengers ("Broxtan", Oklahoma), Spider-Man: Grim Hunt: The Kraven Saga (Dear Handbook Guys: When putting an image in a profile, avoid having it obscure the text, particularly of non-context guessable information like the number of the issue of the character's first appearance), Ultimate Comics Enemy ("Latervia"), Web Of Spider-Man V2 (Marko's eyes are colored incorrectly again; at least the mobster is Don "Silvio" now), X-Factor Forever (Jean's eyes are wrong on the cover, and Trish Tilby's are wrong inside), Zorro Matanzas (Spanish language errors in spades... particularly "cajones" instead of "cojones").
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"JACKPOTALIZED."

TITLE: The Amazing Spider-Man Presents: Jackpot (Marvel).

ISSUE: 03 of 03.

CULPRIT: Marc Guggenheim (writer).

DISSECTION: "Pharmacalized"? Whu-what?

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars. Making up random words, a no-no after the age of three.
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"DOCTOR?"

TITLE: Black Widow V4 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 01.

CULPRIT: Marjorie Liu (writer).

DISSECTION: The Black Widow gets trussed up like a Turkey in the street; so she gets taken to a hospital. While finishing up surgery on her, one of the doctors asks the other if "he checked if she has her liver, kidney, spleen..." (you know, what REAL doctors would call her internal organs), to which the other doctor answers, without much certainty, that he "saw them during the exam". That is the most unconvincing piece of medical dialogue I've seen in a long time.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
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"IN SOVIET RUSSIA, COMICS READ YOU!"

TITLE: Black Widow V4 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 01.

CULPRIT: John Rhett Thomas (writer, Black Widow Files).

DISSECTION: You know, all these "Saga" things Marvel puts together are very helpful for getting up to speed on characters, particularly when they're included in the first issue of a book, instead of being a separate one-shot (like the TWO Kraven family books Marvel put out on this same week). However, character histories need to be revised, particularly in Marvel's case, when continuity has never been rebooted in the main universe, only retconned here and there.

In this case, the problem is Soviets. Yes, the Black Widow has been injected with a serum that slows her aging, among other things, which allows her to retain much of the Cold War parts of her origins... but that's about it, her interactions, alongside other characters like Iron Man or the Avengers, with Soviet agents are no longer workable. The modern Marvel characters have been active for around 15 years in their sliding timescale, in fact, Tom Brevoort said the other day that Peter Parker is about 27 years old, which means he's been Spider-Man for only twelve years. (Me, I'd rather think he's more like 30, perhaps 32.)

There is only so much you can blame on rogue or splinter post-Iron Curtain fall Soviet whacko groups. That will work for characters who have only faint connections to the Cold War, for example, saying that the Crimson Dynamo that first attacked Iron Man was from one of those rogue Soviet groups... because even if Tony Stark has been active as Iron Man longer than Spider-Man (and I doubt it, or at least it can't be much longer), the USSR fell in 1991... that's almost twenty years ago, folks.

DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
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"BRIGHTEST DISSECTION!"

TITLE: Brightest Day (DC).

ISSUE: 00.

CULPRIT: Fernando Pasarin (penciller).

DISSECTION: So, Barry Allen visits Captain Boomerang in prison, but there's something wrong with this picture:


DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars. Also, Hal Jordan's emblem is wrong on both covers and inside the book, Barry's eyes are colored incorrectly, and Martian Manhunter's pants are missing on the variant cover.
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Thirty-nine dissections leave us with an average of 6.1 Bazzars; on the lower end of the usual range. Cover Of The Week is another Iron Man variant that has nothing to do with the book it's for:


This funky gladiator is by Gabriele Dell Otto; whose comic art is a bit unmoving, but he makes good covers. Moments Of The Week now, we start with some Quislet action!


The scene was longer, so I had to choose a part of it. Next, Flash meets the Legion!


... or not. Cool stuff, great start for the new Flash book. Then, a fun Winnie the Pooh parody:


Trap someone you want to get rid of inside the body of a stuffed animal in la-la-land? Genious. And last, Zorro... unsettles me:


Err... That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...

THE DISSECTOR!

The Dissector #158.

DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)

[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]

"Cue music: Something funky with a beat to it. English lyrics so we know this isn't one of those foreign films where you have to read." unnamed vampire, House Of Mystery #24.

Welcome to the first column about April comics, specifically, those released on 04/07. Nobody took a crack at the DT!, but it was obvious... Luthor created a time machine by irradiating acetylsalicylic acid... aspirin? Good God, what was Byrne on?

The Dissector's Picks Of The Week are the following: Best Book Of The Week was Superman: Last Stand Of New Krypton #2, the art was a bit better because Pete Woods shares the pencilling duties with Travis Moore, and I'm still enjoying the plot... lots of Legion! Worst Book Of The Week Buffy The Vampire Slayer #34... the art is weak and unpolished, and not because of a noticeable stylistic choice, and the plot is bland, not up to par with the show as previous arcs were.

The Rundown: A-Team: Shotgun Wedding (translated from "THE" Spanish, again?), Captain America/Black Panther: Flags Of Our Fathers (accented letters, plus Captain America's mask wings are Thor-helmet sized), Doom Patrol V5 (Veronica "Case" instead of "Cale", and Rita Farr's eyes get colored green once again), House Of Mystery V2 ("Something funky with a beat to it" is missing a comma), JSA All-Stars (Atom Smasher's hair is colored incorrectly, and Power Girl's boots are wrong), Justice Society Of America (accented letter), Nemesis: The Impostors (Nemesis eyes start out green, then change to his correct blue color, and Batman's emblems are drawn incorrectly), Red Robin (Batman emblems), Secret Warriors (the Contessa's and Daisy's eyes are colored wrong), Superman: Last Stand Of New Krypton (Sensor Girl's eyes change color from her correct blue, to green), Superman: Secret Origin (John Corben's eyes should be green), The Boys (accented letter), Ultimate Comics X (Jean Grey has her correctly colored green eyes in the comic, but when a magazine cover is shown in-story, she has blue eyes), Uncanny X-Men (X-23's eyes should be green), Vengeance Of The Moon Knight (ñ), World War Hulks (Urik the troll unexplainably has completely blank eyes).
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"FAMILY TIES."

TITLE: Avengers: The Origin (Marvel).

ISSUE: 01 of 05.

CULPRIT: Joe Casey (writer).

DISSECTION: I often see this wrong, people refer to Loki as Thor's half brother... but he's his stepbrother, or even foster brother, but half brother requires you to share one biological parent; which Loki and Thor do not. Thor, Vidar, and Balder are half brothers among themselves, all sons of Odin, and of different mothers.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars. Also, Rick Jones' eyes should be brown, not blue.
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"THE FACTS OF LIFE."

TITLE: The Flash: Secret Files And Origins 2010 (DC).

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: Scott Kolins (artist).

DISSECTION: Barry Allen's childhood is shown, and sliding timescale or not, there's no excuse as to why clothing, cars, hairstyles and everything look like today's, late 90s at most. If this is Barry, it should be at most, the mid-70s.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
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"LOST."

TITLE: Marvel: The Lost Generation (Marvel).

ISSUE: 05 of 12.

CULPRIT: John Byrne (penciller). He was also co-plotter with Roger Stern, who scripted. Odd, I guess Byrne was busy.

DISSECTION: Here's another retro Dissect This!, I thinking I'll do this more often:


DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
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"THE PARENT 'HOOD."

TITLE: The New Avengers: Luke Cage (Marvel).

ISSUE: 01 of 03.

CULPRIT: Eric Cante (penciller) and Chris Chuckry (colorist).

DISSECTION: Fustercluck! Danielle Cage is replaced by a girl with different hair color, eye color, and even facial structure!

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
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"THE SHIELD."

TITLE: S.H.I.E.L.D. (Marvel).

ISSUE: 01.

CULPRIT: Jonathan Hickman (writer).

DISSECTION: I was very much looking forward to this book, based on the cover previews, however, I wasn't wowed when I read it. S.H.I.E.L.D... a secret technomystic society? Uh, what? Okay, the Metabaron-ey imagery is cool enough to keep me reading, along with appearances by historical figures, including one of my favorites, Galileo Galilei. In the end, the first issue was not exactly what I expected; but not exactly disappointing either, intriguing enough to keep me reading. Reminded me a lot of Mage: The Ascension, like a few books do these days (Gravel, Air, Captain Swing, Absolution, Mighty Avengers). I did love the art by Dustin Weaver, and I hope further issues will make me fall in love with the writing too.

The only dissection I found was that Galileo is in Rome, clearly settled there, and not visiting, in 1582, at the age of 18. Galileo didn't visit Rome until 1611, and in fact, never lived there, having lived and worked in or near Firenze nearly all of his life, except for his birth and early childhood in Pisa, and a stint teaching at the University of Padua.

Yes, I realize it's the Marvel universe, but there was no need to change the place where Galileo had his workshop just because Hickman decided it was cool, or worse, didn't check. And yes, this could be a "temporary workshop" to combat the menace you'll see in the Moments Of The Week, but stating it's "the workshop of Galileo" implies it’s his permanent base. Could I have overlooked this dissection? Yes, but I don't want to, I consider it wrong, and as I've stated numerous time, I haven't sworn to be 100% objective in this column.

On another note, while reading about Galileo to check some dates and facts, I was reminded of the fact that he died at the age of 77... in 1642... that is A LOT for someone in those times. I haven't been able to find data for the 16th/17th centuries, but early 20th century average was 30-45 years, and current average is 67.2.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
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How clever am I? Each of the dissection titles is a TV show!!! Yeah, I know, not that clever... This week we had a 6.2 Bazzars in thirty-two dissections, pretty standard. Cover Of The Week is from Uncanny X-Men #523, by Mike Perkins:


Yeah, I know, there's no Iron Man in that book, and this is just one of the Iron Man 2 promo covers... but it's still a nice looking pinup cover. Now, Moments Of The Week, First, Quislet gets to do something!!!


Yeah, he fails, but still, he keeps his upbeat attitude. Then, at least Liberty Belle is educated:


And now, a Moment from The Boys... warning, it's disgusting:


... ew. And from Doom Patrol, it's Danny!


Danny The Bungalow!!! And as a last Moment, I did have my qualms about S.H.I.E.L.D. #1, but overall, I enjoyed it, and this was a great scene:


Galileo Vs. Galactus!!! You've got to admit, "G.G." could perfectly well be a Stan Lee character name. That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...

THE DISSECTOR!

The Dissector #157.

DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)

[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]

"(...) you're fools... and, man, I PITY you!" Bosco "B.A." Baracus, A-Team-War Stories: B.A.

Yes, that quote's from 03/24, but I just got it now, and there wasn't anything that caught my eye from 03/31, which is the week this column covers. JohnnyDoe cracked the DT! from last week; Ares' corpse in Asgard's "triage room" looked nothing like it should after the Sentry "broke it". Badge for JD.

Best Book Of The Week was Hellblazer #265, nothing particularly special, but I enjoyed Simon Bisley's art, in a more polished style than usual, and Milligan's script was a good read too. Nice send off for Malcom McLaren. Worst Book Of The Week was Outsiders #28, I'm not sure why I still read this crap. DiDio, stick to editorial duties.

The Rundown! Adventure Comics V1 (Colossal Boy's eye color is wrong, and so are Matter Eater Lad's gloves), The Amazing Spider-Man V1 (Juggernaut's eyes are the wrong color, "Michele", and "Amana" Conner), Detective Comics (Veronica Cale's eye color is wrong), Gotham City Sirens (Riddler's hair color is wrong), Justice League Of America V2 (Batman's chest and belt emblems are wrong, and the chest one changes between pages; Blackest Night is over, and Aquaman and the Martian Manhunter are referred to as still dead), New Mutants V3 (accented letters), X-Men: Second Coming (the X-Mansion is too "intact", Psylocke's eyes are colored incorrectly), X-Men Forever V2 (Ro's eyes are white while she's not using her powers, Daisy Dugan's eyes start out green, then they're blue, then they're green again; Nick Fury's eye is colored incorrectly; Beast has normal eyes first, then blank eyes next; accented letter). Dissections?
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"EMOTIONAL SPECTRUM."

TITLE: Blackest Night (DC).

ISSUE: 08 of 08.

CULPRIT: Alex Sinclair (colorist).

DISSECTION: Well, apart from Hal's badge being wrong several times (including both covers), and other Lantern badges and rings being wrong too; which was all expected, there's a series of coloring errors by Sinclair (who had nothing to do with the art mistakes). Carter Hall, Ronnie Raymond, and Boston Brand all have blue eyes, but Sinclair decides they all have brown eyes... and to boot, gives Hawkman black hair, when his hair is brown.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars for each coloring dissection.
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"CLOAK AND MARRIOTT."

TITLE: Cloak and Dagger V4 (Marvel).

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: Mark Brooks (penciller).

DISSECTION: Dagger goes to her quarters on Utopia... and they look like a large apartment or house, with perfect wood floors, expensive looking furniture, kitchen appliances, and even doors leading into other rooms. Really? When everybody, including Cyclops, has been shown living in small, utilitarian quarters on Utopia?

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars. Rockslide also has details drawn into his eyes, when they should just be blank, and Dr. Nemesis hair, which should be grey, is colored a bright yellow.
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"I CAN'T COUNT TOO GOOD."

TITLE: Star Trek: The Next Generation: Ghosts (IDW).

ISSUE: 05 of 05.

CULPRIT: Zander Cannon (writer).

DISSECTION: Now, Zander Cannon (whose name still sounds AWESOME) wrote a nice miniseries; which could have been shorter, granted, but still was TNGish enough to be an episode of the show; and Javier Aranda's art in this issue, while ugly, is technically correct enough to make me think he probably grew hands or got cybernetic replacements. Makes me think of a Star Trek roleplayer who had a character with "positronic hands"... ignoring the fact that what was positronic about Data was HIS BRAIN, and it was a feature related to artificial intelligence, NOT HANDS!!!

... but I ramble. In this last issue, Geordi is getting some numerical data from one of the aliens-of-the-week-from-the-planet-of-the-week (Allios IV), to solve a technical conundrum posed by a specific piece of technology developed in that planet. He can't make heads or tails of the numbers he's being fed, and struggles to understand them, and after a great deal of effort... realizes the aliens, who have six fingers on each hand, use a base-12 number system. Yes, Geordi, a professional engineer, who is one of the best Starfleet and the entire Star Trek universe has to offer, only realizes that about a civilization whose technology he's been studying for what seems to be days? Even if it's just hours, THE FIRST THING YOU HAVE TO TAKE INTO ACCOUNT WHEN STUDYING SOMETHING LIKE THAT, SO HEAVILY DEPENDING ON NUMBERS, IS WHAT SYSTEM THEY USE!!!

Me, I'm ashamed I never realized the aliens had six fingers on each hand, and it was never mentioned before. But it'd be in the first page of whatever Wikipedia entry Geordi consulted about this planet.

DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars. Also, Data's rank insignia are wrong, showing him as just a Lieutenant, Chief O'Brien is also a Lieutenant, and his eyes are colored wrong.
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"GENERATIONS..."

TITLE: Superman & Batman: Generations (DC).

ISSUE: TPB (originally from issue #3 of the mini, I believe).

CULPRIT: John Byrne (writer... and penciller, inker, letterer, book stapler, delivery boy, comic book shop owner, buyer, reader, reviewer). Seriously, just the first three, and as writer for this dissection.

DISSECTION: An old one, from a 1999 mini (and its 2000 TPB), as a DT! Since I didn't have a good one from current comics, I went into my Vault. This should be easy, and I'm ashamed of Byrne, as much as I love his work.


DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. Also, colorist Trish Mulvihill gives Lex Luthor blue eyes, when he has green ones.
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Average this week was 6.7 Bazzars in thirty-seven dissections. High, at least within the usual range. Cover Of The Week isn't really that much, but since there weren't any impressive covers this week, I settled on this one:


Nice work, as usual, by Jan Duursema, it'll certainly not be a nominee for Cover Of The Year, but it's pretty to look at, and better than the rest of the covers from this week. The first Moment Of The Week is from the Blackest Night finale:


Scary! And from the same book, something that was predictable, but still pretty cool:


I just noticed the Martian Manhunter has pants, but no shirt. What gives? Now, still in DC, but in Vertigo, generational gaps:


I feel like that sometimes around my younger friends or co-workers. And a Marvel moment as a finish:


Nice little exchange between Cyclops and Nightcrawler. Too bad their understanding didn't last much... Nightcrawler learned about the current's X-Force license to kill soon after this. That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...

THE DISSECTOR!

The Dissector #156.

DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)

[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]

"Are you threatening me? Listen, I've been threatened by experts, you know Cybermen, Ice Warriors, Daleks... BBC producers..." Sixth Doctor, Doctor Who Classics Series 3 #1.

Sorry for the delay, but here's column for comics released on 03/24... though that quote above is from the week before; but I got it late... and it was too good to pass up. Last week's DT! wasn't cracked... two weeks in a row? I'm disappointed, fellas... In a flashback to an Avengers book from the 80s; Namor is wearing his current costume, including the "X" emblem he wears today as an X-Man. In fact, Hercules, as I mentioned, is also wearing his current costume instead of the one he wore back then.

The Dissector's Picks Of The Week are the following: Best Book was Angel Special: Lorne; a good, if temporary, goodbye for a likeable character, and for the sadly deceased actor who played him. It also didn't hurt that it's written and drawn by John Byrne; who manages to make Angel look exactly like David Boreanaz... probably without even trying. Worst Book Of The Week was Breaking Into Comics The Marvel Way #2, a bunch of inconsequential, poorly made, boring stories.

The Rundown: A-Team: Shotgun Wedding ("translated from "the" Spanish"? Also, there's Spanish text inside translation brackets), The Amazing Spider-Man (The Hood's name is not public knowledge, "Michele", S.H.I.E.L.D.'s full name doesn't have a comma in the middle, Michelle's name is given incorrectly as "Gonzalez" and then correctly as "Gonzales".), Batman: Streets Of Gotham (Manhunter and Two-Face get their eyes colored incorrectly), Breaking Into Comics The Marvel Way (Psylocke's are wrong, she shouldn't be able to access the White Hot Room, her costume is wrong, she didn't stop manifesting the butterfly when she first manifested her psi-katana, and Cable has also manifested a psychic sword), Fall Of The Hulks: Red Hulk (Banner's eye color is wrong), Green Lantern V4 (John Stewart's badge is wrong... he's wearing Hal's), Justice League: The Rise Of Arsenal (Lian's eyes should be green, Batman's belt emblem is wrong, and so is Hal's badge), Peter Parker ("Michele" again), Power Girl V2 (character with wrong eye color), Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: Fool's Gold (O'Brien's uniform is wrong, so is his rank insignia, Jadzia's pips are on the wrong side of her collar, and Bashir's rank pips show him as a full Lieutenant, when he was promoted the following year), Superman/Batman (accented letter), Superman V1 ("mass" genocide? sounds a bit weird... and the accent in cover artist Julian López's last name not only makes the letter smaller, it's also a horizontal line over it), Thunderbolts (Grizzly's still missing from the roster, while Headsman is still there; also, U.S.Agent's chest star is the wrong size, shape and color), Uncanny X-Men (Nightcrawler has some kind of afro hairdo, and Mr. Fantastic says "You might can fool some of the satellites..."), X-Factor (Monet's eyes are blue when they should be brown). Dissections, now.
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"AVENGING CHANGING COLORS."

TITLE: New Avengers (Marvel).

ISSUE: 63.

CULPRIT: Dave McCaig (colorist).

DISSECTION: I'm reading the book, right? And I notice that Jessica Jones' eyes are the wrong color. They're green, when they should be blue. The next page, they're blue. And the next, back to green... and then brown. WTF?

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars, for the sheer sloppiness. Clint Barton's eyes are green first, then his correct blue color, then green again; Lady Octopus' eyes are green instead of brown, and Danielle Cage is drawn as a 4-6 months baby instead of a year old infant or so. Then I go to see who the colorist was... and the credit read "colorisst"...
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"THE ROD OF BORIS."

TITLE: Northlanders (DC/Vertigo)

ISSUE: 26.

CULPRIT: Brian Wood (writer) and/or Leandro Fernandez (artist).

DISSECTION: Good God... Boris, the apparently Slavic holy man among Norsemen, is also a healer... and his surgical instrument and medicine bag has a caduceus. The caduceus is NOT the symbol of medicine, despite its mistaken use, mainly in the USA, as that. It's a symbol originally for Iris, messenger of Hera, and afterwards of Hermes/Mercury; and through them, a symbol of messengers, gamblers, merchants, shepherds, liars and thieves.

The symbol of medicine is the rod of Asclepius; or the asklepian. Asclepius was the Greek god of healing and medicine, and his symbol is a staff with a snake entwined around it. The caduceus is also a staff, but quite differently shaped than the asklepian. The latter is a rustic wooden staff, while the former is usually a smooth and elegant-looking herald's staff. Furthermore, there are two snakes entwined around the caduceus, and the staff is winged, while the rod of Asclepius is not. Read more about the asklepian, and about the caduceus and the mix ups between the two.

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
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"DISSECT THEE!"

TITLE: Thor V1 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 608.

CULPRIT: Rich Elson (artist).

DISSECTION: Dissect This!


DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. Volstagg's eyes are colored green, when they should be blue.
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"ÜBERNACHTUNGKRIECHER!"

TITLE: X-Men Origins: Nightcrawler (Marvel).

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: Adam Freeman & Marc Bernardin (writers).

DISSECTION: Again with the foreign language (German this time) inside the translation brackets. If you use translation brackets, everything inside it must be in the language you're using for story... not one word should be in the characters' language.

Boring book too; retconning Nightcrawler's life in the circus as one of hardships and discrimination, instead of the original back-story of him being accepted among freaks. The circus owner keeps him drugged between acts, the rest of the circus crew, except Margali Szardos and her children, treat him as a beast... tsk.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars. There is also a poster for a small German circus, which ought to be local, in English. And yes, I know that word up there in the title of the dissection is made up.
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A 5.9 Bazzars average, lower than I expected... Cover Of The Week was this beautiful piece by Mark Brooks for Uncanny X-Men #522:


Excellent homage to WWII nose art. Now, the Moments Of The Week are just two, first up, creative ways to slay vampires:


Vampshish kebab! Then, annoying Gary Stu villain Mr. X gets pwnd by Amadeus Cho:


Take that! That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...

THE DISSECTOR!