Creator sighting!
Rob Schwager, colorist for Young X-Men (among others) stopped by and left a comment on column #78. He simply said "Oooff... The Dissector strikes again!", so I assume he took my dissecting in good humor... well, he didn't color Superman's hair blond or something like that, and it's only the first time he appears in the column.
Thanks for dropping by Rob; and everyone, go check his blog for some really cool art, including great rockabilly/hot rod themed stuff. Betcha didn't know colorists did other things than paint the funnybooks you read,huh? Thanks again Rob!
Saturday, July 26, 2008
The Dissector #78.
DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)
[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]
"My giant-sized teammate is fighting a mechanized version herself on the streets of downtown Tokyo... I've been preparing for this day my entire life!" Andrew Wells, Buffy The Vampire Slayer Season Eight #15.
Yet another column? My, I'm really serious about this catching-up business, ain't I? Here I am with the column for comics published on the week of 06/04. Last column's DT! was solved by Lt. Cmdr. Snakebyte, who correctly spotted that Fever was referring to "Vundabar", but the speech balloon said "Vandabarr", Badge for you, and you're three badges away from being full Commander. Dissector's Picks Of The Week! Best Book Of The Week was Amazing Spider-Man V1 #561; again, the art is not my favorite, but it had a good hero-villain fight, and the MJ/Spidey team-up was golden. Worst Book Of The Week was Supergirl V5 #30, not only the art is full of inconsistencies, but I can't take any more "boohoo, I'm an alien, cousin Kal doesn't understand me" stories about Supergirl.
On another note, I just came from seeing The Dark Knight. Good movie? Yes. Great movie? No, not by a long shot. It's fun, and it has a great Joker portrayal (except for that thing with his mouth he does all the time, like a senior citizen playing with his denture); the Joker is not only great because of Ledger's acting, but because how well the script portrays the kind of madness and anarchy the character causes, how he uses people as mere pawns in his chaos-spreading schemes. Then there's the excellent fight scenes, and superb references to comics like its namesake and The Killing Joke. However, not only it's overly long (the Hong Kong scene is fun, but unnecessary), and most important at all (to me): it falls short in "wowing" me.
There's also the little things that bug me, most of them stemming from Nolan's over eagerness to be realistic; this is a superhero film, so you can keep verisimilitude while still going a bit over the top. For example, even if I can stand a make-up wearing Joker (and just barely), a burn victim Two-Face that looks like an undead, it just breaks my suspension of disbelief... I mean, he's disfigured, but it's too lifelike to feel like it belongs in Batman. I'll give the movie a 3 out of 5 (or possibly 3.5), I liked Batman Begins a lot more. Also, what the hell is up with Batman riding a motorbike with his cape flying behind him and touching the wheel? DANGER!!! Anyhoo, on with the dissections.
<-------------------------------->
"I WON'T BUDGE."
TITLE: Astonishing X-Men Sketchbook Special (Marvel).
ISSUE: One-shot.
CULPRIT: Simone Bianchi (penciller).
DISSECTION: Until they show, in story, or tell, in continuity, how Beast mutated again, I will keep on considering drawing him with ape feet WRONG.
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"HEART TO HEART."
TITLE: Astonishing X-Men Sketchbook Special (Marvel).
ISSUE: One-shot.
CULPRIT: Simone Bianchi (penciller).
DISSECTION: A sketch of Cyclops new costume shows an X emblem over the right side of his chest, and a notation that the "X on his heart..." Uhm, Simone, the human heart is to the left of your chest.
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"DISSECTION FROM THE FUTURE."
TITLE: Cable V2 (Marvel).
ISSUE: 04.
CULPRIT: Duane Swierczynski (writer).
DISSECTION: Come on, this one is easy.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"HAIR RIDDLES."
TITLE: Detective Comics (DC).
ISSUE: 845.
CULPRIT: John Kalisz (colorist).
DISSECTION: The Riddler's hair is colored brown, when it should be black... and even then, he's usually depicted as balding, lately, and not with a lush head of hair like here.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"SEVEN OF NINE."
TITLE: The Dissector (Studio Robota).
ISSUE: 72.
CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).
DISSECTION: In that column, I dubbed issue 02 of 05 of Star Trek: New Frontier as 04 of 04.
DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars, double, of course. In column #68 I also dubbed issue 01 of 05 as just "01", which goes against my own numbering conventions, even if it's technically correct.
<-------------------------------->
"LIGHTNING ALWAYS FALLS IN THE SAME PLACE."
TITLE: Justice Society Of America V3 (DC).
ISSUE: 16.
CULPRIT: Dale Eaglesham (penciller).
DISSECTION: Will Eaglesham ever learn that Jay Garrick changed his chest emblem decades ago?
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars. Also, his boots are wrong.
<-------------------------------->
"PINK IS MY NEW OBSESSION, PINK IS LIKE RED BUT NOT QUITE..."
TITLE: Star Trek: New Frontier (IDW).
ISSUE: 03 of 05.
CULPRIT: Leonard O'Grady & John Hunt (colorists).
DISSECTION: Once more Kallinda Cwan's skin is pink, instead of red, as Thallonian skin is.
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"KRYPTONIAN STRANGERS."
TITLE: Supergirl V5 (DC).
ISSUE: 30.
CULPRIT: Ron Randall (artist).
DISSECTION: Randall completely redesigns the way Supergirl's parents look like; just because, apparently.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars. Also, for some reason, colorist Shannon Blanchard makes baby Kal-El's hair blonde.
<-------------------------------->
"IT'S AN OFFICER, HE'S BETTER FED."
TITLE: The War That Time Forgot (DC).
ISSUE: 02 of 12.
CULPRIT: Al Barrionuevo (penciller).
DISSECTION: A captured soldier is referred to one of his captors as an officer because of his "decorations", when there's none in his uniform.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"NO, NOT ALL SCOTS HAVE RED HAIR."
TITLE: Young X-Men (Marvel).
ISSUE: 03.
CULPRIT: Rob Schwager (colorist).
DISSECTION: Moira MacTaggert's hair is red, actually orange, when her hair is brown. At least writer Marc Guggenheim remembered Nightcrawler has medical knowledge.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
This column had thirteen dissections, and an average of 6.8 Bazzars... and that's really all I have to say about it. To finish, we have the Moments Of The Week, which have been few in number lately, mostly because I'm doing outdated columns, and what wowed me two months ago, doesn't necessarily have the same punch now. First up this week is Nick Fury and his new Howling Commandos!
Did he have to use a Liefeld gun? Next, one of the best 1-2 katana slicings I've seen in a long time:
Now THAT is Kick Ass. And last, torture in Starfleet?
Oh, no, not torture! I just love Zak Kebron, his my favorite New Frontier character. That's it for now, until next week, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...
THE DISSECTOR!
DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)
[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]
"My giant-sized teammate is fighting a mechanized version herself on the streets of downtown Tokyo... I've been preparing for this day my entire life!" Andrew Wells, Buffy The Vampire Slayer Season Eight #15.
Yet another column? My, I'm really serious about this catching-up business, ain't I? Here I am with the column for comics published on the week of 06/04. Last column's DT! was solved by Lt. Cmdr. Snakebyte, who correctly spotted that Fever was referring to "Vundabar", but the speech balloon said "Vandabarr", Badge for you, and you're three badges away from being full Commander. Dissector's Picks Of The Week! Best Book Of The Week was Amazing Spider-Man V1 #561; again, the art is not my favorite, but it had a good hero-villain fight, and the MJ/Spidey team-up was golden. Worst Book Of The Week was Supergirl V5 #30, not only the art is full of inconsistencies, but I can't take any more "boohoo, I'm an alien, cousin Kal doesn't understand me" stories about Supergirl.
On another note, I just came from seeing The Dark Knight. Good movie? Yes. Great movie? No, not by a long shot. It's fun, and it has a great Joker portrayal (except for that thing with his mouth he does all the time, like a senior citizen playing with his denture); the Joker is not only great because of Ledger's acting, but because how well the script portrays the kind of madness and anarchy the character causes, how he uses people as mere pawns in his chaos-spreading schemes. Then there's the excellent fight scenes, and superb references to comics like its namesake and The Killing Joke. However, not only it's overly long (the Hong Kong scene is fun, but unnecessary), and most important at all (to me): it falls short in "wowing" me.
There's also the little things that bug me, most of them stemming from Nolan's over eagerness to be realistic; this is a superhero film, so you can keep verisimilitude while still going a bit over the top. For example, even if I can stand a make-up wearing Joker (and just barely), a burn victim Two-Face that looks like an undead, it just breaks my suspension of disbelief... I mean, he's disfigured, but it's too lifelike to feel like it belongs in Batman. I'll give the movie a 3 out of 5 (or possibly 3.5), I liked Batman Begins a lot more. Also, what the hell is up with Batman riding a motorbike with his cape flying behind him and touching the wheel? DANGER!!! Anyhoo, on with the dissections.
<-------------------------------->
"I WON'T BUDGE."
TITLE: Astonishing X-Men Sketchbook Special (Marvel).
ISSUE: One-shot.
CULPRIT: Simone Bianchi (penciller).
DISSECTION: Until they show, in story, or tell, in continuity, how Beast mutated again, I will keep on considering drawing him with ape feet WRONG.
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"HEART TO HEART."
TITLE: Astonishing X-Men Sketchbook Special (Marvel).
ISSUE: One-shot.
CULPRIT: Simone Bianchi (penciller).
DISSECTION: A sketch of Cyclops new costume shows an X emblem over the right side of his chest, and a notation that the "X on his heart..." Uhm, Simone, the human heart is to the left of your chest.
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"DISSECTION FROM THE FUTURE."
TITLE: Cable V2 (Marvel).
ISSUE: 04.
CULPRIT: Duane Swierczynski (writer).
DISSECTION: Come on, this one is easy.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.<-------------------------------->
"HAIR RIDDLES."
TITLE: Detective Comics (DC).
ISSUE: 845.
CULPRIT: John Kalisz (colorist).
DISSECTION: The Riddler's hair is colored brown, when it should be black... and even then, he's usually depicted as balding, lately, and not with a lush head of hair like here.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"SEVEN OF NINE."
TITLE: The Dissector (Studio Robota).
ISSUE: 72.
CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).
DISSECTION: In that column, I dubbed issue 02 of 05 of Star Trek: New Frontier as 04 of 04.
DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars, double, of course. In column #68 I also dubbed issue 01 of 05 as just "01", which goes against my own numbering conventions, even if it's technically correct.
<-------------------------------->
"LIGHTNING ALWAYS FALLS IN THE SAME PLACE."
TITLE: Justice Society Of America V3 (DC).
ISSUE: 16.
CULPRIT: Dale Eaglesham (penciller).
DISSECTION: Will Eaglesham ever learn that Jay Garrick changed his chest emblem decades ago?
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars. Also, his boots are wrong.
<-------------------------------->
"PINK IS MY NEW OBSESSION, PINK IS LIKE RED BUT NOT QUITE..."
TITLE: Star Trek: New Frontier (IDW).
ISSUE: 03 of 05.
CULPRIT: Leonard O'Grady & John Hunt (colorists).
DISSECTION: Once more Kallinda Cwan's skin is pink, instead of red, as Thallonian skin is.
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"KRYPTONIAN STRANGERS."
TITLE: Supergirl V5 (DC).
ISSUE: 30.
CULPRIT: Ron Randall (artist).
DISSECTION: Randall completely redesigns the way Supergirl's parents look like; just because, apparently.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars. Also, for some reason, colorist Shannon Blanchard makes baby Kal-El's hair blonde.
<-------------------------------->
"IT'S AN OFFICER, HE'S BETTER FED."
TITLE: The War That Time Forgot (DC).
ISSUE: 02 of 12.
CULPRIT: Al Barrionuevo (penciller).
DISSECTION: A captured soldier is referred to one of his captors as an officer because of his "decorations", when there's none in his uniform.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"NO, NOT ALL SCOTS HAVE RED HAIR."
TITLE: Young X-Men (Marvel).
ISSUE: 03.
CULPRIT: Rob Schwager (colorist).
DISSECTION: Moira MacTaggert's hair is red, actually orange, when her hair is brown. At least writer Marc Guggenheim remembered Nightcrawler has medical knowledge.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
This column had thirteen dissections, and an average of 6.8 Bazzars... and that's really all I have to say about it. To finish, we have the Moments Of The Week, which have been few in number lately, mostly because I'm doing outdated columns, and what wowed me two months ago, doesn't necessarily have the same punch now. First up this week is Nick Fury and his new Howling Commandos!
Did he have to use a Liefeld gun? Next, one of the best 1-2 katana slicings I've seen in a long time:
Now THAT is Kick Ass. And last, torture in Starfleet?
Oh, no, not torture! I just love Zak Kebron, his my favorite New Frontier character. That's it for now, until next week, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...THE DISSECTOR!
Thursday, July 24, 2008
The Dissector #77.
DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)
[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]
"You are ejected from the sliding chute like phlegm from and old sailor's nostril." B.A. Felton, Knights Of The Dinner Table #135.
Damn, I'm on a roll here!!!! This is the column for comics published on 05/29, but still, I have almost two more months to cover... Last column's DT! was spotted by Sully; who gains one more badge, and it was that Grace's midriff tattoos were missing. The Dissector's Picks Of The Week, short and sweet: Best Book Of The Week was New Avengers #41, just because how well Bendis is tying up the start of his New Avengers run with Secret Invasion. He has a plan... The Worst Book Of The Week was Batman: Gotham After Midnight #1, simply boring.
<-------------------------------->
"THIS IS TOO MUCH, I CAN'T CAPE WITH THIS."
TITLE: Batman: Gotham After Midnight (DC).
ISSUE: 01 of 04.
CULPRIT: Kelley Jones (artist).
DISSECTION: Well, I'm all for dramatic effects, artistic licenses, but some things go too far. Yes, we know Batman's cape is shortened or lengthened by artists for visual impact, but this is way too much:
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"SPACESHMECES!"
TITLE: Blue Beetle V7 (DC).
ISSUE: 27.
CULPRIT: Will Pfeifer (writer) and/or Travis Lanham (letterer).
DISSECTION: Look kids! No bad Spanish! However, there's two words ("averageloser") fused together for no apparent reason.
DISSECT-O-METER: 1 Bazzar.
<-------------------------------->
"HONORARY DISSECTOR SCREW-UP.".
TITLE: The Dissector (Studio Robota).
ISSUE: 75.
CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).
DISSECTION: Two columns ago, I said that Snakebyte had just reached Lt. in the HDSC, but he's been Lt. Cmdr. for a long time now.
DISSECT-O-METER: 1 Bazzar. Oh, column #76 had quite a few errors that I found out and corrected after publishing it, but before anyone noticed, and before this one was published. So, nacht!
<-------------------------------->
"HE'S GOT NINE LIVES, THAT'S WHY HE DOESN'T STOP DYING."
TITLE: JSA: Classified (DC).
ISSUE: 38.
CULPRIT: Allen Passalaqua (colorist).
DISSECTION: Ted Grant's hair is colored incorrectly.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"JUSTICE DISSECTION INTERNATIONAL."
TITLE: Justice League International (DC).
ISSUE: 14.
CULPRIT: Gene D'angelo (colorist).
DISSECTION: After discarding some dissections I had for this column (sometimes they don't pass my second check, I deem them not to be dissections at all), I realized I had just nine left, so I raided my vault, and found this JLI dissection... two of them, actually, since they're from the same book. In this case, Fire's hair is colored black, when it should be green' but later it's correct.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars. Also, Ted Kord's hair is definitely red in this issue, instead of brown.
<-------------------------------->
"TRAITOROUS PINKO BASTARD!"
TITLE: King-Size Hulk (Marvel)
ISSUE: 01.
CULPRIT: Jeph Loeb (writer, "The Death And Life Of The Abomination" story).
DISSECTION: General Ross writes about The Abomination "Emil Blonsky was a spy, a traitor to this country." Uh, Blonsky was a Yugoslavian spy for the KGB, he didn't betray the US.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"QUOTE ME QUOTE ME!"
TITLE: Knights Of The Dinner Table (Kenzer & Co.)
ISSUE: 135.
CULPRIT: Jolly Blackburn (editor, in this case) and Bev Shideler (typo slayer).
DISSECTION: A footnote quote is repeated two pages in a row. Not really from this week, a lot older than that, but I got it that week.
DISSECT-O-METER: 1 Bazzar.
<-------------------------------->
"SHRINKAGE ISSUES"
TITLE: The Legion of Super-Heroes V5 (DC).
ISSUE: 42.
CULPRIT: Jim Shooter (writer).
DISSECTION: For the Nth time Jim. Colossal Boy's powers in this version are not growing to giant size, he is a giant who shrinks!
DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"THE U.S.UAL."
TITLE: Marvel Comics Presents V2 (Marvel).
ISSUE: 09.
CULPRIT: Rich Koslowski (writer).
DISSECTION: USAgent...
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"TITANS, AGAIN."
TITLE: Teen Titans V3 (DC).
ISSUE: 59.
CULPRIT: Sean McKeever (writer) and/or Travis Lanham (letterer).
DISSECTION: This one is a little more tricky than the last one.
DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
This time we had a very low average, 4.8 Bazzars, on eleven dissections, the lowest average since column #64's 4.1. Moments Of The Week, shall we? Just two this time, and from the same book, page, and scene! First up, the Legion gets new costumes... and everyone wants one!
Old school! The costumes are from Carmine's Custom Actionwear, when it should have been, IMHO, from Cockrum's Custom Actionwear. Second and last, something that applies to all metamorphs:
Yeah, Chameleon is nekkid! And damn, spell check found no typos in my column... weird... That's it for now, until next week, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...
THE DISSECTOR!
DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)
[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]
"You are ejected from the sliding chute like phlegm from and old sailor's nostril." B.A. Felton, Knights Of The Dinner Table #135.
Damn, I'm on a roll here!!!! This is the column for comics published on 05/29, but still, I have almost two more months to cover... Last column's DT! was spotted by Sully; who gains one more badge, and it was that Grace's midriff tattoos were missing. The Dissector's Picks Of The Week, short and sweet: Best Book Of The Week was New Avengers #41, just because how well Bendis is tying up the start of his New Avengers run with Secret Invasion. He has a plan... The Worst Book Of The Week was Batman: Gotham After Midnight #1, simply boring.
<-------------------------------->
"THIS IS TOO MUCH, I CAN'T CAPE WITH THIS."
TITLE: Batman: Gotham After Midnight (DC).
ISSUE: 01 of 04.
CULPRIT: Kelley Jones (artist).
DISSECTION: Well, I'm all for dramatic effects, artistic licenses, but some things go too far. Yes, we know Batman's cape is shortened or lengthened by artists for visual impact, but this is way too much:
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.<-------------------------------->
"SPACESHMECES!"
TITLE: Blue Beetle V7 (DC).
ISSUE: 27.
CULPRIT: Will Pfeifer (writer) and/or Travis Lanham (letterer).
DISSECTION: Look kids! No bad Spanish! However, there's two words ("averageloser") fused together for no apparent reason.
DISSECT-O-METER: 1 Bazzar.
<-------------------------------->
"HONORARY DISSECTOR SCREW-UP.".
TITLE: The Dissector (Studio Robota).
ISSUE: 75.
CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).
DISSECTION: Two columns ago, I said that Snakebyte had just reached Lt. in the HDSC, but he's been Lt. Cmdr. for a long time now.
DISSECT-O-METER: 1 Bazzar. Oh, column #76 had quite a few errors that I found out and corrected after publishing it, but before anyone noticed, and before this one was published. So, nacht!
<-------------------------------->
"HE'S GOT NINE LIVES, THAT'S WHY HE DOESN'T STOP DYING."
TITLE: JSA: Classified (DC).
ISSUE: 38.
CULPRIT: Allen Passalaqua (colorist).
DISSECTION: Ted Grant's hair is colored incorrectly.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"JUSTICE DISSECTION INTERNATIONAL."
TITLE: Justice League International (DC).
ISSUE: 14.
CULPRIT: Gene D'angelo (colorist).
DISSECTION: After discarding some dissections I had for this column (sometimes they don't pass my second check, I deem them not to be dissections at all), I realized I had just nine left, so I raided my vault, and found this JLI dissection... two of them, actually, since they're from the same book. In this case, Fire's hair is colored black, when it should be green' but later it's correct.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars. Also, Ted Kord's hair is definitely red in this issue, instead of brown.
<-------------------------------->
"TRAITOROUS PINKO BASTARD!"
TITLE: King-Size Hulk (Marvel)
ISSUE: 01.
CULPRIT: Jeph Loeb (writer, "The Death And Life Of The Abomination" story).
DISSECTION: General Ross writes about The Abomination "Emil Blonsky was a spy, a traitor to this country." Uh, Blonsky was a Yugoslavian spy for the KGB, he didn't betray the US.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"QUOTE ME QUOTE ME!"
TITLE: Knights Of The Dinner Table (Kenzer & Co.)
ISSUE: 135.
CULPRIT: Jolly Blackburn (editor, in this case) and Bev Shideler (typo slayer).
DISSECTION: A footnote quote is repeated two pages in a row. Not really from this week, a lot older than that, but I got it that week.
DISSECT-O-METER: 1 Bazzar.
<-------------------------------->
"SHRINKAGE ISSUES"
TITLE: The Legion of Super-Heroes V5 (DC).
ISSUE: 42.
CULPRIT: Jim Shooter (writer).
DISSECTION: For the Nth time Jim. Colossal Boy's powers in this version are not growing to giant size, he is a giant who shrinks!
DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"THE U.S.UAL."
TITLE: Marvel Comics Presents V2 (Marvel).
ISSUE: 09.
CULPRIT: Rich Koslowski (writer).
DISSECTION: USAgent...
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"TITANS, AGAIN."
TITLE: Teen Titans V3 (DC).
ISSUE: 59.
CULPRIT: Sean McKeever (writer) and/or Travis Lanham (letterer).
DISSECTION: This one is a little more tricky than the last one.
DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.<-------------------------------->
This time we had a very low average, 4.8 Bazzars, on eleven dissections, the lowest average since column #64's 4.1. Moments Of The Week, shall we? Just two this time, and from the same book, page, and scene! First up, the Legion gets new costumes... and everyone wants one!
Old school! The costumes are from Carmine's Custom Actionwear, when it should have been, IMHO, from Cockrum's Custom Actionwear. Second and last, something that applies to all metamorphs:
Yeah, Chameleon is nekkid! And damn, spell check found no typos in my column... weird... That's it for now, until next week, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...THE DISSECTOR!
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
The Dissector #76.
DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)
[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]
"*cough*wifebeater." Prodigy (Ritchie Gilmore), on Hank Pym, Avengers: The Initiative #13.
One step closer to being up to date, although there's some stuff in my future work plate that I know will make me fall behind again... unless I can write a column a day... Well, last column's Dissect This! was not found by my readers (granted, I didn't give them much time), but it's the fact that Beast Boy is morphed into some sort of demonic goat with a cape... and he's not a metamorph, just a zoomorph. Not much to say, except to launch the Dissector's Picks Of The Week (this is week 05/21, by the way):
Best Book Of The Week was Amazing Spider-Man V1 #560; just a nice story, even though the art is not my cup of tea. Plus, Mary Jane! Worst Book Of The Week was Checkmate V2 #26, not particularly bad, but unoriginal and boring. Now, go on to them dissections, please.
<-------------------------------->
"CUT PART A AND FOLD INTO PART B."
TITLE: Amazing Spider-Man V1 (Marvel).
ISSUE: 560.
CULPRIT: Marcos Martin (artist) and/or Dan Slott (writer).
DISSECTION: I know Paperdoll's victims end up as paper thin corpses, but everything said in the book confirms that they don't change composition, they don't actually turn into paper, but end up compressed (sort of as Flatman), which makes completely unlikely that a forensic investigator would use a non-medical pair of scissors and a box cutter to do the autopsy.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"BATMAN AND THE DISSECTORS!"
TITLE: Batman And The Outsiders V2 (DC).
ISSUE: 07.
CULPRIT: Carlos Rodríguez (penciller).
DISSECTION: Check this out, it's a hard one this time around:
DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"BALCK PANTHER."
TITLE: Black Panther V4 (Marvel).
ISSUE: 36.
CULPRIT: Reginald Hudlin (writer) and/or VC's Cory Petit (letterer).
DISSECTION: The word "missile" is spelled as "missle". One of these days I'm going to find out if letterers copy/paste text or retype it...
DISSECT-O-METER: 1 Bazzar.
<-------------------------------->
"HE MOVES SO FAST, WE CAN NEVER GET A GOOD A GOOD PICTURE OF HIM."
TITLE: The Brave And The Bold V3 (DC).
ISSUE: 13.
CULPRIT: Jerry Ordway (penciller).
DISSECTION: Jay Garrick's chest emblem, as usual, is drawn incorrectly.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"CECKMATE."
TITLE: Checkmate V2 (DC).
ISSUE: 26.
CULPRIT: Bruce Jones (writer).
DISSECTION: A Venezuelan man yells "JESUCHRISTO!", when it's "Jesucristo".
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"PSIBORG."
TITLE: DC Special: Cyborg (DC).
ISSUE: 06 of 06.
CULPRIT: Mark Sable (writer) and/or Steve Wands (letterer).
DISSECTION: The surname "Pérez" (my own, by the way) is spelled "Peréz", which is, of course, incorrect.
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. Also, Cyborg's friend, Ron, has brown eyes... then in one page he's got blue eyes.
<-------------------------------->
"FASTER THAN HIS OWN BOOTS!"
TITLE: The Flash V2 (DC).
ISSUE: 240.
CULPRIT: Freddie E. Williams II (artist).
DISSECTION: Jay Garrick's boots are drawn incorrectly, without the wings, and too high.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"NOT EVEN IN HIS OWN TEAM BOOK..."
TITLE: Justice Society Of America V3 (DC).
ISSUE: 15.
CULPRIT: Dale Eaglesham (penciller).
DISSECTION: Jay's emblem, as usual.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"CANARY FASHION."
TITLE: Tangent: Superman's Reign (DC).
ISSUE: 03 of 12.
CULPRIT: Jamal Igle (penciller).
DISSECTION: Black Canary's boots are drawn incorrectly. At least they started calling New Earth by its correct name.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"BUZZ OFF."
TITLE: X-Factor V4 (Marvel).
ISSUE: 31.
CULPRIT: Peter David (writer) and/or VC's Cory Petit (letterer).
DISSECTION: Rictor calls Arcade a "zañgano", a word that doesn't exist, it's supposed to be "zangano" (as in a drone, in bees). Plus, the "Ñ" is smaller than the rest of the letters to account for the tilde, which is incorrect, it should be the same size.
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"FUZZY MEMORIES."
TITLE: X-Men: Divided We Stand (Marvel).
ISSUE: 02 of 02.
CULPRIT: David Lafuente (artist, "The Sun Also Sets" story).
DISSECTION: Lafuente depicts Surge's memories of the Messiah Complex events, and draws her costume (and hairstyle) different from what she wore back then.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
A week with a regular average of 6.4 Bazzars, in thirteen dissections total. Moments Of The Week! Wait... someone else is doing Moments Of The Week, and that's Kirk Warren over at Weekly Crisis. He's been doing them since September 12, 2007, while I started doing Moments Of The Week in December that year... but September 1st, 2007, marks the first time I had the "WTF?/DAYAMN!" moments of the week, which ended up being basically the same thing. So we've been doing this almost for the same amount of time, and some of our MOTs match (including on his first MOT, Black Adam bungee jumping with Yeti entrails), so my hat's off to Kirk.
What's my first MOT this week? Reed Richard's anniversary gift to his wife:
Really Reed? A micro-galaxy with actual, living, sentient beings inside of it? Isn't that a little bit callous? Next, one of my favorite ultimizations of a Marvel character:
Va-va-boom!!!! Agatha Harkness has never looked so good! Now, a mystery revealed:
Batman is not THAT much of a dick... And last... despite the artist making her look like Amy Winehouse, this is a good moment:
"It's magic"? "let me explain to ya"? And she's reading Faust?!?!? That's rich, Dan Slott, very rich. That's it for now, until next week, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...
THE DISSECTOR!
DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)
[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]
"*cough*wifebeater." Prodigy (Ritchie Gilmore), on Hank Pym, Avengers: The Initiative #13.
One step closer to being up to date, although there's some stuff in my future work plate that I know will make me fall behind again... unless I can write a column a day... Well, last column's Dissect This! was not found by my readers (granted, I didn't give them much time), but it's the fact that Beast Boy is morphed into some sort of demonic goat with a cape... and he's not a metamorph, just a zoomorph. Not much to say, except to launch the Dissector's Picks Of The Week (this is week 05/21, by the way):
Best Book Of The Week was Amazing Spider-Man V1 #560; just a nice story, even though the art is not my cup of tea. Plus, Mary Jane! Worst Book Of The Week was Checkmate V2 #26, not particularly bad, but unoriginal and boring. Now, go on to them dissections, please.
<-------------------------------->
"CUT PART A AND FOLD INTO PART B."
TITLE: Amazing Spider-Man V1 (Marvel).
ISSUE: 560.
CULPRIT: Marcos Martin (artist) and/or Dan Slott (writer).
DISSECTION: I know Paperdoll's victims end up as paper thin corpses, but everything said in the book confirms that they don't change composition, they don't actually turn into paper, but end up compressed (sort of as Flatman), which makes completely unlikely that a forensic investigator would use a non-medical pair of scissors and a box cutter to do the autopsy.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"BATMAN AND THE DISSECTORS!"
TITLE: Batman And The Outsiders V2 (DC).
ISSUE: 07.
CULPRIT: Carlos Rodríguez (penciller).
DISSECTION: Check this out, it's a hard one this time around:
DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars.<-------------------------------->
"BALCK PANTHER."
TITLE: Black Panther V4 (Marvel).
ISSUE: 36.
CULPRIT: Reginald Hudlin (writer) and/or VC's Cory Petit (letterer).
DISSECTION: The word "missile" is spelled as "missle". One of these days I'm going to find out if letterers copy/paste text or retype it...
DISSECT-O-METER: 1 Bazzar.
<-------------------------------->
"HE MOVES SO FAST, WE CAN NEVER GET A GOOD A GOOD PICTURE OF HIM."
TITLE: The Brave And The Bold V3 (DC).
ISSUE: 13.
CULPRIT: Jerry Ordway (penciller).
DISSECTION: Jay Garrick's chest emblem, as usual, is drawn incorrectly.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"CECKMATE."
TITLE: Checkmate V2 (DC).
ISSUE: 26.
CULPRIT: Bruce Jones (writer).
DISSECTION: A Venezuelan man yells "JESUCHRISTO!", when it's "Jesucristo".
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"PSIBORG."
TITLE: DC Special: Cyborg (DC).
ISSUE: 06 of 06.
CULPRIT: Mark Sable (writer) and/or Steve Wands (letterer).
DISSECTION: The surname "Pérez" (my own, by the way) is spelled "Peréz", which is, of course, incorrect.
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. Also, Cyborg's friend, Ron, has brown eyes... then in one page he's got blue eyes.
<-------------------------------->
"FASTER THAN HIS OWN BOOTS!"
TITLE: The Flash V2 (DC).
ISSUE: 240.
CULPRIT: Freddie E. Williams II (artist).
DISSECTION: Jay Garrick's boots are drawn incorrectly, without the wings, and too high.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"NOT EVEN IN HIS OWN TEAM BOOK..."
TITLE: Justice Society Of America V3 (DC).
ISSUE: 15.
CULPRIT: Dale Eaglesham (penciller).
DISSECTION: Jay's emblem, as usual.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"CANARY FASHION."
TITLE: Tangent: Superman's Reign (DC).
ISSUE: 03 of 12.
CULPRIT: Jamal Igle (penciller).
DISSECTION: Black Canary's boots are drawn incorrectly. At least they started calling New Earth by its correct name.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"BUZZ OFF."
TITLE: X-Factor V4 (Marvel).
ISSUE: 31.
CULPRIT: Peter David (writer) and/or VC's Cory Petit (letterer).
DISSECTION: Rictor calls Arcade a "zañgano", a word that doesn't exist, it's supposed to be "zangano" (as in a drone, in bees). Plus, the "Ñ" is smaller than the rest of the letters to account for the tilde, which is incorrect, it should be the same size.
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"FUZZY MEMORIES."
TITLE: X-Men: Divided We Stand (Marvel).
ISSUE: 02 of 02.
CULPRIT: David Lafuente (artist, "The Sun Also Sets" story).
DISSECTION: Lafuente depicts Surge's memories of the Messiah Complex events, and draws her costume (and hairstyle) different from what she wore back then.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
A week with a regular average of 6.4 Bazzars, in thirteen dissections total. Moments Of The Week! Wait... someone else is doing Moments Of The Week, and that's Kirk Warren over at Weekly Crisis. He's been doing them since September 12, 2007, while I started doing Moments Of The Week in December that year... but September 1st, 2007, marks the first time I had the "WTF?/DAYAMN!" moments of the week, which ended up being basically the same thing. So we've been doing this almost for the same amount of time, and some of our MOTs match (including on his first MOT, Black Adam bungee jumping with Yeti entrails), so my hat's off to Kirk.
What's my first MOT this week? Reed Richard's anniversary gift to his wife:
Really Reed? A micro-galaxy with actual, living, sentient beings inside of it? Isn't that a little bit callous? Next, one of my favorite ultimizations of a Marvel character:
Va-va-boom!!!! Agatha Harkness has never looked so good! Now, a mystery revealed:
Batman is not THAT much of a dick... And last... despite the artist making her look like Amy Winehouse, this is a good moment:
"It's magic"? "let me explain to ya"? And she's reading Faust?!?!? That's rich, Dan Slott, very rich. That's it for now, until next week, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...THE DISSECTOR!
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
The Dissector #75.
DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)
[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]
"TAKE MY TENTACLE!" Random alien, Doctor Who #6.
Seventy five columns! Nice number, isn't it? I accept diamond gifts, if you like... or from Diamond Distribution. This column is on comics published the week of 05/14, and by the way, nobody found the DT! from last time. Captain America's costume lacks the stripes in the back... remember, it's based on the US flag?
Quick, Dissector's Picks Of The Week! Best Book Of The Week is, without a doubt, Thunderbolts #120, a veritable action and laughs fest thanks to Norman Osborn... oh yes, and some guys lead by a certain Warren Ellis. Worst Book Of The Week? Hmm, let me think...Wonder Woman V3 #20... great art, and I'm sure Gail Simone's working her ass off for this storyline... but I'm just not feeling it. It might not be a bad story, of poor quality, but I just don't enjoy it. Oh, about the quote of the week... only in Doctor Who... only in Doctor Who...
<-------------------------------->
"IN A GADDA DA VIDA!"
TITLE: All-New Iron Manual (Marvel).
ISSUE: One-shot.
CULPRIT: Anthony Flamini & others (writers).
DISSECTION: Veda's name is "Magdalena" not "Magdelina".
DISSECT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"THE DISSECTOR V2."
TITLE: The Dissector (Studio Robota).
ISSUE: 74.
CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).
DISSECTION: Three dissections in one column! The first one was discovered by Snakebyte, who gets a badge and makes lieutenant, pointing out that I erroneously labeled Invincible Iron Man as V5, when it's V2. I also labeled Captain America as V2 when it's V5, and labeled a DC book in the title section of the dissection as (DC Comics) instead of my usual (DC), Not wrong, but I wasn't following my own conventions.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars for the volume ones, 1 for the DC one.
<-------------------------------->
"QUESTION EVERYTHING."
TITLE: GeNext (Marvel).
ISSUE: 01 of 05.
CULPRIT: Patrick Scherberger (penciller).
DISSECTION: Characters with no faces.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"I WENT TO THE SAME BIOLOGY CLASS AS DWAYNE."
TITLE: Green Lantern Corps V2 (DC).
ISSUE: 24.
CULPRIT: Peter J. Tomasi (writer).
DISSECTION: Pete, plants are "flora", not "fauna".
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. Also, Kyle's emblem is drawn incorrectly.
<-------------------------------->
"JUNTA ERRORES."
TITLE: The Last Defenders (Marvel).
ISSUE: 03 of 06.
CULPRIT: Joe Casey (writer).
DISSECTION: Junta (a codename that makes no sense) has a robot who speaks the most awful Spanish ever. Well, not worse than Blue Beetle #26.
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"BLACK CAT?"
TITLE: New Exiles (Marvel).
ISSUE: 06.
CULPRIT: Wil Quintana (colorist).
DISSECTION: Wil, would you explain to me why Cat (an alternate dimension Kitty Pryde) is colored as if she were black, or part black?
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. And of course, Morph.
<-------------------------------->
"SUPERPODERES!"
TITLE: Project Superpowers (Dynamite).
ISSUE: 03 of 07.
CULPRIT: Jim Krueger (writer).
DISSECTION: Three instances of horrible Spanish
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars for the worst, 7 for the other two.
<-------------------------------->
"TITANS, DISSECT TOGETHER!"
TITLE: Titans V2 (DC).
ISSUE: 02.
CULPRIT: Joe Benitez (penciller).
DISSECTION: Check it out, and tell me what's wrong here:
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. Also, on another note, Starfire's skin is colored incorrectly in some pages, making it seem that she's got normal human Caucasian skin, a bit tan, but not her alien orange.
<-------------------------------->
"ВЫЕЗД!"
TITLE: X-Men Origins: Colossus (Marvel).
ISSUE: One-shot.
CULPRIT: Trevor Hairsine (penciller).
DISSECTION: An exit sign in a Russian FSS (Federal Security Service, successor, among other things, to KGB) is in English.
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. Also, Banshee's costume in the last page is wrong.
<-------------------------------->
"OH, DEUS!"
TITLE: Zorro (Dynamite).
ISSUE: 03.
CULPRIT: Matt Wagner (writer).
DISSECTION: Ah, they keep getting better, but never will they get the Spanish right. Come on, 14.8% of the US population is Hispanic, around 44 million people! Get a consultant! In this case, there are several things, but the worst is calling Christ "Christos", when it's "Cristo" in Spanish.
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. Still, five dissections in one issue is almost passable. Almost anything is, compared to Blue Beetle #26.
<-------------------------------->
Well, that's almost a wrap... 6.6 average Bazzars in twenty two nits, pretty cool, huh? Before we go, Moments Of The Week! First, Everybody's Dead continues to make me laugh, this time, with zombie trick-or-treaters (remember, it's the morning after Halloween):
Of course, you give them human flesh! Next, a great scene, alone with Norman "Green Goblin" Osborn:
Norman for president! And now, just a moment of pure, unadulterated awesomeness:
Tell me you wouldn't wet your pants with that flying your way! Last, Tiny Titans, always telling it like it is:
At least it's not jeans and a tank top... or a t-shirt... That's it for now, until next week, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...
THE DISSECTOR!
DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)
[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]
"TAKE MY TENTACLE!" Random alien, Doctor Who #6.
Seventy five columns! Nice number, isn't it? I accept diamond gifts, if you like... or from Diamond Distribution. This column is on comics published the week of 05/14, and by the way, nobody found the DT! from last time. Captain America's costume lacks the stripes in the back... remember, it's based on the US flag?
Quick, Dissector's Picks Of The Week! Best Book Of The Week is, without a doubt, Thunderbolts #120, a veritable action and laughs fest thanks to Norman Osborn... oh yes, and some guys lead by a certain Warren Ellis. Worst Book Of The Week? Hmm, let me think...Wonder Woman V3 #20... great art, and I'm sure Gail Simone's working her ass off for this storyline... but I'm just not feeling it. It might not be a bad story, of poor quality, but I just don't enjoy it. Oh, about the quote of the week... only in Doctor Who... only in Doctor Who...
<-------------------------------->
"IN A GADDA DA VIDA!"
TITLE: All-New Iron Manual (Marvel).
ISSUE: One-shot.
CULPRIT: Anthony Flamini & others (writers).
DISSECTION: Veda's name is "Magdalena" not "Magdelina".
DISSECT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"THE DISSECTOR V2."
TITLE: The Dissector (Studio Robota).
ISSUE: 74.
CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).
DISSECTION: Three dissections in one column! The first one was discovered by Snakebyte, who gets a badge and makes lieutenant, pointing out that I erroneously labeled Invincible Iron Man as V5, when it's V2. I also labeled Captain America as V2 when it's V5, and labeled a DC book in the title section of the dissection as (DC Comics) instead of my usual (DC), Not wrong, but I wasn't following my own conventions.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars for the volume ones, 1 for the DC one.
<-------------------------------->
"QUESTION EVERYTHING."
TITLE: GeNext (Marvel).
ISSUE: 01 of 05.
CULPRIT: Patrick Scherberger (penciller).
DISSECTION: Characters with no faces.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"I WENT TO THE SAME BIOLOGY CLASS AS DWAYNE."
TITLE: Green Lantern Corps V2 (DC).
ISSUE: 24.
CULPRIT: Peter J. Tomasi (writer).
DISSECTION: Pete, plants are "flora", not "fauna".
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. Also, Kyle's emblem is drawn incorrectly.
<-------------------------------->
"JUNTA ERRORES."
TITLE: The Last Defenders (Marvel).
ISSUE: 03 of 06.
CULPRIT: Joe Casey (writer).
DISSECTION: Junta (a codename that makes no sense) has a robot who speaks the most awful Spanish ever. Well, not worse than Blue Beetle #26.
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"BLACK CAT?"
TITLE: New Exiles (Marvel).
ISSUE: 06.
CULPRIT: Wil Quintana (colorist).
DISSECTION: Wil, would you explain to me why Cat (an alternate dimension Kitty Pryde) is colored as if she were black, or part black?
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. And of course, Morph.
<-------------------------------->
"SUPERPODERES!"
TITLE: Project Superpowers (Dynamite).
ISSUE: 03 of 07.
CULPRIT: Jim Krueger (writer).
DISSECTION: Three instances of horrible Spanish
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars for the worst, 7 for the other two.
<-------------------------------->
"TITANS, DISSECT TOGETHER!"
TITLE: Titans V2 (DC).
ISSUE: 02.
CULPRIT: Joe Benitez (penciller).
DISSECTION: Check it out, and tell me what's wrong here:
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. Also, on another note, Starfire's skin is colored incorrectly in some pages, making it seem that she's got normal human Caucasian skin, a bit tan, but not her alien orange.
<-------------------------------->
"ВЫЕЗД!"
TITLE: X-Men Origins: Colossus (Marvel).
ISSUE: One-shot.
CULPRIT: Trevor Hairsine (penciller).
DISSECTION: An exit sign in a Russian FSS (Federal Security Service, successor, among other things, to KGB) is in English.
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. Also, Banshee's costume in the last page is wrong.
<-------------------------------->
"OH, DEUS!"
TITLE: Zorro (Dynamite).
ISSUE: 03.
CULPRIT: Matt Wagner (writer).
DISSECTION: Ah, they keep getting better, but never will they get the Spanish right. Come on, 14.8% of the US population is Hispanic, around 44 million people! Get a consultant! In this case, there are several things, but the worst is calling Christ "Christos", when it's "Cristo" in Spanish.
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. Still, five dissections in one issue is almost passable. Almost anything is, compared to Blue Beetle #26.
<-------------------------------->
Well, that's almost a wrap... 6.6 average Bazzars in twenty two nits, pretty cool, huh? Before we go, Moments Of The Week! First, Everybody's Dead continues to make me laugh, this time, with zombie trick-or-treaters (remember, it's the morning after Halloween):
Of course, you give them human flesh! Next, a great scene, alone with Norman "Green Goblin" Osborn:
Norman for president! And now, just a moment of pure, unadulterated awesomeness:
Tell me you wouldn't wet your pants with that flying your way! Last, Tiny Titans, always telling it like it is:
At least it's not jeans and a tank top... or a t-shirt... That's it for now, until next week, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...
THE DISSECTOR!
Friday, July 18, 2008
The Dissector #74.
DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)
[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]
"I always punch anything I see that's wearing a swastika!" Captain America, Giant-Size Avengers/Invaders #1.
Alright, still on the catch up job, with a column about comics published on the week of 05/07, plus a few older dissections. Last column's Dissect This! was spotted by Sully, who reaches the rank of Lieutenant in the HDSC. Of course, you can't kill 29 billion men, since there's roughly over 6 billion people on Earth; and no Snakebyte, it doesn't matter that Y: The Last Man happens in a fictitious Earth.
Before the actual dissections, let's see the Dissector's Picks Of The Week. Best Book was Star Wars: Legacy #23, solid issue on a usually solid series, great plot by Ostrander and excellent art by Jan Duursema (instead of the occasional fill-in artists, who aren't always up to her standards) Worst Book Of The Week is Metal Men V4 #8, last issue in a flop of a series that showed me that Duncan Rouleau. Thank God it's over.
<-------------------------------->
"MOM! CLARK IS INTERFERING WITH MY COMPUTER!!"
TITLE: Action Comics (DC).
ISSUE: Annual #11.
CULPRIT: Geoff Johns & Richard Donner (writers).
DISSECTION: Okay, I'm too tired to write a rant about the new Superman status quo, about the bumbling Clark Kent persona, etc, etc, etc, etc... and it's been so long since I read it that I lost the whole rant I had composed in my head. I can't even consider most of it as dissections, as much as I disagree with it, because it's slowly being retconned into post Infinite Crisis continuity. However, there is one thing that I can't accept, and that's Superman's powers sometimes interfering with computers, forcing Clark Kent to work on a typewriter. WHAT? I can understand (even if I don't agree) wanting to return to a Silver Age feeling, but this doesn't even make sense! He's not Electric Blue Superman! Not only that, but they haven't shown this happening in any other books, so it might be stretching it a bit, but I'll have to say this is a dissection.
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. Yes, that might have some pent up frustration added.
<-------------------------------->
"SKRULL!!!"
TITLE: Amazing Spider-Man V1 (Marvel).
ISSUE: 558.
CULPRIT: Avalon's Hannin & Milla (colorists)
DISSECTION: JJJ's hair and moustache show no sign of his age.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"ANGLE: AFTER THE FALL OF MY DICTIONARY."
TITLE: Angel: After The Fall (IDW).
ISSUE: 07.
CULPRIT: Brian Lynch (writer) and/or Robbie Robbins (letterer).
DISSECTION: The word "ringing" is used instead of "wringing". Also, "hobble" instead of "cobble".
DISSECT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars each.
<-------------------------------->
"INVADERS, DISSECT THIS!"
TITLE: Avengers/Invaders (Marvel).
ISSUE: 01 of 12.
CULPRIT: Steve Sadowski (penciller).
DISSECTION: Check this out, what's wrong with this image? And yes, that's Cap in WWII, with his definitive costume.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"WE, TEH PEOPLE..."
TITLE: Cable V2 (Marvel).
ISSUE: 03.
CULPRIT: Duane Swierczynski (writer) & VC's Joe Caramagna (letterer).
DISSECTION: Usually people gather in an "assembly", not an "assmebly".
DISSECT-O-METER: 1 Bazzar.
<-------------------------------->
"FUCK IT EASY."
TITLE: Captain America V2 (Marvel).
ISSUE: 338.
CULPRIT: Mark Gruenwald (writer).
DISSECTION: Not only Fer-de-Lance's Spanish dialogue has the wrong exclamation marks, she also says "cógelo suave" as "take it easy"; which is a literal translation but not the right one, which would be "tómatelo con calma", particularly since she's Latin American and "coger" is only used in Spain; since in Latin America it means "to fuck". Brownie points to Gruenwald for using some accented vowels, though.
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"WHO COLORED THIS?"
TITLE: Empire (DC).
ISSUE: 0.
CULPRIT: Unknown cover designer.
DISSECTION: Colorist Chris Sotomayor is credited on the cover as "Sotomayer".
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"AFRICA? WHERE'S THAT?"
TITLE: The Invincible Iron Man V5 (Marvel).
ISSUE: 01.
CULPRIT: Salvador Larroca (artist) and Matt Fraction (writer).
DISSECTION: Iron Man stands on a holographic display of the world which tracks anyone who's worn or wears a suit of high-tech armor, and says that none of them is in Africa... yet there's clearly one marked as in being in Africa.
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"IT'S GOT A HORN, WHO'S GONNA TELL THE DIFFERENCE?"
TITLE: Star Spangled Comics V1 (DC Comics).
ISSUE: 36.
CULPRIT: Unknown writer.
DISSECTION: This one is from 1944, making it the oldest dissection in the history of this column. I found it in Blockade Boy's blog, where Robotman (the Golden Age character, not Cliff Steele) battles some dinosaurs, and the writer refers to one (possibly a triceratops) as a "rhinoceros". I know dinosaurs weren't that popular back then but...
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"THEPHANTOM."
TITLE: The Phantom V7 (Moonstone).
ISSUE: 11.
CULPRIT: Unknown ad designer.
DISSECTION: Text in an advertisement lacks several spaces, after commas, and joining the words "andJoel".
DISSECT-O-METER: 2 Bazzars. By the way, this one is also and old one.. but from this decade.
<-------------------------------->
End of this column, thanks for reading, thirteen dissections and an average of 6.2 Bazzars. Oh, you want the moments of the week? Sure, alright. First one, the future Christian Walker, from Powers, waits so long that he doesn't get old, he evolves:
And you complain when your girlfriend makes you wait for her! Then, homoerotic feel-ups between FDR and Winston Churchill:
Yeah, no thanks Frankie, I'd rather not feel you up... Last, and my favorite from this week, Norman Osborn drives home the point that the Green Goblin is NOT a Joker rip-off:
I love it how he made bombs out of ORANGE pendrives. That's it for now, until next week, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...
THE DISSECTOR!
DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)
[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]
"I always punch anything I see that's wearing a swastika!" Captain America, Giant-Size Avengers/Invaders #1.
Alright, still on the catch up job, with a column about comics published on the week of 05/07, plus a few older dissections. Last column's Dissect This! was spotted by Sully, who reaches the rank of Lieutenant in the HDSC. Of course, you can't kill 29 billion men, since there's roughly over 6 billion people on Earth; and no Snakebyte, it doesn't matter that Y: The Last Man happens in a fictitious Earth.
Before the actual dissections, let's see the Dissector's Picks Of The Week. Best Book was Star Wars: Legacy #23, solid issue on a usually solid series, great plot by Ostrander and excellent art by Jan Duursema (instead of the occasional fill-in artists, who aren't always up to her standards) Worst Book Of The Week is Metal Men V4 #8, last issue in a flop of a series that showed me that Duncan Rouleau. Thank God it's over.
<-------------------------------->
"MOM! CLARK IS INTERFERING WITH MY COMPUTER!!"
TITLE: Action Comics (DC).
ISSUE: Annual #11.
CULPRIT: Geoff Johns & Richard Donner (writers).
DISSECTION: Okay, I'm too tired to write a rant about the new Superman status quo, about the bumbling Clark Kent persona, etc, etc, etc, etc... and it's been so long since I read it that I lost the whole rant I had composed in my head. I can't even consider most of it as dissections, as much as I disagree with it, because it's slowly being retconned into post Infinite Crisis continuity. However, there is one thing that I can't accept, and that's Superman's powers sometimes interfering with computers, forcing Clark Kent to work on a typewriter. WHAT? I can understand (even if I don't agree) wanting to return to a Silver Age feeling, but this doesn't even make sense! He's not Electric Blue Superman! Not only that, but they haven't shown this happening in any other books, so it might be stretching it a bit, but I'll have to say this is a dissection.
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. Yes, that might have some pent up frustration added.
<-------------------------------->
"SKRULL!!!"
TITLE: Amazing Spider-Man V1 (Marvel).
ISSUE: 558.
CULPRIT: Avalon's Hannin & Milla (colorists)
DISSECTION: JJJ's hair and moustache show no sign of his age.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"ANGLE: AFTER THE FALL OF MY DICTIONARY."
TITLE: Angel: After The Fall (IDW).
ISSUE: 07.
CULPRIT: Brian Lynch (writer) and/or Robbie Robbins (letterer).
DISSECTION: The word "ringing" is used instead of "wringing". Also, "hobble" instead of "cobble".
DISSECT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars each.
<-------------------------------->
"INVADERS, DISSECT THIS!"
TITLE: Avengers/Invaders (Marvel).
ISSUE: 01 of 12.
CULPRIT: Steve Sadowski (penciller).
DISSECTION: Check this out, what's wrong with this image? And yes, that's Cap in WWII, with his definitive costume.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"WE, TEH PEOPLE..."
TITLE: Cable V2 (Marvel).
ISSUE: 03.
CULPRIT: Duane Swierczynski (writer) & VC's Joe Caramagna (letterer).
DISSECTION: Usually people gather in an "assembly", not an "assmebly".
DISSECT-O-METER: 1 Bazzar.
<-------------------------------->
"FUCK IT EASY."
TITLE: Captain America V2 (Marvel).
ISSUE: 338.
CULPRIT: Mark Gruenwald (writer).
DISSECTION: Not only Fer-de-Lance's Spanish dialogue has the wrong exclamation marks, she also says "cógelo suave" as "take it easy"; which is a literal translation but not the right one, which would be "tómatelo con calma", particularly since she's Latin American and "coger" is only used in Spain; since in Latin America it means "to fuck". Brownie points to Gruenwald for using some accented vowels, though.
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"WHO COLORED THIS?"
TITLE: Empire (DC).
ISSUE: 0.
CULPRIT: Unknown cover designer.
DISSECTION: Colorist Chris Sotomayor is credited on the cover as "Sotomayer".
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"AFRICA? WHERE'S THAT?"
TITLE: The Invincible Iron Man V5 (Marvel).
ISSUE: 01.
CULPRIT: Salvador Larroca (artist) and Matt Fraction (writer).
DISSECTION: Iron Man stands on a holographic display of the world which tracks anyone who's worn or wears a suit of high-tech armor, and says that none of them is in Africa... yet there's clearly one marked as in being in Africa.
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"IT'S GOT A HORN, WHO'S GONNA TELL THE DIFFERENCE?"
TITLE: Star Spangled Comics V1 (DC Comics).
ISSUE: 36.
CULPRIT: Unknown writer.
DISSECTION: This one is from 1944, making it the oldest dissection in the history of this column. I found it in Blockade Boy's blog, where Robotman (the Golden Age character, not Cliff Steele) battles some dinosaurs, and the writer refers to one (possibly a triceratops) as a "rhinoceros". I know dinosaurs weren't that popular back then but...
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"THEPHANTOM."
TITLE: The Phantom V7 (Moonstone).
ISSUE: 11.
CULPRIT: Unknown ad designer.
DISSECTION: Text in an advertisement lacks several spaces, after commas, and joining the words "andJoel".
DISSECT-O-METER: 2 Bazzars. By the way, this one is also and old one.. but from this decade.
<-------------------------------->
End of this column, thanks for reading, thirteen dissections and an average of 6.2 Bazzars. Oh, you want the moments of the week? Sure, alright. First one, the future Christian Walker, from Powers, waits so long that he doesn't get old, he evolves:
And you complain when your girlfriend makes you wait for her! Then, homoerotic feel-ups between FDR and Winston Churchill:
Yeah, no thanks Frankie, I'd rather not feel you up... Last, and my favorite from this week, Norman Osborn drives home the point that the Green Goblin is NOT a Joker rip-off:
I love it how he made bombs out of ORANGE pendrives. That's it for now, until next week, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...
THE DISSECTOR!
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
The Dissector #73.
DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)
[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]
"I fucking hate writing speeches. I would rather suck green syphalitic donkey dicks! (filled with puss)." Mayor Mitchell Hundred, Ex Machina #36, speech draft complete with illustrations.
I'm trying to get back on the horse here, and I think I've never been so behind! But anyway, like Master Yoda said, there is no try... Last column was 20 days ago, and nobody got the Dissect This!, and I fear my lack of posting is making me loose readers, so I hope I can prevent that. The DT! was that the relative sizes of Darth Krayt and the stormtroopers around him were all screwed up, making him look twice the size of the stormies.
Picks Of The Week! Best Book (week of 04/30) was I Was Kidnapped By Lesbian Pirates From Outerspace #1, which was a funny first issue, with a coloring method reminiscent of old, four color comics, but in the best way possible. And like my friend Chuck just said while he watched me write this "it's so tastefully done, for having such a title that could very well be used for the most lewd of jokes". Of course, he said it with a more colorful expression. Very ingenious book written, pencilled, inked, colored, lettered and possibly even stapled by Megan Rose Gedris, of whom I'd like to see more work. Worst Book was Blue Beetle V7 #26... all Spanish issue; but I reserve my rant for further down....
Now, you'll find a few dissections from old issues (early in this decade, or even from the 80s); that's because I mistakenly stored some of the dissections in a folder named 04/29, and worked with that, then added the older ones to reach the ten dissections quota... only to find after finishing most of it that there were a few more in the 04/30 folder! Yeah, like I actually needed MORE dissections for THIS column (see Blue Beetle rant later).
<-------------------------------->
"SUPER POWERS!"
TITLE: Action Comics (DC).
ISSUE: 864.
CULPRIT: Geoff Johns (writer).
DISSECTION: Geoff Johns still neglects to mention some of Superman's powers in the character intro; I can understand not mentioning heat vision, but invulnerability should be up there, even more than his sensory powers.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"SPANISHATION DESENCADENATED!"
TITLE: Blue Beetle V7 (DC).
ISSUE: 26.
CULPRIT: Jai Nitz (writer) & Sergio Aragonés (translation terrorist).
DISSECTION: God. Where to start? Let me say this: for a book with Hispanic characters as a star and most of the supporting cast, Blue Beetle has been surprisingly low on Spanish language mistakes. Until now. I initially cringed when they announced a special Spanish language issue, however, the high quality the book has displayed so far came to my mind, and trusted whoever would be writing it to find a good translator.
Then all my hopes were shattered when I saw the book cover and I found that they MADE UP A WORD!!! The cover reads "¡EL PARÁSITO DESTRAILLÓ!", and "destrailló" is not a real word. I'm familiar with many Spanish regional dialects from all over America, to varying degrees, and even with Spanish as spoken in Spain itself (by the way, the correct name of the language is actually "Castillian"); and I've even checked with other people, and in the Royal Spanish Language Academy Dictionary (which includes even the most outrageous regional slang you can imagine): this word does not exist. All the places I find it on the web are translations that seem to be done with translating software, which thought it was the Spanish word for "unleashed" (where "destraillar" would be "to unleash"). It's even spread to Wiktionary, where I just left a message in the discussion page to have it deleted.
Then, if you keep reading the issue, I found more and more Spanish language mistakes, ranging from very slight ones (and even some I didn't even count, like forgetting an opening exclamation sign here or there, or an accent on a vowel somewhere), from very significant mistakes such as disastrous verb conjugations or sentences constructed in such a way that made absolutely no sense. By the end of the book, I had counted 57, yes, fifty seven Spanish language mistakes, not counting the cover. Together with one artistic error (a character missing a face), this book had 59 total dissections, beating Civil War: Battle Damage Report's 26 by more than double!
What was the worse (or funniest, you decide) thing about this book? That when I got to the end of it, writer Nitz thanked Sergio Aragonés for "keeping it "verdadero""... Was Aragonés (who was born in Spain and grew up in Mexico) drunk? Pulling a prank on Nitz? Getting revenge for Nitz boinking his granddaughter? Because no one who actually knows Spanish would ever translate the issue as this one was... Complete and utter garbage; and the story isn't even up to Blue Beetle standards.
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars; and I gave the other 57 language dissections an average of 7 Bazzars each. Oh, I just noticed... the writer's last name is "Nitz".... hehehe.
<-------------------------------->
"LESS IS MORE."
TITLE: Dissector (Studio Robota).
ISSUE: 55.
CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).
DISSECTION: In one of the entries I wrote "This one has a lot of them than say", which is missing the word "less"; it should be "This one has a lot less of them than say".
DISSECT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"THE DINGSECTOR."
TITLE: Dissector (Studio Robota).
ISSUE: 72.
CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).
DISSECTION: I dubbed Jim Starlin "Starling".
DISSECT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"NOT AS BAD AS BLUE BEETLE."
TITLE: Flash V2 (DC).
ISSUE: Annual 13.
CULPRIT: Chuck Dixon (writer).
DISSECTION: So, this is one of the old dissections from my vault, from the year 2000. Alcatena, the Argentinian artist (great artist and great person) helped Chuck Dixon create Súper Malón, an Argentinian superhero team. However, one of the Argentinian characters says goodbye to the Flashes (Wally West and Jay Garrick) by saying "Ciao, mi amigos."; "ciao" is Italian, and "my friends" in Spanish should be "mis amigos".
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"STORMTROOPER BOOTS."
TITLE: Green Lantern V4 (DC).
ISSUE: 30.
CULPRIT: Randy Mayor (colorist).
DISSECTION: Abin Sur's boots are colored white, when they were green (same exact uniform Hal Jordan would wear for most of his GL career).
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"THREEBOOT BOOTS."
TITLE: The Legion of Super-Heroes V5 (DC).
ISSUE: 41.
CULPRIT: Aaron Lopresti (penciller).
DISSECTION: Ultra Boy's boots are drawn incorrectly.
DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"IT'S GOT A NICE RING TO IT."
TITLE: The Legion of Super-Heroes V5 (DC).
ISSUE: 41.
CULPRIT: Jim Shooter (writer).
DISSECTION: A nice write-up of the (threeboot) history of the flight rings is given, but it's main difference from previous versions is ignored: invisibility from the UFP surveillance network.
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"COLORED DISCS."
TITLE: Marvel Comics Presents V2 (Marvel).
ISSUE:
CULPRIT: Laura Villari (colorist).
DISSECTION: U.S.Agent's shield is colored incorrectly. And of course, his name.... twice.
DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"NEW YARK CITY."
TITLE: Suicide Squad V1 (DC).
ISSUE: 28.
CULPRIT: John Ostrander & Kim Yale (writers) and/or Todd Klein (letterer).
DISSECTION: Another one from the vault, this time from further back, 1989, part of The Janus Directive event. "Manhattan" is spelled "Manhattan" in one of General Wade Eiling's lines.
DISSECT-O-METER: 2 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"Y IS THIS A DISSECTION?"
TITLE: Y: The Last Man (DC/Vertigo).
ISSUE: 01.
CULPRIT: Brian K. Vaughan (writer).
DISSECTION: Last one, and also from the vault, 2002 in this case. What's wrong with this sentence from the prologue? "This "gendercide" instantaneously exterminated 48% of the global population, or approximately 29 billion men." Easy, innit?
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
As bulky as columns can be, with 71 dissections, for an average of 6.9; pretty high. Let's get this show on the road then, with the Moments Of The Week! First up, Chameleon of the LSH creeps me out:
DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)
[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]
"I fucking hate writing speeches. I would rather suck green syphalitic donkey dicks! (filled with puss)." Mayor Mitchell Hundred, Ex Machina #36, speech draft complete with illustrations.
I'm trying to get back on the horse here, and I think I've never been so behind! But anyway, like Master Yoda said, there is no try... Last column was 20 days ago, and nobody got the Dissect This!, and I fear my lack of posting is making me loose readers, so I hope I can prevent that. The DT! was that the relative sizes of Darth Krayt and the stormtroopers around him were all screwed up, making him look twice the size of the stormies.
Picks Of The Week! Best Book (week of 04/30) was I Was Kidnapped By Lesbian Pirates From Outerspace #1, which was a funny first issue, with a coloring method reminiscent of old, four color comics, but in the best way possible. And like my friend Chuck just said while he watched me write this "it's so tastefully done, for having such a title that could very well be used for the most lewd of jokes". Of course, he said it with a more colorful expression. Very ingenious book written, pencilled, inked, colored, lettered and possibly even stapled by Megan Rose Gedris, of whom I'd like to see more work. Worst Book was Blue Beetle V7 #26... all Spanish issue; but I reserve my rant for further down....
Now, you'll find a few dissections from old issues (early in this decade, or even from the 80s); that's because I mistakenly stored some of the dissections in a folder named 04/29, and worked with that, then added the older ones to reach the ten dissections quota... only to find after finishing most of it that there were a few more in the 04/30 folder! Yeah, like I actually needed MORE dissections for THIS column (see Blue Beetle rant later).
<-------------------------------->
"SUPER POWERS!"
TITLE: Action Comics (DC).
ISSUE: 864.
CULPRIT: Geoff Johns (writer).
DISSECTION: Geoff Johns still neglects to mention some of Superman's powers in the character intro; I can understand not mentioning heat vision, but invulnerability should be up there, even more than his sensory powers.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"SPANISHATION DESENCADENATED!"
TITLE: Blue Beetle V7 (DC).
ISSUE: 26.
CULPRIT: Jai Nitz (writer) & Sergio Aragonés (translation terrorist).
DISSECTION: God. Where to start? Let me say this: for a book with Hispanic characters as a star and most of the supporting cast, Blue Beetle has been surprisingly low on Spanish language mistakes. Until now. I initially cringed when they announced a special Spanish language issue, however, the high quality the book has displayed so far came to my mind, and trusted whoever would be writing it to find a good translator.
Then all my hopes were shattered when I saw the book cover and I found that they MADE UP A WORD!!! The cover reads "¡EL PARÁSITO DESTRAILLÓ!", and "destrailló" is not a real word. I'm familiar with many Spanish regional dialects from all over America, to varying degrees, and even with Spanish as spoken in Spain itself (by the way, the correct name of the language is actually "Castillian"); and I've even checked with other people, and in the Royal Spanish Language Academy Dictionary (which includes even the most outrageous regional slang you can imagine): this word does not exist. All the places I find it on the web are translations that seem to be done with translating software, which thought it was the Spanish word for "unleashed" (where "destraillar" would be "to unleash"). It's even spread to Wiktionary, where I just left a message in the discussion page to have it deleted.
Then, if you keep reading the issue, I found more and more Spanish language mistakes, ranging from very slight ones (and even some I didn't even count, like forgetting an opening exclamation sign here or there, or an accent on a vowel somewhere), from very significant mistakes such as disastrous verb conjugations or sentences constructed in such a way that made absolutely no sense. By the end of the book, I had counted 57, yes, fifty seven Spanish language mistakes, not counting the cover. Together with one artistic error (a character missing a face), this book had 59 total dissections, beating Civil War: Battle Damage Report's 26 by more than double!
What was the worse (or funniest, you decide) thing about this book? That when I got to the end of it, writer Nitz thanked Sergio Aragonés for "keeping it "verdadero""... Was Aragonés (who was born in Spain and grew up in Mexico) drunk? Pulling a prank on Nitz? Getting revenge for Nitz boinking his granddaughter? Because no one who actually knows Spanish would ever translate the issue as this one was... Complete and utter garbage; and the story isn't even up to Blue Beetle standards.
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars; and I gave the other 57 language dissections an average of 7 Bazzars each. Oh, I just noticed... the writer's last name is "Nitz".... hehehe.
<-------------------------------->
"LESS IS MORE."
TITLE: Dissector (Studio Robota).
ISSUE: 55.
CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).
DISSECTION: In one of the entries I wrote "This one has a lot of them than say", which is missing the word "less"; it should be "This one has a lot less of them than say".
DISSECT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"THE DINGSECTOR."
TITLE: Dissector (Studio Robota).
ISSUE: 72.
CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).
DISSECTION: I dubbed Jim Starlin "Starling".
DISSECT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"NOT AS BAD AS BLUE BEETLE."
TITLE: Flash V2 (DC).
ISSUE: Annual 13.
CULPRIT: Chuck Dixon (writer).
DISSECTION: So, this is one of the old dissections from my vault, from the year 2000. Alcatena, the Argentinian artist (great artist and great person) helped Chuck Dixon create Súper Malón, an Argentinian superhero team. However, one of the Argentinian characters says goodbye to the Flashes (Wally West and Jay Garrick) by saying "Ciao, mi amigos."; "ciao" is Italian, and "my friends" in Spanish should be "mis amigos".
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"STORMTROOPER BOOTS."
TITLE: Green Lantern V4 (DC).
ISSUE: 30.
CULPRIT: Randy Mayor (colorist).
DISSECTION: Abin Sur's boots are colored white, when they were green (same exact uniform Hal Jordan would wear for most of his GL career).
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"THREEBOOT BOOTS."
TITLE: The Legion of Super-Heroes V5 (DC).
ISSUE: 41.
CULPRIT: Aaron Lopresti (penciller).
DISSECTION: Ultra Boy's boots are drawn incorrectly.
DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"IT'S GOT A NICE RING TO IT."
TITLE: The Legion of Super-Heroes V5 (DC).
ISSUE: 41.
CULPRIT: Jim Shooter (writer).
DISSECTION: A nice write-up of the (threeboot) history of the flight rings is given, but it's main difference from previous versions is ignored: invisibility from the UFP surveillance network.
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"COLORED DISCS."
TITLE: Marvel Comics Presents V2 (Marvel).
ISSUE:
CULPRIT: Laura Villari (colorist).
DISSECTION: U.S.Agent's shield is colored incorrectly. And of course, his name.... twice.
DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"NEW YARK CITY."
TITLE: Suicide Squad V1 (DC).
ISSUE: 28.
CULPRIT: John Ostrander & Kim Yale (writers) and/or Todd Klein (letterer).
DISSECTION: Another one from the vault, this time from further back, 1989, part of The Janus Directive event. "Manhattan" is spelled "Manhattan" in one of General Wade Eiling's lines.
DISSECT-O-METER: 2 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"Y IS THIS A DISSECTION?"
TITLE: Y: The Last Man (DC/Vertigo).
ISSUE: 01.
CULPRIT: Brian K. Vaughan (writer).
DISSECTION: Last one, and also from the vault, 2002 in this case. What's wrong with this sentence from the prologue? "This "gendercide" instantaneously exterminated 48% of the global population, or approximately 29 billion men." Easy, innit?
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
As bulky as columns can be, with 71 dissections, for an average of 6.9; pretty high. Let's get this show on the road then, with the Moments Of The Week! First up, Chameleon of the LSH creeps me out:
Ew... Next, the return of Barry Allen!
Hell yeah! And last, a sample of why "I Was Kidnapped..." is such a funny book:
Yeah, everyone knows those things only exist in comic books... or porn. At least the hot, lipstick lesbians. All the real life ones I've met are either trucker material or filthy hippies... That's it for now, until next week, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...
THE DISSECTOR!
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