The Dissector #82.

DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)

[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]

"Hurry the fuck up down there! Do I need to remind yeh this's an invasion? Like with pointy swords and people dying and shit?" Unnamed Saxxon commander in the 1100s, Northlanders #7.

Well, that quote up there really broke the suspension of disbelief for me with this book. I don't expect characters in a comic to speak old Norse or whatnot, but there are some things that just don't do it... I almost considered this, and another use of the word "fuck" as dissections; but I realized they were just tools the writer uses to carry across emotional points. Last column's DT! was guessed by Sully; it was that Spider-Woman's eyes should be green and not blue. Also, the anonymous poster that spotted my "Beast Boy/Cyborg" error from column #80 calls himself DrSilent.

Now, we've had some creator sightings for the last two columns: within one day, I get two creators to rebuke dissections, good! First, the lovely and talented Christina Strain, colorist for Runaways among other things, drops by the comments for column #81 and says: "Victor's eyes have always been green. People just seem to assume they're brown. And I'm positive about this because I picked the original color for them back when he was introduced into the series."

CeeCee (can I call you that?), thanks for stopping by; I'll bow to you on this (hell, you're such a good colorist, and such a beautiful woman, that I'd bow to you anyway!). I should have checked a comic book first; but the only sources I had on hand were wikis, both Marvel Universe and Marvel Database, and they both had him with brown eyes... also, Jo Chen colors Victor's eyes brown on covers. My bad, I've edited those wiki pages following your authoritative information. Digging up my Marvel Handbook to see what it says there... yup, "hazel", but I'm still retracting on it.

Once more, thanks for stopping by, and keep up the good work, I'm a fan of your stuff, you bring life to these characters with your colorings, and Runaways is one of my favorite comics of the last few years. Afterwards, CeeCee stopped by again and said: "Thanks! *thumbs up* Sorry for sounding so short btw. I think that's why I'm so touchy about it, you're not the only person to mention the green eyes. Even an editor or two's asked me, "aren't they brown???"" Thank you CeeCee; you need to let Marvel know they've got his eyes wrong, they even have it wrong in their own references.

Then, the comments section for column #81 is graced by Dwayne McDuffie, writer of the current Justice League of America and classics like Damage Control, saying: "Iron Man sported repellor rays first (check your Marvel Essentials), introducing repulsors shortly after unveiling his red and gold armor. Originally, the terms were used interchangeably. Eventually, repulsors referred to his primary offensive weapon, while the increasingly-rarely used repellors became just that, magnetic, metal repelling rays, reverse tractor beams, if you will. I don't remember the story, but I'm guessing Iron Man used the repellors to push some metal away, right?"

He signs "The Culprit", so I'm guessing he took it in good humor (same as CeeCee, and I can't stress enough how much respect I have for comic book creators). Thanks for leaving that comment Dwayne; I've never seen that referenced anywhere, but I'll take your word for it. I've been reading Avengers Classics (plus old Marvel comics for the past 20+ years), but I don't remember "repellors", nor can I find a reference anywhere in the intarwebz.

Again, I'll take your word for it, and retract. Hey, did you know you'd won (all in good humor, of course) one of the Autopsy Awards for last year? And that you accepted it wearing a Green Lantern costume? Thanks for stopping by, and let me say that I've loved your Damage Control books, and I'm having fun reading your JLA run.

So, those two retractions bump the average for column 80 to 5.0 and 5.7 for column 81. And now, the Dissector's Pick Of The Week!!!! This is the first week of July, 07/02, Best Book Of The Week is Hellblazer Special: Chas #1; a good start for a mini with Constantine's favorite cabbie, good art, and a good concept about the original cab drivers of London binding a demon with their routes. Worst Book Of The Week, on the other hand, goes to Supergirl #31; not a bad comic per se, but too little is told in this issue, it's a waste. Now, the dissections:
<-------------------------------->
"ATOMIC EYES."

TITLE: All-New Atom (DC).

ISSUE: 25.

CULPRIT: Alex Bleyaert (colorist).

DISSECTION: I'm sorry to see this book end; although it was much more fun when Gail wrote it. In this case, Ray Palmer's eyes are colored incorrectly.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"THE BEAST REARS ITS FEET AGAIN!"

TITLE: Astonishing X-Men V3 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 25.

CULPRIT: Simone Bianchi (artist).

DISSECTION: Beast.

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. Also, when they talk about the alien starship graveyard, there seems to be a page missing.
<-------------------------------->
"MOST THE DISSECTIONS..."

TITLE: The Dissector (Studio Robota).

ISSUE: 81.

CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).

DISSECTION: Yes Snakebyte, I made a booboo and wrote "most the Italian language" instead of "most of the..."

DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"OH, GROW UP... OR SHRINK..."

TITLE: The Legion of Super-Heroes V5 (DC).

ISSUE: 43.

CULPRIT: Jim Shooter (writer).

DISSECTION: Colossal Boy's powers, as usual.

DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
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"THIS IS MAKING ME HORNEE."

TITLE: Linger (Virgin Comics).

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: Shamik Dasgupta (writer) and/or Nilesh P. Kudale (letterer).

DISSECTION: Food can be an "aphrodisiac", not "aphrodesiac".

DISSECT-O-METER: 2 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"TXTING NORSEMEN."

TITLE: Northlanders (DC/Vertigo).

ISSUE: 07.

CULPRIT: Brian Wood (writer) and/or Travis Lanham (letterer).

DISSECTION: So, in the 1100s you "plnt" your feet to defend your "communinty"?

DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars each.
<-------------------------------->
"HOLY DISSECTION."

TITLE: Rann/Thanagar Holy War (DC).

ISSUE: 03 of 04.

CULPRIT: Ron Lim (penciller) and/or John Kalisz (colorist).

DISSECTION: Besides the horrible art, see if you spot the dissection here:

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"NEW YORK, NEW YORK!!!"

TITLE: Secret Invasion: Front Line (Marvel).

ISSUE: 01 of 05.

CULPRIT: Brian Reed (writer).

DISSECTION: It is said in narration boxes that "(...) the average New Yorker still might only see Spider-Man or the Fantastic Four once, maybe twice, in a lifetime.", but that's not believable, not with the amount of exposition you see in the comics. It's like living in Hollywood, and frequenting the posh areas where celebrities go and never seeing one.

DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"YER WRONG!"

TITLE: Star Trek: Assignment: Earth (IDW).

ISSUE: 03.

CULPRIT: John Byrne (writer) and/or Robbie Robins (letterer).

DISSECTION: "You're" is used instead of "your".

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"PINK SKINS, LIKE THE ANDORIAN CALL HUMANS..."

TITLE: Star Trek: New Frontier (IDW).

ISSUE: 04 of 05.

CULPRIT: Leonard O'Grady (colorist).

DISSECTION: Yet again, Kallinda Cwan's skin is pink, instead of red, as Thallonian skin is.

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
And a new column comes close to an end; with an average of 5.5 Bazzars in thirteen dissections, a predictably low average. Moments Of The Week! First up, someone finally remembers how to spell his codename:

Thanks to artist Marco Checchetto; he needs to let writer Koslowski know. Second and last MOT, a Vulcan (or half-Vulcan) admits what we all knew:

Meh, she's probably just being sarcastic; she is half-Romulan, after all. That's it for now, until next week, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...

THE DISSECTOR!

The Dissector #65.

DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)

[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]

"Watching was Charles the Dominator of family on TV--SUBMISSION OF NICOLE EGGERT!" The Head, All-New Atom #21.

Catching up as fast as possible; this is the first column dealing with books published in March, specifically, the week of 03/05. Last columns DT! was correctly spotted by "Mini-Dissector" himself, Snakebyte, as Data being referred to as a Lieutenant, instead of a Lieutenant Commander. Any geek, particularly any geek as geeky as Gordo (from KODT) knows that!

The Dissector's Picks Of The Week? Well, Best Book once again goes to Amazing Spider-Man, this time issue #552; as Brand New Day keeps moving along at a nice pace. Nice overall plot by the whole writing team, and although Bob Gale (co-writer and co-producer of the Back To The Future Trilogy, among other things, including some Batman and Daredevil comics) is not as fun to read as, say, Dan Slott, he does do a good job on his issues. Phil Jimenez delivers fantastic art, with great, distinct faces that let you know immediately who's who, and enhanced by Andy Lanning's inks. My only complain is that Jeromy Cox (first time I see him in Marvel book, that I recall) colors the issue a bit flatly, making it seem an issue from the mid-to-late-90s; when they traditional coloring and computer color separations; and not a modern comic, where all coloring is made by computer. By the way, I just realized that Stephen Wacker is crediting himself as "Stephen Whack Her"...

Worst Book Of The Week goes to Countdown Presents; Lord Havok And The Extremists 05 of 06. It's not BAD per se, but it wasn't a good comic either. Boring and predictable story by Frank Tieri, uninspired and low-detailed art by Liam Sharp and Mark Robinson, and flat colors (as with Cox, see above) by Dave Baron. Definitely a lackluster miniseries, this one, and in a week where I didn't ready any reaaaally bad books, this took the cake. Alright, time for the dissections!
<-------------------------------->
"THE INCREDIBLE SIZE-CHANGING BABY!"

TITLE: Cable V2 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 01.

CULPRIT: Ariel Olivetti (artist).

DISSECTION: That damn Mutant Messiah baby keeps changing sizes, it's outrageous!

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"SORRY, BUT YOU'RE NOT THE ONE..."

TITLE: Clandestine V2 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 01 of 05

CULPRIT: Alan Davis (writer).

DISSECTION: Adam Destine tells how, during the Crusades, he was the supposed fulfiller of a prophecy about a "red-haired infidel"... only he's clearly blonde, both currently, and in the flashback panels.

DISSECT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"MAKE UP YOUR MIND!!!"

TITLE: Countdown To Final Crisis (DC).

ISSUE: 08.

CULPRIT: Tom Chu (probably the cover colorist).

DISSECTION: Mary Marvel's lightning is yellow on the cover.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"THAT, TOO."

TITLE: DC Special: Raven (DC).

ISSUE: 01 of 05.

CULPRIT: Damion Scott (penciller).

DISSECTION: Raven's Tattoo is missing from her lower back. Granted, she could be hiding it somehow. Why does DC, incidentally, name this DC Special: Raven, instead of just Raven, or at least Raven: The Something? Beats me.

DISSECT-O-METER: 2 Bazzars. Also, her eyes are purple, when they should be blue, and in between mentions of pop culture "Avrill" is mentioned, presumably referring to "Avril Lavigne." (but that gets a veeeery low rating... just a 1).
<-------------------------------->
"DISBELIEVE!!!! DISBELIEVE!!!"

TITLE: Detective Comics (DC).

ISSUE: 842.

CULPRIT: Peter Milligan (writer).

DISSECTION: Why has the notion of Batman not believing in mystical energies or objects taken such a deep root among writers? He's seen and fought numerous magic users, he's fought alongside Dr. Fate and is friends with Zatanna. Why can he doubt that a suit of armor can have magical properties?

DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
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"ULTIMATE GOOF-UP."

TITLE: The Dissector (Studio Robota).

ISSUE: 64.

CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).

DISSECTION: Snakebyte called me on two mistakes, for one I wrote "The Ultimates 3 V1"; when I had actually said in the previous column "The Ultimates V3".

DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars, I also called Liz Allan "Allen".
<-------------------------------->
"GREEN LAANTERN."

TITLE: Green Lantern V4 (DC).

ISSUE: 28.

CULPRIT: Geoff Johns (writer).

DISSECTION: Salaak. Ugh!

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
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"A SOUND DISSECTION."

TITLE: Logan (Marvel).

ISSUE: 01 of 03.

CULPRIT: VC's Joe Caramagna (letterer).

DISSECTION: Check out this panel, and FYI, this is Logan in WWII:


DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"PACKS ROMANA."

TITLE: Pax Romana (Image).

ISSUE: 02 of 04.

CULPRIT: Jonathan Hickman (writer) and/or unnamed letterer.

DISSECTION: The character "Nicholas" is referred to as "Nickolas" in one page.

DISSECT-O-METER: 2 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"OH, OH, WHERE DID YOU LO-GO?"

TITLE: Powers V2 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 28.

CULPRIT: Michael Avon Oeming (artist).

DISSECTION: One character has a logo (presumably a Super Shock emblem) that comes and goes from his t-shirt.

DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"I DON'T ANYTHING HERE."

TITLE: The Sisterhood (Archaia Studios Press).

ISSUE: 01 of 03.

CULPRIT: Christopher Golden & Thomas E. Sniegoski (writers) and/or Marshall Dillon (letterer).

DISSECTION: This one comes from Dominik B.: "On Page 10, the terrorist guy says “I don’t you who you are...” when there should quite probably be a verb instead of the first “you."

DISSECT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"MAGICAL MISTERY EURO-TOUR!"

TITLE: The Sisterhood (Archaia Studios Press).

ISSUE: 01 of 03.

CULPRIT: Wellington Alves (artist).

DISSECTION: Dom also tells us that "Vienna doesn’t look anything like it’s shown on page 18. Europe isn’t this para-medieval wonderland full of castles and green forests. Vienna is actually a rather big city."

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. Also, another lettering or writing error, reported by Dom as well; there are quotation marks without a reason in speech balloons on page 21.
<-------------------------------->
"IT'S A BFG!"

TITLE: Teen Titans Year One (DC).

ISSUE: 03 of 06.

CULPRIT: Karl Keschl (artist) and/or Amy Wolfram (writer).

DISSECTION: Look at the picture below, and you'll see that Kerschl not only neglected to correctly represent the famous sculpture called "Non-Violence" (part of the UN art collection at its headquarters in NYC, and usually called "Knotted Gun"), but he also decided (perhaps writer Amy Wolfram too) to make it gigantic, just so Wonder Woman and Wonder Girl could stand on it and look down at normal people. Not only did they enlarge it; they couldn't even get the shape of the base well, and numerous other details in the sculpture itself.


DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"THE HELMETS ARE FEELING BLUE."

TITLE: Teen Titans Year One (DC).

ISSUE: 03 of 06.

CULPRIT: Karl Keschl (artist) and/or Amy Wolfram (writer).

DISSECTION: The UN Headquarters in NYC have their own, civilian, security force; there's absolutely no deployment of "blue helmet" DPKO (Department Of Peacekeeping Operations) troops inside of it. Then why are DPKO troopers pointing assault rifles and other firearms at Wonder Woman?

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. Also, as far as I know, Aqualad did not have the power to command water at this point in his life, and this point in time, while wearing his original costume (with red gloves and boots); Green Arrow did not sport a beard.
<-------------------------------->
"GETTAOUTTAHERE!"

TITLE: The Twelve (Marvel).

ISSUE: 03 of 12.

CULPRIT: J. Michael Straczynski (writer).

DISSECTION: It's the 21st century Marvel 616 Earth; why would anyone doubt a superhero's origin story? Regardless of that, I am enjoying this book immensely.

DISSECT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars.
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"GET OUT OF MY SITE!"

TITLE: Uncanny X-Men (Marvel).

ISSUE: 496.

CULPRIT: Will Panzo (assistant editor) and/or Nick Lowe (editor).

DISSECTION: Another one from Dominik; in the "previously" blurb, it reads “Cyclops found Iron Man at the sight of the ruined Xavier Mansion” when it should be “at the site".

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"AND WHAT'S A GALACTUS?"

TITLE: Uncanny X-Men (Marvel).

ISSUE: 496.

CULPRIT: Ed Brubaker (writer).

DISSECTION: Cyclops does not know what a Celestial is. However when he was in X-Factor, they encountered Celestials, and even LIVED IN A SHIP WHICH WAS OF CELESTIAL ORIGIN. Even if at the time he did not know what they were called; he should know by now.

DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
So, we have 21 dissections in total, with an average of 4.9 Bazzars... lower than usual, but still higher than last time. Let's wrap up this column (with luck, I should be able to crank out another one before my shift ends, since it's a slow day at work) with the Moments Of The Week. Let us start with something we knew was coming, but still made me go "Whoa!":


Yup, a Red Lantern, and it's not a commie! I know Laira is not the first, but being a former GL, it's more shocking. Next up, Penance beats the crap out of Nitro:


Now that's what I call anger management!!! Lastly, the all grown-up son of Mr. E, one of the heroes from The Twelve, looks just like former Uruguayan president Jorge Batlle:


Yep, now we can be certain he's a comic book character, alright! That's it for now, until next week, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...

THE DISSECTOR!

The Dissector #61.

DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)

[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]

"I'm Starman. I'm from the future. WEEEOOOOEEEE!" Starman (Thom Kallor), Justice Society Of America V3 #12.

Wow, this was fast; here's another installment of my catch-up, this time for the comics released on the week of 02/06; first week of February. In fact, I could have released this column a bit earlier; but I was waiting on the confirmation of one piece of data. Also, I thought it best to let you guys breath a bit. That quote up there just cracked me up, and it also got to be one of the Moments Of The Week. Now, on to the preliminary part of the column, last time's Dissect This! was spotted by Snakebyte, and it was the fact that the civilian who was asking about his pants had his legs painted blue... badge for ya, Snakebyte!

As it has become horribly usual, we have bad news; Dave Stevens, creator of The Rocketeer, passed away today, from leukemia, at the age of 52. May he be rocketing through the sky. But, I have to move on with this column, so the Dissector's Picks Of The Week are up next: Best Book Of The Week goes to All-New Atom #20; a perfect ending for Gail Simone's run on the book. Action packed, funny, intelligent, all she had has used to. It almost was Doktor Sleepless #5, but as fun as that issue was, it wasn't as shocking as other Dok issues are.

The Worst Book Of The Week is, without a doubt, Speed Racer: Chronicles Of The Racer #1, in which writer Arie Kaplan wants us to get behind the idea that the "Racer" in the character's name is actually a title, handed down for generations, including a Roman charioteer named "Swiftus Maximus" with supporting cast members like "Sparkus" and "Popadopalus"? Also, the art by Robby Musso and German Torres is amateurish, belonging in a low quality webcomic. I hope I'm strong enough to not read the next issue.... A little note before we start with the dissections; last column I recommended a blog called "Profiles In Villainy"; it's actually called "Comic Coverage", you can find the right link (and not just to one tag, as I gave before) in the links section of my blog.
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"WE'RE SHORT-STAFFED."

TITLE: Amazing Spider-Man V1 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 549.

CULPRIT: Marc Guggenheim (writer).

DISSECTION: Dexter Bennett, the new publisher/owner of the Daily Bugle (sorry, "DB") says that the newspaper's building houses "32 editors, 16 reporters, 8 photographers"; which I find hard to believe. The Washington Post has 784 news and editorial employees, and only if 10% of those work in their building, that's almost double what the DB seems to have. The New York Times, which The Daily Bugle is supposed to be an equivalent of sorts, has 350 staff writers... see where I'm heading? Furthermore, I've been to El País, one of the national newspapers here in my country (we're barely more than 3.5 million people in Uruguay), and I saw, just in one of the floors, well over sixteen reporters.

DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
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"I USE BEAUTY CREAMS."

TITLE: Countdown To Final Crisis (DC).

ISSUE: 12.

CULPRIT: Jesus Saiz & Tom Derenick (pencillers).

DISSECTION: Granny Goodness is drawn looking too young.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars. Also, Harley's sandal's change between pages.
<-------------------------------->
"BATMAN'S A BIT WUSSY THESE DAYS..."

TITLE: Detective Comics (DC).

ISSUE: 841.

CULPRIT: Paul Dini (writer).

DISSECTION: Are we really supposed to believe that Batman considers some hired goons from the "Wonderland Gang" (lead, apparently, by the Mad Hatter), who don't even have metahuman powers, "formidable threats"??!?!

DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
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"WHAT'S IN A NAM?"

TITLE: The Dissector (Studio Robota).

ISSUE: 60.

CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).

DISSECTION: Sully caught me, I wrote "Tome Derenick", instead of "Tom..."

DISSECT-O-METER: 1 Bazzar.
<-------------------------------->
"JUSTICE SOCIETY OF DISSECTIONS."

TITLE: Justice Society Of America V3 (DC).

ISSUE: 12.

CULPRIT: Dale Eaglesham (penciller).

DISSECTION: I complain about this regularly.


DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars, it's reached that point.
<-------------------------------->
"IT'S BEEN SOOLONG..."

TITLE: Metal Men V4 (DC).

ISSUE: 06 of 08.

CULPRIT: Duncan Roleau (writer).

DISSECTION: Chemo (who's apparently sentient now, and the CEO of the evil corporation the MM face, don't get me started), says that Oolong has been liberated of its human overlords.... uhm.... last time we saw it, Dr. Cale was the head of state there...

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars. Also, Lead is called "Led".
<-------------------------------->
"SHOW SOME INITIATIVE, SCOTTY BOY."

TITLE: Uncanny X-Men (Marvel).

ISSUE: 495.

CULPRIT: Ed Brubaker (writer).

DISSECTION: Tony Stark says that the government is pushing him to get the X-Men to register; to what Cyclops says that they're not "joining your Initiative. We're not working for the government." Seems to me that Brubaker does not understand what the Registration Acts entails; you don't have to work for the government, you just have to register if you have powers. If you want to be a superhero (regardless of whether you have powers or not); you have to register as one, and receive training and/or certification, but you don't have to work for the government if you don't want to.

DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"WHERE'S WULVERINE AND NIGHTCRUWLER?"

TITLE: Uncanny X-Men (Marvel).

ISSUE: 495.

CULPRIT: VC's Joe Caramagna (letterer).

DISSECTION: Pfft.... look below.


Hahahaha!!!! COLUSSUS!!!!!

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars
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This week we had just 10 dissections, and an equally low average: 5.3 Bazzars. Ah, never mind, let's enjoy the Moments Of The Week, shall we? First up, we have our quote of the week (or part of it)... it made me laugh hard:


Starman just wanted to make us laugh this week, and he went on to make out with himself:


Next, Spidey sings a variation to the lyrics of his theme song:


Uh-oh! Almost at the end, we get Ryan "Atom" Choi's fantasies:


He has the best super-villain induced hallucinations! And lastly, Doktor Sleepless blatantly lies to the authorities:


That's it for now, until next week, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...

THE DISSECTOR!

The Dissector #52.

DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)

[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]

Atom (Ryan Choi, flying grabbing Wonder Woman's belt): "I... I feel I should let you know I dreamt this once"

Wonder Woman: "... Yes. Thank you for sharing that with me. I appreciate truthfulness in all forms."

Atom (the ( ) means thinking): "(God help me, I can't seem to shut up around her.) I also had this dream once, where you and Power Girl..."

Wonder Woman: "I get that a lot, actually."

Atom: "(Somebody shoot me, please. Stop me before I say something even stupider!) And this one time? There was you and you had this big thing of whipped cream, and..."

Wonder Woman: "I'm just guessing here, but you spend a lot of time on the internet, am I correct?"

Atom: "I'm sorry. I don't know what I'm... I'm not normally like this. (Well, not out loud.)"

The previous dialogue is from All-New Atom #18. Best. Dialogue. Ever. To. Grace. A. Comic. Book. Ok, so maybe I am exaggerating, but it was very funny, and the quote of the week turned again into the dialogue of the week. For All-New Atom. Once more. Issue #18 is also The Dissector's Pick Of The Week for Best Book; for the third or fourth time. Again Gail Simone spins a solid story, with great dialogue and very funny humor, with the solidity coming from the verisimilitude of all it... you believe this is happening, even among all the weirdness that goes on around Ryan Choi.

Mike Norton and Andy Smith as usual (well, for Norton) provide great pencils, giving us a great B-movie atmosphere, as well as rendering Wonder woman as both a gorgeous woman and a warrior. Trevor Scott and Keith Champagne add great inking, all and even if Alex Bleyaert's colors are too bright for my personal taste, they're appropriate for this kind of book. I'm sad that Simone and Norton are leaving the book after two more issues, but it was a good run.

Worst Book of the week? Well, unsurprisingly, Infinity Inc. V2 #4. Milligan, Fiumara, Southworth et al deliver a boring and confusing plot, muddy art, and everything makes less and less sense every issue. I think any hopes I had of this getting better are slowly fading away... Last week's Dissect This was deftly spotted by Miss Kitty Fantastico, and it was the fact that Donna Troy's eyes are colored incorrectly. I quote "are Donna Troy's eyes supposed to be all white? She doesn't have some kind of eye-glowy superpower, does she (like, whenever her eyes light up her origin story gets retconned)?" Yet another Badge for MKF, who is one away from being our first Lt. Commander!

There are still some people who owe their votes for the Autopsy Awards, so I'm still not revealing those. As of this week's column, I'm not writing up all of the dissections; boring or minor ones like a wrong eye color or a misspelled word won't usually get but a mention in the write-up for a more interesting dissection. So, on with the goof-ups!
<-------------------------------->
"SMALL, BUT..."

TITLE: All-New Atom (DC).

ISSUE: 18.

CULPRIT: Gail Simone (writer).

DISSECTION: The Atom is in a small (action figure) size, yet with enough density to hit and render unconscious an enemy. If he's so dense, how does a child pick him up with no effort?

DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"THAT'S NOT MONARCH!"

TITLE: Countdown: Arena (DC).

ISSUE: 02 of 04.

CULPRIT: Scott McDaniel (penciller).

DISSECTION: This one was reported by Dominik B., and I can't believe I missed it. Monarch's mask eye-slits are showing normal eyes and skin through them, when they should be silver, as in Captain Atom's.

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"SEE! IT'S NOT EVEN THE SAME GUY ONE MOMENT TO THE OTHER!"

TITLE: Countdown: Arena (DC).

ISSUE: 02 of 04.

CULPRIT: Guy Major (colorist).

DISSECTION: Major manages to color Monarch's eyes (incorrectly drawn by McDaniel, see above) blue in one panel, and brown two panels down.

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"UNA COSTUME, UNA VEZ MAS..."

TITLE: Countdown To Infinite Crisis (DC).

ISSUE: 21.

CULPRIT: Jamal Igle (penciller)

DISSECTION: Una's costume is drawn incorrectly, wrong boots, wrong bracelets. There's a couple more dissections not worth mentioning; in fact, I wasn't even going to mention this one, but then I noticed I wasn't mentioning any Countdown To Infinite Crisis dissections.

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"I RAN SO FAST I LOST THEM..."

TITLE: Justice Society Of America V3 (DC).

ISSUE: 11.

CULPRIT: Dale Eaglesham (penciller).

DISSECTION: Jay Garrick's boots are missing the little wings. Also, on a separate dissection, Ted Grant's hair is once more colored incorrectly.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"THEY'LL NEVER DISCOVER US!"

TITLE: Lobster Johnson: The Iron Prometheus (Dark Horse).

ISSUE: 04 of 05.

CULPRIT: Mike Mignola (writer) and Jason Armstrong (artist).

DISSECTION: Nazi spies with a swastika tattooed on the palm on their hands? Yup, very stealthy.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"GIANT LIZARDS? RIGHT, AND NOW YOU'RE GOING TO TELL ME THERE'S ALSO UNDERSEA CIVILIZATIONS!"

TITLE: The Order V2 (I was previously unaware of an existing book named The Order, from 2002) (Marvel).

ISSUE: 05.

CULPRIT: Matt Fraction (writer).

DISSECTION: A car is totally wrecked in a highway, and the driver said it was done by a giant lizard man, and superheroes (one wearing a mecha armor, and another carrying a pseudomagical hammer) don't believe her at all. In the Marvel Universe. Right.

Also, this week's "Nick Fury's Files" are about the Fantastic Four, and contain the usual crap.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"MURDER SHE WROTE, BUT YOU DIDN'T READ IT."

TITLE: The Trials Of Shazam (DC).

ISSUE: 10 of 12.

CULPRIT: Judd Winick (writer).

DISSECTION: Freddy Freeman and his guide call on Zatanna to help them find clues on a crime scene, and only after her magic reveals nothing, they see a large-ass message he wrote in his own blood...

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"ULTIMATE DISSECTION!"

TITLE: The Ultimates V3 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 01 of 05.

CULPRIT: Joe Madureira (artist).

DISSECTION: Dissect me this, dissect me the following image (no, it's not Cap's tiny head).


DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"DRESSED FOR BATTLE."

TITLE: Uncanny X-Men (Marvel).

ISSUE: 493.

CULPRIT: Billy Tan (penciller).

DISSECTION: So, the Sentinels attack while Warpath and Hepzibah (the X-Men needed another furry besides Beast? I guess is for those who like furry-chicks) are in bed; Warpath jumps right at the mechas in his PJ pants, knives ready (I guess he sleeps with them under the pillow, or Hepbzibah likes it rough). Hepzibah growls while she clutches the covers close to her chest, seeming to be naked at least from the waist up.

Then, after two pages, and what seems to be only five to ten seconds later, she's jumping through the air (shooting a regular shotgun, instead of some fancy space gun), completely clothed, wearing her top, pants and boots, and even her headband (ok, the headband I understand, you wouldn't want your hair in your face while you fight).

DISSECT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"WHO THE HELL GAVE ME SHORTS?"

TITLE: Uncanny X-Men (Marvel).

ISSUE: 493.

CULPRIT: Billy Tan (penciller).

DISSECTION: I shouldn't even be writing up this one, under the new "policy", but what the hell. Rockslide is wearing a shirt, when his costume is shirtless; plus he's wearing short pants and no boots (don't remember if he actually wore boots, but he sure as hell wore pants, not cycling shorts).

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"HULK SMASH! HULK REBUILD!"

TITLE: World War Hulk: Aftersmash.

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: Rafa Sandoval (penciller).

DISSECTION: Iron Man sends Damage Control to use the old Avengers Mansion as headquarters, as the sub-levels survived the destruction of the mansion in Disassembled. Problem is, they show the mansion standing, with just a few cracks and broken walls.

DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"IRON MAN KILLED HIM, AND NOW HE WANTS TO MAKE IT UP BY GIVING HIM UNDUE CREDIT?"

TITLE: World War Hulk: Aftersmash.

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: Greg Pak (writer).

DISSECTION: Tom Foster, nephew of the late Goliath, gets a hold of equipment in the Avengers Mansion and cracks the growth formula his uncle used. Tony Stark (while he's getting his ass kicked by Foster) says "So you cracked your uncle's growth formula.", but that was Hank Pym's formula Bill Foster used, not his own.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
Even counting the dissections I didn't go into detail, we only had 17 in total for this week (comics released on 12-05); but they fetched a passable average score of 6.3 Bazzars. You want to know which were the Moments Of The Week? The first one comes from the Best Book of the week, All-New Atom #18, when Wonder Woman presents Atom with a gift (that she'd kept inside her cleavage, so even if it was a paper clip, it's valuable):


Hell yeah, the JLA needs an Atom! Next up, Batmen from alternate universes size each other up:


Yup, there's something to be said for high-collared Batmen. Next, one of those moments that make me cringe:


Yes, that is baby Kal-El in Krypton, DC is completely crapping themselves on the definitive Superman origin (Man Of Steel, by John Byrne, in case you're wondering), and dresses Lara as a Beatles groupie and Jor-El in a House of El body glove. Ech.... And last, but not least, it's sexual innuendo from Apokolips!


"This will teach you to mess with Granny. YOU WILL LOVE GRANNY!!! TAKE GRANNY'S LOVE UP THE ARSE!!!" *cough* Sorry, channeling Apokolips tough love... That's it for now, until next week, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...

THE DISSECTOR!

The Dissector #48.

DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)

[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]

"Kid... You're fired. We get back to Earth, you're demoted to Excalisuck or some damn team." Wolverine, to Armor, Astonishing X-Men V3 #23.

Alright, so this column is actually out on time; as I'm finishing it on early Wednesday morning when it's due on Thursday. Yet, all this rushing to get on track did make me forget that... this past Sunday, November 11th (not 12th, as I said a few weeks ago), was the column's second birthday!!! Yes, two years ago The Nitpicker's Column made it's first appearance, in issue #549 of the now sadly extinct Comic Book Electronic Magazine (or CBEM, for shorts, you can check the still read-worthy archive here).

Editor David LeBlanc generously accepted my offer of writing this new column, and said in his editorial, about the first one "The Emag is also on the move, ever-changing, ever-evolving. After the recent success of COMICS OBSCURA in our pages we were offered another new column which should prove a bit interesting. Some of you may react strongly - either agree or disagree with the analysis offered. My criteria is that it is on topic and written well. Check out THE NITPICKER starting this week and see if you have an opinion."

I, myself, opened the first column with "Hello, welcome to The Nitpicker's Column, where in a (hopefully) weekly basis I'll bring to your attention bring some mistakes, goofs, mix-ups and the like, that I find on the comics I read that week.". A lot has changed, like a converted Muslim, the column has a new name; that first installment didn't have a closing comment or Bazzar average; and of course, things like the Picks Of The Week, or the Quote Of The Week weren't even a glimmer in my eye. In fact, I was usually unable to keep a weekly schedule, and that first column only has 7 nits! What was I reading? Who was featured in that first column?

Well, there were Star Wars books, Infinite Crisis, House Of M, Warren Ellis, Greg Rucka, Brian Michael Bendis, and some guy name Haden Blackman, who I haven't heard of again, and frankly, I don't regret that, since I didn't like how he wrote Rogue Squadron. And on my own front? Well, let's say my writing style wasn't even half as good as the humble attempts at wordsmithing I do today, so it's kind of painful to read that column, in a sense. Thanks David, for that early shot at writing, and to Jeffery D. Sykes, editor of the Kryptonian Cybernet, where I published my first piece of comic criticism, a Silver Age Superman review.

A lot has changed in my life since that first Nitpicker, too. I've changed jobs, to a new, much better one; I've traveled to Australia, one of the places I've always wanted to visit; I've been offered to write in a couple of books; my son has grown up beautifully, and I've gained a sizeable amount of loyal readers. Enough reminiscing, I don't want to bore you all. I know I promised that this week we'd have a column with my favorite nits, but I just didn't have the time. If work is nice to me, I'll try to have the nominees to the Autopsy Awards for best dissections in each category for you, my faithful readers to vote on. Then, after a week or two of voting, by the end of the month, I'll publish a special column with the results of the Awards.

So, before going on with the column, I must admit that last week's dissection about Psylocke being in that X-Men pin-up wasn't as accurate as I'd like. Matías N., fellow writer from ICS.net pointed out that the Asian girl in that group shot is probably meant to be Armor (as evidenced by the haircut and sleeveless costume), who joined Cyclops' team in Astonishing X-Men. Still, if that's the case, Djurdjevic still goofed up when he colored her hair purple, when it's black. Furthermore, as Astonishing happens before the current storylines, Armor does not appear to be a part of the senior X-Men squads; and in fact, there have been a few indications that point to her once more being part of the younger team, the New X-Men. Badge for you, Matías.

With that out of the way, let me tell you that the Guvnor Paul C figured out (amidst several shots) that the problem with last column's Dissect This! was that Himmler's eyeballs are about the size of a human fist in one panel, then normal-sized in the following ones (and they had been normal in the pages and issues before). Good job Guvnor, here's another badge for ya! So, you want to know which are the Dissector's Picks Of The Week? Sure thing; best book of the week was without doubt All-New Atom #17, and it's about the second or third time this book is picked as best of the week; even those weeks where it wasn't, it was still of the top five reads.

Gail Simone doesn't miss a bit with her story, and when there's a fill-in, it's still entertaining and well-crafted. The same can be said about Mike Norton's art, simple but consistent, well inked by Trevor Scott, and superbly colored by Alex Bleyaert, who understands that "simple" does not mean "bland" or "insufferably bright:. This particular issue shows how human, young, and still naive (but at the same time believing in human potential) is Ryan Choi, and how jaded some of DC's older guard heroes have become. Read it, you'll like it.

The worst book is one that was already kind of bad with the first issue, and that unfortunately, doesn't show any signs of getting better. I'm talking about Infinity Inc. V2, with a confusing story by Peter Milligan, along with bad art from Max Fiumara & Travel Foreman, which makes the story even more difficult to follow, because it's hard to tell the difference between some characters. Add on top of that that Dom Regan's colors are really stomach-turning, and you've got yourself an awful comic. Alright, let's get on with this week's dissections, shall we?
<-------------------------------->
"WHO SAID THAT?"

TITLE: 2001 Maniacs Hornbook.

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: Uncredited letterer.

DISSECTION: This is not from a new book; or rather, it kind of is. A few months ago, Avatar published a preview book for 2001 Maniacs, with previews of the story, interviews, making of, etc. But on page ten of the book, second one of the story preview, they omitted one the character's speech balloons, and gave him another one's. See below:


DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"APOKOLIPS WILL DRESS YOU UP FOR SLAVE LABOR."

TITLE: Countdown To Final Crisis.

ISSUE: 25.

CULPRIT: Ron Lim (penciller).

DISSECTION: Well, I was beginning to fear that I would have no nits for this issue! But Matt Brady from Newsarama (another badge for him, not that he cares), for asking Adam Beechen and Mike Carlin the following: "Well, hey - there must be some labor - obviously, there must be some - he (Jimmy Olsen) was beaten out of his clothes in #26, and here he's fully dressed.", to which Beechen and Carlin responded, respectively "On Apokolips all molecules immediately become unstable." and "Ha-- or so that charlatan Professor Richards would have you believe!"

Yeah, keep sidestepping the questions guys. On a happier note, it seems, based on that same interview, that Giffen is still doing layouts. Perhaps he just missed a couple of issues of layouts (or at least complete layouts) and had to be billed only as story consultant.

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"DISSECT IT... IN RED!"

TITLE: Countdown Presents The Search For Ray Palmer: Red Rain.

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: Kelley Jones, Eric Battle & Angel Unzueta (pencillers).

DISSECTION: I'm not familiar enough with styles of any of those pencillers to sort out who did what page (in fact, I don't think I'd ever heard of Battle before), but try to spot the pretty easy dissection in this page.


DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"VAMPIRES ARE NOT REAL!!!! COME, LET'S FLY THANKS MY ALMOST-MAGICALLY POWERED RING, YOU DARK AVENGER WHO CAME BACK FROM THE DEAD!"

TITLE: Countdown Presents The Search For Ray Palmer: Red Rain.

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: Peter Johnson (writer).

DISSECTION: So, Jason Todd and Kyle Rayner, who each have more than enough experience with the supernatural, are attacked by long-fanged, point-eared, bestial-faced hobos, yet they don't believe they've found vampires? Right.

DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"SO MANY CRISIS(ES)!"

TITLE: The Dissector.

ISSUE: 47.

CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).

DISSECTION: I just caught myself doing this mistake when I was about to save the draft for this column (as if it was finished); and corrected it. However, I wondered, have I made this mistake in last column too? Turns out that yes, when talking about the worst book of the week, I called it "Countdown to INFINITE Crisis", when it should be "Final Crisis". Say, a question... do you think I should go back and correct my mistakes (when I notice them a good time after posting), or leave them as they are?

DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"METAL BALLOONS."

TITLE: Metal Men V4.

ISSUE: 04 of 08.

CULPRIT: Pat Brosseau (letterer).

DISSECTION: Gold's speech balloon on page 8 is wrongly placed.

DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"SHE'S RIPPED."

TITLE: Midnighter.

ISSUE: 13.

CULPRIT: Jon Landry (penciller).

DISSECTION: On the first panel of page 19, Midnighter rips off most of the front part of Rosie's shirt, leaving her breasts exposed, which she covers with her arms. Yet by the second to last panel of that page, her shirt covers all of her midriff, when there didn't seem to be enough fabric to do that. In fact, by the following page, we can see that she's tied up her shirt, leaving her midriff exposed.

DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"I JUST QUICK-BOOM TUBED TO APOKOLIPS, AND GOT MY CLOTHES REGENERATED, LIKE JIMMY!"

TITLE: Midnighter.

ISSUE: 13.

CULPRIT: Jon Landry (penciller).

DISSECTION: Same situation as above, Rosie's shirt's been torn to shreds by Midnighter from the collar down, yet on page 20 the only area of the garment that shows that level of deterioration is the knotted-up lower-half.

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"HE. IS. ALFRED."

TITLE: Robin V2.

ISSUE: 168.

CULPRIT: Peter Milligan (writer).

DISSECTION: Damian, Batman's son, is enough of a Ninja Badass (TM) to beat R'as' best guards, and to kick the snot out of Robin (twice), yet Alfred can sneak up on him AND push him?

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"BADGERING."

TITLE: Star Trek: Alien Spotlight: Vulcans.

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: Josep Maria Beroy (penciller/inker).

DISSECTION: Most of the badges in the book don't have the department insignia, as it's usual for IDW's Star Trek books. I'm tired of this, as in fact, some characters are not even wearing badges at all at times. This comic was actually good, if nothing extraordinary.

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"KAN'T KAUSE ME INKOVINIENCE WITH YOUR FAKE KRYPTONITE!"

TITLE: Superman V1.

ISSUE: 670.

CULPRIT: Kurt Busiek (writer).

DISSECTION: This was a better installment (and the final one) of the "Third Kryptonian" storyline, but Busiek has Superman, Supergirl, and Power Girl, all affected by synthetic Kryptonite flechettes, when Power Girl, as a denizen of Earth-2, should not be affected by this universe's Kryptonite.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars. It might just be that this synth-K has less power, but a broader spectrum than real K.
<-------------------------------->
"IT'S A KITCHEN GLOVE."

TITLE: Superman V1.

ISSUE: 670.

CULPRIT: Rick Leonardi (penciller) and Alex Sinclair (colorist).

DISSECTION: Batman fights the guy hunting down Kryptonians, using the Fortress of Solitude's arsenal, and ends up wounded, and with his costume damaged, to the point of losing his left-hand glove. Yet on page 30, he's got some weird kind of red glove on his hand, but with blue "forearm spikes", when it had been show that he had lost his glove and sleeve almost up to the elbow.

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. A red glove??!!?
<-------------------------------->
"PET PEEVE #1"

TITLE: Uncanny X-Men.

ISSUE: 492.

CULPRIT: Billy Tan (penciller).

DISSECTION: Beast.

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"THIS IS OF NO USE TO S.H.I.E.L.D.."

TITLE: Several Marvel titles released the week of 11-07.

ISSUE: N/A.

CULPRIT: Uncredited writer.

DISSECTION: Several Marvel issues this last week included some bonus material, including a section of supposedly secret data that Nick Fury collected for use as leverage on the X-Men if he should need it. First of all, there's some information that's not "in character" data, such as X-Men references in a Weird Al song, or how Storm was originally conceived as a different character by Dave Cockrum. Those are pieces of information nick Fury could use as leverage, because to him, they're not even real.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"YEAH, SOME LEVERAGE."

TITLE: Several Marvel titles released the week of 11-07.

ISSUE: N/A.

CULPRIT: Uncredited writer.

DISSECTION: Some of the information, such as the fact that Wolverine's claws don't come out of any permanent holes but rather create wounds every time they are unsheathed, are not things that can be used as leverage of any kind.

DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"TONY, YOU DRUNK BASTARD, QUIT STEALING MY DESIGNS!"

TITLE: Several Marvel titles released the week of 11-07.

ISSUE: N/A.

CULPRIT: Uncredited writer.

DISSECTION: Now for a specifically factual error; the "file" says that Nightcrawler's image inducer was invented by Tony Stark, when it was actually designed by Charles Xavier (probably based on Sh'iar tech), and then built by Stark Enterprises.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"WHO'S THAT MORPH?"

TITLE: Several Marvel titles released the week of 11-07.

ISSUE: N/A.

CULPRIT: Tom Grummett (writer of comments on his own sketches, since he'll be artist for New Exiles).

DISSECTION: Another section of the bonus material is character sketches and descriptions for the upcoming first issue of New Exiles (did we need another #1? No, we didn't... GAHHH!!!), and it includes a description of Morph, that says, among other things "MORPH is Morph.". but no, he's NOT Morph, he's actually a version Proteus that believes he's Morph, something Claremont had been ignoring in Exiles. He finally made a passing reference to him not being Morph in the most recent issue of "X-Men: Die By The Sword".

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"ARTIE, HOW YOU'VE GROWN!"

TITLE: Infinity Inc. V2.

ISSUE: 03.

CULPRIT: Dom Regan (colorist).

DISSECTION: In addition to how bad this book's been, on page 2, the psychologist's skin is colored a bright pink. Normal humans don't have that skin color.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
Short and sweet column that puts me up to date, and hopefully, I'll be able to spend the next days finishing the prep work for the Autopsy Awards (apart from reading this week's books, of course). The average was 6.6 Bazzars, not bad for such a short column (to be fair, there's a handful of books I haven't received yet). As mentioned before, soon (on Sunday, most likely) I'll post the nominees for the categories that are up for vote. Before I forget, here's the Moment Of The Week, which is actually kind of retro, as it comes from the Jimmy Olsen special DC released with Jack Kirby stories from Jimbo's own book. Check it out, it's a creature genetically engineered from Jimmy's DNA, some gamma rays, and the King's own eyebrow-DNA!


That's it for now, until next week, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...

THE DISSECTOR!

The Nitpicker #43.

DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)

[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]

"Whafukupmudafuka?" Pony Moore aka "Mushmouth", meaning "How are you doing, Iron?", in Iron And The Maiden #3.

Welcome to this week's column, right on time, if I might say. That jewel up there is an example of exaggerated Ebonics, and I just loved the whole sequence where Pony's dialogue is subtitled. Before letting you know what the picks are this week, I need to say that last column I had a nit called ""BART WHO? I'M JUST A STRIPPER WITH MY SKIN PAINTED ORANGE.", about the Green Arrow-Black Canary Wedding special, where I mentioned that I only rated it as a 7 because I couldn't see Starfire using her powers... well, I had another look at the issue and she is indeed seen flying around, flaming tamarafro blazing. So it goes up to a ten, which raises the average for that column to 6.1. Not much, but it needed to be said.

The Nitpicker's Pick Of The Week of 10/03 for best book is issue #10 of Scalped. While this book has shown a high (and consistent) quality throughout the whole run so far, this issue was the first to depart a little from The Sopranos In A Reservation, and fully focus on the "little people". I've seen mixed reviews from Native Americans on this book, but as far as I can tell, Jason Aaron writes a compelling and basically correct picture of how things happen in Indian Country. Yes, he might embellish the organized crime part of it, but if he didn't we wouldn't have a work of fiction, would we?

R.M. Guera's art, as always, helped by Giulia Brusco's colors, provides the gritty ambience the story needs. I know that if we need a new writer for Hellblazer, Aaron might be the guy for it, and Guera could do the art if (I hope not) Leonardo Manco ever drops that book. Back on the topic of life on a reservation, I've been listening to some Native American hip hop, and I particularly recommend Canadian band War Party. And the worst issue of the week is Exiles #99. Really Chris Claremont, did you have to spend an entire issue on this?

As for last column's Spot The Nit, nobody got it, and it was so simple. Queen Clea is an Atlantean, who should have fins on the back of her lower legs. No HNSC badges this time around. Speaking of the HNSC, here's a rundown of the Corps, and the amount of badges each member holds. Grand Admiral: MaGnUs (N/A), Lieutenants: Miss Kitty Fantastico (9), Ensigns: Roy (4), Bea (3), Dominik B. (3), The Guvnor Paul C (2), Matt Brady (1), Paul O'Brien (1), Trasgo (1), Tylo (1), Mean Jeff (1), Ilustr8r (1), leahcim (1), TokerTheKid (1), Paul O'Brien (1). Keep it guys; Roy, two more badges and you'll make Lieutenant!

Alright, time for the nits.
<-------------------------------->
“I DIG THIS CITY, HOWEVER YOU SPELL ITS NAME."

TITLE: The All-New Atom.

ISSUE: 16.

CULPRIT: Roger Stern (writer) and/or John J. Hill (letterer).

NIT-TO-PICK: On page 10, Panda says "Ivytown" instead of "Ivy Town".

NIT-O-METER: 1 Bazzars, it could be a colloquialism.
<-------------------------------->
“STRING THEORY."

TITLE: Countdown.

ISSUE: 30.

CULPRIT: Ian Churchill (cover penciller), Elisabeth Gehrlein & Jeanine Schaefer (assistant editors), and Mike Carlin & Mike Marts (editors).

NIT-TO-PICK: Now, I was just checking out the cover to write up some nits I found, and I just noticed that it's got two intersecting circles, colored blue, and bearing the number 15... signaling that the Challengers From Beyond visit Earth 15... but they didn't do that for the last two Earths they visited. Nevertheless, that's not a nit, but the fact that Donna Troy is wielding a lasso on the cover, is. She hasn't used one in a long time (excepting the time she used one to go to Wonder Woman's aid in the annual we commented last column), nor she wields one inside the book.

NIT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
“GROWING GREENERY."

TITLE: Countdown.

ISSUE: 30.

CULPRIT: Ian Churchill (cover penciller), Elisabeth Gehrlein & Jeanine Schaefer (assistant editors), and Mike Carlin & Mike Marts (editors).

NIT-TO-PICK: Kyle Rayner's costume keeps shifting ever so-slightly. Yes, I know it's created by his ring, but still.

NIT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
“HAL RAYNER."

TITLE: Countdown.

ISSUE: 30.

CULPRIT: Ian Churchill (cover penciller), Elisabeth Gehrlein & Jeanine Schaefer (assistant editors), and Mike Carlin & Mike Marts (editors).

NIT-TO-PICK: Kyle Rayner's counterpart in the cover is Hal Jordan, not Earth-15 Kyle as inside the book.

NIT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
“I HAD TO LOOK MY BEST ON THE COVER."

TITLE: Countdown.

ISSUE: 30.

CULPRIT: Ian Churchill (cover penciller), Elisabeth Gehrlein & Jeanine Schaefer (assistant editors), and Mike Carlin & Mike Marts (editors).

NIT-TO-PICK: Jason's clothes, particularly his pants and boots, as well as his mask, are different to what he wears inside the book.

NIT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
“THESE ARE MY DRESS GOGGLES."

TITLE: Countdown.

ISSUE: 30.

CULPRIT: Tom Chu (colorist).

NIT-TO-PICK: On page 4, Plastic Man's goggles are colored yellow instead of white.

NIT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
“RIDDLE ME THIS..."

TITLE: Detective Comics.

ISSUE: 837.

CULPRIT: John Kalisz (colorist).

NIT-TO-PICK: Alright, this one's easy, what's wrong with this picture?

NIT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
“SCROUNGING NEW GOD."

TITLE: Detective Comics.

ISSUE: 837.

CULPRIT: Paul Dini (writer).

NIT-TO-PICK: A good story, but why would Desaad need WayneTech technology when he has access to Apokoliptian science. Is he hiding stuff from Darkseid? Well, he's done so in the past without the need to use terran technology. Well, he might want to cause some mischief that leads to earthly culprit.

NIT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
“BATMAN IS GOOD AT RIDDLES..."

TITLE: Detective Comics.

ISSUE: 837.

CULPRIT: Paul Dini (writer).

NIT-TO-PICK: At the end, all the dialogue seems to point to the fact that Batman was trying to test the Riddler's abandonment of his villanous ways. However, he says "Riddler knew the fee he'd collect from Wayne was more than he'd get trying to fence the serum.", which would only make sense if he said "less than..."

NIT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars, you can still pick it up from the context.
<-------------------------------->
“ITNEVERHAPPENED!"

TITLE: Exiles.

ISSUE: 99.

CULPRIT: Mark Paniccia (editor) and/or Nathan Cosby & Jordan D. White (assistant editors).

NIT-TO-PICK: The recap page mentions Morph without no indication as to the fact that he is in fact, Proteus.

NIT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
“AN ALIEN FROM THE PLANET TWIGGIA."

TITLE: Green Lantern Corps V2.

ISSUE: 16.

CULPRIT: Patrick Gleason (penciller).

NIT-TO-PICK: Salakk looks nothing like he should on the cover, for one, his arms are too skinny.

NIT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
“CREDIT DUE, WITH PROPER SPELLING."

TITLE: Green Lantern Corps V2.

ISSUE: 16.

CULPRIT: Eddie Berganza (editor), Adam Schlagman (assistant editor), and/or Phil Balsman (letterer).

NIT-TO-PICK: On page 2, on the credits, one of the inkers is credited as "Vincente" Cifuentes, when his name is Vicente. Furthermore, the name "Vincente" doesn't even exist. Cifuentes himself said to me "Easy, I'm already used to being named anything from "Vincente" to "Vincent"... it's the issue with having a name that's got different spellings in other languages. Pascual Ferry got named "Pascal"... hehe... things like this happen. (...) I don't really pay much attention to it, it's happened to big names before me, but thanks anyway for mentioning this incident on your blog."

NIT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. I do pay attention to it Vicente.
<-------------------------------->
“HEY, A MAN'S GOTTA LOOK GOOD EVEN IN BATTLE!"

TITLE: Green Lantern Corps V2.

ISSUE: 16.

CULPRIT: Patrick Gleason (penciller).

NIT-TO-PICK: On page 4, Vath's right sleeve is completely shredded, only a few swirls of cloth cover his shoulder. Then, by page seven, his sleeve is unscathed.

NIT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars, yes, he could have fixed the costume with his ring, but seeing as to how they're in the middle of combat, I don't buy it much.
<-------------------------------->
“OH, IS THAT HIS REAL NAME? I SEE, THAT'S WHY WE NEED TO BE READY IF HE GOES NUTS!"

TITLE: Green Lantern Corps V2.

ISSUE: 16.

CULPRIT: Dave Gibbons (writer) and/or Phil Balsman (letterer).

NIT-TO-PICK: On page five, Isamot Kol refers to Sodam Yat as Sodom. Ouch.

NIT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
“BLEEDING RED."

TITLE: Green Lantern Corps V2.

ISSUE: 16.

CULPRIT: Guy Major (colorist).

NIT-TO-PICK: There is a blue skinned alien on page seven, who's bleeding red blood.

NIT-O-METER: 2 Bazzars, possible, but unlikely.
<-------------------------------->
“FREEZE VISION?"

TITLE: Green Lantern Corps V2.

ISSUE: 16.

CULPRIT: Guy Major (colorist).

NIT-TO-PICK: Up to page eleven, Sodam Yat's eyes are green, then they turn blue, only to be green again by page 19.

NIT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
“OH NO, THE POOR SUPERBEING IS GETTING HIMSELF KILLED!"

TITLE: Green Lantern Corps V2.

ISSUE: 16.

CULPRIT: Dave Gibbons (writer).

NIT-TO-PICK: Arisia is suprised to see that Sodam Yat survives an onslaught by several Sinestro corpsmen and Manhunters, of an intensity that presumably his ring wouldn't stop. She shouldn't be surprised that a Daxamite has Superman-like powers under a yellow sun.

NIT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
“GIVING YOU THE FINGERS."

TITLE: Green Lantern Corps V2.

ISSUE: 16.

CULPRIT: Patrick Gleason (penciller) and Guy Major (colorist).

NIT-TO-PICK: On page 17, just for one panel, Salakk's right hand glove is fingerless. Even if they've shown him ocassionally wearing fingerless gloves, on the cover, and the rest of the book, his gloves have fingers.

NIT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
“STAR TREK BADGES AGAIN..."

TITLE: Star Trek: Year Four.

ISSUE: 03.

CULPRIT: Gordon Purcell (penciller/inker)

NIT-TO-PICK: Wow, this issue's art was actually good... or at least of a professional quality, if not of my particular predilection. Every single face is drawn, no matter how far away from the "camera", and almost every single department symbol is drawn on the insignias, except for the ones that are too small to actually see without zooming in. There is a Star Trek God... unless Steve Conley returns next issue. Only one problem, though, and it's that Nurse Chapel wears an insignia with a red cross, instead of the correct medical/science circle with two lines.

NIT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars, I couldn't find any picture where we could actually see her badge, but I'm pretty sure it would be as I said.
<-------------------------------->
“SAN ANTONIO, TEXAS, HOME TO MANY SPANIARDS."

TITLE: Super-Villain Team-Up: Modok's 11.

ISSUE: 04 of 05.

CULPRIT: Fred Van Lente (writer).

NIT-TO-PICK: Armadillo says, on page nine, "¿Qué coño es eso?", which is like saying "What the fuck is that?" Now, kudos to Van Lente for using the opening question mark and the tilde in the first word, as well as the ñ; but "coño" is not a word that's common, in Mexico, they would most likely say "¿Qué madres es eso?" Coño is used in Spain, and some Centro American countries, and while Armadillo was born in San Antonio, Texas, he is of Hispanic descent, and it's very likely that his roots are Mexican.

NIT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
“I'M A LITTLE BLUE..."

TITLE: Supergirl V5.

ISSUE: 22.

CULPRIT: Renato Guedes & Rod Reis (colorists).

NIT-TO-PICK: Una's costume is colored in a different shade of purple, almost blue.

NIT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
“I TORE THEM WHEN JUMPING FROM THE TRAIN."

TITLE: Supergirl V5.

ISSUE: 22.

CULPRIT: Renato Guedes (penciller).

NIT-TO-PICK: Una's costume is different than it should be, I'll ignore the fact that she still has the belt and bracers, since they've kept that consistent from the moment they changed it; however, her boots now have holes on the sides, as in Duo Damsel's old seventies costume, a feature Una's costume did not include.

NIT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
“DRUNKEN VISIONS."

TITLE: Supergirl V5.

ISSUE: 22.

CULPRIT: Renato Guedes (penciller/colorist) & Rod Reis (colorist).

NIT-TO-PICK: On the double page spread where Supergirl remembers the "threeboot" Legion, the legionnaire's costumes (and their physical looks, to a smaller degree) are slightly different, in both design and color. I'm willing to consider it a single nit, and give it a low rating, because it's a dream sequence of sorts.

NIT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
“PEOPLE ALWAYS LOOK WORSE THAN YOU ACTUALLY REMEMBER."

TITLE: Tales Of The Sinestro Corps: Cyborg Superman.

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: Patrick Blaine (penciller).

NIT-TO-PICK: On the flashbacks, Terri Henshaw (the Cyborg's wife) appears differently than what she looked like back on Adventures of Superman #466, the issue the flashbacks are referencing. Specifically, her hair is the wrong length, and the shape of her body is completely different (T&A, anyone?). I understand art styles have changed, but if you're doing flashbacks, do them right.

NIT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars. Check for the other guys.
<-------------------------------->
“THE RADIATION DYED IT!"

TITLE: Tales Of The Sinestro Corps: Cyborg Superman.

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: David Curiel (colorist).

NIT-TO-PICK: Terri's hair is correctly colored red for most of the flashbacks, except for page eight, where she suddenly turns brunette.

NIT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars, could be a lighting thing.
<-------------------------------->
“YEP, SAME ONE PA KENT USES."

TITLE: Tales Of The Sinestro Corps: Cyborg Superman.

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: David Curiel (colorist).

NIT-TO-PICK: On page fifteen, the JLAers on the Watchtower are shown, and apart from the HORRIBLE faces, Red Arrow's hair is colored blond, instead of red, only to be red by the next page.

NIT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
“STILL THE SAME BRAND."

TITLE: Tales Of The Sinestro Corps: Cyborg Superman.

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: David Curiel (colorist).

NIT-TO-PICK: Same page, Vixen's hair is colored light brown, when it's actually dark brown, almost black.

NIT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
“SHIT, SO THAT'S WHY MY POWERS ARE SCREWY!"

TITLE: Tales Of The Sinestro Corps: Cyborg Superman.

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: Patrick Blaine (penciller).

NIT-TO-PICK: Vixen is not wearing her Totem Tantu! She's just wearing some cheapass ethnic-looking necklaces!

NIT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
“NOTHING UP MY SLEEVES, AT LEAST NOT THE RIGHT COLOR."

TITLE: Tales Of The Sinestro Corps: Cyborg Superman.

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: David Curiel (colorist).

NIT-TO-PICK: Still on the same page, Vixen's "gloves" are incorrectly colored silver, when they're the same tan color than the rest of her uniform, only to be correctly colored two pages later.

NIT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
“ALRIGHT STARMAN, COME OUT WHEREVER YOU ARE!"

TITLE: Tales Of The Sinestro Corps: Cyborg Superman.

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: Alan Burnett (writer).

NIT-TO-PICK: Again that same page, Black Canary mentions that "Gravity's shifting. There's a mass beyond the moon creating a pull..." and Vixen says "Yes, I can feel it. It's barely perceptible." Uh.... how can she feel it? Who's power is she mimicking? Superman is not there, and unless Geo-Force is around, but off-panel, there is nobody else there she could be getting that kind of power from. Well, she could probably be mimicing a space animal, like Animal Man did when he used Sun Eater powers to get back to Earth in 52, but he needed an "upgrade" for that.

NIT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
“I'M MAD AT YOU SUPERMAN, YOU RUINED MY COSTUME!"

TITLE: Tales Of The Sinestro Corps: Cyborg Superman.

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: David Curiel (colorist).

NIT-TO-PICK: For the first part of the book, up until page seventeen, the Cyborg's costume has blue leggings, red boots and briefs, a blue/black cape, and the left part of his shirt is colored red, while the right side is colored black. Then by the aforementioned page, his leggings and his entire shirt are colored black.

NIT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
“THESE RINGS LOOK SO GOOD, I HAD TO PUT MORE OF THEM ON!"

TITLE: Tales Of The Sinestro Corps: Cyborg Superman.

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: Patrick Blaine (penciller).

NIT-TO-PICK: The Cyborg wears yellow power rings in his left hand, and nothing on his mechanic hand. However, from page 22 and on, yellow energy comes out of his right hand, and his knuckles glow yellow. Yes, it's possible that he has power rings cybernetically attached to his hand, and hidden inside it until he activates them, but...

NIT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
“THERE'S SOMETHING SLIGHTLY ABOUT THIS NIT."

TITLE: The Nitpicker.

ISSUE: 40.

CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).

NIT-TO-PICK: On the nit titled "GREEN GLOW OF FASHION MAKEOVERS", I wrote "Kyle Rayner's costume is drawn and colored slightly between", when it should be "slightly different".

NIT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
“I'M DOUBTING MYSELF NOW."

TITLE: The Nitpicker.

ISSUE: 42.

CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).

NIT-TO-PICK: I rated the nit called "WHO GAVE POWERS TO THE STRIPPER?" with 10 "doubts".

NIT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
“HE'S ALSO A FORMER AVENGER."

TITLE: Uncanny X-Men.

ISSUE: 491.

CULPRIT: Nick Lowe (editor) and/or Will Panzo (assistant editor).

NIT-TO-PICK: On the recap page, Caliban is referred to as "former X-Man", and he's never been part of that team.

NIT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
“SCREW THOSE OTHER TEAMS."

TITLE: Uncanny X-Men.

ISSUE: 491.

CULPRIT: Christopher Yost (writer, Endangered Species back-up).

NIT-TO-PICK: Beast mentions, via narrator boxes, that he's "seen many things in his years as an X-Man and Avenger". I highly doubt that he'd omit his stint as a Defender, or at least his time as founding member of X-Factor.

NIT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
So, the Bazzars average for this week is in the normal range, a 5.7. And as I don't feel like being too chatty this time around, the DAYAMN! moment of the week is the following: the Guardians of the Universe have removed the restriction on use of lethal force from the power rings, and of course, most lanterns hesitate to use their newfound ability. Not Salakk, since he's a no-nonsense mudafuka:

Now, I don't condone murder, but that was hardcore, and completely unexpected (although not out of character) from pickle-head. That's it for now, until next week, I'll be on the outlook for more nits, because (almost) nothing escapes...

THE NITPICKER!